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- Jul 23, 2012
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Same. Very tacky IMOLaila619|1434942022|3892452 said:Yes, and I think it's pretty tacky, honestly. You can celebrate each baby without having a shower.
Same. Very tacky IMOLaila619|1434942022|3892452 said:Yes, and I think it's pretty tacky, honestly. You can celebrate each baby without having a shower.
Niel said:Same. Very tacky IMOLaila619|1434942022|3892452 said:Yes, and I think it's pretty tacky, honestly. You can celebrate each baby without having a shower.
missy|1435057452|3892988 said:I feel the same way about engagement parties/bachelor/bachelorette parties and wedding showers etc. While I enjoy celebrating happy occasions I don't care for excessive gift taking events. One party for gifts before the wedding is fine but 3 different parties that many people have these days before the wedding? Seems excessive.
As for baby showers I give gifts to my friends for each child whether they have a shower or not but for acquaintances? No. And to have a full baby shower complete with the gifting theme for children close in age is greedy IMO.
Celebrate by all means as each child deserves to be celebrated but leave the gift requests out please for subsequent children. In any case I don't go to showers where I am not close to the people involved and as for work showers yes that is a conundrum but I will just give a small token gift if it is for a person for whom I have attended a baby shower in the recent past.
diamondseeker2006|1434984661|3892621 said:momhappy|1434977984|3892593 said:KaeKae|1434929360|3892390 said:momhappy|1434927388|3892377 said:Do moms-to-be really have a choice in the matter? Showers are typically planned by friends and/or family, so if someone offers to throw a shower, can a mom-to-be turn down the offer and how might that be perceived? I guess that'a why I don't perceive showers for subsequent babies as an attention/gift grabby thing - because a mom-to-be doesn't throw her own shower, but rather her friends/family do.
Technically, you are right. In fact, traditional etiquette was that the mom's family should not host, either, only friends, because it is an event asking guests to bring gifts. However, if our friends and family are any indication, lately it appears that the moms-to-be are often part of the planning, so yes, she could decline the idea.
I was not aware that moms-to-be are often part of the planning process.
I guess none of this really bothers me all that much. If someone wants to host a subsequent shower (or even throw one themselves), I can choose to attend or not attend, so I don't see the big deal.
And that's the bottom line. If I know the person and care about them, I will get them a baby gift regardless of whether there is a shower for #2+ or not. I will happily attend a shower because I love them. If I am invited to a shower for a distant acquaintance (which I can't really say has ever happened) I wouldn't attend or feel obligated to give a gift.
I definitely think there is a difference today with most people finding out the sex of the baby in advance. My daughter had a girl first and was given beautiful baby girl clothing and accessories and the nursery was decorated for a girl. If she ever has a boy, she will need all new clothes. So I can absolutely see justification for a shower if the sex of the second baby is different than the first. But again, if you aren't close enough to really care about the person, just decline and forget about it!
That's funny. I feel like there's almost no party too elaborate, as long as you're being a good host. A big party for a small child's birthday, but with good food and entertainment seems like a great way to gather loved ones.smitcompton|1435329284|3894703 said:Hi,
The only time I have some doubts about a baby shower is when the mother or mother-in law throws it. Many people belong to several different social or work groups with no over-lapping guests and can have several showers. I think this is a celebration for the mother to be, even if its her second or third child. I do think I would have thought that 120 gifts for the mother to be was someone showing off. This would have annoyed me as well.
I don't see it as gift grabbing as much as all women want to feel excited at a new baby, so if her friends want to throw a small party, I think its nice. I don't care for elaborate affairs. Its just as much as puzzle to me as hiring a hall for childrens birthday parties. what happened to ice-cream and cake?
Annette
diamondseeker2006|1434947266|3892489 said:My daughter was given a "sprinkle" for her second child (same sex as the first) by her best friends. We ate at a restaurant and she was given a few gifts. Nursery was a different color and there were some things she needed. In addition, our church gives a "dipes, wipes, and swipes" (diapers, wipes, and gift cards) to welcome every new baby. I think that is helpful and appreciated by everyone.
Laila619|1435352432|3894930 said:I once got an invite to a baby shower for the second and third babies (the couple was having twin girls) two years after they already had their first daughter. The kicker was that the invite was from the mom herself! I was shocked she was throwing herself her own shower.
Jambalaya|1435426292|3895270 said:Most of my friends are single ladies, so I haven't been to many baby showers, or weddings for that matter. This thread is a surprise to me - all this etiquette I knew nothing about!
Why is it considered bad to have a shower for each child? I see it as a celebration of each baby. Why shouldn't each baby receive gifts? I understand that babies go through a lot of onesies and they don't cost much to give. Lots of other baby items are very inexpensive.
And why shouldn't the mom-to-be throw her own shower? It's her baby and she wants to celebrate it.
Seems a shame that there's so backbiting such as whispers of "tacky" behind the backs of women giving birth or getting married. Weddings and babies are joyous things. Why can't we be just be happy for everyone without the judgment.
Jambalaya|1435426292|3895270 said:Most of my friends are single ladies, so I haven't been to many baby showers, or weddings for that matter. This thread is a surprise to me - all this etiquette I knew nothing about!
Why is it considered bad to have a shower for each child? I see it as a celebration of each baby. Why shouldn't each baby receive gifts? I understand that babies go through a lot of onesies and they don't cost much to give. Lots of other baby items are very inexpensive.
And why shouldn't the mom-to-be throw her own shower? It's her baby and she wants to celebrate it.
Seems a shame that there's so backbiting such as whispers of "tacky" behind the backs of women giving birth or getting married. Weddings and babies are joyous things. Why can't we be just be happy for everyone without the judgment.
amc80|1434939175|3892437 said:Tacori E-ring said:Seems to be. Personally I don't like it unless the kids are VERY far apart. I have been to several showers where the kids are same sex and only a few years apart. What possibly could they need? I have been to a few "sprinkles" too. Not a full blown shower.
It's becoming a pet peeve of mine. We bought all gender neutral stuff even though we knew we were having a boy. It's not our friends' jobs to buy us new stuff. I've heard the argument that all babies should be celebrated. But, the entire point of a shower is presents. So celebrate the baby, but put "no gifts" on the invitation.
It's really not a celebration of the baby. There are some lovely occasions that are: dedications or baptisms in churches, sip n sees after babies are born, and then of course birthdays. They're specifically to "shower" the parents to be with gifts, to ease the burden of bringing home a new baby.Jambalaya|1435426292|3895270 said:Most of my friends are single ladies, so I haven't been to many baby showers, or weddings for that matter. This thread is a surprise to me - all this etiquette I knew nothing about!
Why is it considered bad to have a shower for each child? I see it as a celebration of each baby. Why shouldn't each baby receive gifts? I understand that babies go through a lot of onesies and they don't cost much to give. Lots of other baby items are very inexpensive.
And why shouldn't the mom-to-be throw her own shower? It's her baby and she wants to celebrate it.
Seems a shame that there's so backbiting such as whispers of "tacky" behind the backs of women giving birth or getting married. Weddings and babies are joyous things. Why can't we be just be happy for everyone without the judgment.
Jambalaya|1435588913|3896251 said:Lots of things that people do make me annoyed, but I guess having a shower for each baby isn't one of them!
liaerfbv|1435589405|3896253 said:Jambalaya|1435588913|3896251 said:Lots of things that people do make me annoyed, but I guess having a shower for each baby isn't one of them!
Just wait until every girlfriend you've ever had is on baby number 2 or 3....
MissStepcut|1435586329|3896242 said:It's really not a celebration of the baby. There are some lovely occasions that are: dedications or baptisms in churches, sip n sees after babies are born, and then of course birthdays. They're specifically to "shower" the parents to be with gifts, to ease the burden of bringing home a new baby.Jambalaya|1435426292|3895270 said:Most of my friends are single ladies, so I haven't been to many baby showers, or weddings for that matter. This thread is a surprise to me - all this etiquette I knew nothing about!
Why is it considered bad to have a shower for each child? I see it as a celebration of each baby. Why shouldn't each baby receive gifts? I understand that babies go through a lot of onesies and they don't cost much to give. Lots of other baby items are very inexpensive.
And why shouldn't the mom-to-be throw her own shower? It's her baby and she wants to celebrate it.
Seems a shame that there's so backbiting such as whispers of "tacky" behind the backs of women giving birth or getting married. Weddings and babies are joyous things. Why can't we be just be happy for everyone without the judgment.
There are lots of occasions for celebration in life, but if a person gets a promotion, gets engaged, gets into grad school, we would all agree they shouldn't throw themselves a "shower" to celebrate, which is by definition a call to give gifts.