How much of your weekend is spent doing chores?

[missy]

We are fortunate in that for now my dh is able to work from home most Fridays (and I am off on Fridays) so we usually do all our grocery shopping for the next week on Fridays and that takes anywhere from 1-3 hours depending on how many stops (Costco, whole foods etc) we need to make. I do laundry when we get to our beach house either Thurs nights or Fridays and that is pretty simple because our laundry machines are right next to the MBR unlike our NYC apt where you have to go to the basement. If we skip a weekend at the beach house my dh does the laundry at our NYC apt. as I don't like the basement...creepy!

We used to have a cleaning lady every other week in NY but we are now down to once a month. When she moved back to her country we (I) decided once a month was enough when I hired a new person. It's just the 2 of us (and our 4 cats) so I vacuum every few days and my dh keeps the kitchen clean- he cleans up every night before we go to bed as I cannot leave any mess in the kitchen- it makes me go
I find once a month is working out well and we pay her $125 because we have a pretty big apt.

At our new beach house we don't have anyone yet. At our previous beach house I had the cleaning person there come once/month as well and that was perfect as we were not there that often. We are at the new house every weekend since we moved and it is in need of a good cleaning for sure. It is a pretty large house (3500 sq feet) so as Zoe mentioned it is more work to clean. I vacuum downstairs every weekend (wood floors) we are there and my dh vacuums upstairs (carpet so I let him do it). However there is still dust and cat hair all over so we do need to find someone. I am resistant to it though because I just hate spending all the $$$ on cleaning and always think I can do it no problem but I really am not good at it at all. Plus we are only there on weekends so there is never enough time. Though this weekend I think I will be trying to give it a good cleaning as the weather is pretty lousy and we won't be doing that much outside because of that.

My dh cleans our NYC windows (we have lots and lots of them) once/season. That seems enough and it takes him an entire morning to do it. They tip in so it isn't too difficult. We haven't yet done our beach house windows and glass doors...have to figure that schedule out.

We (mainly my dh) usually cook for the entire week on Sundays and that frees up time during weeknights so when we get home from work we can just heat things up and enjoy each others company and relax.

I don't hate our chores at all actually because I enjoy food shopping (heck, I enjoy shopping of any kind usually ) and I also get satisfaction from vacuuming up all that darn cat hair and dust!

I have to agree that while I don't mind chores that much it does suck up time if you are cleaning your home by yourself so I second the cleaning person recommendation (maintaining order and cleanliness is really constant) though I do hate spending money that could otherwise be used for jewelry shopping!!

 

[Amys Bling]

I spend about 2 hours cleaning, another 2 on laundry, and 1 on grocery shopping. That doesn't take into account any outside chores ans maintenance or extra projects.

I hate every minute of it! Ugh.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

Nope, but I chose to be child free, rent my home, and live in a 1,000 sq ft house for a reason. Nobody to take care of (except the dog), I don't have to do a speck of maintenance (Hooray for renting) and have exactly the amount of house I need so I'm not wasting my time cleaning unused space. My free time is quite extensive which makes me very happy

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I agree with those who said pets make a big difference. I remember BD (before dogs), we only vacuumed 1x per week. Now I vacuum every day, but it's been that way for 7 years. Plus the wiping down of walls, steaming the floors, washing the dog bed covers every week, cleaning out the vehicles constantly, taking Byron to hydrotherapy (which is 3 hours every Saturday), taking Bo to the dog park every weekend day, etc., takes a ton of time.

I brought a housekeeper up with D last night and he made some good points. He reminded me that we have completely shut off 3 bedrooms and 1 bath in our house, so if I'm overwhelmed now, it will be much worse later. He also reminded me that the yard is a lot of work and I don't feel guilty about hiring a landscaper to do some of that work (D still mows, but we have a landscaper come out when needed), so why feel guilty about a housekeeper? And also, we have a dog walker during the week because we don't have time to make sure Bo gets to the park for 2 hours a day, so he doesn't feel that's any different from hiring a housekeeper. He thinks I'm just worried that by hiring somebody, it means I can't handle it all and I need to let go of that.

Thanks to all of you for sharing--this was very helpful to me because I wasn't sure if I was just being wimpy about the amount of work. All of your posts were insightful and I appreciate you all posting!

 

[Haven]

Missy's post about being off on Fridays reminded me of something:

I think I might spend less time running the few errands that I DO run because I can do them at relatively slow times during the week. I have a non-traditional schedule, and I make sure to do my grocery shopping between 3:30 and 4:30 because the store is pretty empty then. When I worked from 7 to 5 Monday through Friday, I definitely had to spend more time running errands because I had to go to the stores during the busiest times. Now that I can go during slow times, I think it saves ME a lot of time.

NEL--I think your DH has a great perspective on the cleaning service--it really isn't any different than hiring the dog walker or the lawn service. I bet this is going to be one of those things where you'll think "Why didn't we do this earlier?!" once you're reaping the benefits!

 

[zoebartlett]

Okay, you've all convinced me. I'm definitely warming up to the idea of hiring a cleaning service once or twice a month. I'm going to talk to my husband about it. He'll be thrilled!

 

[Allison D.]

How does everyone find their housekeepers? I've been wanting to get on this bandwagon for a year now, but I have no idea how to go about finding a decent one.

 

[Jennifer W]

Allison, I got an agency service for a few years, but it wasn't ideal (for me). The cleaners were paid minimum wage and yet my price kept going up. I figured I'd rather employ someone directly than pay for the agency owner's lovely new Mercedes. We put an advert in the window of our local post office, interviewed a couple of people and picked the one with the best references. We gave her a three week trial period, then kept her on. She was great for several years, then I think her life changed (new partner, kids older) and she got...unreliable. Well, that's the kindest way of putting it.

We tried a couple of other agencies, but same issue - low wages for the people who do the work and a high hourly rate. It doesn't sit well with us, so we're between housekeepers again.

It's starting to get a bit rough in here, I need to find another local person to help out.

 

[zoebartlett]

How does everyone find their housekeepers? I've been wanting to get on this bandwagon for a year now, but I have no idea how to go about finding a decent one.

My parents have two women clean their house, and their names spread through town simply by word of mouth. Have you asked friends if they use anyone?

 

[missy]

How does everyone find their housekeepers? I've been wanting to get on this bandwagon for a year now, but I have no idea how to go about finding a decent one.

The best way is to go through personal recommendations. Recommendations from people you know and trust.

My very first cleaning person when I moved on my own was a man who worked for my mom. He was super. He did a thorough and fast cleaning and I trusted him to be in my apt alone. He was working his way through school and he was just perfect. He cleaned my apt in about 2 and a half hours and it was really clean. He was awesome!

When he left for a better career about 6 years later (I was very happy for him) I didn't have anyone for a while as it is hard to find someone you can trust to leave alone. I don't care if they do a bad job as I just won't hire them on but the main thing is who can I trust with the kitties etc and that is why I always like a personal recommendation vs advertising for someone.

I found my next person through a friend of a friend and she was great. She left when I got married and moved to a larger apt as it got to be too much for her to clean. She said she developed allergies so that was her reason but my feeling is that it was a lot for her to do and while I trusted her she wasn't the most energetic cleaner LOL. It is a very hard and tiring job to clean someone's home for sure. If it wasn't we would all do our own.

Our most recent cleaning woman was also a lovely person and she did an OK job. She was older so I do think it was a bit much for her to be cleaning people's homes but my dh said (in defense of me not wanting her to be doing this job as I felt she was too frail)that our paycheck could mean a big difference in her life so we kept her on even when we were suffering financially ourselves a few years ago. My feeling was more for her health than the money but my dh said that she might really need our paycheck so we kept her. Less than a year ago she told us she was moving back to her country and I was so pleased for her! Then we went a long while without anyone and at my dh's constant nagging I finally decided to find a replacement.

The person we use now is great. I love her and hope she stays for a long time. She worked for many years (and still does) for my mom's best friend and when our latest cleaning person left my dh was bugging me to find someone as he is the one who really needs a sparkling clean home. Me, I like it when it's clean but it's not like we live in filth in any case. I mean, I am always vacuuming, dusting etc but he is super picky about that so I called my mom who told us about her friend's cleaning person and that's how we hired our latest cleaner. She is really sweet and a decent cleaner and so far very reliable.

I also find that if you are willing to pay a little extra it makes a difference. People are more loyal and they want to stay. I know that's how I feel too at work. Praise me all you want (who doesn't like honest praise after all) but please show me your appreciation if you KWIM. When I feel that I am paid fairly I want to stay and do a good job. I think that's how most everyone feels. Not sure why many employers don't understand that's how you retain the best people. Sorry for the tangent!

 

[diamondringlover]

I actually have 3 days off from work (I work 4-10 hour days) and I swear all I do it run errands, clean, do laundry, it seems like I seldom sit down.....it stinks

 

[Allison D.]

I agree with all of you that personal recommendation is the most preferred way to go, but that's the problem for me......I don't have anyone who can recommend.

My friends are spread out a bit geographically - one is 30 miles away, two others are 45 miles. The only friend who lives locally doesn't use a cleaning service so doesn't have recommendation insights.

I think that's why this hasn't moved to reality for me. I've been able to overcome hub's discomfort with the idea and he's now onboard, but i'm struggling to figure out how to weed to the best options just based on advertisements.

 

[Tuckins1]

Yes,it does seem like that's all I do, especially now that I have a baby!! Good thing I like cleaning... (But I would like to have time to do other things, too)

 

[zoebartlett]

I agree with all of you that personal recommendation is the most preferred way to go, but that's the problem for me......I don't have anyone who can recommend.

My friends are spread out a bit geographically - one is 30 miles away, two others are 45 miles. The only friend who lives locally doesn't use a cleaning service so doesn't have recommendation insights.

I think that's why this hasn't moved to reality for me. I've been able to overcome hub's discomfort with the idea and he's now onboard, but i'm struggling to figure out how to weed to the best options just based on advertisements.

Hmmm, have you looked into Angie's List? I've only seen the commercials for it so I have no first-hand experience with the site. I know you'd have to join the site though, which you may not want to do.

The only other thing I can think of is to comb the classifieds (or post your own ad) and have someone over for an interview and maybe one cleaning as a trial, after checking references of course.

 

[missy]

I agree with all of you that personal recommendation is the most preferred way to go, but that's the problem for me......I don't have anyone who can recommend.

My friends are spread out a bit geographically - one is 30 miles away, two others are 45 miles. The only friend who lives locally doesn't use a cleaning service so doesn't have recommendation insights.

I think that's why this hasn't moved to reality for me. I've been able to overcome hub's discomfort with the idea and he's now onboard, but i'm struggling to figure out how to weed to the best options just based on advertisements.

Hmmm, have you looked into Angie's List? I've only seen the commercials for it so I have no first-hand experience with the site. I know you'd have to join the site though, which you may not want to do.

The only other thing I can think of is to comb the classifieds (or post your own ad) and have someone over for an interview and maybe one cleaning as a trial, after checking references of course.

Also, have you asked any of your neighbors? Even if you do not know them well it could be a place to start and then of course you can check references and try the person's services out and see what you think. Or you and your dh can ask work colleagues if anyone knows of someone. It makes it more challenging to find someone but you could definitely do it.

 

[ksinger]

Not enough and too much. Howzat?

I have a small house - 1100 sq feet, which was perfect for one, which I was when I bought it. My mom and I had a ball decorating it over the years, and I kept it pretty darn tidy. I can provide actual photos of the "tidy years" upon request. I look at them from time to time as a reminder...ah the good old days!!

HOWEVER....then my mother got ill, and I, being an only child, inherited all her stuff. We of course sold as much as we could, but that still left a bunch of stuff - stuff that I felt I couldn't dispense with for a number of reasons, so I stored it in my equally small garage. My car has not seen the interior of that garage since that time.

BUT THEN...here comes the long-lost soon to be hubs, back into my life. We considered a bigger home at one point, before we actually married, but then decided that our location was perfect, and I KNEW this house - as in plumbing, electrical, etc - no unpleasant new-home surprises, and had done so much work on it that there was an emotional attachment, not to mention the idea of moving all that ...stuff...gave me the screaming heebie jeebies.

So he built us a shed. And we remodeled the kitchen. We got rid of some more of my mom's stuff (an iterative process), then he brought HIS stuff. And a dog. The garage got cleaned out and reorganized, but HE took it over, and I was banished (pretty much) from its holy precincts.

It's been a barely-hold-the-line situation since. He and I both have the book collections of nearly 50 years. That's 100 book-years, if you will. Plus HE has a magazine fetish, as in he tends to keep most of them. We are also both project people. We MAKE things, and anyone who makes things knows you can't actually do that very well if you have to put all your work stuff away every time you use it. It's why artists have studios. So a bunch of my jewelry making stuff stays out for long periods of time, adding to the clutter.

I try to keep the kitchen CLEAN, and the bathroom of course, but I never get on top of things to MY satisfaction, although, considering the situation, it really isn't too bad. I'd love to hire a housekeeper, but I'm not comfortable with the idea to be honest. I have too much stuff that could go missing and me not know about it until long after it goes, so...

I'm like Haven though, probably about 2-8 hours per weekend, and it's STILL not ever enough...

 

[rosetta]

I work 8-8pm almost everyday, plus weekends on call.

Cleaning lady is a must or I'd suffocate in filth.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Allison, I'm in the same boat with you right now. I've been asking several of my coworkers for recommendations, but nobody lives close to me. If I get any recos near you, I'll let you know Plus, many of my coworkers use a nanny who does light housekeeping and I don't know (yet) if that is the route I want to go.

I did reach out to one service in a nearby town. Not a bigger company like Merry Maids, but a smaller, local service. They were priced pretty high. I found them on Craigslist, but have seen the name around.

I think my next step might be asking my realtor for suggestions--she and I still chat occasionally and she might be a good resource.

 

[Pandora II]

I don't spend time on chores at the weekend, but we do shop and cook together, which takes up a bit of time. I don't think of that as a chore though, it's nice time that we enjoy. We usually stop for coffee after we've bought groceries, or lunch if it's that time of day - make a bit of a treat of it.

House cleaning - we do the bare minimum to keep it hygienic, mostly during the week. DH wakes up ridiculously early most days, so he'll usually clean the worst of the kitchen before Amelia and I get up. The rest of it we just tackle as and when it strikes us as too slovenly even by our standards....

I resent every moment spent on dull stuff, particularly at the weekends. I pay people to do whatever I can get them to do, and deal with the rest in a blitzkrieg whirl round the place in the shortest time humanly possible. I skip a whole lot of stuff entirely. J probably does most of it anyway, but I only remember the stuff that I do (because I resent it). We'll have a blitz on it before visitors arrive, but we try not to invite picky tidy people so we don't have to do too much.

This - I also have a long-suffering cleaner who almost keeps pace with our untidiness... actually, DH came with a cleaner included in the deal (she's cleaned/ironed for him for over 12 years now) who has now morphed into our daughter's 3rd grandmother!

 

[Allison D.]

Allison, I'm in the same boat with you right now. I've been asking several of my coworkers for recommendations, but nobody lives close to me. If I get any recos near you, I'll let you know Plus, many of my coworkers use a nanny who does light housekeeping and I don't know (yet) if that is the route I want to go.

I did reach out to one service in a nearby town. Not a bigger company like Merry Maids, but a smaller, local service. They were priced pretty high. I found them on Craigslist, but have seen the name around.

I think my next step might be asking my realtor for suggestions--she and I still chat occasionally and she might be a good resource.

OMG - fabulous idea, NEL! I'll get on that in the morning! I'm sure realtors are increasing familiar with good cleaning services since many of them likely hire to deep-clean sale properties. I could kiss you for such a great idea!

Great suggestions from others, too, but DH and I work for the same company, and it's 25 miles from where we work. The employees come from anywhere within a 1-hour radius, and I've already asked about others in my area without success - none of them hire or know of services.

HOWEVER, my realtor lives right around the corner from me, so I'll be on that right away.

 

[lliang_chi]

Allison/NEL, so glad to hear you guys are getting a cleaning service. We live in a small 1000 sqft condo. I think it'd be difficult to justify the cost. I think after the baby's born I can justify it a little more. My sis had an interesting idea though. She said we should propose to our men, she and I will clean our respective apartments, but they have to buy us sushi. That way Sis and I can hang out with each other (yes, we'll be cleaning, but it's still fun being together), and we get sushi. And the guys don't have to do anything. I'd be willing to do that, I think... But after the baby comes, definitely getting a cleaning person.

Luckily our pooch doesn't shed so I don't have pet hair to clean up all the time. But the place still gets pretty messy. DH does the dinner dishes, but doesn't wipe up the counters or anything. Aside from the dishes, the kitchen is entirely my domain.

DH does do a fair bit of errands on his way home. He drives most of the time. But it's mostly shopping errands and he'll only buy "his" things or stuff that I list very specifically, like 1 gallon of milk, 1 carton of OJ. But he really doesn't make "judgement" calls, e.g. "Hm, that's a good price on beef, I'll pick one up." So if he goes I still have to go myself to pick up meat and produce. Other chores like taking the dog to the vet, dropping the car off for maintenance falls on me.

 

[merilenda]

YES! This is exactly how I feel. DH was doing freelance work from home for the past year, but now that he's back to a "real" job, he can't run out for groceries, etc while I'm work. I literally feel that I barely get a weekend after all the cleaning, shopping, errands, etc, that have to be done. Plus I'm on call for work one weekend a month.

DH and I were talking about upcoming weekends and I realized that we're totally booked (between obligations, on call, etc) for literally months. I was so depressed when I actually mapped it out. I'm one of those people that needs a lot of downtime to recharge, and I don't even know when I'll next have a weekend to just relax. Adult life is rough sometimes.