Is it harder to decide to be a SAHM if you have a high income?

[steph72276]

It makes me really sad when we as women judge each other for the choice to work outside the home or not. I have been on both sides, and I felt judged each way. When I went back to work, I felt guilt from those saying I shouldn't leave my baby when he's so young, and when I quit working to stay home, I have felt judged for staying at home and "not working". Like I said earlier, isn't it great that in 2010, we as women can make the choice to work or stay at home or do a combination of both? We should really focus on lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down. Either choice comes with compromises and we are all just trying to do what is best for our particular family.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 4/13/2010 9:12:56 AM
Author: FL Steph
It makes me really sad when we as women judge each other for the choice to work outside the home or not. I have been on both sides, and I felt judged each way. When I went back to work, I felt guilt from those saying I shouldn''t leave my baby when he''s so young, and when I quit working to stay home, I have felt judged for staying at home and ''not working''. Like I said earlier, isn''t it great that in 2010, we as women can make the choice to work or stay at home or do a combination of both? We should really focus on lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down. Either choice comes with compromises and we are all just trying to do what is best for our particular family.

Well said Steph.

 

[Lilac]

To answer the original question, I think having a high income would definitely make it harder to decide to be a SAHM. Especially if giving up that high income would significantly impact my life (and the life of my family).

When I was choosing a career, I decided I would like to do something that had great options for part time employment. I knew one day I would want to have kids and I wanted to at least have the option of working part time and therefore being able to be home more with my kids. I don''t know what I''ll do one day when I have children - some days I say I''ll want to be a SAHM, some days I think that might drive me crazy and I need to work in order to feel sane, and some days I think the best compromise between the two is working PT. Bottom line is, I think it''s so hard to figure out how you''re going to feel until you''re actually IN the situation.

How can people judge others who choose to stay home with their kids? I would imagine it''s very difficult to leave children who you love so much at home with babysitters or daycare, and if they have the option of staying home and feel it''s best for their family, then why shouldn''t they stay home with their kids?

How can people judge others who choose to go back to work? I would think for some people, the best option is to go back to work, whether for financial reasons or just simply because they enjoy working or need it for their sense of self. It doesn''t mean they love their kids any less. They''re also doing what they feel is best for their family.

I''ve seen plenty of SAHMs who ignore their kids, leave them with babysitters anyway and go shopping all day, or just stick their kids in front of the TV and do what they want to all day. I''ve also seen plenty of SAHMs who are *amazing* and attentive and wonderful with their kids all day and night.

I''ve seen plenty of working parents who ignore their kids, leave them with babysitters, and come home at night and barely speak to their kids because they''re too tired. I''ve also seen many working parents who come home and are *amazing* and attentive and wonderful with their kids during all the time they have to spend with them.

I don''t think anyone should judge SAHMs or working moms (or dads) because you never know someone else''s full story and situation. I''m sure everyone is just trying to do what they feel is best for their children and their families.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 4/13/2010 9:42:37 AM
Author: Lilac
To answer the original question, I think having a high income would definitely make it harder to decide to be a SAHM. Especially if giving up that high income would significantly impact my life (and the life of my family).

When I was choosing a career, I decided I would like to do something that had great options for part time employment. I knew one day I would want to have kids and I wanted to at least have the option of working part time and therefore being able to be home more with my kids. I don''t know what I''ll do one day when I have children - some days I say I''ll want to be a SAHM, some days I think that might drive me crazy and I need to work in order to feel sane, and some days I think the best compromise between the two is working PT. Bottom line is, I think it''s so hard to figure out how you''re going to feel until you''re actually IN the situation.

How can people judge others who choose to stay home with their kids? I would imagine it''s very difficult to leave children who you love so much at home with babysitters or daycare, and if they have the option of staying home and feel it''s best for their family, then why shouldn''t they stay home with their kids?

How can people judge others who choose to go back to work? I would think for some people, the best option is to go back to work, whether for financial reasons or just simply because they enjoy working or need it for their sense of self. It doesn''t mean they love their kids any less. They''re also doing what they feel is best for their family.

I''ve seen plenty of SAHMs who ignore their kids, leave them with babysitters anyway and go shopping all day, or just stick their kids in front of the TV and do what they want to all day. I''ve also seen plenty of SAHMs who are *amazing* and attentive and wonderful with their kids all day and night.

I''ve seen plenty of working parents who ignore their kids, leave them with babysitters, and come home at night and barely speak to their kids because they''re too tired. I''ve also seen many working parents who come home and are *amazing* and attentive and wonderful with their kids during all the time they have to spend with them.

I don''t think anyone should judge SAHMs or working moms (or dads) because you never know someone else''s full story and situation. I''m sure everyone is just trying to do what they feel is best for their children and their families.

Well said, Lilac.

 

[janinegirly]

Date: 4/13/2010 9:23:51 AM
Author: fiery

Date: 4/13/2010 9:12:56 AM
Author: FL Steph
It makes me really sad when we as women judge each other for the choice to work outside the home or not. I have been on both sides, and I felt judged each way. When I went back to work, I felt guilt from those saying I shouldn't leave my baby when he's so young, and when I quit working to stay home, I have felt judged for staying at home and 'not working'. Like I said earlier, isn't it great that in 2010, we as women can make the choice to work or stay at home or do a combination of both? We should really focus on lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down. Either choice comes with compromises and we are all just trying to do what is best for our particular family.

Well said Steph.

thritto. Why is it that it seems that women tend to cast the most judgement when we in fact should be the most supportive. Sure everyone feels "their" way is the best way, but that is the case for YOU and you alone. There are a myriad of reasons why people make the choices they do and it's not always for what you assume. How dare anyone criticize SAHM's for such personal decisions. And how dare anyone judge the reasoning behind working moms? Every day you see news anchors back at work, Kelly Ripa,etc. and do not blink twice. Do they need the money? No, people have different needs to feel fulfilled and humans are muliti dimensional. For each mom their choice is monumentally important and intimate, but outside your family and to the outside world it's simply another's choice/opinion/preference.

 

[lizzyann]

I think it is harder to be a stay at home mom if you are a career minded woman, not necessarily based on the salary earned. I''ve been a SAHM with my son for almost a year now and it works for me and my family. However, I will tell you that sometimes I miss "the career", but I love being home more than anything. My husband works from home as an IT Architect and makes a high wage that can support us with limited changes to our lifestyle.

So yes, we are all home all day together, which works out well when I need to call in another set of hands if there is a really out of control poopie diaper or like this morning when I got peed on and needed to go change!

Before having my son, I was a Buyer for multiple retailers. A career as a Buyer would be hard for a working mom in MHO. I traveled at least once a month to Minneapolis, Dallas, NY, and twice a year to Hong Kong to source product. While in HK, I''d be gone for over two weeks at a time. The traveling is what I knew would not work for me if I decided to keep my job. I miss being a business woman sometimes, but I am ok with it as I enjoy being home more. I plan on getting a PT job this fall, less for the money, but more for the need to get dressed up and go somewhere more regularly. I will be honest....the one thing I miss most now that I am a SAHM is not getting up and getting dressed up and looking nice everyday as I consider myself a little fashionista! Now, I am lucky enough to shower everyday!!!!

 

[plantationcatt]

Date: 4/12/2010 9:34:18 AM
Author: MakingTheGrade
I have to admit though, if we''re being perfectly honest.. If I was married to a literal billionaire and my potential income as a future physician would be trivially contributing to our family income, I would probably be a SAHM and just volunteer at free health clinics as an MD or do various other charity work with flexible hours.

This.

If my husband was making enough to support our family alone, I would personally not tie myself down to 40+ hours/week, but would certainly remain involved in my profession somehow (well, a sideline of my profession that I love even more) because of my passion and for adult interaction. As it stands now, I make 30% more than my husband (but it''s still not a lot, people), and have no idea what we''ll do when we have kids. Ideally I would stay home until they were in pre-school and then go back to work part time. Personally, I think if I was making a higher income, it would be EASIER for me to be a SAHM because before kids I could save crazy money and then after my kids were in school I could go back to work and ramp up my retirement fund in a jiffy compared to a "normal" salary. (Not to say this is easy or doable in all professions).

 

[Mara]

SAHM or working mom threads always end up having some vein of judgement or people feeling upset. it's sad..because everyone should do what works best for them and not feel judged or like they have to justify their lifestyle choices.

i would love a compromise where i could do PT work and stay home PT. if i am lucky i might be able to make that happen but we'll see how things pan out.

all that said... for us the income DOES factor hugely into why i am going back to work. i make about 70% of what my husband does. while we could 'make do' with one income, it would add a lot of stress to the whole equation. nanny or daycare is only about 25% of what i make so financially i can't justify staying home right now. BUT, we are trying to save as much as possible though to see if in the near future, i can do a PT or a contract thing for a while.

my neighbor was a teacher and had twins. it didn't make financial sense for her to go back to work because with twins she would end up paying basically her entire paycheck to baby care. she also loves being a SAHM and doesn't expect to go back.

and if i was a billionaire i'd prob still like to volunteer or 'work' doing something i'd enjoy but not for $$.

 

[waterlilly]

Date: 4/13/2010 8:42:24 AM
Author: fiery

Date: 4/13/2010 8:12:52 AM

Author: waterlilly

If you don''t need the income to survive and provide a safe and healthy home I can''t see any reason for both parents to continue working. When I have a baby, my career will never be as important as my child''s wellbeing.

You may be ''losing out'' on some money, but isn''t that better than your child ''losing out'' on being raised by their mother or father?

This comment is as hurtful as HVVS''s comment on SAHMs.


You ladies with no children can certainly have your opinion and share it as you see fit, but I would chose my words wisely.


I work and so does FI but my daughter is not ''losing out'' on her mother and father. The love we have for her is not less in comparison to that of a SAHM or a SAHD. It is a very ignorant comment to make.

Thank you so much for giving me permission to have my own opinion. Why are people finding others opinions "hurtful"?? I am 100% confident in the decision my husband and I have made about how our baby will be cared for, therefore, I don''t see differing opinions as hurtful or insulting.

I''ll choose my words to answer the OP''s question with an honest answer about my opinion as I see fit. You can''t say that this is the first time you have ever encountered someone that feels this way on the subject is it?

Why is it that because people have different opinions on this subject it starts to turn into discussions about women "judging" each other? Oh, poor us.

Ignorant comment? Oh, I''m sorry - enlighten me - because I was under the impression that it would be better for my baby to be cared for by me. Is this not true? Seriously, if you''ve got information otherwise about how the daycare setting is going to be better for my baby - I am more than interested in learning about it! It would be great to continue to have 2 incomes coming in, so if this is actually a better scenario for the baby too - please share the info!

 

[fieryred33143]

Waterlily, your comment is hurtful to me because I am a mother who loves my child and who wants nothing but the best for her. When my love for her and my concern for her well being comes in to question by someone else, it hurts. Being a working mom does not mean that my daughter is cared for by someone else. She is watched over while I am working by her grandmother but my caring for her does not decrease by x amount of hours over someone who is a SAHM.

I am sure you have an idea of what it would be like to have a child in your life and I don’t doubt your ability to reflect on your experiences with other children to analyze what it would be like to have a child.

At the end of the day, however, you are not a mother so you don’t understand how hurtful those comments are. And this doesn't go to just you. HVVS was also very hurtful to the SAHMs.

And believe it or not, it hurts more to be judged by someone who is not a mother because you are basing your judgment on the stereotypical views of working mothers. The same views that force working moms to feel that they have to give it their all and that those pangs of guilt/frustration/sadness are what they deserve to suffer through for “choosing” to work.

If we lived in a society where people didn’t make mothers feel inadequate for the choices they make when it comes to their family, we wouldn’t have to spend so much time feeling defensive.

I would never judge a decision made by a mother to stay at home. I think it’s a wonderful choice. Let’s hope that when you do have a child, you can at least learn to respect and appreciate the decisions that we as mothers face on a daily basis. Children are humbling.

And no, I don't encounter this type of attitude often because I don't surround myself with people that have little respect for mothers.

 

[Mara]

" because I was under the impression that it would be better for my baby to be cared for by me. Is this not true? "

_______________

In general...just because someone is a parent does not automatically make them the best caretaker for that child. And even if they ARE the best caretaker for that child, the kid can still benefit from external care or third party influence.

One example would be other languages. We speak only English fluently even though we are both mixed. I would love our kid to have a nanny or caregiver that could speak to him in another language...whatever it may be. We don't have this skill, someone else might.

 

[janinegirly]

I thought this link was quite timely (just came out on cnn.com today). It''s more specific to mothers but some general themes which also apply here

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/04/13/mommy.mafia.jen.klein/index.html?hpt=Sbin

 

[waterlilly]

Date: 4/13/2010 2:17:15 PM
Author: fiery

Waterlily, your comment is hurtful to me because I am a mother who loves my child and who wants nothing but the best for her. When my love for her and my concern for her well being comes in to question by someone else, it hurts. Being a working mom does not mean that my daughter is cared for by someone else. She is watched over while I am working by her grandmother but my caring for her does not decrease by x amount of hours over someone who is a SAHM.

I am sure you have an idea of what it would be like to have a child in your life and I don’t doubt your ability to reflect on your experiences with other children to analyze what it would be like to have a child.

At the end of the day, however, you are not a mother so you don’t understand how hurtful those comments are. And this doesn''t go to just you. HVVS was also very hurtful to the SAHMs.

And believe it or not, it hurts more to be judged by someone who is not a mother because you are basing your judgment on the stereotypical views of working mothers. The same views that force working moms to feel that they have to give it their all and that those pangs of guilt/frustration/sadness are what they deserve to suffer through for “choosing” to work.

If we lived in a society where people didn’t make mothers feel inadequate for the choices they make when it comes to their family, we wouldn’t have to spend so much time feeling defensive.

I would never judge a decision made by a mother to stay at home. I think it’s a wonderful choice. Let’s hope that when you do have a child, you can at least learn to respect and appreciate the decisions that we as mothers face on a daily basis. Children are humbling.


And no, I don''t encounter this type of attitude often because I don''t surround myself with people that have little respect for mothers.

You are becoming far too defensive and for whatever reason taking my opinion personally. If you are doing what YOU FEEL is best for your child - great, enjoy! Why are you so upset because I do not plan on making the same decisions you are?

And now you are saying that I have little respect for mothers because I am going to choose to be a stay at home mom? What?!

In your opinion, HVVS''s words were hurtful to me - because I''m going to be one of those stay at home mom''s she is talking about. But - they are not. Why do I care what she thinks? I''m certainly not shocked by her words - LOTS of women feel that way. LOTS of women feel the way I do, LOTS feel the way you do. Stop letting other people''s opinions make you feel bad about your life decisions.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 4/13/2010 2:39:16 PM
Author: waterlilly

You are becoming far too defensive and for whatever reason taking my opinion personally. If you are doing what YOU FEEL is best for your child - great, enjoy! Why are you so upset because I do not plan on making the same decisions you are?

And now you are saying that I have little respect for mothers because I am going to choose to be a stay at home mom? What?!

In your opinion, HVVS''s words were hurtful to me - because I''m going to be one of those stay at home mom''s she is talking about. But - they are not. Why do I care what she thinks? I''m certainly not shocked by her words - LOTS of women feel that way. LOTS of women feel the way I do, LOTS feel the way you do. Stop letting other people''s opinions make you feel bad about your life decisions.

Your decision to stay at home is not why I made my first comment to you.

I was addressing your comments that working is putting a career over a child''s wellbeing and that by working, the child is losing out on being raised by the mom and dad.

I also did not say that HVVS''s comments were hurtful to you. I said it was hurtful to the SAHM and if you read back, the SAHMs did comment on the rudeness of her post.

And I don''t feel badly about my life decisions. It''s people like you that feel I should feel badly with your veiled attempt at passing your judgment in the form of an "opinion"

 

[lizzyann]

Hi Waterlily, I think the issue here is not your opinion on why you want to be a SAHM vs. a working mom. I think we all understand that everyone is entitled to their opinion on what works for them. Here is your quote from your post....

""If you don''t need the income to survive and provide a safe and healthy home I can''t see any reason for both parents to continue working. When I have a baby, my career will never be as important as my child''s wellbeing.
You may be "losing out" on some money, but isn''t that better than your child "losing out" on being raised by their mother or father?""

I think if you would have worded this differently, it would not have offended people. Maybe if you would have said something like "Myself and my hubby agree that me being a SAHM is the way to go for us.. We don''t need the extra income and can make due with only one of us working in order for me to stay home. I don''t mind putting my career on hold as being a SAHM is something i am really looking forward to. I respect working moms but for me and my hubby this is what works." By saying that for some moms, their career is more important than their childs well-being is not fair.

I am a SAHM and like I said previously, it works for my family. Everyone''s situation is different. You are definitely entitled to your opinion about what works for you and why it works for you, but when you generalized your comment, you in turn judged working moms. I am happy that you are looking forward to being a SAHM.

I just think your wording was off.

One thing that you will notice when you become a mom is that EVERYONE has an opinion on how YOU raise your kid. For example, "Oh you''re not breastfeeding still?", "oh you''re kid isn''t crawling yet?", "oh you are a SAHM, must be nice to live off of your hubby?" These are all things I have heard and that is why us moms get offended when they feel like someone is putting them down for their choices. Everyone is entitled to their own choices but I hope you can kinda see where some moms could kinda get offended by what you said.

 

[waterlilly]

Date: 4/13/2010 2:44:38 PM
Author: fiery

Date: 4/13/2010 2:39:16 PM

Author: waterlilly


You are becoming far too defensive and for whatever reason taking my opinion personally. If you are doing what YOU FEEL is best for your child - great, enjoy! Why are you so upset because I do not plan on making the same decisions you are?


And now you are saying that I have little respect for mothers because I am going to choose to be a stay at home mom? What?!


In your opinion, HVVS''s words were hurtful to me - because I''m going to be one of those stay at home mom''s she is talking about. But - they are not. Why do I care what she thinks? I''m certainly not shocked by her words - LOTS of women feel that way. LOTS of women feel the way I do, LOTS feel the way you do. Stop letting other people''s opinions make you feel bad about your life decisions.

Your decision to stay at home is not why I made my first comment to you.


I was addressing your comments that working is putting a career over a child''s wellbeing and that by working, the child is losing out on being raised by the mom and dad.


I also did not say that HVVS''s comments were hurtful to you. I said it was hurtful to the SAHM and if you read back, the SAHMs did comment on the rudeness of her post.


And I don''t feel badly about my life decisions. It''s people like you that feel I should feel badly with your veiled attempt at passing your judgment in the form of an ''opinion''

"I was addressing your comments that working is putting a career over a child''s wellbeing and that by working, the child is losing out on being raised by the mom and dad."

But - that''s how I feel, that is my exact opinion on the subject. Instead of just stating your opinion to answer the OP''s question - you decided to "address" (aka become defensive) me - call me ignorant and advise me to "choose my words wisely", then said I was disrespectful, oh - and now are accusing me of making a "veiled attempt at passing judgment".

Is this a PS discussion thread where someone is asking for opinions on a topic? Or is this a "lets all have a group hug and tiptoe around to be sure we don''t say anything that might differ from what anyone else thinks" board?

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Date: 4/13/2010 8:12:52 AM
Author: waterlilly
If you don''t need the income to survive and provide a safe and healthy home I can''t see any reason for both parents to continue working. When I have a baby, my career will never be as important as my child''s wellbeing.
You may be ''losing out'' on some money, but isn''t that better than your child ''losing out'' on being raised by their mother or father?

There are a lot of reasons why some parents continue to work outside the home, not just financial survival. Maybe you''ll find that out for yourself one day, maybe not. I wait with interest.

When you have a child, do come back and let us know how it''s going.

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 4/13/2010 3:20:32 PM
Author: waterlilly


'I was addressing your comments that working is putting a career over a child's wellbeing and that by working, the child is losing out on being raised by the mom and dad.'

By that logic shouldn't BOTH parents just quit their jobs and stay at home? Or is it somehow alright to for one parent to put their career over the child's well being in any case?

My thoughts are this...and please note I do not have children yet so this may or may not all be fluff anyway. For the record, right at this moment I do NOT have a high income...however I certainly am in a profession where my earning potential can increase a lot over the next few years. I however do not think it has as much to do with "high income" as it does with job satisfaction or just your own personal views, attitudes, experiences and so forth.

Should DH and I choose to have children, it is likely he who would stay home at least the first year or two on a mixture of paternity leave and extended leave. Just as we are able to do so with our benefits, it works better with our chosen careers and incomes, and he is eager to do so and I support that entirely. I also joke he is a "baby whisperer" and is so wonderful around children. Not that I am horrible...but he is far more of a natural.

I will state that I do not at this time foresee myself being a stay at home mom. I will never say never...and I realize I am NOT yet a parent so who knows how I will feel then...however I will say I greatly enjoy my career and find it very rewarding and enriching. I worked very hard to get here; and I currently am the main breadwinner. There are far more reasons I enjoy working over the income though. Raising children, I have no doubt, would be rewarding too, however I do not see one as mutually exclusive of the other. Maybe I will work part time at it for a while, maybe full time, maybe not at all. However, I really doubt leaving it entirely behind.

As for a more general stance, I think that each family is different and each family has to figure out what works for them. I can say that for while very early on my mother stayed at home, she was soon a single working mother and she has been working ever since. I felt benefit from both those experiences. I can go into all the pros and cons of either, and how wonderful I think my mother is because of what I was able to learn from her however it is not relevant as that was HER circumstance and MY experience as a child with THAT mother and does not apply to anyone else and I do not want any of my experiences or thoughts to come off as saying as one is better than the other, it just is not that way. So let me just say I don't see any one as being "better" than the other. They both have tremendous benefits, and some downsides as well for everyone involved. IN any case, I am incredibly proud of my mother and feel blessed that she raised me.

What is important is that it works for the family and those making those decisions. I will not even know what works for my family until I am actually in it....no matter how much I pontificate about it beforehand.

And I will absolutely not make judgments on how others choose to be a working mother, working father, stay at home mother or stay at home father...or anything in between. That is what works for THAT family and if everyone in the household is comfortable with it...it is their business and that is it. I also support flexibility that things might change. I have seen where one wants to stay at home but the family is digging deeper into debt because of it and the working parent has frustrated, stressed or resentful, and maybe the situation needs to be re-evaluated. If one is working but NEVER sees their kids during waking hours...again - maybe it needs to be re-evaluated. I have also seen it where the stay at home parent really, really wants to work again but feels bound by what they decided before they had kids - so maybe it needs to be re-evaluated. Again, I do not make judgments on this, I just wish to encourage flexibility in that just because someone might WANT something a particular way does not mean it can always work exactly that way all the time.

 

[waterlilly]

Date: 4/13/2010 3:31:59 PM
Author: Mrs Mitchell

Date: 4/13/2010 8:12:52 AM

Author: waterlilly

If you don''t need the income to survive and provide a safe and healthy home I can''t see any reason for both parents to continue working. When I have a baby, my career will never be as important as my child''s wellbeing.

You may be ''losing out'' on some money, but isn''t that better than your child ''losing out'' on being raised by their mother or father?

There are a lot of reasons why some parents continue to work outside the home, not just financial survival. Maybe you''ll find that out for yourself one day, maybe not. I wait with interest.


When you have a child, do come back and let us know how it''s going.

Yes, and my post was directly addressing the question posted - the decision to stay at home based on FINANCES. But thanks, I''m sure your post really contributed a lot to the OP''s question. Feel better?

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 4/13/2010 3:20:32 PM
Author: waterlilly

'I was addressing your comments that working is putting a career over a child's wellbeing and that by working, the child is losing out on being raised by the mom and dad.'

But - that's how I feel, that is my exact opinion on the subject. Instead of just stating your opinion to answer the OP's question - you decided to 'address' (aka become defensive) me - call me ignorant and advise me to 'choose my words wisely', then said I was disrespectful, oh - and now are accusing me of making a 'veiled attempt at passing judgment'.

Is this a PS discussion thread where someone is asking for opinions on a topic? Or is this a 'lets all have a group hug and tiptoe around to be sure we don't say anything that might differ from what anyone else thinks' board?

Waterlilly-It is obvious that we aren't communicating effectively with one another. This is not a matter of a difference of opinion. In order for you and I to have a difference of opinion, mine would have to be against being a SAHM and there is no way that I would ever feel that way.

I was just trying to get you to understand why the "losing out" comment and the assumption that mothers who choose to work are placing that over their child's wellbeing was unfair and hurtful. Perhaps when you are in the war zone, you will understand what mothers are faced with every day and why we all jump when someone else tries to question how we care for our children.

And I did address the OP's question on the first page and I managed to do so without ever forming an opinion *coughjudgmentcough* on the situations of others.

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Date: 4/13/2010 3:52:25 PM
Author: waterlilly

Date: 4/13/2010 3:31:59 PM
Author: Mrs Mitchell

Date: 4/13/2010 8:12:52 AM

Author: waterlilly

If you don''t need the income to survive and provide a safe and healthy home I can''t see any reason for both parents to continue working. When I have a baby, my career will never be as important as my child''s wellbeing.

You may be ''losing out'' on some money, but isn''t that better than your child ''losing out'' on being raised by their mother or father?

There are a lot of reasons why some parents continue to work outside the home, not just financial survival. Maybe you''ll find that out for yourself one day, maybe not. I wait with interest.


When you have a child, do come back and let us know how it''s going.

Yes, and my post was directly addressing the question posted - the decision to stay at home based on FINANCES. But thanks, I''m sure your post really contributed a lot to the OP''s question. Feel better?

I''ve already answered the OP''s question earlier in the thread, to the best of my ability and based on my own experience.

However, I hope that my last post did contribute to the OP''s question, in that while finances play a part in this decision for most people, so do other factors. The question was about high-earners, so I''m going to suggest that it is possible a high earner will have invested a great deal in their career, financially, personally and emotionally and that the decision may have to take all of that into account as well as just financial survival and a change in standard of living.

For what it''s worth, I don''t see what your post added to the OP''s question either, since it didn''t address the issue of giving up a high income versus a more modest one, while we''re being petty.