Wedding How to find an efficient?

[sna77]

We''ve been having the hardest time finding an efficient or Justice of the Peace for our New Jersey wedding... We actually found someone, and he cancelled on us or a family thing that came up… Ugh…

Anyhow, we aren’t religious at all, and don’t want a minister, priest, or really anyone to perform a religious ceremony… Anyone have any suggestions on where to find someone?
Thanks!

 

[zoebartlett]

Does your vendor have a wedding coordinator? That''s how we found our first officiant.

The coordinators at our venue gave us a list of recommended officiants and they specifically mentioned one in particular. We met her and we knew right away that she was who we wanted. We booked her but a few months later she had to cancel. She gave us the name of someone who she knows and we''ve booked this new officiant (who''s great as well).

I''d start off by contacting your venue and see if someone there can give you any recommendations.

 

[sna77]

Date: 4/13/2008 7:51:34 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett
Does your vendor have a wedding coordinator? That''s how we found our first officiant.

The coordinators at our venue gave us a list of recommended officiants and they specifically mentioned one in particular. We met her and we knew right away that she was who we wanted. We booked her but a few months later she had to cancel. She gave us the name of someone who she knows and we''ve booked this new officiant (who''s great as well).

I''d start off by contacting your venue and see if someone there can give you any recommendations.

yup, that was where we looked first... Just had a few religious people listed and that was it...

 

[ladyciel]

I second Zoe's suggestion. We just booked our officiant this past Thursday, and she was recommended to us separately by both our ceremony and our reception venues upon hearing we were not the church-wedding type. Our officiant is actually a social worker/counselor by training. She works a lot with couples, and she decided she wanted to help them by performing weddings. Since the state of MI doesn't have Justice of the Peace anymore (no clue why), she got her certification through the Universal Life Church. Also known as "that internet church that will ordain anybody who asks". So, she's technically a "minister", but she considers herself to be one in name only. She mostly performs civil ceremonies. If you have a family member or friend who you would consider asking to marry you, having them be ordained by the ULC might be an option. Good luck!

ETA: sorry, we were typing at the same time. Maybe contact the local courthouse and see if the office that handles marriage licenses can give you some names?

 

[NewEnglandLady]

We found our JOP through a Massachusetts wedding site--we interviewed a few in our area and chose the one whose views of marriage most closely aligned with ours. There are a ton of websites devoted to JOPs and officients in NJ, here are a few:

http://www.weddingministers.com/Listings.php?location=New+Jersey
http://www.gatheringguide.com/event_directory/rc/nj_new_jersey/evl_wedding_officiants.html
http://www.allweddingcompanies.com/ceremony/ministers/new_jersey/index.html

 

[dani13]

Sna-

We had an officiant based here in NJ marry us (he actually lives in our town), but he traveled up to our wedding venue, which was in NY. He is awesome and really just a nice person..We received many compliments on him from our guests at the wedding. He did a beautiful job with our ceremony. If you would like his contact info, let me know.

 

[Haven]

Depending on your state laws, you may be able to have a family member or friend become a certified minister via a group such as the Church of Spiritual Humanism. A colleague of mine did that and officiated at his brother''s wedding, it was their way of making the ceremony even more meaningful. (I believe he simply had to apply online and send in a small fee to become "ordained")

Did you try a google search for an "officiant" in New Jersey? Perhaps the spelling is throwing you off and that''s why nothing is coming up. I know a lot of officiants advertise their services via the Internet.

Good luck!

 

[miraclesrule]

I think having someone who knows the couple is always better than someone who doesn''t. But that is a personal preference. My daughter was asked to officiate at her friends wedding and so she became certified over the internet so she could legally do so. She has asked a very good friend and former co-worker to officiate at her wedding. Good luck. You''ll find exactly what you need.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Most judges don't really like doing weddings. We found ours because he was featured in the local paper since he loves to do them. How could we pass up Herby the love judge? Actually we love him and we were really glad we found him. You might try talking to your vendors, if they do weddings then they should know the people in the area.

Could the one who canceled recommend someone?

My brother is approved to do weddings and I didn't want him to do it. I prefered the idea of someone who had done weddings before and so truely knew what they werew doing.

 

[sna77]

Date: 4/13/2008 8:45:11 PM
Author: Dani
Sna-

We had an officiant based here in NJ marry us (he actually lives in our town), but he traveled up to our wedding venue, which was in NY. He is awesome and really just a nice person..We received many compliments on him from our guests at the wedding. He did a beautiful job with our ceremony. If you would like his contact info, let me know.

Date: 4/13/2008 8:45:11 PM
Author: Dani
Sna-

We had an officiant based here in NJ marry us (he actually lives in our town), but he traveled up to our wedding venue, which was in NY. He is awesome and really just a nice person..We received many compliments on him from our guests at the wedding. He did a beautiful job with our ceremony. If you would like his contact info, let me know.

That would be great, thanks Dani!

Thanks everyone else for the suggestions.. ive suggested the Internet JOP thing to Lin a few times and was told "our wedding is not a joke." booo. Looks like they need some expereince to satisfy her...

 

[basil]

We ended up doing a search on the Knot for officiants ("In your area" tab) and then emailing a bunch. We picked based on price, availability and flexibility. We kind of just wanted someone to read a standard ceremony for us, though, so we were not too picky.

 

[dani13]

Sna-

Sure! His name is John Graf, and his website is http://www.theministerman.com/. I hope its ok to post his info on here.....He owns his own business... he is an interfaith minister/officiant. He really understood that we wanted a spiritual, yet non-religious ceremony, and he did a wonderful job with it. Just email him and he will answer quickly....wonderful guy. I hope he is available for your date...

What place are you guys getting married at in NJ? Just curious....

 

[sna77]

Date: 4/14/2008 5:32:17 AM
Author: Dani
Sna-

Sure! His name is John Graf, and his website is http://www.theministerman.com/. I hope its ok to post his info on here.....He owns his own business... he is an interfaith minister/officiant. He really understood that we wanted a spiritual, yet non-religious ceremony, and he did a wonderful job with it. Just email him and he will answer quickly....wonderful guy. I hope he is available for your date...

What place are you guys getting married at in NJ? Just curious....

Thanks Dani, will give him a call. We are getting married at the Skylands Castle: http://www.frungillo.com/frungillo_new/skylands/index.htm

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 4/13/2008 9:27:22 PM
Author: brazen_irish_hussy
Most judges don't really like doing weddings.

I have to disagree with that...many judges I know love doing weddings! So much happier than their daily lives as judges. As a matter of fact the head of our supreme court here does weddings all the time. THAT is pretty cool IMO.

Also Sna, not to be a pain, but when you are searching online are you typing "efficient"? Because it is an "officiant" so that may be why you don't get many local hits...

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 4/14/2008 3:04:54 PM
Author: sna77

Date: 4/14/2008 5:32:17 AM
Author: Dani
Sna-

Sure! His name is John Graf, and his website is http://www.theministerman.com/. I hope its ok to post his info on here.....He owns his own business... he is an interfaith minister/officiant. He really understood that we wanted a spiritual, yet non-religious ceremony, and he did a wonderful job with it. Just email him and he will answer quickly....wonderful guy. I hope he is available for your date...

What place are you guys getting married at in NJ? Just curious....

Thanks Dani, will give him a call. We are getting married at the Skylands Castle: http://www.frungillo.com/frungillo_new/skylands/index.htm

Sna, I can''t help chiming in but where you are getting married is so beautiful; also, I enjoy reading your posts!!! You and your FI are adorable.

 

[golden]

You should call The Skylands and see if they know anyone

 

[sna77]

Date: 4/14/2008 3:12:31 PM
Author: neatfreak
Also Sna, not to be a pain, but when you are searching online are you typing ''efficient''? Because it is an ''officiant'' so that may be why you don''t get many local hits...

Yeah stupid Microsoft Word auto corrected it with an "e" instead of an "o". Was searchiung properly, except for this post...

 

[sna77]

Date: 4/14/2008 3:24:53 PM
Author: Skippy123

Sna, I can''t help chiming in but where you are getting married is so beautiful; also, I enjoy reading your posts!!! You and your FI are adorable.

Thanks! When we first got enagged, we agreed to Newport, RI on the beach... Somehow this has transformed into New Jersey, America''s armpit. As you can guess, I lost this battle... Oyy... Anyhow, I got full control over the honeymoon becasue of it. Haaaaaaaaa

 

[golden]

Date: 4/14/2008 5:59:29 PM
Author: sna77

Date: 4/14/2008 3:24:53 PM
Author: Skippy123

Sna, I can't help chiming in but where you are getting married is so beautiful; also, I enjoy reading your posts!!! You and your FI are adorable.

Thanks! When we first got enagged, we agreed to Newport, RI on the beach... Somehow this has transformed into New Jersey, America's armpit. As you can guess, I lost this battle... Oyy... Anyhow, I got full control over the honeymoon becasue of it. Haaaaaaaaa

I'm so confused as to how NJ got such a bad rep, the "armpit of America" ?! I was born in Manhattan, but have always lived in NJ. NJ has some of the most expensive towns in America.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 4/14/2008 5:59:29 PM
Author: sna77

Date: 4/14/2008 3:24:53 PM
Author: Skippy123

Sna, I can''t help chiming in but where you are getting married is so beautiful; also, I enjoy reading your posts!!! You and your FI are adorable.

Thanks! When we first got enagged, we agreed to Newport, RI on the beach... Somehow this has transformed into New Jersey, America''s armpit. As you can guess, I lost this battle... Oyy... Anyhow, I got full control over the honeymoon becasue of it. Haaaaaaaaa

hehe, my hubby got control of our honeymoon too!

Where are you guys going?

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 4/14/2008 6:24:03 PM
Author: golden

Date: 4/14/2008 5:59:29 PM

Author: sna77

Date: 4/14/2008 3:24:53 PM

Author: Skippy123


Sna, I can''t help chiming in but where you are getting married is so beautiful; also, I enjoy reading your posts!!! You and your FI are adorable.

Thanks! When we first got enagged, we agreed to Newport, RI on the beach... Somehow this has transformed into New Jersey, America''s armpit. As you can guess, I lost this battle... Oyy... Anyhow, I got full control over the honeymoon becasue of it. Haaaaaaaaa

I''m so confused as to how NJ got such a bad rep, the ''armpit of America'' ?! I was born in Manhattan, but have always lived in NJ. NJ has some of the most expensive towns in America.

NJ has some beautiful places, but it also has some of the most craptastic places in America too. And most people haven''t been to the nice parts in western NJ.

 

[sna77]

Date: 4/14/2008 6:24:03 PM
Author: golden

Date: 4/14/2008 5:59:29 PM
Author: sna77

Date: 4/14/2008 3:24:53 PM
Author: Skippy123

Sna, I can''t help chiming in but where you are getting married is so beautiful; also, I enjoy reading your posts!!! You and your FI are adorable.

Thanks! When we first got enagged, we agreed to Newport, RI on the beach... Somehow this has transformed into New Jersey, America''s armpit. As you can guess, I lost this battle... Oyy... Anyhow, I got full control over the honeymoon becasue of it. Haaaaaaaaa

I''m so confused as to how NJ got such a bad rep, the ''armpit of America'' ?! I was born in Manhattan, but have always lived in NJ. NJ has some of the most expensive towns in America.

I was born in Boston, and lived in Manhattan for 8 years when I graduated college, and am marrying a girl from northern NJ suburbs (who lived in NYC). Expensive real estate does not make a nice state. NJ is the most filthy, corrupt, tacky place I''ve ever been... OK, maybe slight exxageration... But the state is an odd mix of strip malls, pinky rings, gold chains, and vinyl siding... From an architectual standpoint its a disgrace...

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Well, your wedding location must be THE bright spot in NJ! It is gorgeous! I really hope you and Lin will post pictures here after your wedding. I''d love to see them and I am sure others would, too!

 

[sna77]

Date: 4/14/2008 10:59:21 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Well, your wedding location must be THE bright spot in NJ! It is gorgeous! I really hope you and Lin will post pictures here after your wedding. I''d love to see them and I am sure others would, too!

haha, thanks... Its actually right on the NY border and looks nothing like the rest of northern jersey--that was the only way she could get me to agree to it.

And Dani, we have an appointment with your guy next weekend (along with 3 others Lin found today)... Planning a wedding is nooooooooooo fun at all... I don''t really even have time to plan much of the honeymoon I''ve been so busy at work...

 

[dani13]

Date: 4/14/2008 11:30:47 PM
Author: sna77

Date: 4/14/2008 10:59:21 PM

Author: diamondseeker2006

Well, your wedding location must be THE bright spot in NJ! It is gorgeous! I really hope you and Lin will post pictures here after your wedding. I'd love to see them and I am sure others would, too!

haha, thanks... Its actually right on the NY border and looks nothing like the rest of northern jersey--that was the only way she could get me to agree to it.





And Dani, we have an appointment with your guy next weekend (along with 3 others Lin found today)... Planning a wedding is nooooooooooo fun at all... I don't really even have time to plan much of the honeymoon I've been so busy at work...

Oh good! I think you are really going to like him alot... I like how he meets with his couples first before booking anything, you know? He came to our house for breakfast the first time we met eachother.... We just knew when we met him that he was the right person to marry us.

John is really sweet and genuine and he just does a really great job with everything. Good luck and let me know how it goes!!!

eta: I LOOVE the Skylands! Your wedding will be gorgeous! And you better post some pics-LOL!

 

[blushingbride]

Date: 4/14/2008 11:30:47 PM
Author: sna77

Date: 4/14/2008 10:59:21 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Well, your wedding location must be THE bright spot in NJ! It is gorgeous! I really hope you and Lin will post pictures here after your wedding. I''d love to see them and I am sure others would, too!

haha, thanks... Its actually right on the NY border and looks nothing like the rest of northern jersey--that was the only way she could get me to agree to it.

And Dani, we have an appointment with your guy next weekend (along with 3 others Lin found today)... Planning a wedding is nooooooooooo fun at all... I don''t really even have time to plan much of the honeymoon I''ve been so busy at work...

Wow Sna - that place looks EXACTLY like our wedding venue - Castle on the Hudson in Tarrytown, NY. It''s beautiful!!! We also had a wonderful officiant who has an office in the city - do you live or work in NYC? His name is Rev. Jim Covington he performs religious and non-religous ceremonies. Everyone at our wedding loved him. He was also willing to travel to Westchester County for us to perform the ceremony.

 

[golden]

Date: 4/14/2008 8:28:59 PM
Author: sna77

Date: 4/14/2008 6:24:03 PM
Author: golden

Date: 4/14/2008 5:59:29 PM
Author: sna77

Date: 4/14/2008 3:24:53 PM
Author: Skippy123

Sna, I can''t help chiming in but where you are getting married is so beautiful; also, I enjoy reading your posts!!! You and your FI are adorable.

Thanks! When we first got enagged, we agreed to Newport, RI on the beach... Somehow this has transformed into New Jersey, America''s armpit. As you can guess, I lost this battle... Oyy... Anyhow, I got full control over the honeymoon becasue of it. Haaaaaaaaa

I''m so confused as to how NJ got such a bad rep, the ''armpit of America'' ?! I was born in Manhattan, but have always lived in NJ. NJ has some of the most expensive towns in America.

I was born in Boston, and lived in Manhattan for 8 years when I graduated college, and am marrying a girl from northern NJ suburbs (who lived in NYC). Expensive real estate does not make a nice state. NJ is the most filthy, corrupt, tacky place I''ve ever been... OK, maybe slight exxageration... But the state is an odd mix of strip malls, pinky rings, gold chains, and vinyl siding... From an architectual standpoint its a disgrace...

OH MAN! I am not even going to really get into this, but I don''t know where in Northern NJ you have been, nowhere in NJ have I even see what you are talking about- gold chains and pink rings? That is not NJ at all...and as far as vinyl siding hahaha NJ is definitely not the only place with it. And NJ does not only have expensive real estate, NJ has some of the top schools, and is usually in the top 10 places to live. I have lived in 3 different northen NJ towns and not one of them sounds anything like what you are talking about nor do any towns anywhere remotely close. And to anyone who is into pinky rings and gold chains, nothing wrong with it- I just havent seen it in NJ

 

[sna77]

Date: 4/15/2008 2:08:11 PM
Author: golden
OH MAN! I am not even going to really get into this, but I don''t know where in Northern NJ you have been, nowhere in NJ have I even see what you are talking about- gold chains and pink rings? That is not NJ at all...and as far as vinyl siding hahaha NJ is definitely not the only place with it. And NJ does not only have expensive real estate, NJ has some of the top schools, and is usually in the top 10 places to live. I have lived in 3 different northen NJ towns and not one of them sounds anything like what you are talking about nor do any towns anywhere remotely close. And to anyone who is into pinky rings and gold chains, nothing wrong with it- I just havent seen it in NJ

Haha... My FI didn''t realize it either... until she started trabeling across the country and started getting looks from people when she said she''s from NJ. haha.

And I''m only half serious... I get that NJ has nice parts... Its also the most densly populated state in the country, and as a sports fan I like to make fun of the fact that NJites root for NY sports teams becasue they dont have a city that anyone would ever wanty to visit... I''m from the Boston suburbs... New Englanders are supposed to feel like elitists towards NJ''ers... i think its a birth rite!

 

[sna77]

Date: 4/15/2008 1:48:58 PM
Author: blushingbride
Wow Sna - that place looks EXACTLY like our wedding venue - Castle on the Hudson in Tarrytown, NY. It''s beautiful!!! We also had a wonderful officiant who has an office in the city - do you live or work in NYC? His name is Rev. Jim Covington he performs religious and non-religous ceremonies. Everyone at our wedding loved him. He was also willing to travel to Westchester County for us to perform the ceremony.

A few people have mentioned the Castle in Tarrytown... Amazing, its practically identical... My FI and I met when we were both living and working in Manhattan... Shes from NJ, I''m the Boston suburb guy originally... And somehow I convnced her that Brookline, MA--with the top best public schools in the country, and nestled 2 minutes from Fenway--was the place to raise a family, so we moved here...

I''ll look up your reverend guy too.. Do you have any contact info for him?

Thanks!

 

[blushingbride]

Date: 4/15/2008 11:04:28 PM
Author: sna77

Date: 4/15/2008 1:48:58 PM
Author: blushingbride
Wow Sna - that place looks EXACTLY like our wedding venue - Castle on the Hudson in Tarrytown, NY. It''s beautiful!!! We also had a wonderful officiant who has an office in the city - do you live or work in NYC? His name is Rev. Jim Covington he performs religious and non-religous ceremonies. Everyone at our wedding loved him. He was also willing to travel to Westchester County for us to perform the ceremony.

A few people have mentioned the Castle in Tarrytown... Amazing, its practically identical... My FI and I met when we were both living and working in Manhattan... Shes from NJ, I''m the Boston suburb guy originally... And somehow I convnced her that Brookline, MA--with the top best public schools in the country, and nestled 2 minutes from Fenway--was the place to raise a family, so we moved here...

I''ll look up your reverend guy too.. Do you have any contact info for him?

Thanks!

I know both venues are gorgeous - you will love how the pics turn out! You guys picked a great area to live and not too far from NYC so, that I''m sure made your FI more willing to make the move. My sister and her husband used to live in the city and have since moved out to Riverdale (20 min. outside Manhattan), but they''ve been wrestling with the idea of moving to Boston. So, we''ll see if that eventually happens. I personally love it up there so, I''m all for it!

Here''s Jim Covington''s website: www.weddings-nondenom.com - again, he did a phenominal job with our non-religious ceremony. It was like he was telling a story and had known us for years. It was truly amazing to hear him speak. Good luck with whoever you decide to go with!