I'm a widow

[gemgirl]

Grief is exhausting. I didn't realize it until my dad died; I think I took a full body hit. Sleep as much as you want as long as you stay hydrated.

Yes, I can join you ladies saying that I know first hand that grief is horribly exhausting. Although there was my mother (who was useless), myself and my former sister there when my Dad suffered the massive coronary that nine days later claimed his life, I was the *one* to make all the decisions at the hospital, to talk to all the doctors, to sign all the papers for experimental heart therapies, to plan the three day wake (long time ago), the funeral Mass (thank God my BIL was a priest back then), buy the cemetery plots, choose the casket, flowers, after service catering, etcetcetc. It was overwhelming for a 24 yr. old even though I was very capable. My Father was my everything. I never allowed myself to feel the emotional pain of it all, never. I didn't allow myself to cry because my quite old fashioned Sicilian mother and brainless former sister were walking through the halls of the hospital crying weepy, very dramatic tears and saying quite out loud that God was going to give my father a new heart. Total LUNACY! The CCU nurses called a family psychologist who specialized in grief counseling to speak with them and rightly so. But I didn't actually "feel" it all until almost a year or more later. Then I got really sick. Glandular fever, mononucleosis, and a horrible immune system shut down. That's honestly not the way to handle this.

PB, my sweet friend, you do whatever you need to do every minute of every day for the foreseeable future until you feel stronger and steadier and physically better. Everyone is here for you as a group and you always know where to find me. You just keep writing- here, there (you know) and everywhere (FB, etc.). Our group hope is that you feel the love being sent your way. Lots of lots of love and caring through the miles. We'll hold you up.

 

[gemgirl]

Was it this one of our wedding? I was plumper and the girls were busting out of the top of my dress. I lost weight after the last fitting and they were floating out of the bodice.

Oh sweet Lord M, you are GORGEOUS!!!

 

[whitewave]

It isn't fun when one's bosom precedes the rest of one's body into a room by a full minute

I have a rack like that.

 

[Calliecake]

Gemgirl, Oh honey you have also been thru hell. I am so sorry. It's never easy when you are dealing with something so painful and feel as everyone around you has lost their minds.

 

[AGBF]

I have a rack like that.

Pictures needed! This is going to be the grief and big bosom(s) thread, so that we can attempt to match Pinto's state of mind. Who am I kidding? No one could do that? That woman is unique!!! Who else could crack jokes at a time like this?

Deb

 

[AGBF]

I am so sorry for what you endured, gemgirl. You are such a sensitive, kind, and giving woman. That is not the lot you "deserved" in life.

Hugs,
Deb

 

[gemgirl]

Gemgirl, Oh honey you have also been thru hell. I am so sorry. It's never easy when you are dealing with something so painful and feel as everyone around you has lost their minds.

Thankfully, that's a long time ago and my insane mother has since passed.

I most certainly didn't want to take the focus away from Pinto. It's true, just as Deb and Callie said, grief registers in it's own time and for as long as it takes for that person experiencing it. Having been at the wake with Pinto, I can tell everyone that she has the most fantastically beautiful and supportive Mom! I just love that woman. She is so proud of her daughter; and her in-laws, M's Dad and Mom, his twin, SIL and sister, well it just warmed me heart to see her FIL lean over to her while prayers were being said by the priest to make sure our girl was OK. Thankfully, the tissues were abundant and so was the love and concern for her well being. I believe she has a very good support system around her and that matters so much at these times. She is well loved.

 

[gemgirl]

I am so sorry for what you endured, gemgirl. You are such a sensitive, kind, and giving woman. That is not the lot you "deserved" in life.

Hugs,
Deb

I really have to stop into PS much more often again. I miss talking to you and some of our other friends and knowing what's going on in everyone's lives. I'm so sorry for your personal loss and for what Derrick is going through, but he's so lucky to have you now. You were always a good and caring woman Deb. Much love (and waves) from across the Sound.

 

[whitewave]

Pictures needed! This is going to be the grief and big bosom(s) thread, so that we can attempt to match Pinto's state of mind. Who am I kidding? No one could do that? That woman is unique!!! Who else could crack jokes at a time like this?

Deb

Because I appreciate a grief and bosoms thread... I present to you-- "boobs or lobster, which is supposed to be the focus of the photo?"

 

[Matata]

"boobs or lobster, which is the focus of the photo?"

There's a lobster in that photo?

 

[whitewave]

The lobster didn't stand a chance.

PInto, I hope this lightens your mind, if only by a hair

 

[Matata]

It's true, just as Deb and Callie said, grief registers in it's own time and for as long as it takes for that person experiencing it.

Your words could not be more true. And it's probably time to talk about some of the insensitive things PB may face soon. Friends and non-immediate family usually have an easier time moving through their grief and moving on. I've seen too often, that those people lose patience with the person who has lost their companion, parent, or child and start making comments such as "get over it", "time to move on", "why are you still crying all the time", "it's been a year for heaven's sake".

I'm a delayed griever. When I lose someone close I go into survival mode -- have to get things done, be here and there, do this and that and I also tend to dig deep and be strong for others. Real grief usually hits me 12 months later. Friends and family are fine and I'm just getting around to facing the loss.

One of my friends, who recently died, mourned her husband from the time of his death until her death. She was in counseling all those years. Her other friends and her family lost patience with her and wouldn't listen to her when spoke about her loss. I would let her talk as long as she wanted even though, after a decade of friendship, I could repeat the stories verbatim. And once a year on the anniversary of his death, I would have an intimate gathering at my house for her and we would celebrate their marriage and she shared happy stories of their life together.

It's important to remain compassionate toward those who grieve long or in different ways than we do.

 

[Calliecake]

Whitewave, I just woke the dog from a sound sleep I was laughing so hard.

 

[whitewave]

Lol.
--------------
I'm a pre griever and a delayed griever and I very much felt under pressure after my dad died to have a big melt down and get on with it.

I have to let grief in a little bit at a time. It has taken me 6 years to be able to look at photos of me and my dad.


---------------
The lobster looks like it is about to get eaten by my boobs..

 

[PintoBean]

I'm glad that this thread is a safe haven for people to "let it out". We are here to support each other.

I was supposed to go to a brunch cruise this AM but I was just too tired to get out of bed so I called my friend to cancel and went back to sleep. I think I sleep better when there are people in the house for sure. I slept from 1-5 AM then woke up again at 6, then 8 when my alarms went off, then fell back asleep till 1pm. I also find that my appetite is larger when I eat with people too. The signals between my brain and body parts just aren't firing and registering as they normally would. I know I should be more gentle with myself bc it hasn't been 2 weeks yet. I do feel bad for the cats bc the feeding schedule has been more inconsistent since breakfast happens whenever I actually wake up.

I'm loving that there is a hidden SMTB thread in here - Show Me TATAS and BAZOOMS!

 

[tyty333]

Pictures needed! This is going to be the grief and big bosom(s) thread, so that we can attempt to match Pinto's state of mind. Who am I kidding? No one could do that? That woman is unique!!! Who else could crack jokes at a time like this?

Deb

Wait, does that mean I cant post anymore? (looking down at my rather normal size breast)

 

[marcy]

Pinto Bean, sorry you had a rough night of sleep again. Hopefully you'll develop more of a normal sleeping routine soon. Echoing what so many have said you will find your way to deal and grieve and there is certainly no time limit or right way to do it. It's all about taking care of you. I am glad you have your great sense of humor to help you a little bit. You continue to be in my thoughts.

BTW I can't add a thing to the TATAS and BAZOOMS offerings but I am highly amused by that discussion.

 

[gemgirl]

Wait, does that mean I cant post anymore? (looking down at my rather normal size breast)

Or me tyty. I don't even think I'm in your camp. I need Victoria's Secret or Maidenform to create what's not there, and take that creation and push them up and together.

I was at the end of the line I think. <<<scratchingherhead>>>

 

[Matata]

Wait, does that mean I cant post anymore? (looking down at my rather normal size breast)

BTW I can't add a thing to the TATAS and BAZOOMS offerings but I am highly amused by that discussion.

Or me tyty. I don't even think I'm in your camp. I need Victoria's Secret or Maidenform to create what's not there, and take that creation and push them up and together.

PB has asked that we post tatas and bazooms. She did not attach a size requirement. We do not discriminate here. All bosoms are welcome as long as they're your own and not some random gifs from the internet because we do not support fake news.

 

[Calliecake]

Mine haven't been where they should be in years. Damn gravity!

 

[azstonie]

Lol to SMTB!!! Shhhhhhh, don't tell DF, he's a boobs guy!!!

 

[Matata]

Mine haven't been where they should be in years. Damn gravity!

I thought I'd reached the epitome of sag when mine kept getting stuck in my navel. Then they met my knees. I never had perky tatas. They popped out saggy

 

[missy]

Hey there PintoBean! Thinking of you and sending (((HUGS))) and more (((HUGS))). And all my fur babies send their purrs and love to you and your fur babies. HRH Francesca from this morning wants to send extra special hugs and purrs to her Auntie PB.

 

[BlingDreams]

Pictures needed! This is going to be the grief and big bosom(s) thread, so that we can attempt to match Pinto's state of mind. Who am I kidding? No one could do that? That woman is unique!!! Who else could crack jokes at a time like this?

Deb

Haha! This thread keeps taking all kinds of interesting turns

I'll play. This is me currently, but I'm having a breast reduction in less than two weeks! I'm very excited. I've wanted to do it for about ten years and finally have the money and circumstances to make it happen.

 

[OreoRosies86]

PB here is my cat creepy breathing/chuffing into my ear while kneading my back. Clearly a productive and not at all lazy Sunday. Hugs!

 

[Matata]

here is my cat

Sigh. She asked for boobs and she gets pussies.

 

[Calliecake]

I thought I'd reached the epitome of sag when mine kept getting stuck in my navel. Then they met my knees. I never had perky tatas. They popped out saggy

Matata, At this stage of my life a little "fake news" might not be such a bad thing! And why does no one tell you they take on a life of their own once you hit menopause.

 

[Calliecake]

She is so beautiful Elliott!

 

[OreoRosies86]

Sigh. She asked for boobs and she gets pussies.

Ask and ye shall receive #notmuchgoingoninthatdepartment


WonderBras are magic

 

[Calliecake]

Pinto Bean, Matata is right. Everyone grieves differently and some people will make the dumbest comments. Although with your quick wit, I know you will handle insensitive people in the best possible way.