Hysterical and or embarassing parenting moments

[softly softly]

In the spirit of Tgal's pregnancy thread I thought it might be fun to start a similar one where we can detail our funny and embarrassing parenting moments.

I'll start - about 6 months ago my then two year old daughter developed an attachment to an old toy left over from the infant stage that was in the shape of a cube. Unfortunately her attempt to say cube came out as 'pube' which I found pretty funny until one day in the supermarket she decided to tell a random person standing next to us in the checkout line that her favorite thing to play with was her pu embarrassing embarrassing be.

 

[atroop711]

Date: 6/25/2009 8:22:50 AM
Author:softly softly
In the spirit of Tgal''s pregnancy thread I thought it might be fun to start a similar one where we can detail our funny and embararessing parenting moments.


I''ll start - about 6 months ago my then two year old daughter developed an attachment to an old toy left over from the infant stage that was in the shape of a cube. Unfortunately her attempt to say cube came out as ''pube'' which I found pretty funny until one day in the supermarket she decided to tell a random person standing next to us in the checkout line that her favorite thing to play with was her pube.

that is SO FUNNY! Thanks for that

 

[atroop711]

My daughter saw my mother''s neighbor come out of her apt. This lady was an elderly women who loved to garden. She had her gardening hat on (which has a sash to tie under her chin). My daughter shouted MOMMY LOOK IT''S MOTHER GOOSE! As she proceeded to run to her saying MOTHER GOOSE WAIT FOR ME!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Okay, I have a sort of gross one.

We went grocery shopping and decided that I would carry our 4 month old son in the sling, carried on my front facing out. We were shopping away, and I went over to get some olives from the open deli area -- it is a large cooler with about 10 different types of olives in open containers that you just scoop for yourself.

Thinking of my son slung on my front facing outwards, I thought to myself, "Well, this is just a spit up accident waiting to happen!" So I turned to the side facing him *away* from the food and scooped away. Sure enough, ten seconds later, my son spit up right there on the floor!

Good thing I thought ahead or we would have probably purchased a very large vat of spit-up-flavoured olives!!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I have another that isn't about my kid but reminds me of Softly's story!

Our friend's have a very verbal 3 year old who decided to make up words for kitchen objects one night while her parents were cooking. So a knife was a "hooby" and a fork was a "poolka"... and she decided that she would call the the grater a rather nasty four letter word for a woman's body part that starts with "C" and ends with "T"!

It was very disturbing to hear that word come out of a 3 year old's mouth!!

We all just ignored it and didn't make a big deal because we didn't want her to start saying it over and over again! Sure enough, she forgot.

 

[somethingshiny]

Last Saturday we took JT (3.5) and DH''s parents to the zoo for a father''s day celebration. We went into a very crowded but unnaturally silent restaurant when I asked JT if he needed to use the potty. He replied in his loud but tiny voice, "NO. THERE''S NO PEE IN MY PENIS!" Some people looked horrified that he actually used the correct word, but I just laughed. My MIL was pretty

, though. Tee hee hee.

Other than that, we''ve been lucky...so far....

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/25/2009 12:30:03 PM
Author: somethingshiny
Last Saturday we took JT (3.5) and DH''s parents to the zoo for a father''s day celebration. We went into a very crowded but unnaturally silent restaurant when I asked JT if he needed to use the potty. He replied in his loud but tiny voice, ''NO. THERE''S NO PEE IN MY PENIS!'' Some people looked horrified that he actually used the correct word, but I just laughed. My MIL was pretty

, though. Tee hee hee.

Other than that, we''ve been lucky...so far....

LOL.

I am actually quite impressed to hear that he knows the correct word! I want my future children to know the correct terminology.

 

[swingirl]

At our large Christmas gathering my very overweight SIL asked my young daughter if she''d like to come sit on her lap. My daughter''s response was, "You don''t HAVE a lap!"

 

[D&T]

walked passed a VS store, and my toddler at the time just turned 3... she screams "Mommy.... she... nake.. ked!" (although the manequin was not entirely naked) then I walked into the store and bent over one of their lower drawers for stuff, and my toddler exclaimed "mommy... I SEE YO BUTT!"

this was during Christmas rush too.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/25/2009 1:01:52 PM
Author: swingirl
At our large Christmas gathering my very overweight SIL asked my young daughter if she''d like to come sit on her lap. My daughter''s response was, ''You don''t HAVE a lap!''

I would have died!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

One of my professor''s specialized in nutrition, and once when he and his 4 year old son were at the grocery store. His son looks at the woman in front of them in the check-out line, turns back to his dad, and proudly gives his (loud) diagnosis of "Look! She''s obese!"...and then went on to evaluate her shopping cart.. "icecream, high fat! Chocolate, high fat!.." until his dad finally moved them to another line our of sheer embarassment.

 

[LitigatorChick]

My son (3) is very into his penis. He calls it his "rocket" (my ex-husband is to blame for that). Anyway, he asks, in public, "does mommy have a rocket? Miller has a rocket." Oh my....

 

[luv2sparkle]

When one of my boys was small, he was outside playing with a friend, riding their big wheels and he stood up whipped out his "you know what'' and said
Freeze, I have a weapon! He still gets teased about that.

When my daughter had a boyfriend over for pizza for the first time, another son, (who talks a mile a minute, i.e read fast) said. Do you have a hairy weiner, Ryan
has a hairy weiner, shane doesnt, Kellie doesnt even have a weiner and my dad has a REALLY hairy weiner! My daughters face was so red!

 

[Logan Sapphire]

My neighbor''s story: unbeknown to her husband, she''d been reading her 3 year old son a book about a pussy cat. When her husband was at the food store, her son saw that the cashier had a cat button on. He started screaming to his dad, "Look Dad, a pussy! A pussy!", rather embarrassingly leaving out the "cat" part. He didn''t know about the pussy cat book and was mortified.

My story: not funny embarrassing, but rather of the I want to die variety. We were on a non-stop, 14 hour flight from Seoul to DC, bringing home our newly adopted daughter. Only problem was, our daughter HATED us and screamed almost the entire flight home. She didn''t want anything to do with us, and every time she looked at us, she burst into tears. I''m sure people around were wondering why we couldn''t control her (she was only 10.5 months at the time), and a flight attendant kept asking us what was wrong with her, was her diaper wet, etc. It was so awful that both my husband and I cried ourselves.

 

[Ara Ann]

Boy, the wiener thing is really important to boys huh? Too funny...

When my son was almost 3 and my best GF was visiting...I had to take a phone call and left the room, so she talked with my son for a bit...he was watching the old Disney Peter Pan movie at the time, so she asked him if he wanted to be like Peter Pan and stay a little boy his whole life...my son thought it over for a minute and replied, "Nope...I want to grow up and have a big wiener, just like my dad." - My GF about DIED, but managed to respond without totally cracking up...I found her in the hall, red faced and hand over her mouth...hysterical....she could barely tell me what he had said.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 6/25/2009 2:21:46 PM
Author: LitigatorChick
My son (3) is very into his penis. He calls it his ''rocket'' (my ex-husband is to blame for that). Anyway, he asks, in public, ''does mommy have a rocket? Miller has a rocket.'' Oh my....

My 2 and a half year old is also really into his penis. Whenever I am changing him (regardless of who is around - but this especially happens in public) he will start yelling, "I want to touch my penis! I love penis! Penis, penis, penis!" My husband thinks this is a hoot, and honestly it''s quite funny, but you should see the faces of some of the older ladies in, say, the Nordstrom lounge - it''s priceless.

 

[packrat]

hahaha another funny thread! When Trapper was littler, he went thru a thing where every time his diaper was being changed, he''d play with himself. JD would say "Leave your peanut alone". So, one day I was changing Trapper, and London was watching. She said "Mom can I pull Trapper''s peanut?" I said "Honey, it''s called a penis, and NO you can''t pull on it that would hurt him" So she walked around "Trapper has a pee-nus not a pea-nut" And the one time I slipped and called it his peanut, she was all over me-"Mommy, that is NOT a peanut. That is a pee-NUS! You have to say it right mom!"

London mimics everything. I hear her say to Trapper "Well, sorry, yer just gonna have to deal with it" "That''s just how it''s gonna be, Trapper"

Now, she''s started coming to me.."Mom, I think we need to talk" "Mom, can you come here for a second so we can have a talk?" "Mom, if it''s all right with you.." She''s 5 1/2 and it just strikes me funny when she''s so serious like that.

 

[doodle]

A friend told us that our stepson would probably enjoy the Transformers movie, so mistakenly trusting this friend''s judgment, we took Sean to the movie. At one point in the film, the kid is trying to hide the fact that he was just talking to a transformer out his window with a girl in his room, his mom busts in, sees that he''s weirded out by something, and says something to the effect of, "Son, were you masturbating?" My at the time 9 year old stepson yells out in the middle of the packed movie theater, "DAD, WHAT''S MASTURBATING???" Lesson # 1: Don''t take movie recommendations from people without children, haha!

These other two are both my mom''s horror stories from when I was a baby:

My grandmother has always called diapers "britches" kind of as a joke. Well, when I was about a year and a half old, Mom took me with her to the grocery store and had me riding in the little seat in the front of the shopping cart. I had pitched a fit wanting to hold my bag of diapers, so she sat those up front with me, too. We get in line to pay for the diapers and everything else, and this really sweet little old lady gets in the line behind us. I''m being all smiley and friendly, so the lady smiles and says, "Hey sweetie! what do you have there?" I reply, "I got bitches." The poor old lady just started sputtering and said, "Oh dear!" Mom loves telling this story and mimicking the poor woman''s

face!

Another time, again at the grocery store (it was always at the grocery store with me!), and this time I was at most, three years old. Mom had been really strapped for cash, so she only had about $20 on her. We hop in the line, and she''s got laundry detergent, toilet paper, a can of spaghettios that I had REALLY wanted, and a couple of other items that we REALLY needed for the house. Unfortunately, the total came up to more money than what she had with her, so she had to put a couple of items back in order to afford the tab. She goes to hand the cashier my can of spaghettios to reshelve, and I burst into hysterical sobbing and loudly announce, "No, Mommy, oh GOD!!! Please don''t make me eat another bologna sandwich!!!" Everyone in the store was looking at her like she was a child abuser, and she was MORTIFIED. We wound up coming home with no laundry detergent and with the spaghettios, and my poor wonderful mother sobbed the whole way home because the whole incident made her feel like this horrible mother. She thinks it''s hilarious now, but I always feel so bad when she tells people about it!!

 

[packrat]

When I was really little, mom and I were driving to town, and she got pulled over for speeding. I thought that meant she was going to jail, so I started bawling hysterically "Are you going to take my mommy away?" He walked away to the other end of the car and just stood there for a while. (When I was older, Mom said he was over there laughing and composing himself.) Then he came back and gave mom a warning. Mom thinks this is a great story of course.

She made me eat a lot of bologna sandwiches too, Doodle!

 

[April20]

I''m going to tell one on my sister. My parents were always very frank and clear about sex. They didn''t want any of us kids having the wrong idea or repeating things we heard at school. My sister was maybe 5 or 6 and we were on vacation in Florida. There were praying mantis bugs EVERYWHERE and my sister and brother had been watching a couple of them intently. There were people next to us that had a little boy and they got to talking to our family. The mother asks my sister what she''s been looking at and my sister proceeds to tell her that she''d been looking a two praying mantis and that they were together "like they were having sex". The woman''s eyes about bugged out of her head and I think my parents about died of embarassment as well.

My sister has an 16 month old daughter of her own now and I can''t wait to ask her when she''s going to give the "sex" talk.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 6/26/2009 3:12:20 PM
Author: packrat
When I was really little, mom and I were driving to town, and she got pulled over for speeding. I thought that meant she was going to jail, so I started bawling hysterically ''Are you going to take my mommy away?'' He walked away to the other end of the car and just stood there for a while. (When I was older, Mom said he was over there laughing and composing himself.) Then he came back and gave mom a warning. Mom thinks this is a great story of course.

She made me eat a lot of bologna sandwiches too, Doodle!

What a funny story! I bet that cop likes to tell that story too!

 

[Dancing Fire]

my wife was with our younger daughter (she was like 4 yrs old) in the waiting room at the doctor''s office,then a midget walks in and she yelled out real loud....mommy,mommy, look... a MAN KID !! .

my wife was so embarrassed.

everyone in the waiting room giggled.

 

[packrat]

Trapper woke up from his nap earlier, so I went in to snuggle with him. We laid there for a while and then he started saying "hide, hide" and pulling his blanket over our heads. Then he sat up and I asked if he was ready to go play. He cocked his head to the side and looked up, tapped his chin a few times and said "Hmmm let''s think". Then he made an "ahah!" face, put one finger in the air, smiled and said "I know, mommy! Let''s play!" It was so cute and sweet in his little 2 yr old voice. He learns a lot watching Blue''s Clues etc w/London.

This I know he didn''t learn from Blue''s Clues tho..he''s been constipated so I made him take some Fletchers earlier..after his nap, he was playing in the living room and took his diaper off. I went to his room to get another one, and he came running in "Mommy LOOK!" and pulled me into the kitchen and pointed to the floor.....then I realized my son had come in here and pooped. In two spots. "Ohhhh mommy-loooook. yucky!" he says. He''s lucky he''s so cute.

 

[Octavia]

Date: 6/26/2009 3:12:20 PM
Author: packrat
When I was really little, mom and I were driving to town, and she got pulled over for speeding. I thought that meant she was going to jail, so I started bawling hysterically 'Are you going to take my mommy away?' He walked away to the other end of the car and just stood there for a while. (When I was older, Mom said he was over there laughing and composing himself.) Then he came back and gave mom a warning. Mom thinks this is a great story of course.

The EXACT SAME THING happened to me!! I must have been about 3 at the time and I was terrified. My mom got off with a warning, too

My brother did all sorts of things...my favorite was when he went through a phase of loving pinatas, and he called everyone a pinata because he liked the word so much. So we were in the car with the windows open, sitting at a stop light, and all the sudden he yells to the guy in the car next to us, "hey you -- you're a PINATA! Hahahahahaha!" They guy gave my parents a horrible look and luckily the light turned green pretty soon afterward. They then had to give my brother a talk about calling random strangers names, even if they weren't "bad" names. Heh.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

this was totally humiliating... my mum thinks it is the best story ever and likes to tell everyone.

I was at my mums one day having afternoon tea with some of her friends when my little girl, she was about 3 at the time, out of no where proudly announced.. "My mummy likes to take the hair off her ^%#@! because she wants to look just like me"

I could have died.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Date: 6/26/2009 10:17:37 PM
Author: hawaiianorangetree
this was totally humiliating... my mum thinks it is the best story ever and likes to tell everyone.


I was at my mums one day having afternoon tea with some of her friends when my little girl, she was about 3 at the time, out of no where proudly announced.. ''My mummy likes to take the hair off her ^%#@! because she wants to look just like me''

I could have died.

Ack!

Haha, something similar happened when I was visiting a friend, and his gf had just entered the room after having finished taking a shower, and he goes "yay, she takes forever to shower because she likes to shave everything, and I mean everything". At least your daughter has her age as an excuse, my friend was just a moron.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Date: 6/26/2009 11:57:37 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade

Date: 6/26/2009 10:17:37 PM
Author: hawaiianorangetree
this was totally humiliating... my mum thinks it is the best story ever and likes to tell everyone.


I was at my mums one day having afternoon tea with some of her friends when my little girl, she was about 3 at the time, out of no where proudly announced.. ''My mummy likes to take the hair off her ^%#@! because she wants to look just like me''

I could have died.

Ack!

Haha, something similar happened when I was visiting a friend, and his gf had just entered the room after having finished taking a shower, and he goes ''yay, she takes forever to shower because she likes to shave everything, and I mean everything''. At least your daughter has her age as an excuse, my friend was just a moron.

Yeah but mum mum? she loves telling the story, esp when i am around to relive the humiliation. But i think it is just payback for the time i got on the radio and told everone about how she tried to give mouth to mouth to an emu... but that''s a whole nother thread!

 

[Lynn B]

When DS was about 2 1/2 he was rooting through our nightstand drawer looking for a crayon and he found a little blue foil condom pack. He held it up and asked, "What's this, Mama?" Being the good mama that I am

I answered simply and honestly, "A condom." He said, "Oh" and put it down and found the crayon he wanted and toddled off. End of story (or so I thought), and I was feeling pretty smug and proud of myself thinking, "See, that wasn't so hard. Just answer them simply and honestly!" and *pat, pat, patting* myself on the back.

TWO WEEKS later we were in our small neighborhood bank on Social Security/senior citizen day (and it was PACKED) and the teller says to my DS, "Would you like a goodie?" And she handed him a small blue square foil pack of sweet-tarts. He looked at it, smiled sweetly, and said clear as a bell and VERY LOUDLY, "OHHHH! A CONDOM! Thank you!"

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 6/28/2009 8:24:27 AM
Author: Lynn B
When DS was about 2 1/2 he was rooting through our nightstand drawer looking for a crayon and he found a little blue foil condom pack. He held it up and asked, ''What''s this, Mama?'' Being the good mama that I am

I answered simply and honestly, ''A condom.'' He said, ''Oh'' and put it down and found the crayon he wanted and toddled off. End of story (or so I thought), and I was feeling pretty smug and proud of myself thinking, ''See, that wasn''t so hard. Just answer them simply and honestly!'' and *pat, pat, patting* myself on the back.

TWO WEEKS later we were in our small neighborhood bank on Social Security/senior citizen day (and it was PACKED) and the teller says to my DS, ''Would you like a goodie?'' And she handed him a small blue square foil pack of sweet-tarts. He looked at it, smiled sweetly, and said clear as a bell and VERY LOUDLY, ''OHHHH! A CONDOM! Thank you!''

OMG!! Outta the mouths of babes for sure....

 

[hlmr]

Date: 6/28/2009 5:50:04 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 6/28/2009 8:24:27 AM
Author: Lynn B
When DS was about 2 1/2 he was rooting through our nightstand drawer looking for a crayon and he found a little blue foil condom pack. He held it up and asked, ''What''s this, Mama?'' Being the good mama that I am

I answered simply and honestly, ''A condom.'' He said, ''Oh'' and put it down and found the crayon he wanted and toddled off. End of story (or so I thought), and I was feeling pretty smug and proud of myself thinking, ''See, that wasn''t so hard. Just answer them simply and honestly!'' and *pat, pat, patting* myself on the back.

TWO WEEKS later we were in our small neighborhood bank on Social Security/senior citizen day (and it was PACKED) and the teller says to my DS, ''Would you like a goodie?'' And she handed him a small blue square foil pack of sweet-tarts. He looked at it, smiled sweetly, and said clear as a bell and VERY LOUDLY, ''OHHHH! A CONDOM! Thank you!''

OMG!! Outta the mouths of babes for sure....

Hehee! Aren''t kids great?!!