I'm very very upset...

[peach_tea_for_me]

I'm sorry you're feeling down about this Beezy. I'm a glass half full girl, so I'm hoping that he had this response to throw you off. Maybe he has a surprise proposal in mind for your anniversay this weekend and by shooting down the wedding talk in that moment he was able to keep you on your toes. I'll keep my fingers crossed that that's what's going on here!

I think the girls that mentioned waiting till you are formally engaged before talking about things might be onto something as well. Guys are so different than we are and wedding talk is not usually their favorite topic.

I hope you have a wonderful anniversary and I hope there is that special surprise waiting for you! Have a great day and don't let this get you down. I'm an over thinker too, but try to shake it.

 

[beezygal]

Thanks for all the posts ladies. I'm going to try to respond to everything in one post.

My bf and I are both Chinese. I have very traditional parents. His not so much. I know it makes sense for my dad/me to pay for the banquet in HK since it is mostly for my family. Honestly, I don't really care about the banquet in HK. I grew up in Canada. I consider Canada my home. All my friends are here, I did all my education here. I do want to go back to HK for a banquet, because there are people I want to invite. For example, I want to invite my close family members and people who moved back to HK from Canada. My parents are thinking of a banquet of 10 tables, approx. 120 ppl. I was thinking about 50 people max. OMG! Half of the people there I probably don't know. I don't really want to invite "strangers" to my wedding and paid for their dinner. I don't want to sound rude. My parents said "you probably don't need to 'pay' for the banquet at the end because the money you get from ppl might help pay the banquet. Sometimes you might earn some extra money." Chinese ppl give cash in red envelope as wedding gifts. Most of them are my parents' friends. Some of them saw me when I was a little baby or something (that's what my dad told me). My dad is a very traditional Chinese man. He wants to look good because I'm his only child. He already know out budget and might not invite as much. Of course he'll just say "I'll pay for the whole thing." I really don't want him to.

The plan for the wedding is, my bf and I will pay for it. Budget is around $20k CDN (including 1 ceremony, 2 banquets). I'm a piano teacher. I teach full-time 6 days a week. I have been saving up money for the wedding/downpayment. He'll pay a bit more for the wedding, so won't equally divide everything. According to some tradition, there's something the groom HAS TO PAY for. I feel like I'm in the middle between my bf and my parents. I guess we'll discuss this after we're engaged.

We kinda talked about planning stuff before we're engaged. He was ok with it. He always think it doesn't take too long to plan a wedding. He was like that with buying a diamond too. We missed out on so many diamonds because he thinks the diamonds will just wait for him. He thinks no a lot of people will buy them. After awhile, he decided to just get the one we got so that we won't miss out anymore. I think he'll be like this with venues and stuff. I want to be married by the end of 2011 or early 2012. For him, he doesn't really care when exactly. He said when we planned everything and booked everything, we'll get married.

 

[merbear1215]

Ohh hunnie, I feel so sorry for you!

In my opinion, I think he may just be stressed out. As you already know I do NOT think it is any problem to start planning your wedding if you know that it is coming! Think about it, venues go fast! I do not know when you planned on having your wedding but I know, in my area, September and October, well, there is only 1 weekend open in each month at every place I look at! Scary!

As for the money. I see where your boyfriend is coming from. Money can be tight even if your family is paying for the one reception. You also have to think about the cost of flying to add into it. But, I do definitely know that we want our day to be as perfect as possible. It'll happen. Who knows, maybe he is under pressure because the engagement is coming soon. My boyfriend acted like that, oh I would say about 3 weeks ago. He said "Babe, were not even engaged don't worry about that stuff yet." I kindly responded, "Venues get booked VERY fast. I do not want to be stuck in a boat where we can't get anything. The venue we like is affordable and we can afford the down payment. However, there is only one weekend left in September and one weekend left in October! :\ " He really truly just did not understand how fast these places go. I said I would put on hold other things like reception ideas (secretly I am doing this on the side hehe) And he ended up being perfectly fine with it. He has attended all venues I had meetings with and has thrown out his own ideas for a wedding and things he wants to incorporate. Actually, he has some really great ideas!!!

Everything will be fine sweeetie!!

Praying for you for Saturday!!

My fiance never wanted a long engagement (ours will only be 6 months). He said when he proposed it meant he was ready to get married right then, at any place. He doesn't see engagement as a period to prepare for marriage mentally, or whatever. Anyway he goes "I really don't understand why it should take any more than a week to plan a wedding" Um, yeah, you probably dont understand....since you aren't doing any of the planning

 

[beezygal]

update;

I just talked to my bf briefly over the phone. I wanted to hang out tonight. He said he's busy but his tone of voice is back to normal. He was making jokes and stuff. He's not upset or mad anymore. I'm glad. We'll hang out tomorrow night even though he'll have to work late tomorrow also. I will stop talking about wedding stuff. Obviously he's very very busy at work this week. He is probably stressed out. I'm going to make cookies and look pretty for our anniversary on Sat.

Thanks for all your advices! *HUGS* You guys are the best!!! LOVE YA ALL!

 

[dawnabee]

Sorry I missed the convo already but here are some more hugs**** hope you are feeling better! I get the same reaction from my BF when I talk about starting to figure out what we are going to do for the wedding. Its because they are still in proposal mode and stressed out... I understand its a lot of pressure and change at once. So just take it as it comes and wait for when he is in a better mood and mind frame Dont worry yourself!!

 

[beezygal]

thanks dawn! I love hugs! I'm glad to hear it's normal that my bf is acting like this.

 

[Jessie702]

Yay Congrats BG..... im so happy. ***********HUGS************** More hugs comming

 

[beezygal]

Thanks Jessie. *HUGS* I'm overwhelmed with all the hugs today.

 

[Jessie702]

LoL....when you ask for Hugs and dust, we spend it in!!

 

[kagordo4]

aw, honey, I'm sorry.

Just take a deep breath and try to relax.

Maybe he's just realizing he will be getting married in the near future and just needs a couple seconds to really adjust to that thought. I remember when I realized that SO would be the only man I ever went out with, ever, whoooa that was a maelstrom of emotions right there.

Just take a couple days to relax, don't broach the subject, and let him just have his mood.

EDITED: sorry!!! I missed the update, this PS2.0 still isn't working perfectly on my computer : ? Glad things are better : D Keep smiling : )

 

[Sizzle]

Planing a wedding before an engagement is generally a bad idea even when he says it's ok. Wedding planning is stressful and overhwhelming. Step away from the planning and tell him you're getting
ahead of yourself

 

[beezygal]

Thanks kagordo and sizzle.

I won't talk about wedding anymore until we're engaged. I'll just enjoy being a LIW for a little longer.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I'm glad you are feeling better!

You will have a lot of stressful conversations about wedding planning, and a lot of fights about it in the months to come Don't go looking for troubles now before you are even engaged!

 

[dawnabee]

Enjoy your romantic weekend Beezy and come back to tell us what you ate at the fancy French restaurant!! I never had French cuisine but today I was watching the movie Julia & Julia and thought of you! lol

And thats how you know I'm a LIW

 

[beezygal]

Thanks dawn. It's so sweet you were thinking of me.

I'm gonna takes lots of pictures of the yummy food tomorrow!

 

[beezygal]

Today is our 6-year anniversary! YEAH!

I know my bf won't propose today because he told me he won't since I want it to be a surprise. So... yesterday I asked...

ME: if I didn't tell you I think you'll propose on our anniversary, do you think you'll propose tomorrow?
BF: probably...

I was so upset with myself! I would have been engaged today but no. He saw me a little bit sad he told me "you know it's going to be real soon anyways"

 

[slg47]

hope you had a great night beezy!

 

[SweetPea-<3]

Hi Beezy, hope your anniversary went well, too. It sounds like your proposal is just around the corner, so I can't wait to hear all about it!

I was reading the thread and saw that your FF likes peanut butter cookies and that you were looking for a way to make them differently. I'm not much of a chef, but there is one thing I know, and that's how to make a mean PB cookie with chocolate kisses. My FF generally eats really healthy, but when I make these, he goes crazy and eats like 6 at a time!

http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1710,145187-252194,00.html

Although the recipe says to bake for 8-10 minutes at 375 degrees, I cook them only for exactly 7 minutes and at a lower temperature (350 degrees). I wait about 1 minute after removing the cookie sheet from the oven before I put on the Hershey kisses. Then, I wait about another 5 minutes before removing the cookies from the cookie sheet. During that time, the chocolate Hershey kiss melts nicely and I push it down once again on each cookie. If you want the chocolate portion to be less gooey, you can put the cookie in the freezer for about 5 minutes afterward. But I like them gooey! Also, be sure to sift the flour before mixing it in, and maybe use only 1.5 cups of flour instead of 1.75 cups to make the cookies a little less heavy.

Hope you enjoy the recipe! Let us know how the dinner and fireworks went last night.

 

[beezygal]

Thanks slg! Thanks Sweet. I'll definitely try your recipe. I just made this for my bf. http://www.joyofbaking.com/PeanutBlossomCookies.html Thanks for the tips!

I had a good night with my bf yesterday. He had to work at home all day yesterday so we didn't get to hang out until late afternoon. He was so busy at work he didn't have time to buy me a present. He was planning to take me to Tiffany before dinner to pick out something. (Nothing expensive. I want a pendant.) However, he couldn't come over until just before dinner. We didn't have time to go to Tiffany and he felt bad. He said he'll make it up to me. He took me to a fancy French restaurant. It was recommended by two different friends. I'm going to post some pictures later. Be careful of FOOD OVERLOAD! After dinner, we went back to my house to chill before heading to the fireworks. I had to change out of my dress for something more comfy for the fireworks. We enjoyed the fireworks. After that, I was jokingly telling my bf:

ME: It would be a perfect time for you to propose now. GET ON ONE KNEE!!!
BF: HAHA! I'll probably drop the ring on the ground and we can't find it since it's so crowded.
ME: Yes. Then I'll be so mad at you and we'll break up.
BF: YUP!

I wouldn't want him to propose there anyways. I want a private proposal. He agrees too.

 

[beezygal]

FOOD OVERLOAD!!! ready... get set... GO!!!!

 

[slg47]

ooh fun! beezy do you mind sharing the name of the restaurant? (if you do that's fine, totally understand!) my BF and I went to Fleur de Lys for our 3rd anniversary in April and took LOTS of food pics

 

[beezygal]

More food! We were too full for dessert!

Thanks for looking!

 

[beezygal]

ooh fun! beezy do you mind sharing the name of the restaurant? (if you do that's fine, totally understand!) my BF and I went to Fleur de Lys for our 3rd anniversary in April and took LOTS of food pics

It's called Le Crocodile.

 

[slg47]

oh my gosh did you get those cute chocolate crocodiles???

ETA nm just scrolled up and saw that you did!!!

 

[beezygal]

yes.. very yummy! How's your weekend so far?

 

[calibali]

Are you in SF slg? Best city ever, loved living there and would move back in a second. You got me thinking about Fleur de Lys and now I miss it

Beezy your food looks delicious, french food is the best. Yay for your impending proposal!

 

[slg47]

no we are in Berkeley but close to SF! fleur de lys was a little fancy for our tastes but really delicious and a great experience!

 

[dawnabee]

The food looks scrumptious!!! Especially the french onion soup... I love to get that as an appetizer places now since my BF was such a fan so every where we go now we try it out.

 

[PavePrincess]

Beezy - The food looks AMAZING!!!! Also, congrats on your anniversary!

I'm SOOOOOO jealous of the fabulous food.. The man and I are such foodies..

 

[calibali]

PavePrincess - I think you edited your post, but if you're looking for good french food in SF, check out La Folie. It's quaint with a ridiculously awesome menu. /threadjack