If you could only have one: son or daughter? Why?

[musey]

Date: 5/18/2009 5:31:19 PM
Author: MC
Musey - what is the name you have picked out?

Never ever telling anyone until he''s born!

It was ''stolen'' by someone we''re casual friends with, but for a girl. Took me awhile to get over it, but I decided it doesn''t matter - it''s still ''our'' name.

I''ll give you a hint, though, it''s a the name of a character that Matthew Fox played many years ago

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/18/2009 5:32:30 PM
Author: EBree

Date: 5/18/2009 5:21:39 PM
Author: MC

Date: 5/18/2009 5:05:03 PM

Author: janinegirly

MC-that's great about your little boys. But I think in general people are just expressing their own honest opinions, and not making it personal.

I'm confused. Did you think I was defending boys as if Pinkstars is wrong? I was just making a comment about mine and MY experiences. Nearly, everyone here is talking about personal experiences and what is wrong with expressing mine? You were just talking about your personal views just above.

I think in a thread like this (where many are leaning on stereotypes to express preference), it's important to share experiences that challenge these stereotypes. Keep on sharing!

Thanks. I ended up deleting the second response as to not imply I was wanting to start an aguement.

Because of being around so many kids, I see them in all states of being - clean and fresh and muddy and grungy. Kids are just kids!

My boys DO get dirty and play in the mud. I'm just neurotic about having them freshen up after doing so! I chase behind them sweeping up the caked dirt they leave on our deck. I've had to do the exact same thing with neighborhood girls who come over to play.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/18/2009 4:34:42 PM
Author: EBree

Date: 5/18/2009 4:00:45 PM
Author:TravelingGal

BTW, I don''t think just because we''re women, automatically we want girls.

Not all women, but the majority. Keep an eye on this thread and you''ll see- women generally want a girl (and men a boy) because it''s what they know. There''s nothing wrong with that, of course, it just is.

As for your question, I can''t answer it. I truly want to experience what it''s like to parent each.

That''s definitely the case with us! I want a girl first, FI wants a boy. We both want one of each though, so at least we''re the same page there.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/18/2009 5:34:11 PM
Author: musey

Never ever telling anyone until he''s born!

It was ''stolen'' by someone we''re casual friends with, but for a girl. Took me awhile to get over it, but I decided it doesn''t matter - it''s still ''our'' name.

I''ll give you a hint, though, it''s a the name of a character that Matthew Fox played many years ago

Very cute! (I think you posted about the name being stolen before. . .now I remember that!) lol My kids have very common boy names. Even with that, I would be upset if a family member had used that name having known I had already planned to use it.

 

[bee*]

I would love to have a girl. I would like a boy also but to me, a girl would be amazing. I''m very close with my mam so I would love to have the same sort of a relationship with a daughter.

 

[E B]

Date: 5/18/2009 5:34:11 PM
Author: musey

I''ll give you a hint, though, it''s a the name of a character that Matthew Fox played many years ago

If it is what I think it is, two thumbs up! Great name.

 

[joelly]

I can''t say for sure. However, let me share with you what my parents said. My parents who has one girl (me!) and two boys. Looking back they said, they would want to have all three girls, no boys. They also said that I am worth ten boys to them. FYI, we are Asian. A son is a must. My grandmother was a little disappointed when I was born. Later, we become good friends. Go figure!

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/18/2009 5:20:03 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
We didn''t find out either but I knew I would be sad if I never had a daughter. Now I don''t have to worry. My sister and I are so close with my mom and that is what I dream for DD and me. Adult sons seem more independent. Daughters always seem to need their moms.

Haha, I think that''s some of what draws me towards boys.

 

[neatfreak]

It''s funny because ask me a year ago and I would have said "girl!" and that if we found out we were having two boys I would want to try again to have a girl.

Now that I have my two boys though-I realized I am MUCH more a boy mom than a girl mom! I love my little guys and don''t feel a pang to have a girl at all anymore.

 

[musey]

Date: 5/18/2009 5:42:21 PM
Author: EBree

Date: 5/18/2009 5:34:11 PM
Author: musey
I'll give you a hint, though, it's a the name of a character that Matthew Fox played many years ago

If it is what I think it is, two thumbs up! Great name.

Thanks, Ebree

I kind of think so too!!

 

[musey]

Date: 5/18/2009 5:48:09 PM
Author: neatfreak
It''s funny because ask me a year ago and I would have said ''girl!'' and that if we found out we were having two boys I would want to try again to have a girl.

Now that I have my two boys though-I realized I am MUCH more a boy mom than a girl mom! I love my little guys and don''t feel a pang to have a girl at all anymore.

That''s so interesting, NF! I have no idea where I''d fall. I wonder how much of that is impossible to know before having your own.

Do you mind to sharing what makes you feel that way?

 

[lyra]

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I wanted a boy for "traditional" type reasons. We weren''t allowed to know the sex of the baby back in those days either. We had a daughter. The happiest day of my life was actually the day my second daughter was born, because we both *so wanted* another girl, it was a dream come true. Again, we weren''t allowed to know the sex beforehand. This was 22 and 19 years ago. I can''t imagine our life with boys in it at all. I can look forward to loving sons-in law, and grandchildren of either sex though, gladly. I would have been happy with either sex for my first child, undoubtedly.

 

[E B]

Musey- That''s the one!

I''d be interested to hear more from women who''ve experienced parenting both a boy and a girl (or multiples of each).

 

[musey]

Date: 5/18/2009 5:38:18 PM
Author: MC

Date: 5/18/2009 5:34:11 PM
Author: musey
Never ever telling anyone until he's born!

It was 'stolen' by someone we're casual friends with, but for a girl. Took me awhile to get over it, but I decided it doesn't matter - it's still 'our' name.

I'll give you a hint, though, it's a the name of a character that Matthew Fox played many years ago

Very cute! (I think you posted about the name being stolen before. . .now I remember that!) lol My kids have very common boy names. Even with that, I would be upset if a family member had used that name having known I had already planned to use it.

Actually, my parents and my brother are the only ones who know our name - because I had to threaten him by penalty of death that he was NOT to use our name!!! haha

I'm just ultra-paranoid about telling others, I don't know why. Couldn't really hurt to share it on PS, but somehow I'm still shy about it

Date: 5/18/2009 5:57:22 PM
Author: EBree
Musey- That's the one!

Yay! I'm very glad that you like it

 

[Shoopy]

I had always pictured myself with a girl first. The first born on both sides of my family were girls. I''m also the first born and my dad used to always say how badly he wanted a girl first. He had a great relationship with his older sister and loved how she took care of all of them so it was in his heart to have a girl first. Even though I wasn''t raised with an older brother, it never appealed to me.

Now that I''m having a girl, I can''t imagine it being any different. I even had a dream a few months ago about having a sonogram and the tech telling me they made a mistake. I sobbed in the dream and woke up feeling miserable lol. Of course happy/healthy is the #1 priority but I''m so attached to my little girl that I can''t imagine having anything else.

Plus...I feel like I already raised boys. Whenever someone asks if this is my first, I jokingly say that I already have two teenage boys.

 

[ChinaCat]

Musey- Great name choice, and I feel the same way about sharing names. Not sure why! Btw, the name that you''ve picked is the name that my mom and grandma call my son-to-be. Unfortunately, DH has vetoed it (strongly dislikes someone with that name, not b/c of the name) so it''s out. But until he''s born, my mom will call me and say "I bought C------------- a present today!"

So cute.

I am like Neatfreak. I think before being preggo I would have said girl. Now that I''m preggo, even before I knew what I was having, I felt more towards the boy of it all. Not sure why, but I do think a boy would be "easier" for me. I just kind of have that personality. I am thrilled I''m having a boy first. Weirdly part of it has to do with the fact that I have a boy dog and he''s just so cute and easy and all the girl dogs I know are neurotic and needy. HUGE generalization there, I know, but I am the girl in a boy household, and I love it. Don''t flame me if you have a fantastic girl dog, I know they are out there!!!!

Although being a sister and a daughter, I absolutely can''t imagine not having a daughter. It''s such a special bond it would be weird not to share that.

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 5/18/2009 6:04:45 PM
Author: ChinaCat
Musey- Great name choice, and I feel the same way about sharing names. Not sure why! Btw, the name that you''ve picked is the name that my mom and grandma call my son-to-be. Unfortunately, DH has vetoed it (strongly dislikes someone with that name, not b/c of the name) so it''s out. But until he''s born, my mom will call me and say ''I bought C------------- a present today!''

So cute.

LOL...my mom does the same with the name Sophia. We went shopping while she was here and she pointed out a dress saying "look...this is so cute for my Sophia"

 

[purrfectpear]

Son.

1. They bond with their moms. Daughters bond with their dads more often, especially as they hit puberty.

2. Easier to raise in general.

3. Cheaper to raise for SURE.

4. Dads always think they want a son, so the pressure is off if you produce one.

 

[ChinaCat]

Fiery- I like Sophia!

Tacori- Oh god, I made the mistake of telling my mom that saying about girls stealing the mom''s beauty. She will NOT let it go and brings it up all the time now!

My one worry/thought about boys is that it does seem like they grow up and grow away from their parents. Girls stay connected. Boys marry someone else''s daughter. I am gonna have to be one cool MIL to ensure some holiday time!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/18/2009 6:17:13 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Son.

1. They bond with their moms. Daughters bond with their dads more often, especially as they hit puberty.

2. Easier to raise in general.

3. Cheaper to raise for SURE.

4. Dads always think they want a son, so the pressure is off if you produce one.

This is becoming totally true for me. Even at the baby/toddler stage. Giddy Giddy clips ain''t cheap!

My boss had 2 boys and then a girl. He said when the boys went to college, he helped pack up a car and waved goodbye. With the daughter, he was totally confounded when she told him they needed to go curtain shopping. He said, "What? Curtains? For a DORM room?" He wondered whatever happened to a poster or two slapped on a wall.


I also wanted a girl because if I have grandchildren someday, I think it might be a wee bit different if it''s my daughter''s child vs a son''s. My mom says there''s a difference - at least in the amount they actually want you around since DIL will prefer her own mother''s help.

 

[beau13]

A SON!!
Less drama, whining,gossiping, moodiness, etc.etc...girls are..well girls..and I prefer boys!
Boys don't even comb their hair before school somedays, or care if their socks match, girls spend too much time in the bathroom, or picking out the perfect outfit and hair accessories, then when they become teengagers..wow..I don't even wanna go there. I love having boys!! They're athletic, strong, yet they have that senstive side, they love their mom, and show it often..cuddling, hugs, and kisses. I hate shopping, I think more like a man, relate better to men, get along much better with men, I'm not into all the frilliness and hoopla that is associated with girls! So... my pick would be boys, to carry on the family name too.
I couldn't be happier living in a house full of testosterone..being the only female, I'm treated like gold!

 

[ChinaCat]

Date: 5/18/2009 6:25:10 PM
Author: TravelingGal


I also wanted a girl because if I have grandchildren someday, I think it might be a wee bit different if it''s my daughter''s child vs a son''s. My mom says there''s a difference - at least in the amount they actually want you around since DIL will prefer her own mother''s help.

Ahh TGal, you just made me sad. So true though. Hmmm, ok, guess I''d better have another someday and order up a girl. Unless my son somehow manages to marry an orphan or a lovely girl that just happens to have awful parents?

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/18/2009 6:35:08 PM
Author: beau13
A SON!!
Less drama, whining,gossiping, moodiness, etc.etc...girls are..well girls..and I prefer boys!
Boys don''t even comb their hair before school somedays, or care if their socks match, girls spend too much time in the bathroom, or picking out the perfect outfit and hair accessories, then when they become teengagers..wow..I don''t even wanna go there. I love having boys!! They''re athletic, strong, yet they have that senstive side, they love their mom, and show it often..cuddling, hugs, and kisses. I hate shopping, I think more like a man, relate better to men, get along much better with men, I''m not into all the frilliness and hoopla that is associated with girls! So... my pick would be boys, to carry on the family name too.

I gotta wonder why sometimes then you stick around on a website that is nearly all women? I actually am sincere in my wonderment, so don''t take it the wrong way. If I got along much better with men, I wouldn''t even bother on a site like PS, no matter how much I liked diamonds!!

 

[beau13]

Date: 5/18/2009 6:43:18 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 5/18/2009 6:35:08 PM
Author: beau13
A SON!!
Less drama, whining,gossiping, moodiness, etc.etc...girls are..well girls..and I prefer boys!
Boys don''t even comb their hair before school somedays, or care if their socks match, girls spend too much time in the bathroom, or picking out the perfect outfit and hair accessories, then when they become teengagers..wow..I don''t even wanna go there. I love having boys!! They''re athletic, strong, yet they have that senstive side, they love their mom, and show it often..cuddling, hugs, and kisses. I hate shopping, I think more like a man, relate better to men, get along much better with men, I''m not into all the frilliness and hoopla that is associated with girls! So... my pick would be boys, to carry on the family name too.

I gotta wonder why sometimes then you stick around on a website that is nearly all women? I actually am sincere in my wonderment, so don''t take it the wrong way. If I got along much better with men, I wouldn''t even bother on a site like PS, no matter how much I liked diamonds!!

It definitely explains why a few members drive me batty! I do have more fun on other forums that have more male members. They have thicker skin, and aren''t easily offended by stronger personality types!

BUT..the only girly thing I enjoy is diamonds and handbags...and this site provides alot of satisfaction in that department! Besides..I''m not easily offended and sometimes what I hear (or read) goes in one ear and out the other...just like a man!

No offence men!

 

[HollyS]

If I could choose, I would choose a daughter. I am one, so I feel I could relate - - I guess.

 

[tigian]

I would love to have one of each, but if I had to choose, I would want a boy.
I''m just afraid that mother/daughter relationships are more complicated. I love my mom and we are very close, but...
I think DH would be great with a daughter and/or son, but I think deep inside he would be over the moon for a son.

 

[Mara]

i am firmly of the same mind as beau for wanting a boy. GIRLS clothes are SO CUTE though. however i def know it depends on the child. you can end up with a sensitive boy just like you could easily have a tomboy girl...i was one.

friends who have both tell me how they are different... so it is interesting to hear and also see it play out. boys seem to def scream, hit and throw more (though i am sure there are those that don't)...but i have also heard from countless people who say that the biggest differences are that in the beginning boys are harder and girls are easier, BUT as time goes on and they grow ... girls become harder and boys easier.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Girl, for sure. I have the same insecurity with little boys that I do with big ones - I never know how to treat them, or what to say! Not to mention I would go crazy with the amount of DIRT little boys bring with them everywhere they go!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/18/2009 6:50:55 PM
Author: beau13

Date: 5/18/2009 6:43:18 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 5/18/2009 6:35:08 PM
Author: beau13
A SON!!
Less drama, whining,gossiping, moodiness, etc.etc...girls are..well girls..and I prefer boys!
Boys don''t even comb their hair before school somedays, or care if their socks match, girls spend too much time in the bathroom, or picking out the perfect outfit and hair accessories, then when they become teengagers..wow..I don''t even wanna go there. I love having boys!! They''re athletic, strong, yet they have that senstive side, they love their mom, and show it often..cuddling, hugs, and kisses. I hate shopping, I think more like a man, relate better to men, get along much better with men, I''m not into all the frilliness and hoopla that is associated with girls! So... my pick would be boys, to carry on the family name too.

I gotta wonder why sometimes then you stick around on a website that is nearly all women? I actually am sincere in my wonderment, so don''t take it the wrong way. If I got along much better with men, I wouldn''t even bother on a site like PS, no matter how much I liked diamonds!!

It definitely explains why a few members drive me batty! I do have more fun on other forums that have more male members. They have thicker skin, and aren''t easily offended by stronger personality types!

BUT..the only girly thing I enjoy is diamonds and handbags...and this site provides alot of satisfaction in that department! Besides..I''m not easily offended and sometimes what I hear (or read) goes in one ear and out the other...just like a man!

No offence men!

Makes sense to me!

 

[snlee]

Date: 5/18/2009 6:25:10 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I also wanted a girl because if I have grandchildren someday, I think it might be a wee bit different if it''s my daughter''s child vs a son''s. My mom says there''s a difference - at least in the amount they actually want you around since DIL will prefer her own mother''s help.

I never even thought about this but agree there are some differences.

As for your question, I can''t answer it. I hope to me a mother of a boy and girl. I really want to experience what it''s like to parent each.