If you just entered into a relationship

[Rfisher]

And your new partner already had a jewelry wardrobe ready and waiting for you
How would you feel?
Gracious or guilt to like?
If it were happened to be tailored to your liking/style would you feel random chance smiled down upon you, or might you have been groomed?

 

[Mekp]

TBH... it would feel controlling. They have decided what I should wear which is not their decision.
Also, big gifts at the beginning of a relationship is not a good sign. It is part of love bombing.
I would see it as a major red flag.

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

Honestly that's just not the kind of person I'm suited to so I don't think I would ever meet and be ok with anyone like that.

I would balk but likely they'd do something that would have made me balk long before the jewelry.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I'd be going for it! Wait....is the jewelry making up for shortcomings in another area? Hmmmmm

 

[dk168]

I have very strong personal tastes, and the chances of anyone who would be able to purchase jewellery to my liking for me in advance is extremely remote.

However, if that happens, I would accept with grace.

I would not wear anything that I do not like, and shall wear those that I like as and when I believe is appropriate for the occasion.

I certainly will not be groomed, as I believe I have been around for long enough to know how to behave in public.

DK

 

[PreRaphaelite]

Depends on whether it’s a good match. In real life, I’m so strongly a ‘type’ as to be bordering on a trope! I was born a hundred years too late.

Maybe someday I will meet someone whose ‘type’ is my ’type’ and if that person had kept her/his grandmother’s jewellery in hopes of giving to a partner, I’m all for it.

If she/he had amassed a bunch of Tiffany/Cartier/HarryWinston then I am very confident that I would not be a serious candidate for them.

Basically, if you like bbq potato chips, and your prospective partner would rather die than eat one, it ain’t happenin.

 

[MeowMeow]

I guess I would have to know if this is the only jewellery I would get from him EVER. If it is then I would not be happy at all.
But if not... well quite frankly most of my jewellery is from my grandmother whose taste is more like my husbands in jewellery. Which is to say not mine. But I took it gratefully from both of them and make sure I wore it anyway lol because effort was made to show me love through jewellery. My grandmother is gone but we were starting to make taste progress lol. With my husband he is just banned from buying alone lol. Any future projects are mine alone. He can tag along and tell me what he thinks but its my choice now! Lol

 

[OreoRosies86]

Nooooooo I am meticulously PICKY about my jewelry.

 

[scouty]

This reminds me of 50 Shades of Gray

 

[dk168]

It reminds me of the scene in Princess Diary 2, when the young princess walked into her dressing room, to be presented with a selection of jewellery selected for her by the queen, her grandmother.

I would definitely not say no to that!

DK

 

[JPie]

This reminds me of 50 Shades of Gray

I was thinking more

 

[dk168]

I was thinking more

My favourite scene from my second favourite romantic film.

Apparently it was unscripted and spontaneous, so good a scene that they kept it in the film.

DK

 

[scouty]

My favourite scene from my second favourite romantic film.

Apparently it was unscripted and spontaneous, so good a scene that they kept it in the film.

DK

It was such a romantic movie, the ending actually made me tear up!!

 

[elizat]

I think it is doubtful that someone that did not know me would be able to select things I would actually like. Safe items for most people would not be something that I would actually pick out myself or wear in all likelihood.

I'm thinking a diamond solitaire pendant, modern round diamond solitaire ring, strand of white pearls, etc.

 

[lyra]

It would be different, and maybe complex. I don't really understand it either. So maybe if not controlling, maybe a bit manipulative? I don't know, depends on the person. I'd wonder if I was just one of a line up. Or maybe that person has an in with a jeweller, a connection, a family member or something.

I'd want to look at it, lol! I think maybe it could be a good sign if that person just liked jewelry and was super generous.

 

[lilmosun]

Depends on the individual and intent.

 

[Roselina]

It really depends on the way it is presented. If it derives from let’s say a family heirloom and presented as “I have saved this for a long time and just wanted to give it to that one special person and I hope you like it. That would be really sweet. If it was presented like “Here, wear that, this is how I want to present my partner to others and don’t even think of wearing anything else”, I would run. I know of two such « relationships ». One woman is actually scared and would never buy anything on her own because her husband gets mad, when she would. He is the only one to be allowed to present her with jewellery and he picks it. The other one wants his wife to shine with tons of brand jewellery and talks her into wearing it, also if she doesn’t really like it or would like something else. He is manipulative in many different ways.

 

[Polabowla]

Can you explain the scenario more clearly? Are these heirlooms presented to her if she would like to wear- can be sweet but maybe a bit early.
Did the guy just buy a bunch of pieces to have on hand for potential girlfriends?
I find that creepy & odd.

How early in the relationship is this?

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Yeah I’m not sure how this works, why would a guy I’m dating, early on in a relationship have an entire wardrobe of jewelry to give away as presents that were purchased without my input?

If they’re family heirlooms or something purchased by his parents/grandparents to be gifted to his future intended it’s one thing (but then why present it early on in a relationship? Seems like something you’d give after being together for years / once engaged or married); but if he just bought a bunch of stuff and had on hand that’s a bit strange. Would depend on why he got it.

In fact the only thing my fertile imagination can come up with is, maybe he scored a bunch of stuff at a liquidation sale / estate sale before we got together? So he bought it all to have for future gifting purposes at a bargain rate. That’s the only reason I can think of why a guy might be sitting on a cache of jewelry that isn’t super manipulative or involving family history. That being said, I would REALLY hope it was good quality / I liked it, or that I was allowed to take the raw materials and make what I like out of it! I’m not sure if I’d be comfortable with that in a young relationship, but a couple years in? Sounds like a plan! If I was expected to just pretend to like it? We’d have a problem. I’d rather not want it in that case. I’ve never dated anyone with whom this would be an issue though - they would all prefer I turn it into something I would actually wear!

 

[Rfisher]

Did the guy just buy a bunch of pieces to have on hand for potential girlfriends?
I find that creepy & odd.

From what I understand
This is it.
or he knows she will be the recipient, but she’s not aware, and actually married or something like that?

I think I overstepped my bounds here.
I should just have participated in the ‘why are you grumpy’ thread instead

• 

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

From what I understand
This is it.
or he knows she will be the recipient, but she’s not aware, and actually married or something like that?

I think I overstepped my bounds here.
I should just have participated in the ‘why are you grumpy’ thread instead

• 

I’m confused - is this an actual situation, or a hypothetical one?

 

[Rfisher]

I’m confused - is this an actual situation, or a hypothetical one?

Probably both?
I was just curious how others would feel if they happened upon a guy stocking up.

 

[Mekp]

From what I understand
This is it.
or he knows she will be the recipient, but she’s not aware, and actually married or something like that?

I think I overstepped my bounds here.
I should just have participated in the ‘why are you grumpy’ thread instead

• 

The new detail makes it worse. So creepy.

 

[Demon]

The new detail makes it worse. So creepy.

Yeah there's nothing about this that feels good to me.

 

[lyra]

I'm totally confused at what's going on, in reality or hypothetically. Sounds sketchy if you're saying he stocks up in advance. Weird.

 

[JPie]

The only way I would find it not creepy for a guy to have a stash of jewelry for his new partner is if they were entering into an arranged marriage, and the jewelry was a wedding gift or dowry.

 

[RunningwithScissors]

I think it all depends on the guy, his motives and the situation. Life is complex.

I could see ways it would be creepy, but I also see ways it could be sweet and romantic.

The creepy ways have already been discussed (and I'd run away from them too!)

But here's a scenario I could see being sweet:

It is difficult, very difficult, to find a true, loving partner who is in kismet with us. Perhaps there is a guy who has been searching and hasn't found "the one" yet. Maybe he's been in a handful of relationships that just haven't worked out. He wants to believe she's out there, somewhere. Maybe to keep heart, he buys a ring so he feels like he's doing something towards his goal of finding her (guys often like to feel like they are taking action to solve a problem.)

Yes, we'd say he'd be better off putting that money in a "sparkly fund" so he'll have it when he's found her, knows her preferences, and is ready to propose. But humans don't always act logically, we are often driven by our emotions. And wanting to in a loving, permanent relationship is a strong desire. Maybe he wants to have a physical reminder he can look at from time to time to keep searching for her and a diamond ring is that for him.

I don't find the scenario I offered creepy.

And remember, many women don't care about the cut/clarity/carat size of an engagement ring. We all care here on PS because we are a select group who love diamonds.

 

[Musia]

To me it is a strange kind of behavior. I would think ER should come first and if girl accepts it then maybe he can start buying more jewelry pieces. But I think the girl would love to be allowed to buy what she wants with his money.

 

[Alex T]

Nope.

 

[Calliecake]

This seems creepy to me.