Incorporating a sentimental diamond into engagement ring setting (that is *not* the center stone)

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

Yet another thread in which I ask for help with my engagement ring!

Have any of you incorporated a sentimental stone (that is not a family diamond/heirloom e-ring) into your engagement ring?

For some context: I lost my mom a couple months ago. She was an exemplary wife, mother, and lover of bling, so I want to find some small way to honor and remember her with my e-ring design. My boyfriend and I credit much of our relationship success (and frankly its continued existence!) to her, so it feels appropriate to both of us.

The diamond I’d like to use is a small (maybe ~2x4mm?) baguette. It was originally from my mom’s tennis bracelet, which she wore 24/7 for as long as I can remember. She had the bracelet shortened about 10 years ago, and set the 2 stones they removed into simple stud earrings for me as a birthday gift. Being in my early 20s and a bit of an idiot, I lost one of the earrings in short order. When my (very indulgent) mom found out, she shortened the bracelet yet again to have a replacement earring made. Which...I also lost. All these years later, its lonely mate is still sitting in my jewelry box, waiting for its next jewelry incarnation.

My boyfriend has already purchased the center stone for my e-ring (thanks to PS!). It’s a 3.75ct G VS1 emerald cut from Jon/Rhino. I initially wanted to do a 5 stone ring with graduated baguettes, but unfortunately that style doesn’t work well with this diamond and my finger size (4). When I showed my friend a CAD rendering of it on a size 4 hand, her only comment was “I’m Rick James, bitch!” It’s just too much ring for me, is my point.

I toyed around with doing a 3 stone with (vertical) baguettes, but the baguette in question is a little too small in proportion to the EC. Here’s a photo of the two stones together (forgive me, the baguette needs a bath and I need a manicure):




The options I’m considering now:

1. Double band solitaire with 3/4 eternity east-west baguettes (either channel or bar set). I’ve attached a pic of Jessica McCormack ring as an example, although it has a square EC and I wouldn’t do a bezel.
2. Something asymmetrical and a little funky. A spiral band with an accent baguette next to the EC? Some kind of toi et mini moi? I don’t know exactly what. I’ll try to upload some inspo pics/sketches later this weekend.
3. Setting the baguette somewhere “hidden.” Maybe gypsy set in the back/bottom of the band so there’s a little sparkle when I wave, or set somewhere on the head where only I’d see it. (That said, I don’t like the idea of doing a “secret stone” where it’s *totally* hidden on the inside of the band — even if the baguette is in an inconspicuous spot, I’d still want it to be physically possible to see it without taking the ring off my finger.)

What do you guys think? Have you done something similar, or have any thoughts on how you’d do it? I’d love any and all ideas!

 

[heididdl]

imped it inside the band hidden....sort of like Roberto coin pieces they have a hidden ruby inside each piece ill see if I can find an example

 

[bludiva]

What a sweet sentiment. Could you set it into the basket? Or perhaps in your wedding band?

 

[distracts]

When I showed my friend a CAD rendering of it on a size 4 hand, her only comment was “I’m Rick James, bitch!” It’s just too much ring for me, is my point.

I agree that perhaps setting it into the basket, or else in the wedding band, is the way to go. If you are using other baguettes, I guess the issue becomes if you want to be able to easily tell which one is the original baguette.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I love the east west, asymmetrical and hidden gem ideas

its a really lovelly way to honour your mum and also that one remaining baguette

 

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

I agree that perhaps setting it into the basket, or else in the wedding band, is the way to go. If you are using other baguettes, I guess the issue becomes if you want to be able to easily tell which one is the original baguette.

I probably won’t stack my e-ring with a wedding band (would wear one or the other depending on the situation), and I already have a band in mind that doesn’t suit baguette diamonds.

If I use other baguettes (for example in a 1/2-3/4-full eternity), I’ve considered having all the other baguettes be slightly shorter or longer than my mom’s baguette so that I can easily identify it. Maybe this will look terrible instead of charming though, haha.

I do like the idea of setting it into the basket (facing me)! I honestly don’t know enough about the nitty gritty of mountings to know what this might look like in practice, but I’ll do some PS research!

 

[lulu_ma]

So sorry to hear about your mom. I just saw this ring and it reminded me of your original dream ring. The larger baguettes seem to be a similar size to the baguette you are trying incorporate. I wonder if the tiered design would work with your small finger size?

 

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

imped it inside the band hidden....sort of like Roberto coin pieces they have a hidden ruby inside each piece ill see if I can find an example

My mom was a Roberto Coin fan, so this feels appropriate! I also have a teeny baby emerald from my late grandmother’s ring, so maybe I could tuck that in there, also. Nana had a great love story, too — there’s more than one family photo where you can spot her and Bumpa making out behind the drapes in the background. Having both stones in my e-ring appeals to a sentimental fool like me!

 

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

So sorry to hear about your mom. I just saw this ring and it reminded me of your original dream ring. The larger baguettes seem to be a similar size to the baguette you are trying incorporate. I wonder if the tiered design would work with your small finger size?

Thank you for this pic! Definitely less of a Super Bowl ring than my original idea.

 

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

What a sweet sentiment. Could you set it into the basket? Or perhaps in your wedding band?

I think setting it into the basket is one of my best options. Maybe on the south end so it’s facing me? The only concern I’d have: would it require a much thicker/more substantial hunk of metal around the center stone? Does that even matter? I am so clueless when it comes to even the basics of mountings — baskets, peg heads, cathedrals, gallery rails, hidden halos, wraps, donuts... never something I thought about until like 2 weeks ago!

 

[Diamond Girl 21]

I love that you want to include this diamond to honor your mom. I would discuss design options with the person who will be making your setting. Let them know what you're thinking, and they may take your idea to another level.

 

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

Here are some examples of option #2 — close but definitely no cigars:

 

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

I love that you want to include this diamond to honor your mom. I would discuss design options with the person who will be making your setting. Let them know what you're thinking, and they may take your idea to another level.

That would be ideal. The only catch is that my boyfriend is pretty set on using a particular vendor (Good Stone Inc), mostly because the guy seems like someone he’d like to grab a beer with. I’m not super confident in them as designers — it seems like their repertoire doesn’t extend beyond that Ring Concierge/Instagram aesthetic (sizable rocks, 1.5mm shanks, claw prongs, massive eternity bands). But maybe I’m selling them short! I’ll see what they have to say — they have to be better at it than yours truly.

ETA: glad you like the general idea of incorporating the diamond! I told my little sister about my plans and now she wants to do something similar. We’ve been joking about how we are weirdos who want to marry our mom.

 

[ksluice]

Here are some examples of option #2 — close but definitely no cigars:

I love these options! I feel like the top options are more whimsical, and the bottom one more contemporary. I really like the bezel option for the open ring as it feels nice a sturdy on the open design. What are your thoughts about bezel versus prong set?

 

[Diamond Girl 21]

That would be ideal. The only catch is that my boyfriend is pretty set on using a particular vendor (Good Stone Inc), mostly because the guy seems like someone he’d like to grab a beer with. I’m not super confident in them as designers — it seems like their repertoire doesn’t extend beyond that Ring Concierge/Instagram aesthetic (sizable rocks, 1.5mm shanks, claw prongs, massive eternity bands). But maybe I’m selling them short! I’ll see what they have to say — they have to be better at it than yours truly.

ETA: glad you like the general idea of incorporating the diamond! I told my little sister about my plans and now she wants to do something similar. We’ve been joking about how we are weirdos who want to marry our mom.

I love the options you provided. Very pretty. Fingers crossed the jeweler will do a great job for you.

 

[heididdl]

My mom was a Roberto Coin fan, so this feels appropriate! I also have a teeny baby emerald from my late grandmother’s ring, so maybe I could tuck that in there, also. Nana had a great love story, too — there’s more than one family photo where you can spot her and Bumpa making out behind the drapes in the background. Having both stones in my e-ring appeals to a sentimental fool like me!

Meant to be sounds great

 

[distracts]

Here are some examples of option #2 — close but definitely no cigars:

So my thought if you go with something like this is that it is VERY trendy and in 10-20 years will definitely date your ring as 2020ish. If you ever looked at a heavy gold engagement ring from the 80s and thought "yuck" then I think going with something this trendy isn't the way to go. But maybe you don't mind.

That would be ideal. The only catch is that my boyfriend is pretty set on using a particular vendor (Good Stone Inc), mostly because the guy seems like someone he’d like to grab a beer with. I’m not super confident in them as designers — it seems like their repertoire doesn’t extend beyond that Ring Concierge/Instagram aesthetic (sizable rocks, 1.5mm shanks, claw prongs, massive eternity bands). But maybe I’m selling them short! I’ll see what they have to say — they have to be better at it than yours truly.

ETA: glad you like the general idea of incorporating the diamond! I told my little sister about my plans and now she wants to do something similar. We’ve been joking about how we are weirdos who want to marry our mom.

Is that the aesthetic you want? If not, I would go with a different vendor. Personality clicking is a factor in choosing a vendor, yes, but whether they can execute the design you want and are the style of vendor you want to work with are THE most important factors.

 

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

So my thought if you go with something like this is that it is VERY trendy and in 10-20 years will definitely date your ring as 2020ish. If you ever looked at a heavy gold engagement ring from the 80s and thought "yuck" then I think going with something this trendy isn't the way to go. But maybe you don't mind.

Is that the aesthetic you want? If not, I would go with a different vendor. Personality clicking is a factor in choosing a vendor, yes, but whether they can execute the design you want and are the style of vendor you want to work with are THE most important factors.

I actually have a lot of love for super chunky 1980s Charles Krypell, haha. But yes, the above styles are absolutely trendy and will look dated inside of a decade — no doubt about it. Princess cuts : 2000 :: these rings : 2020. I’m sure my opinion of them down the road will be similar to Leon Mege’s opinion of trilliants (per his delightfully snarky guide to side stones: “Wildly popular in the acid haze of the '60s and '70s, trilliants look dated and mildly tasteless today.”).

All that said, I plan to upgrade to a Liz Taylor level setting in the next 10-15 years, once big honkin’ side stones feel more age and lifestyle appropriate. I am a little concerned that I’ll get sick of looking at a ring like this long before that time comes, though.

And I know you are totally right about choosing a vendor based on their aesthetic and craftsmanship, and not based on good vibes alone. My poor boy hasn’t really had the opportunity to “own” any part of this process so far (I’ve been a complete control freak and shameless obsessive), so I thought I should throw him a bone...

Frankly, I’ve felt completely overwhelmed by the endless vendor options. I really would love a more design-led ring, rather than just a rock on a wire (which is what my guy gravitates towards). But sadly I am no designer, and it seems like there aren’t a ton of good options when it comes to vendors who are 1) in budget (<$6k for setting), and 2) willing to set a (non-heirloom) stone that we purchased elsewhere.

(Sorry to be such a whiner!)

 

[distracts]

I actually have a lot of love for super chunky 1980s Charles Krypell, haha. But yes, the above styles are absolutely trendy and will look dated inside of a decade — no doubt about it. Princess cuts : 2000 :: these rings : 2020. I’m sure my opinion of them down the road will be similar to Leon Mege’s opinion of trilliants (per his delightfully snarky guide to side stones: “Wildly popular in the acid haze of the '60s and '70s, trilliants look dated and mildly tasteless today.”).

All that said, I plan to upgrade to a Liz Taylor level setting in the next 10-15 years, once big honkin’ side stones feel more age and lifestyle appropriate. I am a little concerned that I’ll get sick of looking at a ring like this long before that time comes, though.

And I know you are totally right about choosing a vendor based on their aesthetic and craftsmanship, and not based on good vibes alone. My poor boy hasn’t really had the opportunity to “own” any part of this process so far (I’ve been a complete control freak and shameless obsessive), so I thought I should throw him a bone...

Frankly, I’ve felt completely overwhelmed by the endless vendor options. I really would love a more design-led ring, rather than just a rock on a wire (which is what my guy gravitates towards). But sadly I am no designer, and it seems like there aren’t a ton of good options when it comes to vendors who are 1) in budget (<$6k for setting), and 2) willing to set a (non-heirloom) stone that we purchased elsewhere.

(Sorry to be such a whiner!)

From everything you're saying it really sounds like you don't want anything that would be more than $6k? I don't know what kind of thing you want buy have you contacted Caysie Van Bebber? She is a great designer and could definitely come up with a way to use your baguette. I'm specifically not recommending David Klass, another forum fave (who I have gone with multiple times) ONLY because I think you want someone who is going to do more of the designing for you... he's really better if you already have a fully-formed idea, I think.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I really wouldn't do anything like those last photos. I definitely do not think it can work being set in the basket. It's too big for that. And I think it is too small to bezel it and a match on each side. I'd try to incorporate it into something else such as a pendant that you could wear at your wedding, but you'd still end up having to buy more stones to accomplish that.

Please go with a ring maker who has experience and a proven track record. We can name several good ones. I'd never use a ringmaker who often makes shanks that are 1.5mm. That's not going to last long term.

I am terribly sorry about the loss of your mother.

 

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

From everything you're saying it really sounds like you don't want anything that would be more than $6k? I don't know what kind of thing you want buy have you contacted Caysie Van Bebber? She is a great designer and could definitely come up with a way to use your baguette. I'm specifically not recommending David Klass, another forum fave (who I have gone with multiple times) ONLY because I think you want someone who is going to do more of the designing for you... he's really better if you already have a fully-formed idea, I think.

Yeah, I think we’re trying to keep it between $4-6k for the setting. Might be able to go over $6k if it’s something really special. I have no idea if that’s considered an ample enough budget or totally bargain basement, as this will be my first custom piece, but it is what it is!

And thank you for your recommendations. That’s the impression I’ve gotten about Klass. I’ve been in touch with CVB over the last couple weeks but communication has been spotty. I’m not sure we have the luxury of time that seems to be a requirement of working with her, but I’ll try bugging her again tomorrow!

 

[distracts]

Yeah, I think we’re trying to keep it between $4-6k for the setting. Might be able to go over $6k if it’s something really special. I have no idea if that’s considered an ample enough budget or totally bargain basement, as this will be my first custom piece, but it is what it is!

And thank you for your recommendations. That’s the impression I’ve gotten about Klass. I’ve been in touch with CVB over the last couple weeks but communication has been spotty. I’m not sure we have the luxury of time that seems to be a requirement of working with her, but I’ll try bugging her again tomorrow!

I think 6k is absolutely more than enough for a custom budget unless you’re trying to have large side diamonds or a whole lot of custom cut side stones. If you do a baguette eternity you may come close, because my recollection is that baguettes tend to be a little more expensive for some reason, but the solution to that would be to just get them halfway around or something.

 

[petrock<3]

Yeah, I think we’re trying to keep it between $4-6k for the setting. Might be able to go over $6k if it’s something really special. I have no idea if that’s considered an ample enough budget or totally bargain basement, as this will be my first custom piece, but it is what it is!

And thank you for your recommendations. That’s the impression I’ve gotten about Klass. I’ve been in touch with CVB over the last couple weeks but communication has been spotty. I’m not sure we have the luxury of time that seems to be a requirement of working with her, but I’ll try bugging her again tomorrow!

I was going to recommend CVB as well. She does such incredible detailed work, I’m sure she can figure out an elegant way to showcase this stone. Such as very cool side view just for you. But not overtaking the design from a distance. She’s going to be making two rings for me can’t wait!

Also I would recommend Steven Kirsch. He could easily do something amazing in that budget. He too does very fine detailed work. I say that because you don’t want that baguette swallowed by clunky metal and subpar design work. You have a great budget for the best! It truly makes a difference especially with a detail like this. (He made me an immaculate setting and was wonderful to work with)

Looking forward to seeing what happens!

 

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

I really wouldn't do anything like those last photos. I definitely do not think it can work being set in the basket. It's too big for that. And I think it is too small to bezel it and a match on each side. I'd try to incorporate it into something else such as a pendant that you could wear at your wedding, but you'd still end up having to buy more stones to accomplish that.

Please go with a ring maker who has experience and a proven track record. We can name several good ones. I'd never use a ringmaker who often makes shanks that are 1.5mm. That's not going to last long term.

I am terribly sorry about the loss of your mother.

Thank you for the kind words, and I appreciate the honesty in your opening sentence! Taking it to heart.

And, yes, I cringed a little when the vendor in question bragged that they are known for their 1.25mm (!!!) shanks. I checked the FAQ on their site and naturally they only offer a 60 day guarantee on their rings...

I’m not much of a necklace person, but if I really can’t figure out a way to incorporate the diamond into my e-ring, I may use it for a super simple everyday bangle/cuff to stack with a Juste un Clou or Messika bracelet.

Really appreciate you all taking the time to give me a reality check on this stuff. I get ideas stuck in my head sometimes, and can’t always get them unstuck on my own!

 

[dk168]

Sorry for your loss.

If the baguette was mine, I would probably incorporate it into some sort of dainty ID type bracelet, off set to one side of a small disk of a chosen shape that can be engraved.

Or make it into a starter charm as part of a charm bracelet for more charms to be added as you progress through the significant events of your life.

Have a look at the two charm bracelets owned and worn by the Duchess of Windsor. One is make with crosses and I can't remember the make up of the other.

Very sentimental and personal, and easily customised to suit.

DK

 

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

I was going to recommend CVB as well. She does such incredible detailed work, I’m sure she can figure out an elegant way to showcase this stone. Such as very cool side view just for you. But not overtaking the design from a distance. She’s going to be making two rings for me can’t wait!

Also I would recommend Steven Kirsch. He could easily do something amazing in that budget. He too does very fine detailed work. I say that because you don’t want that baguette swallowed by clunky metal and subpar design work. You have a great budget for the best! It truly makes a difference especially with a detail like this. (He made me an immaculate setting and was wonderful to work with)

Looking forward to seeing what happens!

Just shot CVB another message! Wish me luck. I was initially hesitant about going with her because she does a lot of super ornate, vaguely Edwardian pieces which is not my bag, but I only hear wonderful things about her craftsmanship! When I sent her a bunch of my totally disconnected and poorly articulated ideas/wants, she said “literally if it’s physically feasible, I can create it ”. That’s the spirit! Looking forward to seeing your two rings from her when you get them!

And thank you for the Steven Kirsch recommendation. I hadn’t looked at his work before. I am too particular for my own good (someone really needs to confiscate my loupe) — everyone’s excellent suggestions should save me a lot of heartache in the long run. Now I just need to figure out how to convince the beau to abandon the Good Stone ship.

 

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

Sorry for your loss.

If the baguette was mine, I would probably incorporate it into some sort of dainty ID type bracelet, off set to one side of a small disk of a chosen shape that can be engraved.

Or make it into a starter charm as part of a charm bracelet for more charms to be added as you progress through the significant events of your life.

Have a look at the two charm bracelets owned and worn by the Duchess of Windsor. One is make with crosses and I can't remember the make up of the other.

Very sentimental and personal, and easily customised to suit.

DK

Thank you, DK. The ID bracelet idea is very sweet, and it wouldn’t have occurred to me. I will do some googling to see if anything catches my eye!

I am a huge fan of charm bracelets, as was my mom. I hesitate to start my own because I am inheriting both of hers, along with the couple dozen loose vintage and custom charms she couldn’t fit on the bracelets. (My dad has a bit of a 1stdibs addiction, so she wound up with at least 2-3 new charms a year.) The bracelets won’t be passed onto me in the immediate future, though, as I clearly can’t be trusted with jewelry after losing those 2 baguette studs (and then some...).

I’ve attached a few (admittedly terrible) photos of her bracelets, as I’m feeling a little self-indulgent tonight. The larger one originally belonged to my grandmother, but there’s a mix of mom’s and grandma’s charms on there.

Anyway, I really appreciate all the ideas and your thoughtful reply! I’ll have to think on it — I’ve got a coffee table book dedicated to charms that I’ll flip through for some inspiration. In the meantime, if you have any recommendations for someone who makes great (ideally old school) custom charms, I’m all ears!

Thanks again for humoring me and this eulogy of a thread!

 

[dk168]

@Mary Queen of Scotch very bold charm bracelets indeed!

Here is the thread on a gent's chunky ID bracelet with an oval intense blue diamond to give you an idea, and I have found loads of examples by using "ID bracelet with gemstone" as search words using Google.

gregchang35's ID bracelet

Why not start a charm bracelet of your own?

As for a suitable bench, David Klass comes highly recommended on this board.

I made my own using WG chain, findings and ready made charms from Bella Findings in LA, and attached the charms to the bracelet using WG split rings. The only issue I have is that some of the components were not Rhodium-plated, otherwise I like my bracelet.

DK

 

[Niel]

I would love it in a ring I don’t think it’s too small to be a vertical baguette if the center stone is set east west

 

[Niel]