How small is TOO small?

[fire&ice]

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On 3/4/2004 3:28:56 PM MichelleCarmen wrote:

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FWIW, I've never said a three carat is tacky! Why are you continueing on with me? I asked to just drop it. If others say your ring is tacky or they can't be happy for you track them down and b*tch at them, not me. WTF??? Who the h*ll cares about your damn ring anyways?

Michelle
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Wow, I guess I'll let you have the last swearing word. And, thanks for addressing the questions and issue I raised. You make everything so clear to me now.

 

[Nicrez]

Michelle, Mara has been nothing but Mara...Unapologetically politically incorrect humor, but honest that she likes big rings and that's that. She's always got a silly, sometimes jokingly critical tone, but it's always been in good fun. As for your ring I am all for ANY diamonds, and frankly, AGBF posted hers with "smaller" stones, and I thought it was BEAUTIFUL! I'm a fan of anyone being thoughtful enough to please their intended with something that makes them happy. If your ring makes you happy, there is no need to even read these posts with any ill will. It doesn't matter in the end!




Mara and F&I are just playing along with the silliness of ANY size being incorrect. As we all know size IS personal, and my friend who just got her 1ct, at first said it looked too small...now she thinks it's SO BIG?! It grows on you, whatever you get....now my .5 ct earrings look PERFECT on me. I want something to fit my frame, my structure an they do! Should I be offended by a silly remark on size? No, and you shouldn't be. Michelle, let's all just agree that some people will voice their opinions, and no one has to agree, but we can all admire diamonds OF EVERY SIZE!!! Lots of women don't have ANY!!! Let's not start getting personal...

By the way, ANOTHER friend just got engaged, but he did it to his girlfriend in another country over the phone, no ring, and she's happpier than anything! She won't have ANY diamond, and they decided to have the wedding ring be plain as well...so to each his own and bless the happy unions for what they are, diamonds aside...NOW let's satrt helping some newbies!!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

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Wow, I guess I'll let you have the last swearing word. And, thanks for addressing the questions and issue I raised. You make everything so clear to me now.
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Seriously what do you want me to say? I was in a bad mood yesterday as I noted and just complained about the thread and next thing I know I'm having to fight off all the comments i make when in reality, NONE of this is that big of a deal. You go on and on about your ring. It's great that you have a gorgeous three carat you love. I've never said ANYTHING bad about it and yet you suddenly turn the negative comments you've received onto me when I've never made a negative peep about your ring and you expect me not to get upset? You don't even know me and i surely don't know you, so why suddenly just because others can't be happy for you, you twist this around until it's about me? Seriously, your ring IS pretty, but I DON'T care about it. Why should I? It's YOUR ring that respresents you and your husband.

Don't let what others say about your ring bother you or don't expect us to empathise with you because we don't know you. We don't even know your name. You can't truly go on like this about peoples' comments for the rest of your life. Just ENJOY YOUR RING!

Michelle

 

[fire&ice]

Oh really, I go on and on about my ring.

No, Michelle, I don't go on and on about my ring. I use it as an example to help others. PERIOD - just as we all do w/ our own pieces. If you don't care, don't read.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

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On 3/4/2004 4:00:04 PM fire&ice wrote:

Oh really, I go on and on about my ring.

No, Michelle, I don't go on and on about my ring. I use it as an example to help others. PERIOD - just as we all do w/ our own pieces. If you don't care, don't read.

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I meant you were going on and on about the size of your ring in the size issue posts not in ALL of your posts. But, oh well. . .moving on. . .

Michelle

 

[Nicrez]

*uncomfortably*




Heeeeeeyy!! How 'bout those Lakers, eh?




*crickets chirping*




You guys are great! I know you may not have meant it, but you made my absolutely BORING thursday just a bit more exciting...but let's make it boring again, huh?

 

[pauls girl]

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On 3/4/2004 4:12:06 PM Nicrez wrote:


*uncomfortably*


Heeeeeeyy!! How 'bout those Lakers, eh?


*crickets chirping*




LOL!!!

 

[aljdewey]

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On 3/4/2004 3:28:56 PM MichelleCarmen wrote:

Why are you continueing on with me? I asked to just drop it?

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Well..........from an observer's point of view.......because you keep posting on the subject, Michelle. You don't want anyone to reply to your comments, but you cannot seem to keep yourself from replying to theirs.

It takes two to argue, right? So if you don't want to argue, just don't respond and problem solved.

 

[aljdewey]

On a side note, I think *everyone* is taking all of this just a bit too much to heart.




Asking about other's preferences is just that....it's asking what someone else thinks. If you ask me what I think about leg warmers, I'll tell you I think they are tacky. That doesn't mean you are tacky if you were them, and it doesn't mean anyone else thinks they are tacky. All it means is I think they are tacky.




F&I, I know you wear a 3-ct ring, but that doesn't mean everyone who happens to think a 2+ carat ring is over-the-top is making a judgment on you personally. My friend Tina loves all the hippie, flower power stuff---beaded decorations, the bright orange and pink flowers.....the whole shebang. I don't care for them, and I find them tacky....but I LOVE her. She's not tacky.....it's just a difference in style/taste.




Honestly, as Mara said, if expressing differences hurts your feelings.....two things come to mind. One, perhaps this isn't the best venue if you are that sensitive. Two......why would you consider it ok to call 80s cluster rings tacky and think that's any more acceptable than someone else calling 3 ct. rings tacky? (Incidentally, I agree that 80s rings are over-the-top and tacky, but that's not the point.) The point is that someone else may *like* the cluster ring that you think is tacky.....and if it's your position that no one should have their feelings hurt, then you shouldn't hurt his/hers.




Michelle, I don't think it's inappropriate for someone to ask what others think of different sizes/color/clarity. Sharing viewpoints is what forums are about.




It's just a shame these last two days have looked like a mudfight. We're really capable of better.

 

[fire&ice]

Al, with all due respect, you have missed my point. I'm just too tired to even express it. I don't give a rat's butt what someone on PS thinks of my ring size. What I do mind is the seeming go ahead to bash large stones in the vein that *those* people somehow expect to take the heat. Why is saying a 3c stone is too large (tacky hootchi - whatever) any different from saying that a 1/2 carat is to too small? I see no difference. Yet, the later sentiment is certainly not expressed in the forceful nature in thread after thread. In fact, this is the first time I can remember a thread even being about how small is too small.

I simply can not understand why anyone can't get that point.

And don't even go to the cluster rings. My sentiment was that they did not have the historic value, craftsmanship & quality that cluster rings have. I'm not debating the tackiness of them. For a jewelry historian's point of view, they aren't worth keeping together like a work of artistry from a past generation. Geez, maybe I just shouldn't even bother giving someone an informed opinion on something.

To issue of size, I have been everyone of them at some point in my life. I love each and everyone of my stones. Some more than others. And, the bigger ones give me more pleasure to wear currently. And, no one has even given an issue to a contact wearer whose upclose vision shrinks everything. It's as simple as that.

book closed on PS.

 

[LadyJ]

Well for me too small is anything smaller than the rocks my fiances female relatives have.. lol They all hate me and I can't wait to see how steamed up they get when they see my ring because even though it won't be big enough to land small aircraft on it will be bigger than thiers.. lol

This may sound childish and probably is but you have no idea what these women have put me through

even my fiance has said he will get a kick out of seeing thier reactions. We just know how it annoys them that we are even getting married at all and get a little kick out of it.

On the serious side.. I think there is no such thing as too small. It's a matter of personal preference and if you can't afford the size you want then you need to just be happy with what you get. When I married my first husband my ring was a 1/4 ct and I loved it because it was mine. It was a quality stone and I got lots of compliments on it despite it's size.

 

[AGBF]

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On 3/3/2004 8:23:24 PM winyan wrote:
"Your engagement ring is beautiful...and I know you've worn it long, in love and in happiness, and may it continue."


You are sweet, win. You always see the best in people . In reality, I have not worn the engagement ring much. I wore it for the first couple of years but my weight fluctuations had me changing its size constantly! It is, as one jeweler put it, just too "jeune fille" for me now. I still think it is beautiful and would like my daughter to have it, but I feel it would look silly on me now (and I LOVE delicate jewelry!).

I DON'T think the stones are too small, but it is (in my opinion) a piece of artistically designed jewelry, different from a solitaire e-ring. The solitaire I wear is 1.67 carats. I wear it very rarely, though. The only ring I wear daily is a wedding band.

I have enjoyed reading this thread. I even managed to swallow my chagrin that Hest feels my e-ring is too small .

Deb

 

[MichelleCarmen]

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Michelle, I don't think it's inappropriate for someone to ask what others think of different sizes/color/clarity. Sharing viewpoints is what forums are about.

blockquote>


I've been hypersensitive and as I've said I'm very PMSy this week (even been crying over silly commercials

and chick flick movie scenes). I'm sorry F&I and Mara and all others who've had to put up with me. Be back in a few weeks. I'm taking a PS break (may pop in and read, but won't be posting).

Michelle

 

[aljdewey]

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On 3/4/2004 6:40:28 PM fire&ice wrote:





Al, with all due respect, you have missed my point. I'm just too tired to even express it. I don't give a rat's butt what someone on PS thinks of my ring size. What I do mind is the seeming go ahead to bash large stones in the vein that *those* people somehow expect to take the heat. Why is saying a 3c stone is too large (tacky hootchi - whatever) any different from saying that a 1/2 carat is to too small? I see no difference. Yet, the later sentiment is certainly not expressed in the forceful nature in thread after thread. In fact, this is the first time I can remember a thread even being about how small is too small.

I simply can not understand why anyone can't get that point.

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Do you realize how condescending you sound? No one can "get" it?

We're bright enough to grasp what you're saying.....just not everyone agrees with you. Not agreeing with you doesn't mean it's beyond our comprehension....it means our opinions aren't the same as yours.

It's not "bashing" for someone to say that they find a given size too big or too small for them. It's expressing an opinion. It's perfectly fine, in my opinion, for people to state their preferences. It's too bad that everyone's taken this sooooo personally.

 

[Nicrez]

Stirring the pot....




I agree with F&I people DO attack big ring wearers, because mostly jealousy. But I will be the first to say that that lady with the 9ctw ring at the dr's office was getting stares of incredulity along with ANGRY looks, like "who does she think SHE is..." Hell I was like a kid in a candy store...would I wear that? Maybe if It was given to me, but considering my guy's financials, I would never ASK for that or even dream of it.




Maybe if I was getting engaged to a celebrity, I would. Point is, I would probably get flack for having such a "gaudy/tacky" ring, and you know what? That's just as rude if my husband to be were unemployed and gave me a .18ct stone!




Fact is, I have neither situation, so I am sheilded from it, but people like F&I and Michelle may get it more often than most and hence the sensitivity and irritation at the one sidedness to BOTH of them...Oddly enough they have more in common that they think, they just have the roles reserved! No one disagrees it's rude to say something mean, right? So why keep going with this personal, blockquoting?

No one answered my Lakers question either....

On a personal note...Lady J, I laugh because this is sort of a persoanl thing for me too! My relationship is constantly compared to my siblings, and as SHALLOW as this is, tired of getting flack for stuff, I am glad that my diamond is the largest of the other two! It's absolutely stupid, and perhaps I have issues, but YAY ME!!!!!

 

[fire&ice]

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On 3/4/2004 10:34:39 PM aljdewey wrote:

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On 3/4/2004 6:40:28 PM fire&ice wrote:




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Do you realize how condescending you sound? No one can 'get' it?

We're bright enough to grasp what you're saying.....just not everyone agrees with you. Not agreeing with you doesn't mean it's beyond our comprehension....it means our opinions aren't the same as yours.

It's not 'bashing' for someone to say that they find a given size too big or too small for them. It's expressing an opinion. It's perfectly fine, in my opinion, for people to state their preferences. It's too bad that everyone's taken this sooooo personally.

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No, it is not I that is condescending. Preference is what you choose to wear. Preference is not placing value judgements on what other people wear. Several posts had *nothing* to do with what someone prefers to wear. Many did not quantifiy any exceptions. And, now *you* decide what someone should take personally?

I gave you more credit. I honestly thought you did not understand my point. Clearly, you do. And, your fine with it.

 

[strmrdr]

I answered "any diamond is too big!"
Because "any diamond or no diamond is fine in an e-ring" wasnt an option.

Maybe I just don’t get it cuz im a guy but iv seen dime store rings that are absolutely drop dead gorgeous looking and cost a whole $9.99.
On the other hand iv seen rings that had huge diamonds that looked like dog barf.
And the other way around too.

Im not knocking big diamonds either cuz iv seen even more that look awesome.
I just don’t see the hang up some people have with diamond size I guess.

To small I can hardly see it that lil speck
Too big it looks tacky
mine is bigger than yours

Sheesh drink a bottle of grow the heck up it isn’t grade school anymore.


Note: above isn’t directed at any one person just a general comment but if the shoe fits wear it... or is that if the ring fits wear it?

 

[fire&ice]

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On 3/5/2004 9:21:38 AM strmrdr wrote:

To small I can hardly see it that lil speck
Too big it looks tacky
mine is bigger than yours

Sheesh drink a bottle of grow the heck up it isn’t grade school anymore.


Note: above isn’t directed at any one person just a general comment but if the shoe fits wear it... or is that if the ring fits wear it?

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You would be perfectly fine if someone responded to your fiancee's ring in a negative way? You have not emotion attached to it? Does she? Sorry, to me, an engagement ring or a hard earned 20th anniversary has way more emotion attached to it.

It blows my mind that someone (anyone) can dicate how I'm supposed to feel.

 

[strmrdr]

f&i my reply would be the same as in my above post...
grow the heck up it isnt grade school anymore.

Thats my point.

 

[fire&ice]

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On 3/5/2004 9:45:47 AM strmrdr wrote:

f&i my reply would be the same as in my above post...
grow the heck up it isnt grade school anymore.

Thats my point.

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And, I don't get it. Just because someone says I should feel a certain way doesn't mean I will. And, if attacking someone's anything is so in vogue, then deliver me back to my high school.

OH yeah, that's right, I should *expect* to take the heat because I consciously made the decision to be flashy. Yep, just to impress others as I sit wearing it in my office & I'm not expecting any visitors.

 

[strmrdr]

f&i were not communicating this morning for some reason.


If someeone says something bad about your ring they need to grow up and Id tell em so.

Thats what im saying.

 

[aljdewey]

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On 3/5/2004 9:10:22 AM fire&ice wrote:










I gave you more credit. I honestly thought you did not understand my point. Clearly, you do. And, your fine with it.

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Yes, I'm fine with it, but that's because I really don't get worked up about what others think---especially if I don't know them. It appears to matter to you what others think, and maybe that's the difference. I just don't care.

That probably comes from different life experiences; perhaps you feel as you do because you've taken flak for your ring.....and if you have, I'm sorry for your experience with that. I know it makes me sound callous, but I sooo don't care what others think. If some guy passing me on the the street thinks I'm a snob because of the jewelry I wear.....why should I give one iota what he thinks? He doesn't know me, so his erroneously opinion won't affect my life in any way.

If I chose to wear a 3 ct. ring, I'd make that choice because it made me happy. If others are going to make assumptions about me based on the ring, there's nothing I can do about that. Human nature is what it is, and I refuse to get worked up about what others that *I don't even know* think about me just based on my ring.

If I chose to wear a .25 ring, I'd make that choice because it made me happy. If others are going to make assumptions about me based on that ring, there's also nothing I can do about that.

I'm sure some people think my e-ring is over-the-top and flashy. I'm sure there are others who think it's a pitiful speck. I just don't care....I got what makes me happy, and I don't care what others think. I don't feel the need to defend my choices to others, and I'm astute enough to recognize that they may make incorrect assumptions about me because of it.

Oh well....that's life.

 

[aljdewey]

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On 3/5/2004 9:34:58 AM fire&ice wrote:




You would be perfectly fine if someone responded to your fiancee's ring in a negative way?

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YES......I would be fine it someone reacted to my ring negatively, because I don't expect everyone else to like what I like....to value what I value.

If someone reacted to my ring by saying "Not my style, Al, but congratulations."....that's fine.

My fiance and I work at the same place. Sizewise, my ring is on the upper end of what most folks here wear. When we became engaged, I KNOW there was behind-the-scenes whispering about how big my ring was. I couldn't care less....I refuse to validate or justify that kind of speculation by responding to it.

 

[Hest88]

AGBF, I *don't* think your stones are too small, if you read my last post.

I think they are perfectly suited for that lovely, old-fashioned setting. However, it it had been one of those stones in some Tiffany-style solitaire then I would have thought it was too small and would have had to question your usually exquisite tastes!

 

[Nicrez]

AGBF, are you adopting, because I'LL take the ring!!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

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OH yeah, that's right, I should *expect* to take the heat because I consciously made the decision to be flashy. Yep, just to impress others as I sit wearing it in my office & I'm not expecting any visitors. ----------------

F&I,

You're just as biting at us with little rings. Your tongue and check remark, the first one on this thread, speaks volumes. Quit acting so abused! You obviously love your ring. If someone says something nasty to you about it, deck them with the thing.

Nicrez is right, we both have in common that neither of our rings are of average size compared to THOSE ON THIS BOARD, but in real life, who knows. Mine is bigger than ALL of my friends and bigger than average for the area I live in, so yes, I'm fine with it! I'll love it until my dying day

I find it amazing how long you're dragging this out for.

Okay, I'm off to ENJOY my free time. Enjoy your debate, ladies.

Michelle

 

[Mara]

A good example of what AL is saying in terms of not being insulted by what others think IMO is this....




I don't like yellow gold. I personally think...(okay..get ready to flay me)....that most yellow gold looks tacky. I'm strictly a white metal person. I own one pair of very thick beautiful gold flat-edge oval hoop earrings, quite nice...Greg gave them to me, but I have worn them once in 3 years. I have seen a few YG designs that are beautiful, but 90% of them don't tickle my fancy in the least.




Al and I are friends. We talk all the time. She knows that I don't like YG. She has a YG ring. She and I have different styles. When she showed me the pix of her ring, I said, "it's sooooo lovely!" It actually is of course.

But it's YG. Not my style. She knows it. Just like my ring is probably not her style either since I have shown her pieces of jewelry I like, and she has noted 'oh that'd be perfect in YG'.




Somehow even though we have this huge chasm of YG vs White metal love...we still manage to get along and respect each other's opinions and even remain friends. She doesn't get insulted when I say something about not loving YG....and I don't get offended if she says anything about white metals vs YG. I know...it's hard to believe.

But the bottom line is that we each love what we are going to love and we don't give a damn what the other thinks in terms of PERSONAL PREFERENCES. Just because I think that YG is tacky looking, does not mean that I think that AL is tacky or her ring is tacky or she has bad taste. She knows this, and doesn't get offended. MY Personal Taste has nothing to do with her Personal Taste. We can disagree and still remain friends, admire each other's beautiful jewelry...even help each other find new ones.

Ahhh love makes the world go round.

I LOVE YOU AL!!

 

[aljdewey]

Mara, you are SOOOO funny! LMAO.......I was going to give EXACTLY the same example in my post above, but refrained. So funny you did anyway.




Yep, it's true. Mara mentioned one night, "don't take it personally, but I'm really not a huge fan of yellow gold.....nor of 6-prong settings." I understood exactly what she was saying......my ring is not *her* taste, but she was not castigating me because I like it. I wasn't insulted at all.




It's funny - we point out tons of things on the net to one another all the time......invitations, bathroom rugs, shower curtains.....you name it. There are tons of things we've both liked (gorgeous chandelier earrings, etc.)....and there are many things that only one of us likes. When she shows me a shower curtain and says "Oh, I love this....what do you think?"....sometimes my reply is "not my thing" or "I don't like this about it." or "too plain for me". She understands that's it's not a personal slam or insult....just a difference in tastes.




I really appreciate her ability to make the distinction. It's so nice to communicate freely without worrying about offending someone's sensibilities.




I LOVE YOU TOO, MARA.

Really. You're a treasure to me here.

 

[Mara]

Aww *group hug*.




By the way, my striped shower curtain ROCKS...and you just don't even know what you are missing.

LOL!

 

[Mara]

*double post*