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"Is it real" questions?

throughthemist

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 9, 2019
Messages
4
I kinda need to vent. Maybe?

I recently purchased a vintage diamond ring for myself, which I wear as my right hand ring. I had a major career milestone so it was a gift to myself from me.

It is a multiple-row cluster band. I was deciding between this band and a solitaire ring (priced at a similar price point), but ultimately decided on the cluster band since the solitaire ring felt too much like an e-ring. The quality of the diamonds in the band isn't that great, but I got an amazing deal on it at a pawn shop. There are noticeable inclusions when you look at it with a loupe, but they are eye clean (for the most part) and overall, it is the symbolic meaning of the ring that means the most to me. My birthstone is also a diamond so it's even more special to me.

Ever since I got it, the ring comes up frequently in conversations. People will later tell me that they noticed it as soon as they saw me (even though they don't bring it up right away) and the FIRST question that I'm asked is "so it's real then?" or "is it real?" or some variation of it. Even my boyfriend asked me if it was real.

The questions don't really offend me as I just attribute it to genuine curiosity. Plus the ring is a bit unique looking due to the vintage style (and the double rows make a statement IMO), so I just explain that yes, it's real. I purchased it as a gift for myself as a career milestone & I got a great deal on it at a pawn shop, etc, etc. I also throw in a few recommendations for pawn shops that have a great selection on used jewelry. Usually people will just congratulate me on my milestone and/or mention they want to check out those places for themselves too.

It really doesn't offend or bother me that people ask if it's real. I think it's just curiosity. However, recently a friend told me that it was really offensive for someone to ask that and that if she were me, she would be very offended if someone asked if her jewelry was real.

I am a bit thick skin, so I guess I'm wondering if I supposed to be getting offended for people asking? If so, why exactly is it offensive? I can understand why someone would be offended if someone asked if a small stone were real, but since this ring is a unique looking, statement ring, I can see why people would wonder?
 

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missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
27,763
You know we need photos of this ring please.

And congratulations!
I wouldn’t let what other people think bother me. Remember it’s none of our business what others think. As long as you love it.

Pics pretty please. ❤
 

bludiva

Brilliant_Rock
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Sep 23, 2017
Messages
1,938
I don't think you should be offended and I also don't think you should feel you have to explain how/why you got it or that it was a good deal. I totally understand that impulse, I have the same one myself when people ask about my ring. If it's someone close to me I may still explain to them more about the stone but otherwise I just change the subject. If I was in your shoes I might just reply with something simple like yes, it's a vintage ring and leave it at that.

Congrats on your career milestone and enjoy your special ring!
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
27,763
@missy I just posted the picture! It doesn't bother me, but my friend keeps telling me it should be bothering me. I know I tend to be a bit thicker skinned so I'm having mixed feelings
I think it's beautiful! Thanks for sharing a photo. And definitely do not let what others think and say bother you.
 

Swirl68

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 22, 2018
Messages
176
In my neck of the woods “Is it real?” is definitely a compliment! It’s not limited to jewelry either. I’ve been asked that about handbags, winter coats, and even an umbrella! We also always explain if we got any kind of deal on it. I don’t know why that is??
 

Mrs_Strizzle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 14, 2018
Messages
549
I agree with the above posters that you shouldn't be offended by these questions because who wants to be upset over silliness? I guess others who would be offended feel like it's an insinuation that you may not be able to afford "real"? I don't know. I had a similar situation with a stranger asking if my eyelashes are real. My friend was mortified that it happened, and it felt like she was encouraging me to be upset. I just laughed and said I take it as a compliment! I've certainly got bigger things to worry about.
 

Mamabean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2018
Messages
5,339
@throughthemist I think you should answer the questions the way you feel comfortable. I have had people ask me about both my diamonds and moissanite. I just tell the truth. If someone is being snarky I usually just smile or laugh and not comment....Sometimes I find it’s a jerk reaction when they like something..If it’s innocent..I answer briefly like Missy said..
 

Bonfire

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 22, 2014
Messages
2,897
Your ring is beautiful! I think we “PSers” sometimes forget that a lot of people irl don’t understand jewelry the way we do. The “is it real?” question can be curiosity or an icebreaker to look at your jewel. I personally don’t get offended at all, in fact I find it somewhat amusing. It’s a fun segue into jewelry talk! Congratulations and enjoy your new ring!
 

distracts

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Oct 11, 2011
Messages
5,106
I never get bothered when people ask. Unless they do it in an offensive way. But usually people are just curious. I get a lot of questions since my colored stone pieces can be more eye-catching than common diamond pieces - and I bet the eye-catchingness/unique design is drawing people in on your ring too. I tell them a bit about the piece and how I got it. A lot of my pieces are secondhand so I'll mention that too - I think it's good for everyone to know that jewelry can be obtained at reasonable prices!
 

stracci2000

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jun 26, 2007
Messages
3,263
I've had people ask me this about my diamonds, and also my pearls!
So many times I've had to explain South Sea and Tahitian pearls to people who had never heard of them before.

Think of it as a an opportunity to educate them.
Many many people don't know a single thing about fine jewelry, and their questions are innocent.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
1,975
@throughthemist I think you should answer the questions the way you feel comfortable. I have had people ask me about both my diamonds and moissanite. I just tell the truth. If someone is being snarky I usually just smile or laugh and not comment....Sometimes I find it’s a jerk reaction when they like something..If it’s innocent..I answer briefly like Missy said..
send me a list of these snarky comments people - my cat Borris can provide a 'little present' in a flaming paper bag for them :lol:
 

Bron357

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jan 22, 2014
Messages
3,576
It looks expensive hence the “is it real” along with the thought in their head going “ does she earn enough to afford it / shouldn’t she be saving her money for a house or something / wish I could buy something that nice / wish I could spend my money on something frivolous and beautiful”.
people are complicated, you cant always decipher the meaning behind their question !
its beautiful!
 

Cosmetologist

Shiny_Rock
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Joined
Jan 20, 2018
Messages
142
That is a STUNNING Ring!! Congrats on finding such a Beauty in a Pawnshop! I really love the layout & placement of the Baguettes & the larger Rounds it creates such an eye catching design! A serious piece of Bling!

I have a similar ring & 1 year ago I had the exact same experience with a very rude Shopkeeper who questioned if it was real & wouldn't believe it was due to my age (27) she flat out denounced they were Diamonds & publicly denigrated me in front of other customers please bare in mind she ran an E-Cig Vape Shop she was in no way experienced in the Jewellery Trade I was so embarrassed & very angry, Now I say they are fake whenever some asks it saves the argument again.

But I think who cares what some weird individuals think we know they are Diamonds & IMO that's all that matters!
Again Congrats on your ring its a stunner!! ❤

inCollage_20191118_221113344.jpg
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Apr 30, 2005
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27,058
...
It really doesn't offend or bother me that people ask if it's real. I think it's just curiosity. However, recently a friend told me that it was really offensive for someone to ask that and that if she were me, she would be very offended if someone asked if her jewelry was real.
...
People vary.
Some will be offended, others not.

Your friend has fallen for the common lie that there is only one way to be and everyone should get trained and conform.

To that I say, phooey!
Even if 99% of people agree on one way that does not make the 1% wrong.

You reporting, "It really doesn't offend or bother me that people ask if it's real. I think it's just curiosity." proves that not everyone is offended. I'm another who is not.

Your friend has committed this common fallacy:


Snip:

"In argumentation theory, an argumentum ad populum (Latin for "argument to the people") is a fallacious argument that concludes that a proposition must be true because many or most people believe it, often concisely encapsulated as: "If many believe so, it is so.""
 
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kgizo

Brilliant_Rock
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Joined
Dec 14, 2009
Messages
1,442
It’s a very pretty ring! I wouldn’t be offended. I think people are likely genuinely interested and asking because they haven’t seen anything like it before. I’ve been asked “is it real” for my more unique pieces, but never the basic ones.
 

kipari

Brilliant_Rock
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kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Apr 30, 2005
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27,058
Aaarrrghhh, yes, and it seems to become ever so much more popular these days
(pet peeve of mine)
Me too.

Do what I do.
Speak up.
When the chance arises, fight the good fight against the dumbing down of society.

When you hold up a mirror to them, some people will be offended, others not. :mrgreen:
But you'll sleep better. ;))
 

Garnetgirl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 7, 2014
Messages
445
Your ring is really beautiful and unique. It looks lovely on you.

I don’t know how I would answer if someone asked me if my jewellery was real. I think I would put it down to curiosity or lack of knowledge about gems.

If you’re not offended, more power to you! It’s hard for me to
understand that your friends think you SHOULD be offended! :confused:
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Apr 30, 2005
Messages
27,058
If a woman asked me is my diamond real, then I'll ask her are your boobs real?...:devil:
Dude! Keep your eye on the prize.
Asking her whether they are real ain't gonna get you laid!

Compliment her on their impressive carat weight, how their color compliments her eyes, their light performance keeps you staring at them.
If the bar has black lights you can tell her how beautifully they both fluoresce.
 
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baby monster

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jul 2, 2007
Messages
3,597
Congrats on your career milestone:clap:

I always get myself something special to celebrate achieving my career and education goals. Wear it proudly:dance:

I usually try to sense whether this type of question is genuine curiosity or mean-spirited nosiness and respond accordingly.
 
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