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I went a little over the ''budget'' for my e-ring..should i chip in and help, please read my story

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courtneyclv

courtneyclv

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2006
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125
So my bf said I could get what I wanted for my e-ring. I did go about $2500 over because my ring looked perfect on my finger and I just loved the F color and no visible inclusions..

We have a credit at the store for about half the ring, and the rest is going to be on a zero percent credit card for 15 months, but the extra won''t fit on the card..

BF can attempt to put the rest on layaway but he is bad with saving. and that would take months and months. PLUS- My family lives in Chicago and I only visit twice a year. I REEALLLLYYY want to be engaged when I go home in January, and I know he does too. It is very important to me because so far, my family seems not very happy that we just live together.

I know this is greedy of me to want my e-ring in a couple of months, but it is my fault I went over budget, plus my family wants to throw us an engagement party. (he won''t propose until he gets the ring) I don''t want to rush the e-ring, but we have been talking about marriage for about a year already.

What should I do? Help chip in so that I can get engaged by the time I visit my family?

Courtney
 
Sure! I think it''s only fair if you got to pick your dream ring.
 
Sure, why not? When you get married, your finances will be combined anyway. So it doesn''t really matter whose account it comes out of now, as long as you can afford it as a couple.
 
I''m wondering how much you would save if you went down in color to another stone. I know you said you love the F color, but have you looked at a G color? I don''t remember what the clarity was either, but maybe ou could save a bit more there too, and still have your dream ring. Lots of the experts here even go down further in color-I actually am getting a ''J'' on color, and it looks beautiful to me.

I think it''s OK if you offer to help pay for the ring, or pick up the tab for something else, so he can pay for the ring.
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I bought the setting for my engagement ring and I''m buying my wedding band too, nothing wrong with it at all. I think it''s fine as long as he is fine with it. The three month salary thing, and other "rules" are just silly, do what works for the two of you.
 
Hi everyone,

Thanks for replying so fast! I did look at center stones yesterday, with colors of I and J, I could really see the difference. I also could have gotten a less expensive 1.50 princess that was SI3, J color..but I really didn't like it. The center I got is colorless with no visible inclusions. I figured..my ring was only a couple of thousand over..why not get the diamond that looks better..than get my ring asap and sacrifice the color or get a 1carat instead of a 1.21 that looks like 1.50.

Yeah, I think I will help pay the bills this month so that Jay can save for that extra part. Or..I may put it on my card with the low APR. I couldn't get my dream ring (that would be huge) but I love what I found...and we can always upgrade when we refi the house...haha. Its hard here in Las Vegas...bling and more bling is in and it seems that carats are VERY important here! (but all the carats in the world would never measure the amount of love we have for one another....)

Our money will be the same and I am making more than him lately. Plus, like I said, It is very important to me to have my families acceptance one day and I am going there in January. I won't go again until next summer.

I will see what some others suggest and will make my decision this week.

Courtney

Do you think that by suggesting I chip in the extra amount that my BF will feel bad or think I am rushing him?
 
Hi Courtney-

It sounds like you really love the ring and the stone! I think it''s OK if you offer to pay for some other stuff, do what works for you two. Being engaged when you go home would be very exciting.....

Have you done a search on PS to make sure you are getting a good deal on the diamond and the setting? I only ask because I was working with a local jeweler who was going to take in my current ring on a trade-in, but in the end it was a huge rip off, and he was building it into the price of what I was buying. I went elsewhere, and got a much better deal on a better stone, AND I got to keep my ring.

I don''t want to talk you out of a ring you love, but am just trying to offer a little advice. I love Vegas, we are coming in early January.
 
Hi there, I just wanted to chime in here about something else. It sounds like you really love the ring you chose but I wanted to mention the grading of it. You mentioned that you had looked at SI3s which is not a GIA or AGS rating. Which lab reports do these diamonds have? Since it may not either of the two mentioned above, I would get recommend getting your diamond independly appraised to make sure you really get what you pay for. If the color is not graded accuratly, you may not have an F there. But you will be paying the price of one. Labs like IGI or EGL are not terrribly accurate with their grading. EGL USA may be an exceptioin and is more respected around here, but I would still want it appraised.
 
Good point Jazmine. I was also wondering about specs on the stone. Something else Courtney said made me wonder-about that dream ring being $18k. That seems high for that halo setting with a 1.5 carat stone, but I may have misunderstood what exactly that price was for. But I was thinking Courtney could do a halo setting around her stone for much less, and get that 2 carat look.
 
I don't have the certificate, EGI, for the ring yet, but I did do some research. I was finding center stones for about the same as the jeweler online. (around 6k, certified)

The setting, I don't know about it. I think the ring is probably about 1500 more than what it should be. But, since we do have a credit for $3700 I still think it is worth it. I doubt I could find, or get made, the same ring for less (when I count the credit we have) It probably IS more expensive than it should be, but it is beautiful and the jeweler is very reputable (doesnt help that it is in fashion show mall..very ritzy mall!)

I must have confused everyone...here is the right info..

I saw my dream ring in the store, it was about 3 carats (dont know exactly) I think and was $19,000

I looked at loose stones yesterday. Some were EGI and some were GIA. I think the 1.5 that was SI3 was the EGI certified. The other stones were the better certification, but were only a carat and not that great of color, and too small for me. I choose the ring that was already put together.

At the jeweler they bring in loose stones that are both certifications. The manager told me that yes, the GSI stones are a bit more expensive.

:)
 
HI Courtney-

I have only been at this a few months, but I know that most of the mall jewelers have EGL cert stones, or their own brands. The reason the GIA and AGA stones are priced higher, is because those labs have more stringent grading systems than EGL. There is also EGL USA which is better than EGL Europe or other, but it is possible that you are actually getting a G or H, SI2 instead of a F, SI 1 or other. With a GIA or AGA, you get what you pay for.

It is possible that you may be able to get a better price on this ring that you love, with a bit more pricing knowledge. I know it can get confusing. Can I ask, who is the jeweler you are looking at. Someone here may have more experience with that store. Do they have a trade up policy?

The suggestion that you get the stone appraised is a good one. You also want to know how good the cut is-alot of times stores throw around the term ''ideal cut'' very loosly. I do not believe that EGL provides all of the info you will need for that, but I may be wrong.
 
Courtney, you discuss color, carat weight, and clarity a good deal but you really need to think about cut. Cut is the most important of the 4 Cs, though the majority of mall stores never even bring it up. Without a superior cut, the best color and clarity will not look as good.
 
The jeweler is Michael E. Minden.

I will call tomorrow and see if I can get the cut. My sales lady isnt there, but I will ask to speak to a manager. I did hold the stone up to a I color and the I looked almost a yellow tint next to the supposed F color.

I did look at stones that were GIA certified but like I said, they were a bit smaller, and didn''t like them as much as the princess in this ring. Under the scope I could clearly see the imperfections of the other stones. I think if I got a stone that was GIA cert, the same, it would probably be too much for the budget.
 
Courtney, if you love the ring and have looked at it with a loupe or microscope, then by all means help pay for it. You are living together and I see nothing wrong with you either paying extra living expenses this month and next month so he can apply more toward the ring or else just putting part on your card. I understand how you feel about your family''s feelings and I think it would be great fun for you to be able to celebrate your engagement and show them your ring when you are home. I ordinarily do encourage people to get GIA or AGS certified stones, but in this case, since you have the credit at that one store, it certainly does make sense for you to get it there.
 
I agree with DS. If you love the ring, have the credit and can''t see any inclusions I think you should go for it. As for him letting you help, only you know him and would know if he''d be hurt or offended. You said he has a tough time saving so if he''s ok with you helping out then I''d do it.
 
Courtney-

Good luck, and if you really want this ring, I hope it works out for you! Sometimes trying to find out all this info may not be all that important to the person-this may be you-buying the ring. Just try to have some info beforehand, so you are getting your best price. Having a credit makes it an appealing purchase , but you should still be able to get the ring for a fair price. There are B and M dealers who are fair and pleasant to work with. I hope it goes well for you.
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this is a big presumption on my part, but if you already live together, don''''t you share the money already??
I think it is more and more common for girls to chip in now adays.
Just don''t rush on making a choice just to be engaged,since essentially, you guys already are! Take your time and choose the ring that will be yours forever!
 
Hey Courtney!

Sometimes it takes people FOREVER to find the setting that they LOVE. If you''ve found it, and it''s noy waaaaay over budget and you won''t have to eat baked beans for 6 months then I say go for it! Ask your boyfriend if he minds - that''s the easiest way to find out. If he doesn''t then that''s all that matters. Or as other people have suggested you can pay for other things so he can make the extra payment on the ring.

Good luck and remember to post pics!

a
 

Sure.. your buying this ring for yourself. I think it is only fair to chip in. You will be married soon anyway and his $$ will be your money and vice/versa.


If he were to propose with a ring from him and then asked you for $$ then that would be a little inappropriate...but this is your choice.. I would say it is appropriate for you to help.



 
Sure chip in! But have you looked at the pricescope vendors for a better deal on the center stone?

Usually you can find better quality and prices online. Just a suggestion. Maybe the jeweler can sell you the setting and you can shop around for a better center stone here. There are lots of gals here to help!
 
Hi Courtney,

This is totally unrelated, but I was just wondering. You mentioned that you are a cocktail waitress. I did this also when I was younger, and I wasn''t married or engaged, so I didn''t wear a ring. Are you going to wear your ring when you''re working? Do other girls you work with wear thier rings? Have you talked to any of them about this? It just seems like you may get larger tips if you appear to be single, for a variety of reasons. Maybe this isn''t the case. I really don''t know; it''s just something I''ve always kind of wondered about.

also, if you wore your ring and saw that your tips got smaller, would you stop wearing it?

sorry, I realize that these questions are boarderline offensive, and I certainly don''t mean to offend you. But if you don''t mind, I just wanted to know what you thought about this.
 
Like the above posters said, in this day and age I definitely don''t see anything wrong with women helping pay for an e-ring (esp if you went over the budget your FI had set). However, I would approach the topic gingerly with your boyfriend because to some men, being able to pay for the whole ring is important (for a myriad of various reasons). I''m not saying don''t ask him (you should) but just be prepared for him to possible say "no" to the idea of you paying. And if he does, don''t be upset.

I also went a bit over buget on my e-ring, and similarly offered to chip in (we are both grad students so money is tight). My boyfriend thanked me for the kind offer, but told me that paying for the ring is something that he really wanted to do himself. We aren''t old fashioned- I treat him to dinner often and we split most other expenses, but for whatever reason, he feels this way about the ring, and I respect that. I understand wanting to be engaged when you see your family in a few months, but in the grand scheme of things, its *much* more important for you and your BF to have a good start to "the rest of your lives together" (i.e. not fighting about who pays for the e-ring) than pleasing your family in January rather than July.

So, again, definitely ask him if you can chip in- he may very well say yes, and that''s great. But do it gently and don''t fight if he says he wants to pay.

One more thing- it sounds like you are just choosing from the diamonds your jeweler has in the store right now. Have you asked them if they could bring in other stones for you to look at that are similar to the specs you want? Oftentimes jewlers will do this for customers. That way, you could have them bring in a G color of a similar carat size that may be a bit less expensive but still show up white. All I''m saying is don''t feel limited by what your jewler has in stock today, because they have access to lots more stones.

Good luck with everything!
 
Congrats!
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I see no problem with chipping in yourself for the e-ring if you want a nicer one than FI can afford. If he has no problem with it, I say go for it! More power to you!

But you did mention that you would be putting it on your credit card. Low APR or not, be careful with going into debt for your ring! You seem like a smart cookie, so I am sure you know what you are doing. The ring sounds lovely!
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I hope you both get TONS of tips so you are well on your way to having your sparkly!!!
 
I paid for my setting, $2300, and my sweetie paid for my center stone - I like to think it''s something we worked for together. I had no problem with that, and neither did he.
Just make sure your guy is okay with it! And then - be HAPPY and engaged!

Scintillating...
 
I am calling the jeweler right now and will post what I found. I do think that the setting is probably a little bit more than it should it. It does have .63 cts, platinum, engraved. I will ask what the specs of the diamond are and the CUT. Also the dimensions and what the price of just the center stone is.

I am nervous..wish me luck!

:)

Courtney
 
I have nothing against chipping in... I paid for the setting myself, otherwise we couldn''t have had the centerstone I wanted. So, if you''re both comfortable with it, go ahead.
 
Hi Courtney! I just wanted to drop in my 2 cents. My husband and I bought both my e-ring and wedding rings together, so feel free to chip in! He made me choose because he knew I''m very picky.

I''m also from Las Vegas. Check out M.J. Christensen Jewelers - they are AGS members - only about 5% of jewelers are members of the American Gem Society because they have to adhere to strict ethical guidelines - i.e., unlike mall stores, they can''t hike up the price and bring it down only to pretend you''re getting a "good" deal, stuff like that. They have a lot of AGS, GIA, and EGL certed stones. Check them out. Huntington Jewelers is also an AGS member. I couldn''t convince my husband to buy online so I made sure to limit myself to buying from an AGS jeweler (there''s only 4 or so in LV, which also includes Ben Bridge, which happens to be a mall store) to make sure I don''t get mauled by a mall store!

On the other hand, if you already fell in love with the stone and if it was the one that "spoke" to you when you first saw it, then by all means, go ahead and get it!
 
Michael Minden recently moved to Fashion Show mall within the last two years. Prior to that, they were not mall located. If I were a jeweler I would want to be in one of the best malls in the country too! And located by Saks and Neiman Marcus. haha :) They are not a chain store like Zales, etc.

I am going to that store because I do have a 3700.00 upgrade credit.

Please check out my other post with all specs!
 
i see nothing wrong with chipping in to help as long as your BF is cool with it.

however, my initial thought when reading the thread is that if you guys are using credit AND a layaway to get this ring in the first place and the rest of the ring won't fit on the card (which indicates a low credit line OR an almost full card) ... then i can't help but think...can you two REALLY afford this ring???

i know you said it's your dream ring but just make sure you are not overextending yourself to get something luxury like an engagement ring. sure we all fall in love with lots of things but if you can't afford it, then don't try to force it. it's really not worth it. anyway i don't know your financial situ but reading your post that is the first thing i thought. maybe you guys should keep looking OR have this jeweler call in more stones for you or ask them when they are getting other options in, so that you can go lower than an F and get a more affordable stone with the same kind of setting you want. i started with a G then went H then J and for me they all were great options. i would not buy a colorless stone unless i had a ton of money burning a hole in my pocket and maybe not even then. there are a ton of diamonds out there, so you may be able to find something a bit more affordably priced with the same setting and fits within the budget if you wait a bit or find out if they can call in other stones for you to see.

anyway just some food for thought.
 
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