I’m with you @YadaYadaYada it all sounds so grabby. Fortunately, we’ve only been to 2 weddings in the recent years, both children of our best friends. They both already had homes, so didn’t need ‘stuff’, (didn’t have ‘showers’ I don’t know if that’s a thing here yet). When their son got married, we asked if they needed anything particular, and we gave them the money for it, and when their daughter got married, they said IF people wanted to gift them anything, they’d appreciate money towards their honeymoon.
I’m sure I’m completely out of touch with the way things are today, but if we were invited to a wedding of an acquaintance and asked to pay for our food, we simply wouldn’t go.
I don't understand bridal showers...here in Aus they aren't really a thing (yet) but I've just been invited to one, and don't know what to bring, if there's an expectation to bring a gift! I bought champagne glasses, as the bride and groom have a house together already. They had an engagement party, which is pretty par for course here, and of course the wedding in 6 weeks, so I'm a bit baffled as to why another gift-giving event needs to take place. I suppose as they just aren't commonplace here, I don't get them! I never had baby showers for my kids either, I felt uncomfortable with the notion of asking people to a party and bringing gifts for the occupant of my tummy!
Millenial here. Married young, year after uni. Living together in the typical “IKEA is a splurge” fashion of broke grad students. Amongst other things we registered for fine china - since we already had crystal (my side) and sterling (his side).
I’m not seeing how asking people to kindly donate several thousand dollars of tableware, kitchen frivolities, and kitschy bath linens is supposed to be less gauche than asking people to kindly donate to a married couple’s first holiday. All gift requests are grabby and tacky - seems pointless to nitpick one form of tackiness over the other!
Our grandparents were delighted to get us the china, for whatever that’s worth.
I'm all for gifting whatever the couple wishes. It's just the frequency of it that is starting to annoy me. From engagements, to bridal showers/bachelor parties and then to weddings. That's my only frustration with the number of events I'm expected to attend.
TBH--if you are already set up in a house--why the bridal shower?
I would throw an engagement party and request no gifts--just a party.
I thought the point of bridal and baby showers was to gift people things they needed?
Here’s my question—especially if you don’t appreciate the registry or honeymoon fund request: Would you show up to a wedding— knowing the couple spent time and effort to show you a great time— empty-handed? Wouldn’t you want to be just as considerate of the couple by giving them a gift they would actually appreciate? And not just taking a chance that they might like your “thoughtful” gift bc you have no idea what they want?
I think the idea of etiquette goes both ways. Yes not cool to request but even more uncool to give a crappy gift. It’s a given that gifts will be given so you might as well stop with the pretenses and request what you want.
I might be living under a rock I read about things like gender reveal parties and baby showers for number three but I’ve never been invited to such things!
I can’t do no gifts. Maybe that’s rude and presumptuous of me? But giving a newlywed couple or parents-to-be something to celebrate their new journey seems like the only appropriate thing to do. I’m not opposed to gifting unsexy things like diapers and wipes and food delivery vouchers.