Is anyone else really disturbed about the idea of a Bachelor Party?

[windy1365]

He does know how I feel about it. I don''t care if he looks at **** every now and then as long as he isn''t obsessed with it.

 

[Caribou]

My fiance and I had the bachelor/bachelorette talk. He told me that he''d be upset if there was a stripper at my party. I don''t find anything appealing about male strippers....I think it''s rather weird so he doesn''t need to worry about it. I don''t know how I''d feel about him having a female stripper at his. I totally trust him so I don''t think it would totally bother me...I think it would actually bother him more if his friends got him a stripper.

I have heard some horror stories about bachelor parties though!

I can see why we (women) get upset by the thought of a bachelor party.

 

[caligal]

This is funny because I always just assumed my fiance would have a stripper and bachelor party- and I really didn''t have any probs with it! But- he''s told me stories of what he''s seen at other parties and he doesn''t want one at all- hates them. He wants a joint couples shower. Now to convince our friends when it''s time- since they will be the ones who want the strippers!

 

[AmberWaves]

My BF doesn''t like strippers, according to him, he''s seen enough- had seen enough before we even got together. My concern is his idiot friends. I mean, he has some great friends, but he also has some friends who don''t have wives, girlfriends, or much family, and even though they are in their thirties- still think they''re just 18, and fool around all the time. And my BF is easily persuaded when it comes to those idiots. They want to go to Vegas, and I told him- if they did go, I''m going right on his heels, with my girlfriends.

 

[Erin]

Funny this has resurfaced

I''ve always imagined the guy be excited, "Honey, I can''t believe we''re getting married in eight days! You''re the love of my life and I can''t wait to grow old with you, have beautiful children, you''re my best friend and I love you so much. I can''t imagine my life without you. So to celebrate, let me get drunk with the guys and watch sexy women take their clothes off for my pleasure (and our money) and then we''ll be all set for next weekend. Great!"

 

[lovemybug]

i agree 100% with starset princess. i personally don''t like strip clubs and my husband didn''t go to one for his bachelor party. but even if you don''t have a problem with them, why go the night or weekend before your wedding when he''s supposed to be thinking about you, but is instead looking at naked randoms?

 

[monarch64]

I agree with AmberWaves: it''s usually the single friends of the groom who are most interested in the stripper thing. I was a little freaked out when my husband went to a few bachelor parties for friends before we were married, but we lived together and he always came home at a decent hour, not smelling like skanky stripper, just of booze, so I had a chance to develop some trust in that area before he had his own bachelor party, including a trip to the strip club. He wouldn''t have been very happy with me if I had chosen to have strippers at my bachelorette party, but I don''t care for male strippers anyway and made sure my MOH understood that when planning the whole thing.

There is a lot of good advice on here so far, and to add my .02 I would say to tell your fiance that you are trusting him to make good decisions no matter what kind of pressure his friends put on him, and whatever fantasies he has about strippers he gets to look at, he can think about all the years of excitement and fun you will have together as a married couple. What man in his right mind would throw that away on some (insert dirty adjective) stripper? It doesn''t do any good not to treat him as a trustworthy person and give him a guilt trip about it. That will only begin building a wall of distrust between you.

Good luck!

 

[VuittonGal]

Nah, I''m not disturbed by the bachelor party idea. I know my fiance will have one and I''ll have a bachelorette party. We''ll drink and be silly, but we trust each other completely.

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Date: 12/23/2005 11:27:57 AM
Author: VuittonGal
Nah, I''m not disturbed by the bachelor party idea. I know my fiance will have one and I''ll have a bachelorette party. We''ll drink and be silly, but we trust each other completely.

I''m with VuittonGal.

 

[Mara]

Date: 12/23/2005 12:44:16 PM
Author: ChargerGrrl

Date: 12/23/2005 11:27:57 AM
Author: VuittonGal
Nah, I'm not disturbed by the bachelor party idea. I know my fiance will have one and I'll have a bachelorette party. We'll drink and be silly, but we trust each other completely.

I'm with VuittonGal.

Me Three...

Greg went out with the guys to SF and they had a great steak dinner and got pretty drunk, MEANT to go to the strip club and then just kept going to bars until they decided to come home....Us gals had decided to have an informal thing too where we had dinner at a nice restaurant, then came back to my gal friend's house and she made us specialty drinks...well the guys show up at 1am and the whole thing was hilarious, everyone ends up passing out and Greg was SOOO sick the next day we couldn't leave my friend's house til 6pm that night because he couldn't be in a car. It's the funniest story ever!!

The guys now STILL remind him that they still have to go to the strip club, I say GO FOR IT.

Honestly...my bottom line is that if a guy will cheat, he will...with or without threats or reminders or this or that from their significant other. There is temptation all over the place out there in the big, bad world, and office affairs are FAR more prevalent than the hubby to be getting it on with the stripper..so if you really want to worry, worry about the gals in his office.

I don't agree with that whole 'I trust you but not the other people'...well if you trust your significant other then that's all that matters. My ex used to give me that line when guys checked me out or talked to me and it drove me insane. I love that Greg is not jealous and I am not at all either, I am flattered by people who find him attractive and vice versa....I think part of it is knowing that the grass is NOT always greener out there. What you have has to be enough.

 

[peonygirl]

I personally wouldn''t feel worried about any scandalous stuff going on between my SO and the stripper for the reasons that people have already mentioned, but I think it''s a bizarre and just plain offensive thing to do to celebrate a wedding. It just adds a tawdry element to a comittment I take very seriously.

So oddly enough I don''t think I would have a problem with something like an occasional porographic magazine or video, I would definitely be upset if my SO had a stripper to mark the end of his bachelorhood. Luckily Ian says he doesn''t want to have a bachelor party at all, but I''m going to encourage him to go to dinner with friends or something.

 

[blodthecat]

Hi,

I completely understand how you feel about this. A good start to you wedding life together is to be completely honest with each other.

Talk to him calmly, and tell him what you are worried about. Ask him how he would feel, if he was in your situation?

You might even find that it isn''t something that he isn''t particularly keen on!

I will be completely honest with you, I would tell my partner exactly how i felt. Start your mairred life being open and honest with each other, and having consideration for each others feeling....and you won''t go far wrong.

What is more important to him? Your feelings or his buddies?

Blod

 

[blodthecat]

Date: 12/22/2005 2:25:58 PM
Author: caligal
This is funny because I always just assumed my fiance would have a stripper and bachelor party- and I really didn''t have any probs with it! But- he''s told me stories of what he''s seen at other parties and he doesn''t want one at all- hates them. He wants a joint couples shower. Now to convince our friends when it''s time- since they will be the ones who want the strippers!

A joint couples shower

But why would you want to get mairred and ''comit'' to one person, if you still want to mess around with others!

Blod

 

[larussel03]

Date: 12/24/2005 5:42:01 PM
Author: Mara

Date: 12/23/2005 12:44:16 PM
Author: ChargerGrrl

Date: 12/23/2005 11:27:57 AM
Author: VuittonGal
Nah, I''m not disturbed by the bachelor party idea. I know my fiance will have one and I''ll have a bachelorette party. We''ll drink and be silly, but we trust each other completely.

I''m with VuittonGal.

Me Three...

Ditto, I''m not worried b/c even if my bf had a party with a stripper, he''s not the kinda guy to actually do anything with her besides watch her strip. Big deal. I''ve seen some of these female strippers, and I def know I have nothing to worry about

I''ve been to parties with male strippers before, and it was just a bunch of gals laughing, and that almost uncomfortable-ness and absurdity was what made it fun. What I found wierder was this guy comes in, does his little strip show thing, with his bodyguard (big guy) there watching. Bizarre...

 

[goldengirl]

Nah, I''m not bothered by it. With my ex, I really would have been, but my relationship dynamic is very different with Kyle. I trust him. And I know that the stripper would really be more for his friends than for him.

But I do like the idea of bride and groom celebrating the same night and then meeting up for one big hoopla!

 

[gingerBcookie]

Yes and no I guess. I trust my FI 100% and know he''s not into the stripper thing and it would be mostly for his friends. But I KNOW there will be strippers because his bestman is planning the bach party in LAs Vegas

. THat makes it worse for me just thinking of the atmosphere there and the craziness that goes on. Weird but I feel better with Houston strippers, but whatever

. It does bother me the thought of him seeing strippers and all that, but more cuz I''m slightly possesive and the thought of him enjoying the sight of another girl who is purposely trying to turn him on, well that''s just no fun for me. Whatever though. I trust him to not do something stupid.

 

[nytemist]

When we get married, my BF will have a bachelor party with other guys friends we know and it will involve strip clubs. I could care less. I trust him because although he likes to look, he wouldn''t dare to go after a dancer, even if egged on by the guys. Why? He''d be the first one to say ''eww... I don''t know what they''ve been doing. I''m not getting that close." (not saying that all dancers are nasty, but you get what I mean)

But I''m also the odd girl out. Clubs don''t bother me. BF and I have been to many together. Some clubs around Mass. have special couples free nights, or couples always get in free. in NY, some offer 2-for-1 drinks for couples. At my age, the girls don''t make me insecure, if anything my jaw drops watching them do pole tricks that I would love to know how to do. Usually, we will leave a club and he will say ''that was ok, but not enough dancers built like you.'' Always makes me smile.

Now, disrepect is a whole other story. (cat-calling and all that) BF doesn''t do that to me at all. It''s interesting to watch just how well-behaved and respectful men act in a club toward the dancers. If anything, he gets more attention from them because I''m there with him. Other guys have come up to me BF and said ''that''s a cool girl you''ve got there. I personally don''t know anyone who has gone to hotel party with dancers, so I have no idea how that can be. Men like to look- they''re very visual. They could be married to Pam Anderson look-a-like and still like to look at a different pair of boobs. I agree with Mara- if a man gets to the point of temptation, it doesn''t matter what the enviroment is.

 

[kanne]

Erin

so true.



lovey