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Husband's and decorating...

Gypsy

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Does anyone's husbands notice the interior home design? Participate in the design (not testing a chair for comfort) aspects of how their home looks? Bring home or order art, or sheets, or lamps of their own volition? Or are these just thing that happen around them like the fairies tend to it magically.

My husband has OCD so when he's stressed and it isn't under control he is very much into his surroundings staying as they are. And he does have random opinions on things (ususally after I've returned or sold something he'll say.... I liked that x?? Really 6 years and not a word but the day I sell it you like it?), but besides that the fairy theory holds sway with him.

I am curious about how other's husbands are.
 

CJ2008

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Mine is opininated - so when I bring things home - a cushion, sheets, towels, art - he definitely either likes it or doesn't. Luckily, we have very similar taste so if he doesn't like it I probably don't either (I've returned sooooo many cushions once I see them on the couch :roll: )

He's also better than I am at anticipating what may/may not be good about something (e.g., cushions that crinkle) so sometimes he's more picky than I am.

He'll mention things like "we need something to hang on that wall" "we need new sheets" "we need curtains" - but I remember him only ONCE going out and shopping for any of these things himself (sheets) - most of the time I go and find these things myself, although we do go together if it's to look for "big" stuff like furniture, bar stools (which we need and can't find ones we like), dining room table, etc.
 

Gypsy

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CJ2008|1453014047|3977153 said:
Mine is opinionated - so when I bring things home - a cushion, sheets, towels, art - he definitely either likes it or doesn't. Luckily, we have very similar taste so if he doesn't like it I probably don't either (I've returned sooooo many cushions once I see them on the couch :roll: )

He's also better than I am at anticipating what may/may not be good about something (e.g., cushions that crinkle) so sometimes he's more picky than I am.

He'll mention things like "we need something to hang on that wall" "we need new sheets" "we need curtains" - but I remember him only ONCE going out and shopping for any of these things himself (sheets) - most of the time I go and find these things myself, although we do go together if it's to look for "big" stuff like furniture, bar stools (which we need and can't find ones we like), dining room table, etc.


Oh that's interesting. Yeah mine generally doesn't offer opinions on things unless I prod him to. He is better in some respects with practical stuff. He's definitely better with comfort. But beyond kitchen stuff I don't think he's ever said, "we need..." followed by something for the house like 'an end table,' or 'sheets' or anything of the sort.

I just bought a dresser off craigslist. It's a very large dresser. VERY large. Like the largest dresser anyone has ever seen. Every time I ask him what he thinks of it he says, "It's big." Then he mutters, "It's going to be a b**ch to move. Maybe we just won't move. I don't want to move it." I can't help but snicker.

He drives me nutty sometimes, though. One time he made a statement about how much he spends versus how much I spend. And I was like... WTF do you buy? I do 95% of the grocery shopping, all the home decorating and replacing things that break or tear or get otherwise destroyed (6 cats), I am the one who reminds you to buy clothes or buys them for you or with you. You buy three things: alcohol occasionally, lunch, and video games. Do you think the other stuff just magically appears? No, someone, namely ME has to go out and buy it. And yes, that costs money.

He was grumpy about that. But couldn't counter it.

In the kitchen he usually is the instigator (I still buy the stuff but he'll be the one who thinks its needed). He's the reason I even own a stand mixer, or a dutch oven, or a salad spinner. I probably still wouldn't own any of them if not for him. The stand mixer isn't something I would have ever bought, same with the salad spinner. I have drooled over dutch ovens but they are so expensive that I probably never would have bought one. But the rest of the house, nope.
 

diamondringlover

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my hubby doesn't care what I do as long as nothing is painted pink or has too much floral anything he is good to go lol
 

Jennifer W

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Decorating isn't a talent of mine, so i pretty much let him get on with it. He's a architect, I figure he should know what he's doing. He does make me feel like I'm helping, which is thoughtful.
 

Matata

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Gypsy|1453011880|3977150 said:
Does anyone's husbands notice the interior home design? Participate in the design (not testing a chair for comfort) aspects of how their home looks? Bring home or order art, or sheets, or lamps of their own volition? Or are these just thing that happen around them like the fairies tend to it magically.

Gypsy, I laughed so hard when I read this I nearly fell off my chair. My husband doesn't notice any changes I make to this house. New furniture....it takes him at least 6 mos to a year to notice and he always asks "was that always there?" This is a man who thinks furniture is a waste of space. He'd live on the floor if given the chance.

All he ever contributed when we did a whole house redecorating a few years ago was that he liked modern. I showed him pics and samples and every so often he'd say "that's nice." So I bought what I wanted righteous in the knowledge that he forsook the opportunity for input and had no right to complain about anything after the fact.
 

ihy138

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He has opinions in regards to new items' functionality and whether they will make his life easier or harder. For example, I recently bought these adorable plates, but they aren't dishwasher safe and he was annoyed by that. As far as style of decor, he rarely has input. I always say that if I left it up to my husband, our home would have bare walls. He usually doubts my "vision" though, but eventually comes around. I'm the one with OCD. My husband knows that I have a very specific process for decorating or organizing. He's just along for the ride - poor guy.
 

packrat

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Mine doesn't notice things, but I don't really do things w/out talking about it-I keep sheets until they're see thru, and when I bought curtains, I told him I wanted to get thermal black out curtains, these are what I'm looking at, what do you think? I know he doesn't go for much floral/girlie stuff, but I don't really either, so that's not a problem. When I want to repaint, I go get chips of colors and tape them to the wall so he can get used to going from off white walls to burnt orange. We go furniture shopping together, and that happens so rarely-we're on our third living room set in 14 years, and everything else is the same.
 

dk168

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One of the many qualities that I missed about my late partner was his love for interior decorations.

He and I would spend hours walking around homeware shops looking for ideas and inspirations when we were at home or on holidays.

He was very clear about how he wanted to have his own home laid out (it was a houseboat that was built from scratch to his own specifications and design), kitted out and decorated.

He was very good at paintings and simple DIY, and he did all the interior painting for my house.

DK :))
 

packrat

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I should add that, when we first were married, we went to the Home Show in the city every year, bringing home stacks and stacks of brochures and things from the vendors we liked. We spent every weekend driving to the city to wander around Menards, and then Lowe's and Home Depot when they came to town. We talk endlessly about what we'd like to do, had we the money and time. I've got boards on Pinterest that I go thru w/him on ideas for the various rooms in the house. He likes my plans. I just can't get him to do them.
 
Q

Queenie60

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My husband isn't interested in being involved with the house stuff. I stay out of his way with his work and he stays out of my way with the house. We've been married for so long, he likes my tastes and trust that I will shop to get the best for my money. I always run the larger projects of $5,000 or more by him first but he usually doesn't care that I'm changing something around or upgrading. He just likes to come home to the warmth of his castle! I'm lucky in that regard.
 

Mayk

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I also married an Architect... He's all about everything we do. His taste is better too.
 

monarch64

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Haha...no, my husband isn't into decor, but he loves to build things so sometimes I work around that. Bookcases, desks, etc. He built our daughter's changing table/dresser. His designs are simple but elegant and easy to fit into any aesthetic, really, so it's never been an issue to work around. We like affordable and un-embellished; our home decor is very jeans-and-button-downs comfort. I think we'll be ready for more style and will lean toward more elegant/chic in the coming years when we leave our kid-friendly house and find something that lends itself to more sophisticated decor and less children-live-here simplicity. For now, he goes along with whatever I feel is appropriate because I have a great eye for textiles as far as colors/texture/pattern/scale, and I imagine that trend will continue, as will the trend that he chooses or makes furniture pieces because he is more knowledgeable about how well-made they are or makes them himself. I highly doubt we'd ever start our own interior design firm, but we make a good team on our own for ourselves. Long story short: he has opinions but trusts my vision.
 

Arcadian

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I typically get "I don't care as long as its not pink" statement. Funny enough he's picked stuff that bordered on pink...i just figured he's color blind...lol
 

monarch64

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Arcadian|1453072031|3977278 said:
I typically get "I don't care as long as its not pink" statement. Funny enough he's picked stuff that bordered on pink...i just figured he's color blind...lol

Oh, this made me laugh!!! This has little to do with your post, but my ex-husband was SO adamantly against pink that he wouldn't even "allow" me to put a pink, sparkly collar on our female puppy. After I left the marriage, I basically started over and had to buy a lot of things again, so (mainly out of spite) I bought every damn pink KitchenAid utensil/appliance/gadget I could find for my apartment. When I met my now-husband he totally fueled my pink fire and started finding me crazy stuff like antique pink ice cream makers, pink metal colanders, pots and pans, you name it. He's such a keeper.

Arcadian, your husband probably has some idea that pink has to be girly/bubble-gum/floral/feminine and that is so funny he picks things that are bordering on pink! I love it. Now I want to know if he wears pink shirts or ties--I LOVE it when guys wear pink! (But I love "preppy" so there's that.) Sorry if I'm making weird assumptions. I don't mean to, I am unashamedly projecting here. :lol:
 

Arcadian

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monarch64|1453072663|3977282 said:
Arcadian|1453072031|3977278 said:
I typically get "I don't care as long as its not pink" statement. Funny enough he's picked stuff that bordered on pink...i just figured he's color blind...lol

Oh, this made me laugh!!! This has little to do with your post, but my ex-husband was SO adamantly against pink that he wouldn't even "allow" me to put a pink, sparkly collar on our female puppy. After I left the marriage, I basically started over and had to buy a lot of things again, so (mainly out of spite) I bought every damn pink KitchenAid utensil/appliance/gadget I could find for my apartment. When I met my now-husband he totally fueled my pink fire and started finding me crazy stuff like antique pink ice cream makers, pink metal colanders, pots and pans, you name it. He's such a keeper.

Arcadian, your husband probably has some idea that pink has to be girly/bubble-gum/floral/feminine and that is so funny he picks things that are bordering on pink! I love it. Now I want to know if he wears pink shirts or ties--I LOVE it when guys wear pink! (But I love "preppy" so there's that.) Sorry if I'm making weird assumptions. I don't mean to, I am unashamedly projecting here. :lol:


Oh no, its ok. He's older so has got his own ideas for sure so I think its partially an era thing too.

He (fortunate for him) looks terrible in most pinks. There is a silvery pink/dusky rose that looks amazing on him but its a rarity. And funny, he doesn't count it as PINK... :lol: He's fine with the dog wearing pink, he sprung for her super girl collar after all!! In his mind its because she's a girl after all.

With decorating the house, he'd rather I pick it out because according to him, I have better taste pay more attention to the details, and he just ends up losing his will to live after a while. Its not that his tastes are really bad, but, he won't take chances that I would.

For instance we were redoing the kitchen in 2004, he asked me how did I figure brown went with blue. (oh boy....lol) So I had to point out the obvious; we have BROWN WOOD FLOORS, and BROWN CORK FLOORS everywhere. Then I took the paint chips and put them on top of that. He saw the light... :lol: After that, he let me do whatever I wanted "within reason", i.e., the no pink rule.
 

monarch64

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Arcadian|1453074276|3977291 said:
monarch64|1453072663|3977282 said:
Arcadian|1453072031|3977278 said:
I typically get "I don't care as long as its not pink" statement. Funny enough he's picked stuff that bordered on pink...i just figured he's color blind...lol

Oh, this made me laugh!!! This has little to do with your post, but my ex-husband was SO adamantly against pink that he wouldn't even "allow" me to put a pink, sparkly collar on our female puppy. After I left the marriage, I basically started over and had to buy a lot of things again, so (mainly out of spite) I bought every damn pink KitchenAid utensil/appliance/gadget I could find for my apartment. When I met my now-husband he totally fueled my pink fire and started finding me crazy stuff like antique pink ice cream makers, pink metal colanders, pots and pans, you name it. He's such a keeper.

Arcadian, your husband probably has some idea that pink has to be girly/bubble-gum/floral/feminine and that is so funny he picks things that are bordering on pink! I love it. Now I want to know if he wears pink shirts or ties--I LOVE it when guys wear pink! (But I love "preppy" so there's that.) Sorry if I'm making weird assumptions. I don't mean to, I am unashamedly projecting here. :lol:


Oh no, its ok. He's older so has got his own ideas for sure so I think its partially an era thing too.

He (fortunate for him) looks terrible in most pinks. There is a silvery pink/dusky rose that looks amazing on him but its a rarity. And funny, he doesn't count it as PINK... :lol: He's fine with the dog wearing pink, he sprung for her super girl collar after all!! In his mind its because she's a girl after all.

With decorating the house, he'd rather I pick it out because according to him, I have better taste pay more attention to the details, and he just ends up losing his will to live after a while. Its not that his tastes are really bad, but, he won't take chances that I would.

For instance we were redoing the kitchen in 2004, he asked me how did I figure brown went with blue. (oh boy....lol) So I had to point out the obvious; we have BROWN WOOD FLOORS, and BROWN CORK FLOORS everywhere. Then I took the paint chips and put them on top of that. He saw the light... :lol: After that, he let me do whatever I wanted "within reason", i.e., the no pink rule.

I'm so glad you got him to see the light with brown/blue! We have a ton of woodwork and brown in our home too and I added lots of green to make an earthy, neutral, nature-esque palette to offset all the browns! I love earth tones, but they need color so you don't feel like you're living in the woods! No pink sounds completely fair on his part...except for the darling doggie, of course. :)) Also your comment about him losing his will to live over details cracked me up!
 

VapidLapid

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while there was nothing normal about out lives or use of space, the decor issue was always difficult for DW and me.

I keep a 400 sq ft space in the basement for my darkroom. DW was an aerospace welder, producing aluminum parts for things like the space station and the sapce shuttle. Later she became the welding instructor at a city high school specialized for the airline industries. But more importantly she was a hoarder. Yes it was as bad as the tv shows. i will not dewll on the hoarding as it is a different topic. DW was already well stuffed in the loft when I arrived on the scene. among the first decorating i did, without discussion or objection, was to sheetrock, mud and paint the ceilings. there were some walls too that needed isulating and then finishing. in the bathroom the pink motif was due to the bare glass wool insulation. the bathtub had a black vinyl welding curtain stapled to the bare wall around it. I rockd the ceiling. then tore down the curtain and did a complete tiling job with accumulated materials, and some large sheets of milk glass that i had left over from an old project. the kitchen was a disaster. there were really cheep wall cabinets from the 70s sitting on the floor with repurposed plywood across them as counters. there was one hotplate, and electric kettle and a microwave. I trashed all that, since it was trash. back in the day the Bowery was nothing but junkies and reestaurant equipment wholesalers. I bought stainless reestaurant tables with drawers, and shelves. I cut out a section from the top of one of the tables to drop a sink into. i had a cast off 83" polished slab of granite that i spanned across the margins of two steel tables. I bought a countertop commerrcial oven, and induction cooktop. In the 18 x 26' livingroom there were five couches. only one of them was worth keeping, and that only for sentimental reasons; it had been in DWs childhood home. All the lighting was just bare bulbs in ceramic sockets in the ceiling. I bought fixtures and installed them.

Now, after months of misery going through literally tons of crap, the last couch is gone. i just received six custom venitian blinds from the shade store, of ebony. i am painting the livingroom a gentlemanly dark green, and my new chairs from poltrona frau have arrived! I will install them next week.



eta, I am working on changing the frames around the windows. the one that is visible was just done , but not primed or painted yet.

_1556.jpeg
 

baby monster

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We have to agree on everything big that comes into the house - paint, tile, fixtures. furniture, lighting, curtains, art, etc. He has never ever said anything about linens I buy. DH won't go out on his own to actually buy anything but will go with me wherever I take him. We're looking to replace some light fixtures and so far we visited 5 showrooms and finally agreed on couple lights. It can be hard sometimes as he has very particular taste so I find disinterested husbands refreshing ;))
 

ponder

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My DH is very colorblind, but as I like to say "He can see ugly". DH usually refers to my design choices but he enjoys doing it with me. Antique mall, he's in. Furniture shopping, totally in. Picking accent pillows, not so much. He is more a big picture guy and leaves the details to me. Luckily we do have a similar design sense so we rarely disagree. Two years ago we had a custom dining table made. 12 feet long and seats 14, 18 if we squish. All my friends comment that they love it and want to know how I talked him into it. It was all him. Dimensions, design, distressing, stain...
 

december-fire

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VapidLapid,

That's so interesting that your DW created items for the space station and space shuttle! Sounds like she had a fascinating career!

Your living room is looking great! It seems like it will be a cozy place to sit and read or relax.

I hope you don't mind me mentioning that I'm glad to see you back on PS. After reading about your DW's passing, I've been thinking about you and wondering how you've been doing. Its nice to see you back.

Oh, I'm curious about your coffee table; it appears to be made from a tree. Something on the coffee table looks like a slice from a tree trunk. Perhaps I just have trees on my mind. The table and the object on top look beautiful!
 

yennyfire

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Nice to "see" you back VL! Hope you're doing ok.

My DHs favorite expression when I ask his opinion about something house/decor related is: "my taste is in my mouth". While I get no interference in the decorating choices I make, I also get no help/sounding board, which would be nice sometimes....

I just finished our Master bedroom and bath and it totally stressed me out!
 

december-fire

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Gypsy,

This is an interesting thread. Thanks for starting it.

Some of the responses are hilarious! I love the 'has that always been there?' comment! Too funny! :lol:


Monarch64,

I laughed when I read that your ex-husband didn't even 'allow' a pink collar for the puppy, and your now-husband buys all kinds of pink-coloured items for you! Good for him!
 

kenny

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We are both tasteless tacky dolts.

We need some of those straight men to decorate our home. :lol:
Ladies, are your husbands free?
 

Gypsy

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Matata|1453059628|3977179 said:
Gypsy, I laughed so hard when I read this I nearly fell off my chair. My husband doesn't notice any changes I make to this house. New furniture....it takes him at least 6 mos to a year to notice and he always asks "was that always there?" This is a man who thinks furniture is a waste of space. He'd live on the floor if given the chance.
Well, I laughed at your "was that always there?" That's awesome.

I'm in the middle of a budget redecorate of our furnishings, almost done. So this has been on my mind.
 

VapidLapid

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December and Yenny, thank you both for your welcome and your kind thoughts.

DW had a tremendously fulfilling career. she dragged home for her own sculpture projects nearly every scrap of aerospace grade aluminum that she could, while being paid considerably less than men doing the same or lesser work. But teaching was her proudest twenty-one years. She made a significant difference in many student lives, and former students from all years showed up at the end to thank her. i am making her urn out of cutoffs and a nose cone.

the coffee table is a work in progress. it is a 4" thick slab of makamong burl. i am making piers for the two cut ends of camphor burl. currently it is just resting on two 5 1/2 sq x 11" blocks of camphor burl. the wooden vessels on top were carved by me. the 6 platinum prints on the corner are my work, as are the photos on the table and the color photo on the wall. i made the east indian rosewood frame for that too, from the scraps of same board i had gotten for making instruments. we are very diy.
 

Gypsy

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VP your wife sounds AMAZING.
 

CJ2008

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Gypsy|1453014896|3977156 said:
CJ2008|1453014047|3977153 said:
Mine is opinionated - so when I bring things home - a cushion, sheets, towels, art - he definitely either likes it or doesn't. Luckily, we have very similar taste so if he doesn't like it I probably don't either (I've returned sooooo many cushions once I see them on the couch :roll: )

He's also better than I am at anticipating what may/may not be good about something (e.g., cushions that crinkle) so sometimes he's more picky than I am.

He'll mention things like "we need something to hang on that wall" "we need new sheets" "we need curtains" - but I remember him only ONCE going out and shopping for any of these things himself (sheets) - most of the time I go and find these things myself, although we do go together if it's to look for "big" stuff like furniture, bar stools (which we need and can't find ones we like), dining room table, etc.


Oh that's interesting. Yeah mine generally doesn't offer opinions on things unless I prod him to. He is better in some respects with practical stuff. He's definitely better with comfort. But beyond kitchen stuff I don't think he's ever said, "we need..." followed by something for the house like 'an end table,' or 'sheets' or anything of the sort.

I just bought a dresser off craigslist. It's a very large dresser. VERY large. Like the largest dresser anyone has ever seen. Every time I ask him what he thinks of it he says, "It's big." Then he mutters, "It's going to be a b**ch to move. Maybe we just won't move. I don't want to move it." I can't help but snicker.

He drives me nutty sometimes, though. One time he made a statement about how much he spends versus how much I spend. And I was like... WTF do you buy? I do 95% of the grocery shopping, all the home decorating and replacing things that break or tear or get otherwise destroyed (6 cats), I am the one who reminds you to buy clothes or buys them for you or with you. You buy three things: alcohol occasionally, lunch, and video games. Do you think the other stuff just magically appears? No, someone, namely ME has to go out and buy it. And yes, that costs money.

He was grumpy about that. But couldn't counter it.

In the kitchen he usually is the instigator (I still buy the stuff but he'll be the one who thinks its needed). He's the reason I even own a stand mixer, or a dutch oven, or a salad spinner. I probably still wouldn't own any of them if not for him. The stand mixer isn't something I would have ever bought, same with the salad spinner. I have drooled over dutch ovens but they are so expensive that I probably never would have bought one. But the rest of the house, nope.

Yes...mine is very...aware. Like everything, that has its pros and cons.

I love it that he's involved and I love it that our tastes are similar and so can be fun looking for things and even sharing the excitement when I bring something home and it looks good.

But sometimes I do wish he would take the initiative to go out and look for some of the things he says we need (which by the way in our case it's often right). Now if I am not busy or I'm in the mood to go shopping then sometimes it's fun to add it to my list of things to look for. But sometimes it becomes another thing on the list (especially when I know it will probably involve a lot of trial and error and going back to the store to return). But then I'll just take my time actually going out there to look for whatever it is.

No way would I be able to bring home a dresser that he didn't see first much less a huge one I couldn't return. I keep visualizing your husband looking at the dresser sideways like not even wanting to really SEE it, and saying "it's big". ::)
 

missy

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My dh is very aware of everything and also very involved in any and all decorating/renovating we do. In fact he is super picky and we disagreed about our kitchen reno in 2003/2004 and because it was so important to him I let him choose our counter material (honed black granite whereas I wanted white Silestone) and cabinets. He let me choose our 48 inch subzero so we compromised that way.

It can be a pain actually when your husband has very definite opinions about things because then you have to work together and come to a happy solution when you don't agree so it makes life more difficult at times. But it is nice that he cares and is involved because he has excellent taste (probably better than mine) so it is helpful that way.

Since my dh also does woodworking he has made many things for us too and he really notices details and always makes things that are beautiful with that level of special detail.

And truth be told I prefer him to be interested in these things because it usually makes my life much easier and he does have fantastic taste. He ended up with me right? 8)

Gypsy good luck with your redecorating project. I am enjoying reading your thread and seeing how everyone else's SO is with this issue. So interesting and so varied.

Vapid, I love your coffee table.

MayK, mine too. :bigsmile:

Baby Monster Good luck with your project and haha yes sometimes uninterested husbands can be refreshing LOL. I remember when we were planning the wedding and he was disagreeing about something- maybe the menu? I don't remember but I remember saying to him that the men weren't supposed to care about these things. :lol:
 

Amber St. Clare

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My husband is totally bored by all things décor and decorating. Could not care less.

When we first married I bought three different shades of blue, painted a swatch of each on the bedroom wall and asked him which he liked best. He shrugged and said "they're blue" I said "but there's a subtle difference among them" to which he replied "don't bother me about subtleties". And I haven't since then.

I have more or less a free hand in all things home. I did the living room, picked out the wallpaper, carpet, etc. it looked very traditional. So I found two tacky candelabras-cupids holding the candles and he NEVER NOTICED. {I like to say I live at the corner where taste meets tacky.} And they are really had to ignore. But he did, until guests noticed them and spent 25 minutes on how odd they were. They had been in the house for 6 months.

So short answer--the husband is positively indifferent.
 
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