Hey everyone - I''m a new mom already struggling with all of the doubts and concerns I believe most parents worry about with respect to raising well adjusted, happy kids and was wondering if it''s possible to rear kids that don''t one day resent you.
We all must decide what is best for our families and there are some very tricky decisions that need to be made. Ex: to stay home with your kids or be a working mom. How to teach them about money. Where to raise them (near family? in a city or rural environment? etc) . In these cases, many times no one decision is "right" or "wrong." But how do you prevent your kids from thinking as much?
In my case, my mom did NOT stay home - my brother and I had nannies when we were growing up and I DO resent her sometimes for that. I''ve wondered, why didn''t she stay home with us when I know she had the resources to do so had she wanted to.... Especially now that she''s encouraging ME to stay home with my child...
I also know that my brother resents my mom because he feels like my relationship with her is stronger - I think he wonders if she loves me more...
And the two of us both harbor some resentment for the fact that she seems to have focused her life more on her husband''s kids and grandkids than us...
Don''t get me wrong - my mom is a GREAT mom and I love her (and like her!) very very much, but even with our great relationship, I do have some feelings of disappointment with respect to some of the decisions she has made. I don''t focus on those feelings at all and I guess you could say that I forgive her for them, if they''re even things to be forgiven. She''s not perfect and I certainly don''t expect her to be...
Anyway, I''m just wondering if there is anything I can do to prevent my child / children (since we plan to have another one day) from feeling similar disappointments some day?? Or perhaps al I can hope for is for her forgiveness and understanding that I did the best I could...
Thoughts?
Mrs.
We all must decide what is best for our families and there are some very tricky decisions that need to be made. Ex: to stay home with your kids or be a working mom. How to teach them about money. Where to raise them (near family? in a city or rural environment? etc) . In these cases, many times no one decision is "right" or "wrong." But how do you prevent your kids from thinking as much?
In my case, my mom did NOT stay home - my brother and I had nannies when we were growing up and I DO resent her sometimes for that. I''ve wondered, why didn''t she stay home with us when I know she had the resources to do so had she wanted to.... Especially now that she''s encouraging ME to stay home with my child...
I also know that my brother resents my mom because he feels like my relationship with her is stronger - I think he wonders if she loves me more...
And the two of us both harbor some resentment for the fact that she seems to have focused her life more on her husband''s kids and grandkids than us...
Don''t get me wrong - my mom is a GREAT mom and I love her (and like her!) very very much, but even with our great relationship, I do have some feelings of disappointment with respect to some of the decisions she has made. I don''t focus on those feelings at all and I guess you could say that I forgive her for them, if they''re even things to be forgiven. She''s not perfect and I certainly don''t expect her to be...
Anyway, I''m just wondering if there is anything I can do to prevent my child / children (since we plan to have another one day) from feeling similar disappointments some day?? Or perhaps al I can hope for is for her forgiveness and understanding that I did the best I could...
Thoughts?
Mrs.