I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor...

[Anonymous6]

So, as some of you know, I have chosen the diamond and setting already from BGD (just have to go through the payment when they open back up tomorrow).

Well, today the FF and I went to the mall and looked at some jewelry stores to look at settings and rings and such because to her, she just thinks we're shopping around and to me it was to get reassurance as to what she wanted in a diamond and setting. Anyway, there's a jeweler there (not necessarily inside the mall but basically part of the mall in its own sector hard to explain).... I had already visited this lady once a few weeks back to look at diamonds and settings before I had found PS. She was SO helpful and just great service and so nice and kind and honest.

Well, my gf found out I went and at the mall today she asked if we could go check it out together! I couldn't really say no at this point, right? So, we go and pay the lady a visit... and all I wanted to do was get in look at some settings and such and get out because I didn't want to lead her on thinking I was really serious about buying.... although it definitely does not look like that. It looks like I'm a guy who went there once and this is now my 2nd time there and I decided to bring my gf along to further plan my purchase there....

So, she takes us to her office and sits us down and goes over everything with my gf and I... just talking and teaching and being so helpful.... and the whole time in my head I just feel awful because I'm not buying from her but my gf is sitting there loving all of the knowledge and diamonds being shown etc...

We spend probably close to an hour in there and finally leave.

It looks so obvious to the lady that I'm going to buy there. What should I do when she e-mails me (she has my e-mail from the previous meetings)? It's going to sound SO stupid telling her I've decided to buy somewhere else... it was like wasting her time tonight. I'm seeking advice from fellow PS'ers.... what would you do/say? I feel absolutely awful. She was soooo nice and kind too

 

[swingirl]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

Keep them in mind for other purchases?

Buy your wedding bands from them?

Recommend them to friends?

If you need to answer the salesperson's email, thank her for her time and knowledge but say you aren't ready to buy just yet. You shouldn't have taken an hour of her time, though. Playing along with your FI was fine for 15 minutes but you should have moved on and continued the conversation away from the salesperson.

 

[SB621]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

I agree with swingirl on everything she said. If you truly feel awful about it after you propose you should go look at wedding bands there or perhaps a wedding day gift and get it there.

 

[Anonymous6]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

The hour of her time was just an awkward situation where I can't just flat out tell my gf, "hey I already know exactly what I'm buying you on BGD and have it all planned out already so let's get out of here"

that, and she was loving the time spent looking at diamonds and rings (as any girl would)

DEFINITELY will be writing great reviews for this particular person on any website that she'd pop up on during a search as well as honestly pointing people to her.

Her prices are affordable... but I feel like I'm getting much better quality from BGD... and for cheaper..... for diamond, setting, and band.

Just a completely crappy situation

 

[Rhea]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

What an awkward situation! I don't think there was any right solution. You either tell your gf that you've already decided and ruin the surprise that it sounds like you want, or you cut the chat short and potentially indicate to your gf that you're not ready yet.

If she emails I think I'd respond that you found her very helpful and will recommend her to friends, but that your gf just fell for a ring she saw elsewhere.

You can always go back to the shop for wedding bands and other purchases!

 

[marymm]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

I'm sorry you felt awkward - but bear in mind you were the only person who "knew" a ring had been selected elsewhere. And really, since it hasn't been paid for yet, potentially your mind could have been changed if the salesperson had offered a compelling alternative. Many couples spend months looking and shopping before making up their minds as to stone and setting and/or finally coming up with the funds for such a large purchase. Not all consultations end in sales, and the salesperson really was the person I would think who was sort of "in charge" of how long this consultation would last.

That said, I definitely agree with the others, and to the extent you are able to personally patronize her store in the future, you should do so -- a knowledgeable and dependable local jewelry store is a find in itself, especially if it also offers good benchwork for sizing, repairs, re-mounts, etc. And I'm sure you have friends and family who prefer to make purchases in a B&M store - you can steer them to her store as well.

This is a happy time for you - do not feel guilty that you wasted someone's time - your girlfriend was educated, you were further impressed with the salesperson, and thus it is likely the salesperson has won what she was after -- not only a customer, albeit in the future, but someone who will recommend the store to others.

 

[Circe]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

I'm sorry you felt awkward - but bear in mind you were the only person who "knew" a ring had been selected elsewhere. And really, since it hasn't been paid for yet, potentially your mind could have been changed if the salesperson had offered a compelling alternative. Many couples spend months looking and shopping before making up their minds as to stone and setting and/or finally coming up with the funds for such a large purchase. Not all consultations end in sales, and the salesperson really was the person I would think who was sort of "in charge" of how long this consultation would last.

That said, I definitely agree with the others, and to the extent you are able to personally patronize her store in the future, you should do so -- a knowledgeable and dependable local jewelry store is a find in itself, especially if it also offers good benchwork for sizing, repairs, re-mounts, etc. And I'm sure you have friends and family who prefer to make purchases in a B&M store - you can steer them to her store as well.

This is a happy time for you - do not feel guilty that you wasted someone's time - your girlfriend was educated, you were further impressed with the salesperson, and thus it is likely the salesperson has won what she was after -- not only a customer, albeit in the future, but someone who will recommend the store to others.

Very well said, Mary! I agree on every point.

I think I remember in a previous thread, you were chided for potentially taking up a seller's valuable time, yes? I'll just sort of reiterate my position there: you're not making a promise by listening to a pitch. You're not obligated to buy if you don't see something you adore (which, frankly, could have happened ... if your GF had absolutely fallen in love with a stone and couldn't stop raving about it, I think you'd probably give a second thought to your choice). In this case, since you were impressed by the salesperson and have wedding bands and presents coming up, anniversary gifts, etc., I'd say she's done her job well!

 

[Amys Bling]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

First. don't feel bad, you are spending a lot of money and you should feel entirely happy with who you went with. You obviously cannot tell your GF you already made the purchase, and looking to reaffirm your purchase is totally reasonable.

If you like the jewelr- consider then for wedding bands, or a special wedding gift.... you can always make them "your jeweler", you don't have to use them for your Ering necessarily.

 

[tyty333]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

We sort of had the same situation and ended up buying my ering from someone else after a store had been very helpful and friendly
(and brought several stones in for us to look at). We ended up buying my DH's wedding band there (which wasnt cheap) so I feel
like we sort of made it up to them. I also sent my father there for my parent's 50th anniversary present where he spent a fair
amount of cash. So...in the long run their time with me has paid off!

 

[Modified Brilliant]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

I would definately keep this store in mind for future "service" oriented needs, ring sizing,
polishing, etc. It's always nice to have a positive experience with an honest and competent
local retailer. Don't feel guilty...spending time with potential buyers is part of being in sales.
They know that they can't close every sale.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

I would write her a note or email, and thank her for her time and tell her how much you appreciated all the time she
spent with you, but that unbeknownst to your gf you had already picked a stone from another vendor. I would tell her
that you will keep her in mind for future purchases and gladly refer people to her who want a local vendor.

Honesty is always a plus and I think she would appreciate that.

 

[makhro82]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

I would keep them in mind for smaller purchases. I had a similar experience recently where the guy provided me with excellent customer service, but I knew I was not going to buy. I was just honest and said I was doing some comparisons and would look at him for future purchases.

 

[decodelighted]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

Would it *feel* different to you if you were selecting a car? Spending time in different showrooms learning about all the options & then, in the end, picking the one with the best *deal*? People do continue to shop after they've *selected* something. All the time. Its a kind of due dilegence. She really COULD have swayed you ... if her store had comperable stones at more reasonable prices. Its not YOUR fault they DON'T. Yanno?

Don't waste your time feeling guilty about it. Keep them in mind for future *local* purchases. You don't own her an explanation for going elsewhere. If you want to respond to future emails she might send ... just thank her, be flattering about her knowledge etc and stress you'll be back in the future. That's all she'd want to hear really. Sales folks get pretty jaded about the % of lookers that turn into buyers. I doubt SHE'll take it personally (as a professional).

 

[makhro82]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

Would it *feel* different to you if you were selecting a car? Spending time in different showrooms learning about all the options & then, in the end, picking the one with the best *deal*? People do continue to shop after they've *selected* something. All the time. Its a kind of due dilegence. She really COULD have swayed you ... if her store had comperable stones at more reasonable prices. Its not YOUR fault they DON'T. Yanno?

Don't waste your time feeling guilty about it. Keep them in mind for future *local* purchases. You don't own her an explanation for going elsewhere. If you want to respond to future emails she might send ... just thank her, be flattering about her knowledge etc and stress you'll be back in the future. That's all she'd want to hear really. Sales folks get pretty jaded about the % of lookers that turn into buyers. I doubt SHE'll take it personally (as a professional).

I wish there were a like button here.

 

[Anonymous6]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

I also wish there were a like button on here for that response right above ^

That's probably the route I'll take

 

[MissGotRocks]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

I agree and I've been in similar situations. However, that is the land of sales and they really don't expect to sell to every customer - they hope to but realistically, they know that's not possible.

 

[IceExplorer]

Re: I feel awful for getting so much help from a B&M vendor.

Her prices are affordable... but I feel like I'm getting much better quality from BGD... and for cheaper.....

As a consumer, you educate yourself and exert due diligence until you feel comfortable with a purchase, whether it be with diamonds, watermelons or tickets for a flight.
You shouldn't feel bad for getting the best possible value for your future fiance.

I had a similar sales associate at a B&M store when I was shopping. She did everything she could to get me the best possible diamond in the budget I gave her. She couldn't match the value I got from BGD. I later went in to see her to get an appraisal for Canadian insurance. She LOVED my fiance's ring. She congratulated me on doing a a great job. I eventually told her what I paid for the ring and she told me she didn't blame me for my choice. She then asked me to keep her in mind for future purchases. I won't forget the level of professionalism she showed through the whole process.