How soon did ya know he was the one?

[ephemery1]

Date: 12/13/2006 1:38:07 PM
Author: dtnyc
I am w/ sumbride- I think that there is more than just one person out there for everyone.

I agree with this too... I truly believe that marraige is a choice, not something pre-ordained or destined to be. You fall in love with someone who just feels right, then you make a mutual decision to commit yourselves to each other. But it is SO important to recognize that there are other people out there who will be attractive to you (emotionally, physically, or otherwise) over the years... and that''s what makes your vows so significant. You are not standing at the altar saying "I''m marrying you because you are the only one out there for me"... you''re saying "you are the one I have CHOSEN to honor and respect and love enough to forego all the others". I kinda think that''s even more beautiful...

 

[snlee]

Wow, I''m surprised at how quickly everyone knew he was the one! I guess I''m the odd ball here. I fell in love with him quickly but didn''t know he was THE one for sure till much later. Maybe because I was so young?

 

[musey]

We said "I love you" after two weeks--crazy, I know, and looking back on it it was still a very lusty stage and not really "love" until later. I'd say about 4 months in I "knew," had a momentary freakout at 8 months, and by 1 year I felt sure that he was my home (no freakouts since

).

 

[aljdewey]

I knew he was the one in about 3 weeks.......but we were older - both in mid to late 30s.

 

[San Diego Bride]

we knew very early as well. it was probably within the first 10 days or so. by the end of the first month we were looking for jobs in a new city together. it was particularly ironic since neither one of us had any plans to get married in life.

 

[RoseAngel04]

I knew pretty early on in our relationship that there was something different and very special about FI. We are also H.S. Sweethearts and I never imagined I'd find my future husband so young but I am very thankful and grateful that we did find each other early on and that we have gotten to and will continue to share all of our adult lives together. So, I don't know if there was a definite "aha" moment but more of a gradual feeling that we both had after getting to know one another better while watching our relationship grow. I do remember thinking "one day I'm gonna marry this guy" and he had the same thoughts he's told me. The real test was after he graduated H.S. and I had one more year left, but we made it and look at us now! Heading to the chapel!

I'm so blessed.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 12/13/2006 1:26:23 PM
Author: Hopes

Date: 12/13/2006 12:56:12 PM
Author: poptart

Date: 12/13/2006 10:13:14 AM
Author: robbie3982

Date: 12/13/2006 9:55:56 AM
Author: monarch64
I knew the first time he put his arm around me that I would end up marrying him. It was about 10 minutes after we met, lol. I just felt this sense of ''I''m home'' like walking in the door at night after a long hard day, to the comfort and familiarity and security of your own home and belongings. It was so overwhelming, I have never forgotten that feeling. He says he knew within a couple of weeks...

That was 5 years ago--my, how time flies!

I felt the same way! I didn''t know he was the one at that point, but I got that same feeling of comfort and ''I''m Home'' wash over me. It scared me! Lol. I''d just met him that day and was actually still sort of dating my college bf of 3.5 years.

I know what that feeling is! I am the type of person that HATES to be touched... as in, if you try to touch me I will back away because I hate it that much. But the first time we went out together with some friends, he instantly had his arm around me and I was amazed, but didn''t move away or feel awkward at all. I felt very safe, and still do everytime he hugs me!

*M*

Oh yes, exactly! I met my guy online, so I didn''t get to touch him until two years after I had fallen completely and totally in love with him (long story there). The first time we physically met, we went to a grocery store right after I got off the plane. The whole time I was thinking to myself, wow this feels so natural, like we''d been doing this for years! I''d never gone grocery shopping with anyone except family before that. Then when we got to his place, I sat on his bed and held his ferret in my lap, and everything felt so right.

He has always felt so comforting and familiar, and so right -- it''s like my body knows him from another life. I''ve never been with another guy that felt anything like that. I''m not religious, but in this regard I feel like there''s something really spiritual about our love, like we were meant to be soulmates, like it''s sealed in fate or something... yes I''m getting a little bit ridiculous, but that''s how I felt from day 1. I told him ''I love you'' without him knowing it the very first night I talked to him... anyway I''d better stop before I turn into mush. ^^;

I had to laugh (in a good way) when I read this. I''ve felt this before too. But I never married the guy. I just don''t believe in soulmates!

And speaking of "the one", I agree with the others. There is no ONE. There is someone you decide to make a commitment to. A long time ago, my friend told me she believed that there was that ONE person out there for her. Me being the horrible mischief maker that I am, asked her if she believed in free will. She did. So I asked her, "What if I decided not to be with my "one"? What if I decided to go be with someone else''s one? Wouldn''t that create a domino effect and screw things up for everyone else in the universe?" She hit me.

And to answer the question, I stlll don''t know if TGuy is the one. I love him, married him, and work on life every day to make sure that there''s no one else but each other for us.

(yes, I am a cynic.)

 

[TravelingGal]

btw, TGuy must have realized early on that I was someone for him. When we were in Croatia traveling (before we knew we''d ever see each other after Europe), we turned in after a long day. We just hung out in our room, and decide to make a list of traits for our "ideal" partner - no matter how silly the wishes on the list were. We chatted and made our list and read them. After he read his, I paused, and asked him, "You do know that I AM the woman you''ve described, don''t you?" Many months later, he admitted he had a lightbulb moment as he realized that minute that I was indeed correct.

 

[poptart]

Date: 12/14/2006 10:50:10 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 12/13/2006 1:26:23 PM
Author: Hopes

Date: 12/13/2006 12:56:12 PM
Author: poptart

Date: 12/13/2006 10:13:14 AM
Author: robbie3982

Date: 12/13/2006 9:55:56 AM
Author: monarch64
I knew the first time he put his arm around me that I would end up marrying him. It was about 10 minutes after we met, lol. I just felt this sense of ''I''m home'' like walking in the door at night after a long hard day, to the comfort and familiarity and security of your own home and belongings. It was so overwhelming, I have never forgotten that feeling. He says he knew within a couple of weeks...

That was 5 years ago--my, how time flies!

I felt the same way! I didn''t know he was the one at that point, but I got that same feeling of comfort and ''I''m Home'' wash over me. It scared me! Lol. I''d just met him that day and was actually still sort of dating my college bf of 3.5 years.

I know what that feeling is! I am the type of person that HATES to be touched... as in, if you try to touch me I will back away because I hate it that much. But the first time we went out together with some friends, he instantly had his arm around me and I was amazed, but didn''t move away or feel awkward at all. I felt very safe, and still do everytime he hugs me!

*M*

Oh yes, exactly! I met my guy online, so I didn''t get to touch him until two years after I had fallen completely and totally in love with him (long story there). The first time we physically met, we went to a grocery store right after I got off the plane. The whole time I was thinking to myself, wow this feels so natural, like we''d been doing this for years! I''d never gone grocery shopping with anyone except family before that. Then when we got to his place, I sat on his bed and held his ferret in my lap, and everything felt so right.

He has always felt so comforting and familiar, and so right -- it''s like my body knows him from another life. I''ve never been with another guy that felt anything like that. I''m not religious, but in this regard I feel like there''s something really spiritual about our love, like we were meant to be soulmates, like it''s sealed in fate or something... yes I''m getting a little bit ridiculous, but that''s how I felt from day 1. I told him ''I love you'' without him knowing it the very first night I talked to him... anyway I''d better stop before I turn into mush. ^^;

I had to laugh (in a good way) when I read this. I''ve felt this before too. But I never married the guy. I just don''t believe in soulmates!

And speaking of ''the one'', I agree with the others. There is no ONE. There is someone you decide to make a commitment to. A long time ago, my friend told me she believed that there was that ONE person out there for her. Me being the horrible mischief maker that I am, asked her if she believed in free will. She did. So I asked her, ''What if I decided not to be with my ''one''? What if I decided to go be with someone else''s one? Wouldn''t that create a domino effect and screw things up for everyone else in the universe?'' She hit me.

And to answer the question, I stlll don''t know if TGuy is the one. I love him, married him, and work on life every day to make sure that there''s no one else but each other for us.

(yes, I am a cynic.)

It''s ok, I''m actually a cynic, too. But at the same time I sometimes just KNOW things, can''t explain it, and being with him was something I just KNEW. Although I also believe there is more than one person out there for everyone (my grandma being a great example of this belief). I don''t see it as cynicism TGal... I see it as realistic. DH just says I''m just a pessimist, but he is definitely optimistic and idealistic enough for the both of us, so it evens out.

*M*

 

[sumbride]

On the subject of "the one", I had a friend in college that always lamented being single but she would say that "Jesus hadn''t sent her a husband yet". The rest of us just kind of giggled and rolled our eyes at the idea of Jesus running a matchmaking service. She just told me she''s engaged! Apparently Jesus finally sent her a husband! She never mentioned the concept of "the one" but I hope this marriage works or she might lose her faith. On the other hand, that''s a lot of pressure.