I Just Don''t Know

[ItsMe]

Date: 11/4/2009 9:04:04 PM
Author: motownmama
Since you sound like you''re keeping it, do you have any more pictures? I really think it looks gorgeous on your hand!

Thanks motownmama, I really appreciate that. You''ve all said such nice things I think I might be viewing my ring a little differently.

I think it''s just that I''ve seen so many beautiful rings here on PS to covet..

I don''t have any more pics, but I''ll try to take some this weekend and post here.

 

[ItsMe]

Date: 11/5/2009 7:48:16 AM
Author: clgwli

Date: 11/4/2009 1:03:30 PM

Author: ItsMe

Many of you have asked what it is I don''t like about it... I think it''s just that in certain lighting conditions I don''t like the way the pave looks. Unfortunately, those conditions exist in my office where I spend 9+ hours a day. (Yucky fluorescent lighting and light green-gray walls.) Maybe I could hire someone to walk around shining showroom lights on my hand all the time.

We are definitely outside any return period. I think I''ve decided to keep quiet. I do think that saying something would hurt his feelings. I know he had to save for a while to buy it, and I know he really tried to find something he thought I would like. I actually *do* like it, I just don''t think it''s what I would''ve chosen for myself. Truthfully though, if given the opportunity I''m not sure I even know what I would choose (to wear every day for the rest of my life!).


Anyway, thanks again for all of your suggestions, and for saying good things about my ring. Not that I think any of you lovely ladies would say anything otherwise.

But it''s nice to hear.

Just remember also you may not be in that office forever I know a lot of office settings are not good for jewelry in general. I think drab lighting and colors just make most jewelry look blah. I know mine always did. I just kind of ignored it after a while!


I am glad you did decide to keep it and be quiet for a while. Just try to look at it as often as you can in the good lighting. I know what you mean about not knowing what to pick for yourself. I''ve been working with my husband for a 10 year upgrade and I cannot find a setting I really like to save my life. I have a feeling it will never happen

You know, I always thought I wouldn''t want a plain ole'' solitaire, but the more of them I see on here, the more I really like the way they look. They really are ''timeless''.

 

[ItsMe]

Date: 11/5/2009 2:38:05 PM
Author: cutechick0021
I felt the same way you did. Dropped my now husband plenty of hints and he ultimately went with what he liked. I changed the ring to make it more ''blingy'' and what I wanted (going broke in the process), snd i''m still not happy...changed it 3 times to be exact...broke his heart in the process. I''d say out of exeprience don''t do it. It''ll really end up costing you both one way or the other

That makes me sad.

I hope his heart has healed and your wallet has recovered. ((hugs))

 

[jstarfireb]

It''s a pretty setting, but it''s not my style either, so I know how you feel. Could you talk to your FI about resetting it? You mentioned you''re going to keep quiet for now, so maybe just see how it grows on you for the next year or so, then ask him about getting a new setting after the wedding. Or just wait until your planned upgrade; it''s promising that he''s willing to upgrade!

 

[ms.halo]

I really HATED my first setting. It was uber chunky and SO not me. I wanted pave but all he understood was that I wanted diamonds in the band--which is quite different! I wore it for about 2 years before I said anything. I never wore my band with it because it was just too darn thick and uncomfortable and finally when he complained that I didn''t look "married" without the band I told him I needed to reset the ering. He was initially hurt, so I took a step back and waited for him to bring it up again. When he brought it up I started the process of resetting.

Some guys are ok with the reset eventually. After all, we''re the ones wearing the ring everyday. I know a lot of others disagree about this issue, but I do really think you need to be happy with a ring that represents so much.

 

[AdiS]

I really, really love your ring! It''s blingy but delicate and classy. It also looks great on your hand. I hope it grows on you because it''s absolutely beautiful (at least until you have the chance to get exactly what you want.)

 

[brellymom]

I think it looks lovely on your finger! As some have said, you could always change it out in the future (when you upgrade your center stone), put a lovely sapphire or other colored gem in the setting and wear it as a RHR. I did this and then gave it to my daughter on her 18th birthday. She''s a daddy''s girl and loved that she had the original engagement ring!

 

[Kelli]

I actually think your ring is quite gorgeous! And if I''ve learned one thing here, it''s to NOT compare yours to the thousands of spectacular rings on pricescope! For one thing, it''ll drive you insane, and for another, it''ll drive you insane!

That said, if you really hate it, I''d bring it up gently and proceed with caution. My fiance didn''t like that I wanted my diamond recut. (I picked it out in the first place, before I really learned what mattered to me.) He wasn''t completely happy about it because of the risk involved, but I think he''s happy to see just how much I''m loving now! He doesn''t care at all about jewelry, but he does always smile when he catches me looking at it!

 

[Dandi]

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on your engagement!!!

Secondly, this probably isn''t helping, but I LOVE that setting

It''s not quite like anything I''ve ever seen before, and I love that your ring stand apart from so many others in its own right! I love the profile and the pave looks amazing in the picutres you''ve posted.

But like others have alluded to, not only in this thread but in others on the forum as well... as goes without saying, the man and the commitment are forever. A ring is a token of love and the promise you guys have made to each other, whether it remains the ring you are wearing now... or if, like marriage, the ring changes and evolves, and gets better!

Whether better is an upgrade, a setting change or different stone to suit your tastes. Don''t feel guilty sweetheart, I do hope the ring grows on you if you decide to keep it, because it is unique and very beautiful. It''s great that your fiance is already open to upgrading the diamond, that''s so generous. That says to me that he wants you to LOVE the ring on your finger, therefore (if it were me) I would discuss it up with him. Just from reading this, he sounds like a wonderful guy who wants you to have what makes you happy.

All the best, and do keep us posted!

 

[FrekeChild]

My FI originally took me engagement ring shopping in February of 2007. We got engaged December 2008. Thats almost two years to think about, dream about and look for my dream engagement ring. I photoshopped like a mad woman. I shopped for a stone like a mad woman (colored stone person here). I drove EVERYONE INSANE looking for that perfect ering.

Finally I designed one.

Then a whole bunch of stuff happened and my FI was planning on proposing on a trip to Vegas. He went to the jeweler, discovered he didn''t have enough time to get what I wanted, and bought the closest thing he thought he could get.

I was like you when I first got my ering. Sometimes it was ok/tolerable and sometimes I hated it. Occasionally I even liked it. No matter what, I decided to keep it.

Then I went wedding band shopping. WOW. NOTHING looked right with it. The only things that did look right with it were 4mm bands, since the shank tapered from 3.75 down to 2.5 on the very bottom of the shank. My number one criteria for the setting (I had picked out the stone, although never saw it in real life) was that the shank be no more than 2mm thick/wide. If he had picked out a 4 or 6 prong simple solitaire with a thin shank, I''d probably still have that ring intact. So I went shopping. And I came home crying. I knew that I wanted a 2mm wedding band period, and the original ering looked terrible with that band.

Well of course he wanted to know what was wrong and I wouldn''t tell him, so then I ended up telling him because he was getting upset that I was so upset. Luckily he still had more money in the ering fund because the stone had been so cheap (yay for non diamonds!)and the setting had been a stock replica of the Vatche Royal Crown. So he said, "You''re not happy. Lets reset it."

So I went custom. And that ering I had spent two years dreaming up became a reality. It is still not perfect, but handmade never is really, but I love it. It is perfect for me and him.

And the original setting was the first of many substitute erings. It now has a pink spinel in it and I wear it more often than I had originally thought I would.

My suggestion:

Since you are far past the return period, keep it. And in the meantime, get a wedding band that you really love that goes or doesn''t go with this ring. But don''t get one that matches this ring, since you don''t want to keep it forever. And start looking here on PS. Save the pictures of the settings you love on first impulse. And put them in a folder. Over time, you''ll have A LOT. And then look at them frequently. And gradually narrow it down. Open two in Paint and look at them side by side, choose one over the other the way you have to at the eye doctor. If you have a few that you can''t decide between, look at what you love about them and see if those elements can be combined into one ring. No one said you had to decide on this immediately.

I''ve been there my dear. It''s very hard to try to like something that you wouldn''t have picked out for yourself to begin with, unless you had a lot of input or aren''t very picky.

 

[that_someone_special]

I just wanted to pipe in and say that it''s lovely either way and congrats on your engagement