Is some regret normal? Should I get over it?

[angela06]

I am feeling pretty spoiled and somewhat guilty about my recently complete ring project. I guess it will take some time to get over it??
LOL. Lame problem to have, I know. I have been wearing the three stone for a few weeks now and have been having some doubts crop up about it.

I love the finger coverage of my new three stone,love the quality of the BGD setting...But I am bothered that the stones don't "match". I am kind of having some remorse about choosing the three stone setting for my OMC instead of getting a period (antique) setting for it. I feel like the three stone would look better with a RB in the middle now that I have it and have been wearing it. I kind of feel like I jumped the gun on setting the OMC into it. I LOVE the BGD setting, it is gorgeous, but I wish I had a stunningly cut RB for the middle. That said, I also wish I had an antique setting for my OMC to go with it's wonky, antique personality. The problem is, my jewelry budget is dry for now, and I can't really go back and change anything.


I also feel guilty for not loving my first e-ring enough for it to be "enough". I love the diamonds in it, and though they are smaller than I wanted, they are cut beautifully, . However, I have always hated the platinum setting. It looks dated to me, is really blocky and heavy, and now is in need of repair for a ding in the shank that is scratchy to my skin. I don't want to put any more money into the existing setting, yet I cannot afford a reset now. I really should have had the Truth x 3 made to fit the diamonds in my existing e-ring (.30/.50/.30) and then set the OMC in a beautiful, antique setting. Oh, regrets are a pain.

I feel silly even writing this. Most people I hang out with do not think about jewelry or diamonds, and would be happy to have a ring this lovely. But somehow, my want is not satisfied with this ring.

What would you do, or have you done when you find out a project didn't turn out to be what thought you wanted all along? Should I just chill for awhile to see if it grows on me?

Please, if this post sounds all over the place, maybe I should just have a glass of wine and STHU. lol. Maybe I am PMS-ing and a big whiner.

 

[Circe]

I think "normal" is a myth ... but, that said, I think what you're describing happens more often than not with custom work, because there's almost always some deviation between what's in your head and what winds up on your hand.

A lot of the time, people either rejigger the piece, or come to terms with it - I did both with a ruby pendant, and now I love it and wear it all the time. Some of the rest of the time? They rejigger it MORE, go through the process again, and THEN wind up with something they love.

Personally, I think your ring looks gorgeous - the OMC is stunning, and the sidestones are well proportioned enough to it that they complement it instead of fighting with it. But if it bugs you, give it a little while and when the jewelry budget flows anew, pop the OMC into a vintage setting (you can get good deals on semi-mounts on eBay if you hunt, or at jewelers), and stick a colored stone in the BGD setting. You'll wind up with a whole wardrobe!

 

[JulieN]

I think your 3 stone is gorgeous! It wouldn't bother me at all that they didn't match. People make 3 stones all the time with differently cut sides.

 

[Enerchi]

I think some "let down" can be normal after the arrival of a new coveted piece of jewelry, because you've been hunting, planning, waiting, analyzing, etc., for an extended period of time, and then when its here --- boom--- all that ends! Its like weddings or the birth of babies - all sorts of build up, then its here!

Whether regret is normal, I dont know. It may be best to live with your ring for a bit. Fall in love with it, see it in all situations, be comfortable with it... give it time. If after say a month or 2 with it, you are still having these thoughts, then it may be worth substituting the OMC out and putting in a MRB/CS instead and waiting till you are financially able, to set the OMC in its antique setting.

Just give it a chance first! I love your ring as is, but that's not important. It's what YOU love that matters!!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I am like that with any jewelery project, in part because its hard for me to spend so much money... but I love it so much! Desire and "should" are often in conflict. And also because I am a perfectionist but usually don't discover my true taste until I live with something a while. What works for me now is to consider my jewelery always a work in progress. Nothing permanent. You can change it up down the road. And you will know better what you want! if it helps I have gotten it right with this most recent instantiation of "ring". It did take a while though.

ETA: A colored gem center is a really nice solution if you do decide after soem time you would rather have a different mount for your OMC!! Not saying what you should or should not do -- sit on it a while and see how you feel -- but just saying that is a great solution. No "waste" that way.

 

[movie zombie]

what would i do? i'd try to get to the bottom of why i'm not happy with it....did i rush into something because i got caught up in the moment and that moment got a momentum of its own going? if so, i look at it as a learning lesson to slow down. if its another reason, i try to learn from it, too.

ultimately, the disappointment usually isn't with the "thing" but with me....did i rush, did i settle for less, etc.

so, chill out, have a glass of wine or two, wear the ring and enjoy it for what it is. try and connect back up to your excitement. and if you can't do it, well, try not to repeat the mistake with another project and start saving to make this one "right".

sometimes we just do things and look back and wonder "what was i thinking?!" sometimes those are the best learning moments.

and sometimes its just buyer's remorse.......and we get over it!

 

[yennyfire]

I like the idea of living with it for a while and if it still bugs you, Dreamer's suggestion about adding a colored stone to the Truth setting and then getting a vintage setting on eBay is perfect! Then you have the best of both worlds.

 

[Fly Girl]

I think that it is normal to feel some let down when a highly anticipated event is over. There are an infinite number of ring settings out there, and you have only one on your finger. There's a difference between abolutely hating what you have, and wishing that you would have made a few small changes when you could have. I've never been one to worry about small tweeks, as long as the ring is basically what I was looking for. The biggest advantage I can see about the ring on your finger, versus the one that got away, is that you actually own that ring and can wear it and look at it and enjoy it.

So, please enjoy your new ring, and don't judge it too harshly. I'm sure it is beautiful the way it is, and I hope it gives you a lot of pleasure for years to come.

 

[MyDiamondSparkles]

Don''t feel silly! You feel what you feel because it's just the way you feel and we PSers can totally relate! Whine away!

Ohhhh I understand the longing for a period setting--I love them! Those elusive period settings are so hard to find though--even harder depending on how large your diamond is! And when I do find them they need lots of expensive repairs. Plus, unless you are right there to try it on they look so different IRL--maybe because the photos of them are always blown up to a bazillion times the size of the setting? I've found trying to find a true antique setting is a lot of work and really becoming no fun at all.

I wonder if you wait a few months where you aren't constantly looking and thinking about the ring if you'll end up thinking "Hey, I kind of like this!" I hope so.

 

[kenny]

Y B normal?

 

[Enerchi]

Angela!

You've had a few days of 'open regret' - what are you thinking now? How about the advice you've received - did it make you feel like you're post purchase experience was more common than you realized? Whassup???

 

[angela06]

Thanks for letting me hear everyone's perspective. I am glad to know that even y'all whose rings are the envy of many a PS'er have feelings of remorse. I feel better!

It makes sense. I had all these fantasies in my head about what it would look like, and there is just no way it can live up to all of my fantasies!! I remind myself to remember my joy and excitement when I first opened the box and put it on--I was giddy!! I still am when I look at it. I think of all that I *DO* like about it and I am happy overall. I think I am getting over the post-project blues.

Part of the sadness was that now that I have made a choice of ring, my other choices are taken away.. I have a tendency to want one of each in everything...

I do love my ring. I am not looking around anymore for the next pretty thing to buy. Now that I am stepped away from ebay and such, it makes it easier to re-join real life and just enjoy the gifts I have.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Thanks for letting me hear everyone's perspective. I am glad to know that even y'all whose rings are the envy of many a PS'er have feelings of remorse. I feel better!

It makes sense. I had all these fantasies in my head about what it would look like, and there is just no way it can live up to all of my fantasies!! I remind myself to remember my joy and excitement when I first opened the box and put it on--I was giddy!! I still am when I look at it. I think of all that I *DO* like about it and I am happy overall. I think I am getting over the post-project blues.

Part of the sadness was that now that I have made a choice of ring, my other choices are taken away.. I have a tendency to want one of each in everything...

I do love my ring. I am not looking around anymore for the next pretty thing to buy. Now that I am stepped away from ebay and such, it makes it easier to re-join real life and just enjoy the gifts I have.

What a wonderful perspective - I am so glad that with some time you have come to see the beauty in this ring. You are an inspiration to many others that have some regret - and I'm sure there are many. Hope others are able to see this thread when they have doubts about their projects!

Enjoy your ring - it is beautiful and so are you!!

 

[movie zombie]

Thanks for letting me hear everyone's perspective. I am glad to know that even y'all whose rings are the envy of many a PS'er have feelings of remorse. I feel better!

It makes sense. I had all these fantasies in my head about what it would look like, and there is just no way it can live up to all of my fantasies!! I remind myself to remember my joy and excitement when I first opened the box and put it on--I was giddy!! I still am when I look at it. I think of all that I *DO* like about it and I am happy overall. I think I am getting over the post-project blues.

Part of the sadness was that now that I have made a choice of ring, my other choices are taken away.. I have a tendency to want one of each in everything...

I do love my ring. I am not looking around anymore for the next pretty thing to buy. Now that I am stepped away from ebay and such, it makes it easier to re-join real life and just enjoy the gifts I have.

re the whole post!

the highlighted are "signature" worthy. very wise, very practical, and so very true.

congrats!