I did it last night...

[allycat0303]

I put foot down.

Needed to give you all an update. I spent the weekend debating the issue about my mom''s ''''bribe'''' thought it over, changed my mind and then finally made peace with the whole thing. I initally had decided I was going to take the money because I felt like the whole business was pretty unfair. However, on Monday night I went home, and my mom was being really unpleasent about it. Snide comments ''''oh now I have to contribute because you couldn`t pick a decent venue'''' etc., I went home in tears because I couldn`t stanf the unfairness of it. So LONNG talk with fiancé monday night again, and we we decided to refuse the money.

Last night I went to my parents to tell my mom. I wasn''t mean about it or anything, I just told her I that I thought it would be less stress for everyone, if I didn`t take her contribution. BUT I also told her I wasn''t going to pay for all her guests. I''m not intrested in a big wedding, and since I am footing the bill, I don`t want people I don`t care about to be there. If we had gone with the venue as planned, I wouldn`t have minded, but now I do. Granted she was really angry, both that I refused the money, and made her cut the guest list, but honestly, her attitude about the whole thing made me really angry. So it''s going to be family only on my side. I''ll have 30 guests total (have cut out her extra 20 friends). I was really jittery and emotional after the whole scene, but this morning I feel like superwoman.

I''m really happy out actually, and DRUMROLL....my fiancé and I decided to get our dream venue! I thought it over, and the bottom line is that we can easily afford it. I am being stingy about the whole thing, but it doesn`t really matter. I just had a mental block about the price, but it''s my wedding and my fiancé convinced me it wasn`t unreasonable.

So today, at 3:00 my fiancé is going ALONE to put the deposit down. I called my photographer last night, and he was available for the date, and changed over our deposit. So if all goes well (please cross your fingers for me) then by tonight I should have the venue booked. It''s silly but until he signs his name on the contract I am going to worry that this isn`t going to work out.

Thanks everyone for all of the support!

 

[NYCsparkle]

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You finally stood up for yourself and wound up with everything you wanted and deserve!!!!!!!!! I''m so happy that your saga of wedding planning is finally going to have a happy ending.

I''m so happy that you got your dream venue too. enjoy your stress free planning from here on.
**remember** they can only make you as crazy as you let them.

Don''t ya wish you did it sooner?

 

[noelwr]

well done!

it is difficult to tell people what they don''t want to hear, but almost impossible if it''s family. you are very courageous and I totally understand you being jittery afterwards, but now you will have the wedding YOU want and no one else can change that as you are the one paying for it.

very cool that your FI convinced you to get your dream venue!

 

[Lorelei]

Ally,

I read up on the last thread, GOOD FOR YOU for putting your foot down!!!!!

I am PROUD of you!!!!

 

[Independent Gal]

That''s great! hurray! And I know what you mean about being able to afford something, but wanting to keep the spending down. But sometimes you just gotta splurge.

Good for you!

 

[purrfectpear]

Now you''re rollin'' large

 

[Sabine]

Awe, I''m so happy for you!!! It seems like everything is working out for the best, and I''m sure your relationship with your mother can only get better once she realizes she can''t push you around anymore!

 

[fieryred33143]

I will never understand how mothers can make their daughter’s wedding all about them. My mom knows better….but don’t tell her I said that please!

I’m glad you put your foot down and that everything is going to work out in your favor. Sometimes we have to put our parents in their place.

 

[meresal]

Glad to hear everything is working out!! And some *VENUE DUST* for good measure!!

 

[mimzy]

good for you!!! hopefully this is the start of the rest of your happy, stress free wedding planning time

 

[bee*]

Brilliant ally!!!!

I''m thrilled for you!

 

[Stephanie]

That''s wonderful news!

 

[October2008bride]

That''s great news Ally!!! I''m so glad you put your foot down AND got the venue you truly wanted! I can imagine it was tough to do, but you totally did the right thing!

 

[robbie3982]

I''m so proud of you for standing up for yourself!!! I''ll keep my fingers crossed that nothing goes wrong between now and 3:00!

 

[musey]

DARN STRAIGHT, ALLY!!!!!!!!!!!

I''ve been quietly following your story, and I''m so glad for you... it will only get better from here, I''m sure. Good for you for deciding to cut those puppet strings, and for going with your heart on the venue decision. I''m sure that you won''t regret it

 

[EricaR]

GO ALLY!!! I''m so happy that things are working out the way that YOU want them!!!

 

[anchor31]

Well, halleluja!

Ally, I''m so relieved for you! It''s hard to do, but doesn''t it feel good? I''m so thrilled that the two of you will get to have the wedding that YOU want, at your dream venue, no less!

What''s your new date?

 

[WishfulThinking]

Good for you!! I''m glad you found the courage to stand up to your Mom, and I''m so excited that you''re getting the venue you wanted!

 

[Harleigh]

Good for you, Ally! I am so proud of you! Now...could you show me how to do that with my own mother???

I will keep my fingers crossed that you get the venue of your dreams!

 

[fatafelice]

THAT IS AWESOME, ALLY!!!

It is great that you stood up for yourself, but it is even better that it has made you feel empowered instead of guilty! Rock on!

 

[brooklyngirl]

Yay! Congratulations, on finally sticking up for yourself. I wish I would finally grow a pair and do that!

 

[Amandine]

Yea!!

I am so happy you getting your dream venue anyway! It will make your day so much more special for you.

 

[surfgirl]

Ally, I''m so proud of you. I know how difficult it is to do what you did, from a cultural perspective, but your mother was way way out of line for such a long time and really, she''s been nothing but trouble since you announced your first wedding date. Now you can have the wedding you and FI really want, ON YOUR TERMS! I''m thrilled that you feel so empowered about it all! Own that feeling and dont forget what it feels like...

 

[iwannaprettyone]

I feel empowered as a bride just reading your thread! thanks for your post and congrats!

 

[CJ2008]

ally - that is so awesome, good for you.

I agree with Sabine - your relationship with your mom could only get better after this. Just be aware though...she may come out swingin'' in all kinds of unexpected ways if she feels she''s really losing her grip on you. Prepare yourself to be firm and stand your ground.

 

[LollyBear]

Congrats on sticking up for yourself. I''m sure you''ll be much happier on your big day being in a place you love and having only people who love you there. Way to go!!

 

[doodle]

feels GOOOOOOOOOOD, doesn''t it?

letting your family know that you''re taking charge is about more than just the wedding--it''s about the life you and your FI will have together once married, too. congratulations on standing up for the both of you--you should be well beyond proud of yourself--and it paid off because you''ll get the wedding you WANT and DESERVE. YAAAAAAAY for you!!! now keep us posted on the planning--i''m interested in what you''ll do with that beautiful venue you were coveting!

 

[choro72]

Congratulations! I''ve followed some of your previous posts and I''ve been rooting for you! When is your wedding date? On the list it says August this year, but I think that''s going to change, right?

 

[allycat0303]

NYCsparkle: I don''t see you so often on the board anymore, but you''re so supportive. I don''t know if I could have said anything before, but the latest stuff was really hurtful, so I am glad it''s done with.

fatafelice: Hello! One of the old LIW gals, it''s so nice to hear from you.

noelwr, Lorelei, Independent Gal, PurfectPear, Sabine, fieryred, Meresal, mimzy, bee, stephanie, robbie, ericaK, wishful thinking, Harleigh, brooklyngirl, Amandine, surfgirl, Iwannaprettyone, Claudinham, Stephen''s Bride, doodle, choro72: Thanks for all of the support!

Musey: I don''t know if all of the puppet strings are cut, but I am relieved that I don''t have to worry about all the extra guests.

Anchor, Octoberbride: Thanks fellow Canadian gals!

The signing and deposit went without a hitch

So June 27 th 2009. It feels really official. All I have to do is get a dress, and get through my sister''s wedding in a few weeks and then we can start planning for real. I''m really excited. I have to say that despite my mom''s drama, I can''t help thinking it worked out for the best, because I am REALLY happy about the venue choice. I think I was really trying to *convince myself* I was thrilled with the other venue. Funny how we always pictured ourselves getting married at Manoir Rouville (from the very second we got engaged) and it all ended up being exactly what happened.

 

[KimberlyH]

It''s official, ally is getting married on June 27, 2009 (just reiterating the date to make it seem more real to you!). That''s aweseome, ally, now keep progressing forward positively so you and your FI can beging your life together, happily!