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How much do you let others sway your CS preferences?

deorwine

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 5, 2005
Messages
332
There are a lot of threads here where people ask if a stone is the top color, or if it is the best example of a certain kind of stone. I think we can all agree that more generally sought-after colors should be priced more highly, and that we should all be on the lookout to make sure we don't pay more for a stone than it's worth on the general market (e.g., that we don't pay big bucks for a grey sapphire even if we really want a grey sapphire, etc.).

My question, though is slightly different: how much do you let your preferences be swayed by what everyone else is doing? I am a mix, myself. Sometimes I have my own preferences and no one else can shake them -- like I prefer my blue sapphires with no violet and am good with even a little tint of green, as long as it doesn't shade into grey, while I think the top sapphire color, and some of the very beautiful sapphires that have been posted here recently, like athenaworth's sapphire from JW, have a little violet and no green at all. I also think a lot of "top color" stones are often medium dark, and I find myself more drawn to medium-tone stones.

But sometimes I totally let PS threads talk me into liking things. Last year I bought a couple of (small included; was all I could afford) Mahenge spinels from Tan in the middle of all the Mahenge madness. (I need to take good pics... maybe I'll try to do that this weekend.) Before looking at all the Mahenge p*rn on PS, even though I like the hot-pink-red-orange color, I would never even have thought that I wanted that color. Recently I found myself looking at chrysoberyls... I don't even like yellow stones! Or, at least, I didn't think I did, but there were all these gushing threads about how awesome chrysoberyls were, and suddenly I find myself trying to justify buying one! I also narrowly escaped buying an asscher -- someone else snapped it up before I did -- and I'm glad because I actually don't like asschers; I don't know what I was thinking! Well, I do know; again it was that I have read so much about how much people like asschers on PS that it started messing with my brain.

So, how about you... are you firm in your preferences or do you find yourself, like me, swayed by public opinion? :)
 

Pandora II

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 3, 2006
Messages
9,613
I like what tells me I have to have it! I see a lot of gemstones anyway studying what I study and being generally obsessed and so I'm not really influenced by the latest 'must have' on PS. Although I do like seeing all the rocks here.

I thought Mahenges were over-rated until I bought a couple of small ones by sheer chance earlier in the year - wow, I'm not normally attracted by those shades but these were just like sweeties!

Another stone I fell in love with by chance were Mali garnets - I collect garnets so it was a gap I needed to fill whether I loved them or not. I don't generally like greenish yellows but the stone was just amazing when it arrived - better even than Rick at ArtCutGems had said it was. The dispersion was incredible and that stone spent many weeks being taken on walks!

Still don't care for chrysoberyls but I am having a bit of a crush on Andalusites at the moment... so, so pretty.
 

mayerling

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 4, 2010
Messages
2,357
When I'm not particularly set on something, I'm easily swayed. If I really like and want something, nothing anyone could say could change my mind.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,978
Very interesting topic.

Here on the CS forum I'd definitely listen to the experts.
If there is one thing I've learned here it's that colored stones can be a minefield of rippoffs.

As to being influenced into buying more, it's natural to develop an interest in new things we are exposed to.
I don't think it is so much messing with your brain, unless you have no will power.
Variety is what makes life interesting.
 

NKOTB

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 5, 2011
Messages
2,027
I was just thinking about this earlier, as it relates to my Mahenge spinel. I was trying to figure out if I liked it any less or was at all disappointed because it's not the "top colour", 1800 dollars-per-carat variety, or if I would ever even pay that much for a stone. In the end, I decided that I love the stone as it is - a couple of months ago, I had never even heard of a Mahenge spinel, but did like vivid pink gems! Mine is definitely very pretty... But did I grab it initially just because of that fact, or because it was described as something that seems to be highly coveted? Not sure.
 

FallenRox

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 1, 2011
Messages
248
I like opinions, I appreciate knowledge is power but I always do what I want. :)

Admittedly, when there is a hot topic/vendor/color/stone... I run all over looking at it and form an opinion but to me that just adds to what I know about something. That's about it.

"The experts" to me, and granted, I'm new.... are the ones with far more years of hands on experience, studying and collections who can intelligently talk about the technical aspects of something or their RL experiences. It doesn't require a trade title in my book, although there are many with trade titles that fit that bill too.
 

T L

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 20, 2008
Messages
23,288
I personally like what I like, and I try not to get on the "stone of the month" bandwagon unless it's an amazing gem that is priced really well, like a new find. After collecting for so long, I'm pretty confident in what my tastes are, and I rarely ask for opinions on this board, but I like to give them. :oops: Some people see me as obnoxious, annoying, and "a know it all," and I can see why, but in all honesty, I do try to help because I love discussing my favorite hobby. I also love when people get something beautiful and have a wonderful consumer experience.

There's so few people IRL that I can talk to about my love of gems, and so I come here. I also do like to share my RL experiences, and can relate to others based on those experiences. For example, I can relate to the difficult search for a good mahenge as I've been there, done that, and returned umpteenth stones. I also love to live vicariously through you guys since you come up with such beautiful jewelry with your amazing treasures and finds. :naughty:
 

kt

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 30, 2003
Messages
286
What I really value is everyone helping me think through the consideration set when making a CS purchase. is the color saturated enough? will it wash out in a setting? will it look too big/small on the hand? is the price in proportion to the quality? etc. etc. But the core decision is still made by me - and I don't tend to get swayed by groupthink. I do like it, though, when people jump on a "bandwagon" about new stones - like Mahenge's - and since i never knew about them before, it's interesting to learn about them, hear people's opinions etc. - but if I'm not into it to begin with, I probably won't be swayed into getting one.

The knowledge on this forum is amazing, so I do love reading all the posts! I've learned a ton.
 

rubyshoes

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 12, 2011
Messages
585
I am very swayed by everyone, mostly because I consider myself a complete and total noob. Added to that my general paranoia about buying things on the net, and well, I end up wanting tons of hand-holding. Part of the complication is that I own tons of gorgeous jewelry, but almost all are family heirlooms I inherited or gifts my parents & in-laws gave me. So I have a taste for fine stuff but no knowledge! I will say though, that nobody can tell me what to consider pretty and what to consider ugly. For eg. I feel physically sick when I see 'star' stones (not kidding, I have a visceral hatred of them) and I wouldn't take one home even for peanuts no matter how much they're praised. :rolleyes:
 

Asscherhalo_lover

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Aug 16, 2007
Messages
4,881
Meh, I like what I like. If someone tells me something I like is overpriced for what it is I might be swayed. But what I like what I like. I'm sure nothing that I own would be considered top quality or even desirable by others but I'm ok with that.
 

LD

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 29, 2008
Messages
9,717
Am I swayed? No. If I like something I buy it. If I am undecided I may seek other opinions but at the end of the day it's still my decision. For example when the spess fetish happened and people were buying them by the bucketload, I wasn't influenced in any way at all. I don't like them and still don't like them (even though I own a few). I own Alexandrites and most people don't like those! Occasionally, very occasionally, I will see something that I haven't seen for a while and it might make me look at them again (and maybe buy if I find a good one).
 

Aoife

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 23, 2010
Messages
1,779
Not much, honestly. Mostly I look for colors that appeal to me on an emotional level. Sometimes those are "top" colors, and sometimes they are not. I might admire some stones that are posted here, or recognize that they are very good specimens, but they might not stimulate any desire to own one myself. That's why when a CS'er asks for thoughts on a stone I frequently ask the OP what they were looking for, because it doesn't matter if something is desirable if it doesn't make you do little happy dances inside.
 

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,586
No, not really. My faves aren't really popular (emeralds and rubies) but they're still my favorites. Sometimes I do 'fall' for a fine example of a stone but it doesn't lead me towards an impulse buy. I do however sincerely enjoy those gems that are posted even though they're not gems that I typically prefer.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,978
TL|1309545790|2960082 said:
I personally like what I like, and I try not to get on the "stone of the month" bandwagon unless it's an amazing gem that is priced really well, like a new find. After collecting for so long, I'm pretty confident in what my tastes are, and I rarely ask for opinions on this board, but I like to give them. :oops: Some people see me as obnoxious, annoying, and "a know it all," and I can see why, but in all honesty, I do try to help because I love discussing my favorite hobby. I also love when people get something beautiful and have a wonderful consumer experience.

There's so few people IRL that I can talk to about my love of gems, and so I come here. I also do like to share my RL experiences, and can relate to others based on those experiences. For example, I can relate to the difficult search for a good mahenge as I've been there, done that, and returned umpteenth stones. I also love to live vicariously through you guys since you come up with such beautiful jewelry with your amazing treasures and finds. :naughty:
TL, your input here is soooooooooo much more valuable than that of people who will only say nice things.
Seriously!

To me the priority of PS should be pursuing the stone, not the warm fuzzies.
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
21,130
Another newbie perspective -

I find that IRL I like coloured stones with some brown - cheapie garnets, citrines... they just speak to me more. and I prefer my greens to err toward yellow over blue. I don't know that I could ever embrace the colour over cut ideal - I can't imagine not choosing a lighter/less saturated precision cut for the same price every time.

So... not yet, but I haven't lurked here long enough to start buying and find out for sure! The blue sapphires I adore are apparently the expensive ones though, that incredible colour and a wee bit sleepy :cheeky:
 

kelpie

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 8, 2008
Messages
2,362
sometimes posts here might sway me to love something I thought I hated (like spessartites or bezels) but I don't think I've ever been dissuaded from loving something I love. My preference for tsavorites and blue sapphires is lighter than "top color", for instance. I'm also tolerant of visible inclusions if I know exactly what they're about. I also don't really get how some posters get worked up over difficult to detect treatments or why cedar oil is somehow a better treatment than resin than emeralds. I mean sure we'd all love the best unaltered example of a stone but all the tests and paperwork seems excessive for a modest purchase.
 

FallenRox

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 1, 2011
Messages
248
kenny|1309551285|2960153 said:
TL, your input here is soooooooooo much more valuable than that of people who will only say nice things.
Seriously!

To me the priority of PS should be pursuing the stone, not the warm fuzzies.
Or say nothing at all... I would rather have someone be blunt and honest when sharing their experience or facts than have them be concerned about what others think of them and say nothing at all.

And for heaven sakes SWAY ME if I'm headed in the wrong direction. :mrgreen:
 

T L

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 20, 2008
Messages
23,288
kenny|1309551285|2960153 said:
To me the priority of PS should be pursuing the stone, not the warm fuzzies.
I think people get easily offended on forums, not just this one, as the written word can seem to sound harsh since you can't express your voice. Therefore, I do try to be more careful as to not offend, and I still try to be as honest as possible. It's a fine line sometimes. Thanks Kenny. :))
 

TristanC

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 6, 2011
Messages
995
I enjoy the forums for the knowledge and exposure that is definitely there to for me to learn as a newbie.

However, I don't actually feel the need to do what everyone is doing - hence gem of the month asscher etc. Kenny's poll would have had me a quivering wreck re: my decision to pursue a pink FCD ring. What I find so valuable is the breadth of viewpoints, and things like general preferences for colours etc.

Sometimes in a choice between two stones that you already like, there is a 50% chance to get things wrong. And sometimes very wrong. Having the affirmation and expert eyes of another 20 veteran PSers who are the checks and balances in a 50/50 situation is definitely a good thing.

When it comes to sharing, I tend to be a contrarian, and just want to make sure people are considering other facets than the immediately obvious. This probably makes me seem like an annoyance, but I hope some people get something out of it.
 

ZestfullyBling

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 27, 2010
Messages
1,992
I'd say not often. I do love to inquire and research and get opinions on gems. I love this forum because I have no one else that I can have gem talk with. But I like what I like. I buy what makes my heart sing.
 

texaskj

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2010
Messages
1,196
Depends on how much I'm spending and what the stone is for. My it-came-from-the-'80s tourmaline was just sitting in my safe, not being worn and for some reason, I like the thing. It only cost me 50 bucks for danielm to make it wearable again. Now if I was going to spend thousands for an important stone, I would solicit opinions. And just because you ask for opinions, doesn't mean you have to follow them. It's still your money and your eyeballs lookin' at it.
 

ooo~Shiney!

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 6, 2010
Messages
1,501
This thread makes me smile...
I found what I like early on.....
Spinel and Emerald.
I can like other things, but these are what I seem to be drawn to .....
I appreciate the colors of the stones I have, and don't really worry
that they may not be "top color" or etc.
I don't have the budget for that.

Today, I was wearing my Spinel ring, and someone commented on it, all right.
She called it a "Little Bean"
:lol: :lol: :lol:
But that's all right, because I know that the color of this small Spinel
REALLY sends me !!!!!!! It was my first !!! And I love it soooo much !!!!

Also, I happen to be a "Warm Fuzzie Offender" (WFO)
Whatev....
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
I don't. I don't think I've ever bought something I didn't love, and I don't think I've ever let anyone talk me out of buying something I didn't love.

I do still enjoy hearing dissenting opinions. (Believe it or not TL!)
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
28,978
ooo~Shiney!|1309577709|2960390 said:
Also, I happen to be a "Warm Fuzzie Offender" (WFO)
Whatev....
Now you are no longer a UFO, Unidentified Fuzzie Offender. :lol:
 

ooo~Shiney!

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 6, 2010
Messages
1,501
kenny|1309578952|2960399 said:
ooo~Shiney!|1309577709|2960390 said:
Also, I happen to be a "Warm Fuzzie Offender" (WFO)
Whatev....
Now you are no longer a UFO, Unidentified Fuzzie Offender. :lol:

Heeee Kenny !!!
Oh, BTW, (changing subject briefly)
I just bought my first DSLR, now that's a challenge.... :???:
 

chrono

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 22, 2004
Messages
37,517
A stone is what it is and I am able to appreciate a variety of coloured gemstones of different fineness. I, too, happen to like some rather non trade preferred colours; an obvious example being a medium toned green grossular garnet over a medium dark green grossular garnet aka tsavorite. There are many beautiful stones that I love to look at but not necessarily purchase for myself as well. I know what I like and what I clearly dislike, after many years of looking around and collecting.
 

Tanzigrrl

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 17, 2010
Messages
735
I'm not swayed too much. My perennial favorite are tanzanite, alexandrite, and a whole bunch of different types of garnets. I'm pretty comfortable with my ability to choose a top color tanzanite but once I set out to purchase my first alexandrite, I'll definitely be enlisting the help of PSers, since I don't know "my way around" the stone as well. If I selected an alex. and someone indicated that it wasn't good for whatever reason and suggested another alternative from one of our vendors in the same price range, I'd definitely feel encouraged to take their advice. It is very helpful to me to get input from PSers when it's a colored stone that I do not know as well.
 
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