How many of you changed your minds from what you think you wanted in an e-ring?

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Just wondering how many of you changed your minds on what you wanted for your ering - for whatever reason! Did you regret not going with the one you “dreamed of”?

 

[missy]

Oh my goodness yes. I changed my mind many times. I finally found my dream HG stone. Still searching for my dream setting but that will come in time. The stone was the big challenge. It’s easier to change a setting. I have zero regrets. I went on exactly the right path to get to where I needed to be.

 

[Tourmaline]

Like @missy, I have changed my engagement stone cut style repeatedly since getting married. I’m glad I didn’t have to stick with what I wanted when I was 26.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Thanks for weighing in @missy and @Tourmaline! I’m asking because I feel torn on what I want to do for an e-ring, and I’m putting pressure on myself because I know that I will want to wear that ring forever (even if I get an anniversary ring in the future I would still want to wear my e-ring). so hearing other stories always helps in reassuring me that it’s okay to do things a bit differently to my original “plan” and it’s okay to change my mind

 

[ringo865]

Like wearing the same shirt for 50 years. No, just no. I’ve got probably 4 or 5 e-rings. From one husband. He gets it. (Sorta)

 

[lovedogs]

Yes! I was sure I wanted a 3 stone or a pear. When I tried on those styles IRL I didn't feel like they fit. I ended up with a round halo as my original ring. And now I have like 4 alternate rings

 

[peacechick]

My taste is still the same. I like coloured stones with interesting diamond settings and I wanted a surprise. My husband did a great job for his then very limited budget, and I still love the ring, just have bigger gems and more rings with a better budget.

 

[VRBeauty]

I sure did! We had been planning to reset an heirloom 2+ carat OEC for my e-ring, when - in a moment of clarity - I decided that I really wanted to continue wearing a 3-stone ring I already own as my “e-ring!” It’s about 1.6 carats total, very comfortable to wear as an everyday ring, and a design that I love. haven’t regretted that decision for a second. One of these days my hubby will reset that OEC for me in a setting that can be worn on either hand, but I plan to continue wearing my 3-stone as my “primary” e-ring.

 

[MillieLou]

Funnily enough my current ring was my original "dream", but we could not have afforded it at the time we got engaged. I am glad we did not stretch our finances at the time - much better to invest that into a house which is now paid off. People put far too much pressure on themselves to make the original ring The One forever. Tastes change, lifestyles change, jewellery gets lost, damaged... How many of us on here are still on our original e-ring?

IMO get what you want right now and plan to keep it forever - which does not necessarily mean committing to wearing it forever. Anniversary rings can always be added. You can't predict how your tastes are going to change in future.

I do regret trading in my original e-ring stone rather than keeping it to set into a pendant.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

@lovedogs, @ringo865, @peacechick and @VRBeauty - thank you for weighing in! I think the reason I’m going back and forth is that my taste hasn’t really changed, but I now have a second path that’s opened up and I’m just mulling thoughts over in my head about it.

I have the opportunity of using an heirloom vintage diamond as my ering, generously offered by my SO’s mom. The first choice is actually mine, and no issues if I reset the stone etc. If I decide not to take it, she will give it to his sister as his sister already has an ering, she’s completely on board with me having it for an ering and having it be my choice. The stone is an old cut round (I don’t know how old - she can’t tell. When I asked, she just said it’s old), and it’s in the ballpark of 3.25-4ct, which is larger than what we originally figured we could go for. I had my heart set on an EC, but my SO said we could get a smaller EC right now for me to wear as an RHR / discreet ering, and in the future for a milestone anniversary, if I still wanted, we could do a much bigger EC. I’m not going to pick the heirloom if I don’t like it, ofc. And I can’t see it for another few months at least so this decision making crunch time is some time away. Just thoughts…

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Funnily enough my current ring was my original "dream", but we could not have afforded it at the time we got engaged. I am glad we did not stretch our finances at the time - much better to invest that into a house which is now paid off. People put far too much pressure on themselves to make the original ring The One forever. Tastes change, lifestyles change, jewellery gets lost, damaged... How many of us on here are still on our original e-ring?

IMO get what you want right now and plan to keep it forever - which does not necessarily mean committing to wearing it forever. Anniversary rings can always be added. You can't predict how your tastes are going to change in future.

I do regret trading in my original e-ring stone rather than keeping it to set into a pendant.

That’s another point - I have the option of making a less expensive decision today and having it be a really beautiful one! We could put that money saved today into our future.

I definitely 100% know that I won’t trade in my ering, whatever we go with. I’m too sentimental. I’ll repurpose the stone into other jewelry, sure, but I won’t let go of it.

 

[Austina]

Yes, I didn’t have an ER when we got married. It was only seeing a fellow PSer’s OEC that I realised that’s what I wanted. I was then very fortunate to meet @missy, and the rest is history!

 

[realhauswife]

@lovedogs, @ringo865, @peacechick and @VRBeauty - thank you for weighing in! I think the reason I’m going back and forth is that my taste hasn’t really changed, but I now have a second path that’s opened up and I’m just mulling thoughts over in my head about it.

I have the opportunity of using an heirloom vintage diamond as my ering, generously offered by my SO’s mom. The first choice is actually mine, and no issues if I reset the stone etc. If I decide not to take it, she will give it to his sister as his sister already has an ering, she’s completely on board with me having it for an ering and having it be my choice. The stone is an old cut round (I don’t know how old - she can’t tell. When I asked, she just said it’s old), and it’s in the ballpark of 3.25-4ct, which is larger than what we originally figured we could go for. I had my heart set on an EC, but my SO said we could get a smaller EC right now for me to wear as an RHR / discreet ering, and in the future for a milestone anniversary, if I still wanted, we could do a much bigger EC. I’m not going to pick the heirloom if I don’t like it, ofc. And I can’t see it for another few months at least so this decision making crunch time is some time away. Just thoughts…

Sounds like you have a lot to think about! In my personal experience, I've always loved step cuts. I had a round for about a year because it's what I thought was more "classic" or whatever- and they absolutely are beautiful and timeless!

However, I just couldn't get an EC out of my mind. There is something about step cuts for me that I am so drawn to and can stare at all day. I admire rounds and other shapes, but I don't get that same feeling when looking at them.

I also learned along the way that I am very particular about the ring I wear and needed to have high color/clarity in my stone. I have my dream EC now and feel so happy and satisfied with it- a feeling I didn't have with the previous ring.

Whatever you choose, it sounds like you have a very supportive partner!

 

[MillieLou]

The heirloom stone sounds amazing! I would be tempted to take it, and put the money you would have spent towards a fabulous giant EC later on.

I must say I do have the same EC bug as @Fllama though. Nothing else quite scratches the itch for me.

Can your MIL not take a few videos of the stone? If you tell her a load of obsessives are impatiently waiting for it online?

 

[bludiva]

i totally did. i thought i wanted an eternity band instead of a traditional ering, didn't like how those looked on me. then i thought i wanted a halo, ended up preferring the simplicity of a solitaire. reserve the right to change my mind again, though!

 

[KristyDarling]

My taste has evolved with time so while I do still wear my original e-ring, it's not necessarily what makes my heart sing. I still think it's pretty but I wear it infrequently. However, I'll never get rid of it because of what it represents - the precious earliest days of our marriage.

Today, the rings I wear most frequently symbolize the present and reflect my taste right now. I hope they'll continue to bring me enjoyment in the years to come (I try to lean classic and avoid trends), and I purchase with longevity in mind, but as a collector and passionate bling enthusiast, I always reserve the right to sell and update/upgrade.

 

[bludiva]

@lovedogs, @ringo865, @peacechick and @VRBeauty - thank you for weighing in! I think the reason I’m going back and forth is that my taste hasn’t really changed, but I now have a second path that’s opened up and I’m just mulling thoughts over in my head about it.

I have the opportunity of using an heirloom vintage diamond as my ering, generously offered by my SO’s mom. The first choice is actually mine, and no issues if I reset the stone etc. If I decide not to take it, she will give it to his sister as his sister already has an ering, she’s completely on board with me having it for an ering and having it be my choice. The stone is an old cut round (I don’t know how old - she can’t tell. When I asked, she just said it’s old), and it’s in the ballpark of 3.25-4ct, which is larger than what we originally figured we could go for. I had my heart set on an EC, but my SO said we could get a smaller EC right now for me to wear as an RHR / discreet ering, and in the future for a milestone anniversary, if I still wanted, we could do a much bigger EC. I’m not going to pick the heirloom if I don’t like it, ofc. And I can’t see it for another few months at least so this decision making crunch time is some time away. Just thoughts…

This is the best kind of dilemma, nothing but good options. =D

If you want my two cents, once you see the heirloom stone you'll know if you can wear it as an ering or not. I think you'll know right away. If so, you can wear it for a few years and wait and decide what you want in an EC right hand ring for your milestone anniversary. If not, you can say very complimentary things and politely decline and then get on the hunt for an EC. It's a generous gesture from your future MiL but If the old cut isn't for you, nothing wrong with deciding on a ring yourselves imho. But I would hesitate to accept the heirloom plus buy a smaller EC immediately -- it undercuts the gift somewhat. Again, just my two cents and take it with a big grain of salt.

 

[Tourmaline]

Oh my goodness, I hope you take the gift from your intended’s mom! You can always set that in a pendant years from now when you and your husband can afford a larger EC!

 

[meely]

Congrats on your engagement! The family stone sounds interesting! Personally, and I realise this is not what you were suggesting but as other posters have, I would not take it and then reset it later on or replace with an emerald cut but keep the family diamond. I think that could come across as very ungrateful. If I was the mil or sil I would have hurt feelings and possibly some degree of resentment if that happened. I would be thinking very carefully at this point and certainly later on if a replacement ring was decided upon that the family diamond would go to sil if she wanted it.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Thank you for your thoughts @Austina, @bludiva and @KristyDarling! It’s reassuring that I’m not the only one who changes my mind and goes back and forth, back and forth I never liked OECs before joining PS, and now I love them. But I always loved eternities also, I really liked what you said about how you’d never get rid of your ring as it represented the earliest days of your marriage. I too am that sentimental

Sounds like you have a lot to think about! In my personal experience, I've always loved step cuts. I had a round for about a year because it's what I thought was more "classic" or whatever- and they absolutely are beautiful and timeless!

However, I just couldn't get an EC out of my mind. There is something about step cuts for me that I am so drawn to and can stare at all day. I admire rounds and other shapes, but I don't get that same feeling when looking at them.

I also learned along the way that I am very particular about the ring I wear and needed to have high color/clarity in my stone. I have my dream EC now and feel so happy and satisfied with it- a feeling I didn't have with the previous ring.

Whatever you choose, it sounds like you have a very supportive partner!

I too just LOVE step cuts, but I also think that it would be foolish to turn the (round) heirloom down without looking at it. It’s a question of “delayed gratification” almost but putting it that way makes me sound so ungrateful, which I’m not. If I love the old stone it would be such a win-win situation!!

The heirloom stone sounds amazing! I would be tempted to take it, and put the money you would have spent towards a fabulous giant EC later on.

I must say I do have the same EC bug as @Fllama though. Nothing else quite scratches the itch for me.

Can your MIL not take a few videos of the stone? If you tell her a load of obsessives are impatiently waiting for it online?

ECs are my favourite cut too - we are all in the same boat here! I think it will be interesting when I see the stone - I think I would know when I see it what I want to do with it. It hasn’t seen the light of day in at least a few years!

Also - I hope it’s okay if I don’t post any pics or vids. I had a very bad experience on a different forum a few years ago where some people pieced together info about me through my pics and some stuff I’d shared online and threatened to find me etc. It took me a long time to join a forum after that and I made it a rule not to share pics and vids anymore I’m sorry!

This is the best kind of dilemma, nothing but good options. =D

If you want my two cents, once you see the heirloom stone you'll know if you can wear it as an ering or not. I think you'll know right away. If so, you can wear it for a few years and wait and decide what you want in an EC right hand ring for your milestone anniversary. If not, you can say very complimentary things and politely decline and then get on the hunt for an EC. It's a generous gesture from your future MiL but If the old cut isn't for you, nothing wrong with deciding on a ring yourselves imho. But I would hesitate to accept the heirloom plus buy a smaller EC immediately -- it undercuts the gift somewhat. Again, just my two cents and take it with a big grain of salt.

I think this is a very good point and basically what we will do. The engagement is still at least a year away, we’re just bringing it up now so that the ring can be squared away, and if we don’t go heirloom, we will have time to find the perfect ering. I think at that point if we do go with heirloom, we’d be looking at a bigger EC for a 10th or 15th anniversary because then I’d like to go BIG, if we do the big EC at all. Also, the smaller EC idea is still up for debate for now. If we go with it, my SO will present it to me as the “wedding gift”, not as an ering (it’s a cultural thing in some Indian communities, where the husband gives the wife a piece of jewelry to commemorate your first day/night as a married couple); so it should be okay with my future MIL, but he will be speaking with her about it if we lean that direction. I think I would be okay to wait.

Oh my goodness, I hope you take the gift from your intended’s mom! You can always set that in a pendant years from now when you and your husband can afford a larger EC!

I can’t wait to see it and evaluate it for myself! Though personally if I end up taking it as an ering it will remain my ering forever. A bigger EC would be an anniversary ring, and I would wear both gladly, but I wouldn’t reset this stone… it would make for a rather large pendant for one, besides I wouldn’t want his family to feel bad. I would then rather give it to our hypothetical kid to propose / use as an ering.

Congrats on your engagement! The family stone sounds interesting! Personally, and I realise this is not what you were suggesting but as other posters have, I would not take it and then reset it later on or replace with an emerald cut but keep the family diamond. I think that could come across as very ungrateful. If I was the mil or sil I would have hurt feelings and possibly some degree of resentment if that happened. I would be thinking very carefully at this point and certainly later on if a replacement ring was decided upon that the family diamond would go to sil if she wanted it.

Thank you! Though I should clarify we aren’t engaged yet! I mean it’s going to happen, but not for another year or so. We’re just sorting out the ring in advance haha. I agree with you, I wouldn’t want to create any inadvertent drama. To be honest if that’s the ring he proposes with, then that’s THE ring for me. It will be my ering forever, and any other rings to come will become anniversary rings or bands. That’s actually why I told my SO I will only accept it if I think I actually would do it justice!

 

[Mreader]

@AllAboardTheBlingTrain 3.4 - 4 ct - ‘nuff said!

 

[daisygrl]

I have never changed my mind. I have always wanted a round solitaire of a substantial size in a Tiffany-like setting. I am still searching for the perfect stone, though. As soon as I received my very recent upgrade, I told my husband that I would upgrade the stone very soon because it is still not the one. He gets it. That is why he is my husband.

 

[Bron357]

Yes and no.
I always wanted an Arygle Pink so 21 odd years ago thats what DH (now) and I looked at. I was quite underwhelmed by the size, .50 ish for a certified Arygle 3P with SI clarity. It was around $50,000 AUD. Even with a halo it was going to look well, small. So I went with an Art Deco EC ring which was 4.35 carats plus extras.
That darn 3P Pink would be worth WAY WAY more now.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

@AllAboardTheBlingTrain 3.4 - 4 ct - ‘nuff said!

The size ho in me is leaning that way too!

I have never changed my mind. I have always wanted a round solitaire of a substantial size in a Tiffany-like setting. I am still searching for the perfect stone, though. As soon as I received my very recent upgrade, I told my husband that I would upgrade the stone very soon because it is still not the one. He gets it. That is why he is my husband.

aww I think it’s great that your husband is on board with you upgrading and he wants to make you happy! My SO isn’t a huge fan of the concept (neither am I, to be honest) - we are both of the view that we can buy another stone but not sell an existing sentimental stone, and he feels that way even stronger than I do. It does mean that there’s pressure to get this one “right” if you know what I mean!

Yes and no.
I always wanted an Arygle Pink so 21 odd years ago thats what DH (now) and I looked at. I was quite underwhelmed by the size, .50 ish for a certified Arygle 3P with SI clarity. It was around $50,000 AUD. Even with a halo it was going to look well, small. So I went with an Art Deco EC ring which was 4.35 carats plus extras.
That darn 3P Pink would be worth WAY WAY more now.

Do you regret not getting the 3P pink, or do you think you made the right call (given how prices went up??

 

[Bron357]

The size ho in me is leaning that way too!




aww I think it’s great that your husband is on board with you upgrading and he wants to make you happy! My SO isn’t a huge fan of the concept (neither am I, to be honest) - we are both of the view that we can buy another stone but not sell an existing sentimental stone, and he feels that way even stronger than I do. It does mean that there’s pressure to get this one “right” if you know what I mean!




Do you regret not getting the 3P pink, or do you think you made the right call (given how prices went up??

I regret “missing out” on the massive increase in value (of the pink diamond) and that because of the massive increase in price my chance to own an Arygle pink has passed (unless I win Lotto or something).
I don’t regret saying no to a size that would have looked lost on my hand (big hands) and that everyone would have just assumed it was a pink sapphire anyway.
I adore my Art Deco emerald cut diamond and with the reset I did a few years ago everyday I look down and fall in love all over again.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I regret “missing out” on the massive increase in value (of the pink diamond) and that because of the massive increase in price my chance to own an Arygle pink has passed (unless I win Lotto or something).
I don’t regret saying no to a size that would have looked lost on my hand (big hands) and that everyone would have just assumed it was a pink sapphire anyway.
I adore my Art Deco emerald cut diamond and with the reset I did a few years ago everyday I look down and fall in love all over again.

FWIW I completely understand why you went for the EC - 4.35ct of yummy flashy step cut goodness!! Thats 100% the choice I would’ve made as well. Your ring sounds beautiful (I adore Art Deco settings) and has a huge presence.

 

[Bron357]

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

That is GORGEOUS

 

[rockysalamander]

I had a very strong opinion on what I wanted, but my husband presented a ring that was 100% not my style and impractical (but what he could afford and could source on his own). Then, my grandmother convinced him to give me an ring from her. That ring came off my finger in a flood and was lost. No ring for 15 years. I wear a bunch of things I bought myself these days. Maybe is nostalgia, but I'm contemplating getting a ring in that first style I wanted that these days.

 

[lulu_ma]

When DH and I first started looking at erings, I wanted a tension setting. Then I wanted a beautiful Ceylon sapphire and diamond ring from Stuart Moore. But when I thought long and hard about, I ended choosing an emerald cut and I still love my stone 26 years later. She’s a classic beauty IMO.

If I were in your shoes, I would absolutely take a look at the family stone. However, if it doesn’t sing to you, I would still go with an emerald cut.