- Joined
- Feb 2, 2016
- Messages
- 11,912
I'm going to try not to make this a book. Back in 2015 early 2016, I had a fallout with my best friend, we were friends for almost twenty years and we had a disagreement over of all things, a christmas card. Anyways I reached out to apologize shortly after but she never responded, never really got closure as I know in the end she was pulling away and it would have been helpful to know if it was something I did or said.
Basically all of 2016 I was in a personal hell, I slept a lot, ate a lot and felt like I had a huge hole in my heart, the following year wasn't much better but in 2018 I just had so much pent up anger and sadness that I started keeping a journal and it has helped. I find that there are things that trigger me and then I feel sad all over again, like yesterday when DH said he considered reaching out to her on Facebook to get us back in touch. Now I know his heart is in a good place but I was horrified, part of me really would love to reconnect because I think about her frequently and hope she is doing well. On the other hand though, she really did a number on me emotionally and I just don't know that I want to go through that again. Like if we were to reconnect and then it didn't work out or if she rejected me I would be totally devastated and just don't know if I could emotionally handle that again.
DH has encouraged me to make friends, but I have no interest at all, I am totally jaded from what I went though before and although I know that is not a healthy outlook it's honestly how I feel, I would much rather be alone. He has encouraged me to go out and do things and meet people but I just have no desire at all.
Anyone else that has a lost a long term friendship that can offer how long until this emptiness and sadness leaves? It has been three years at this point and it has gotten better but it feels like there will always be this constant pain from losing her. Any thoughts or advice is appreciated.
Basically all of 2016 I was in a personal hell, I slept a lot, ate a lot and felt like I had a huge hole in my heart, the following year wasn't much better but in 2018 I just had so much pent up anger and sadness that I started keeping a journal and it has helped. I find that there are things that trigger me and then I feel sad all over again, like yesterday when DH said he considered reaching out to her on Facebook to get us back in touch. Now I know his heart is in a good place but I was horrified, part of me really would love to reconnect because I think about her frequently and hope she is doing well. On the other hand though, she really did a number on me emotionally and I just don't know that I want to go through that again. Like if we were to reconnect and then it didn't work out or if she rejected me I would be totally devastated and just don't know if I could emotionally handle that again.
DH has encouraged me to make friends, but I have no interest at all, I am totally jaded from what I went though before and although I know that is not a healthy outlook it's honestly how I feel, I would much rather be alone. He has encouraged me to go out and do things and meet people but I just have no desire at all.
Anyone else that has a lost a long term friendship that can offer how long until this emptiness and sadness leaves? It has been three years at this point and it has gotten better but it feels like there will always be this constant pain from losing her. Any thoughts or advice is appreciated.