How much compromise with e-ring?

[MakingTheGrade]

My ex didn't really involve me in the process at all other than asking what shape of diamond I liked. Oy. I ended up resetting the diamond into something I actually liked lol. But it definitely bugged me that refused to let me participate given how much I enjoy jewelry and given he dense he is at it. He literally had given no thought to a setting until he got the diamond and the guy was like "what do you want to see it in" and my ex was like " what do you mean. I want to set it into an engagement ring". He ended up picking the setting that "looks most like my moms".

To his credit he only fussed a little about my resetting it. But still, his inflexibility about gender norms was one of the things that made me crazy!

So yeah. I'd compromise on budget but not much on style and getting what you want. It'll just be more money later to reset it if you end up not loving it.

 

[dtnyc]

While it is just a ring and resets are possible, it really makes the most sense to involve you and get it right the first time. My wonderful husband didn't involve me in the ring selection process and didn't get it right the first time and as a result I have a ring that is not really suitable to our current lifestyle (3 children, travel, etc.) I also have never been happy with the quality of the craftsmanship of the ring.
I have looked into having it reset several times and I have recently gotten quotes on resets from BE, DK, Quest and a local jeweler BUT life keeps getting in the way. My husband's car broke down on his way home from work on Monday & needs a repair that is 2-3x cost of a new setting. Ouch! And we noticed that my car needs a repair. We maintain our vehicles well and his car of course just clicked past the warranty mark, so these are completely unexpected, therefore my reset is on the back burner again. We could cancel a vacation we have planned for the fall, but we love to travel, so my ring will continue to hang out on it's holder rarely worn. I know this is a total first world problem.
I love the sentiment behind my ring, but I am clearly more detail oriented than my H. I think it is wasteful to buy/create a ring that might not delight the wearer. It is such a shame that my ring is too high for me to wear daily, and that so much platinum was used in such a sloppy setting and now as a result it just sits there unloved.


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[daydream believer]

Daydream Believer, My husband has always felt it's my ring and I am the only one that has to love it. I've also changed my mind and purchased a few diamond other rings over the years. On that his attitude has always been I can keep upgrading rings as long as I keep the same husband.

I like that philosophy. Your husband sounds like a smart man.

 

[daydream believer]

Here's the link!!

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/david-klass-ring-in-the-works-join-my-journey.214432/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/david-klass-ring-in-the-works-join-my-journey.214432/[/URL]

Thanks for finding that msop04! It's so helpful for envisioning those styles with an elongated stone.

Last night, I showed BF the DK setting (not the one above, but the bezel setting with two rows of "petals") and he thought it was really unique and beautiful. Without any prompting from me, he asked "That would look really pretty with an oval too, right?"

So for illustrations' sake, I think it's safe to characterize my BF as a very slow sponge. 1) Tell him something, 2) give him a few days to really let it soak in, and 3) when the topic comes up again, he'll have fully absorbed the message (I kid, I kid).

 

[daydream believer]

My ex didn't really involve me in the process at all other than asking what shape of diamond I liked. Oy. I ended up resetting the diamond into something I actually liked lol. But it definitely bugged me that refused to let me participate given how much I enjoy jewelry and given he dense he is at it. He literally had given no thought to a setting until he got the diamond and the guy was like "what do you want to see it in" and my ex was like " what do you mean. I want to set it into an engagement ring". He ended up picking the setting that "looks most like my moms".

To his credit he only fussed a little about my resetting it. But still, his inflexibility about gender norms was one of the things that made me crazy!

So yeah. I'd compromise on budget but not much on style and getting what you want. It'll just be more money later to reset it if you end up not loving it.

Yikes, that is definitely not a good situation. Fortunately, BF seems to be very interested in getting my full input, it's just happening over the course of several conversations. I could definitely see a couple of my ex boyfriends doing something like that though..."well it's just like what your mom and sisters have so I assumed you'd like it!"

And I guess through the course of this thread I'm realizing that I do like having some of BF's input. I wouldn't refer to it as compromising anymore because it's more of a collaboration, which definitely appeals to both of our creative sides.

I've told him that the most important thing to me is a delicate, yellow gold bezel. What's most important to him is that it has a little bit of a unique twist that gives it some "wow" factor. It doesn't seem impossible to both get what we want most, especially with all of the great inspiration that's been posted the last couple of days.

 

[daydream believer]

I feel like I keep swooping into this thread and posting a million responses, but I just realized I forgot to share the majority of my very positive update:

Last night, when the ring topic came up again (BF actually brought it up), I showed him my updated Pinterest page and he was very enthusiastic about all of the "bezels with a twist" that I had included (many of them came from this thread, so thanks!).

The earlier speculation upthread was correct. He actually really appreciates how beautiful a bezel can be as long as there is a unique, artistic detail in the basket, the band, sidestones, etc. so that it has a little extra oomph. And I'm 100% on board with that too because I now realize that with the right jeweler, we could likely get something special without jeopardizing the budget for the diamond.

We played a game where I had him look at the whole Pinterest page and these were his faves:

The split shank and basket of Haven's beauty (I think this might have been the first ring pic I ever saved from PS): [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/its-here-its-here-my-2-30-ct-omb-antique-cushion-upgrade.158760/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/its-here-its-here-my-2-30-ct-omb-antique-cushion-upgrade.158760/[/URL]

The profile on this DK setting: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/forum/files/img/12805965_961937433889061_8658382655184293174_n.jpg']https://www.pricescope.com/forum/files/img/12805965_961937433889061_8658382655184293174_n.jpg[/URL]

The James Meyer YG cushion linked upthread

The profile of this ring from DBL: http://www.diamondsbylauren.com/index.php/jewelry/old-mine-brilliant-142ct-branded-dbl-modern-antique-diamond-gia-r5165

And the top view of this ring (which is similar to the DK "Petal" ring):

 

[msop04]

I feel like I keep swooping into this thread and posting a million responses, but I just realized I forgot to share the majority of my very positive update:

Last night, when the ring topic came up again (BF actually brought it up), I showed him my updated Pinterest page and he was very enthusiastic about all of the "bezels with a twist" that I had included (many of them came from this thread, so thanks!).

The earlier speculation upthread was correct. He actually really appreciates how beautiful a bezel can be as long as there is a unique, artistic detail in the basket, the band, sidestones, etc. so that it has a little extra oomph. And I'm 100% on board with that too because I now realize that with the right jeweler, we could likely get something special without jeopardizing the budget for the diamond.

We played a game where I had him look at the whole Pinterest page and these were his faves:

The split shank and basket of Haven's beauty (I think this might have been the first ring pic I ever saved from PS): [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/its-here-its-here-my-2-30-ct-omb-antique-cushion-upgrade.158760/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/its-here-its-here-my-2-30-ct-omb-antique-cushion-upgrade.158760/[/URL]

The profile on this DK setting: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/forum/files/img/12805965_961937433889061_8658382655184293174_n.jpg']https://www.pricescope.com/forum/files/img/12805965_961937433889061_8658382655184293174_n.jpg[/URL]

The James Meyer YG cushion linked upthread

The profile of this ring from DBL: http://www.diamondsbylauren.com/index.php/jewelry/old-mine-brilliant-142ct-branded-dbl-modern-antique-diamond-gia-r5165

And the top view of this ring (which is similar to the DK "Petal" ring):

YAY!! This is great news!!! [emoji322][emoji322][emoji322]

 

[PintoBean]

Hmmm... based on what you like, I think DK may be the right vendor to work with for your setting!!!!

 

[lovedogs]

I feel like I keep swooping into this thread and posting a million responses, but I just realized I forgot to share the majority of my very positive update:

Last night, when the ring topic came up again (BF actually brought it up), I showed him my updated Pinterest page and he was very enthusiastic about all of the "bezels with a twist" that I had included (many of them came from this thread, so thanks!).

The earlier speculation upthread was correct. He actually really appreciates how beautiful a bezel can be as long as there is a unique, artistic detail in the basket, the band, sidestones, etc. so that it has a little extra oomph. And I'm 100% on board with that too because I now realize that with the right jeweler, we could likely get something special without jeopardizing the budget for the diamond.

We played a game where I had him look at the whole Pinterest page and these were his faves:

The split shank and basket of Haven's beauty (I think this might have been the first ring pic I ever saved from PS): [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/its-here-its-here-my-2-30-ct-omb-antique-cushion-upgrade.158760/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/its-here-its-here-my-2-30-ct-omb-antique-cushion-upgrade.158760/[/URL]

The profile on this DK setting: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/forum/files/img/12805965_961937433889061_8658382655184293174_n.jpg']https://www.pricescope.com/forum/files/img/12805965_961937433889061_8658382655184293174_n.jpg[/URL]

The James Meyer YG cushion linked upthread

The profile of this ring from DBL: http://www.diamondsbylauren.com/index.php/jewelry/old-mine-brilliant-142ct-branded-dbl-modern-antique-diamond-gia-r5165

And the top view of this ring (which is similar to the DK "Petal" ring):

yay! Sounds like you guys are making awesome progress, and that it's definitely going to be possible to get something you are both thrilled with! It's definitely true that sometimes (at least in my experience), men need time to let things "soak in", kind of like your bf and bezel/oval designs. I'm so happy it seems to be working out well for everyone!

 

[msop04]

Hmmm... based on what you like, I think DK may be the right vendor to work with for your setting!!!!

I agree, Pinto! ...and I vote for the leaf bezel!!

 

[msop04]

Just to clarify, I vote a cross between this:

and CVB's "Artemis" solitaire:

 

[lovedogs]

Just to clarify, I vote a cross between this:



and CVB's "Artemis" solitaire:

MSOP: you are brilliant! This is exactly the perfect combo (IMHO), and will likely please both parties! hooray!

 

[msop04]

Just to clarify, I vote a cross between this:



and CVB's "Artemis" solitaire:

MSOP: you are brilliant! This is exactly the perfect combo (IMHO), and will likely please both parties! hooray!

HA! I don't know about that, but I really love this style! [emoji7][emoji8][emoji8]