Home How long did you wait before you got married?

[White Orchid]

We got engaged 3 years into our relationship and were married a year later. The timing was right for us.

 

[joflier]

Date: 4/23/2009 4:36:04 PM
Author: LitigatorChick
Hey. DH asked for a divorce in the middle of last year and that was finalized by November (not the divorce but all the matrimonial property, child support, etc.). I have been dating lots since DH dumped me (seems that the ex was wrong when he told me that no one would be interested in me), so this is definately not a rebound guy!!!!

your ex sounds like a gem.

Good for you for finding someone that you truely connect with!

 

[icekid]

Date: 4/23/2009 5:01:01 PM
Author: joflier

Date: 4/23/2009 4:36:04 PM
Author: LitigatorChick
Hey. DH asked for a divorce in the middle of last year and that was finalized by November (not the divorce but all the matrimonial property, child support, etc.). I have been dating lots since DH dumped me (seems that the ex was wrong when he told me that no one would be interested in me), so this is definately not a rebound guy!!!!

your ex sounds like a gem.

Good for you for finding someone that you truely connect with!

Ditto! You definitely deserve better.

For us, engaged at 2 years married at 3.5. However, I would say this time around you''re a bit older, and know what you need and want. When you''re ready, you''re ready!

 

[LitigatorChick]

Thanks all. The weird thing is that he left me. I believe in marriage and would have stuck it out, depsite how awful things were. Thank goodness he left me, cause I have now discovered how a woman should be treated. And my BF could not be less like my ex. Absolutely incredible. It is just such a different experience.

Case in point. I met my ex at a bar - nice. My BF ended up selling me his car, and we bonded over the car, and the day he sadly delivered it to me, we ended up talking until 3 a.m.!!!! And we haven''t shut up since. So from yucky start to beautiful start. And that is just the beginning!!!!

 

[TravelingGal]

LC, you sound a lot happier...I''m am so glad for you. It is totally apparent even in your typed words. You just sounded miserable for awhile!!

 

[absolut_blonde]

Litigatorchick, I am so happy for you! I agree that you seem much happier now than you did previously. I remember seeing some of your older posts and wondering how things had turned out.


I''ve been with SO for just over a year and a half now... pretty sure we''ll get engaged around the two-year mark. I don''t want a long engagement so I figure we''ll be married after three years together. We met when I was 23 and did long-distance for a year so for us, I think that will end up being a good length of time.

 

[neatfreak]

LC-You really do sound SO much happier. I am so glad you got rid of the ex. He wasn''t good for you OR Miller.

Best of luck with your new relationship!!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Date: 4/23/2009 5:57:23 PM
Author: neatfreak
LC-You really do sound SO much happier. I am so glad you got rid of the ex. He wasn''t good for you OR Miller.

Best of luck with your new relationship!!

I agree!

Find happiness and cling to it!!

Paul and I dated a tad under a year and half before we got engaged, and then were married 6 months later. Knew one another one month shy of 2 years when we married. Seemed like *forever* to wait that long, since we both knew it was meant to be, and I wasn''t a patient girl about it toward the end, but I''m very content with how it''s played out.

 

[April20]

We got married 9 months after the first time we met- and that meeting was brief- as in "my name is...". I moved to the same area six week later and once we started dating, we were married within 5 1/2 months. For us it was perfect. We''d been in enough relationships to know what we were looking for and what did and did not work. We knew we worked.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Date: 4/23/2009 5:03:55 PM
Author: icekid

Date: 4/23/2009 5:01:01 PM

Author: joflier

Date: 4/23/2009 4:36:04 PM

Author: LitigatorChick

Hey. DH asked for a divorce in the middle of last year and that was finalized by November (not the divorce but all the matrimonial property, child support, etc.). I have been dating lots since DH dumped me (seems that the ex was wrong when he told me that no one would be interested in me), so this is definately not a rebound guy!!!!

your ex sounds like a gem.

Good for you for finding someone that you truely connect with!

Ditto! You definitely deserve better.

Agree, 100%!

 

[Dreamer_D]

DH and I moved in together 9 months after we met (on the internet

) and then were engaged at 1.5 year, married at 2.5 years and this month we have been married for 2 years! It was perfect for us.

LC I am very happy that you lost the dead weight and are much happier now! Like you, my best freind was with a man who was no where near good enough for her and treated her poorly for 10 years, and like you she has since met a very nice man!

I also met DH only 6 months after separating from my ex, and knew very early that I wanted to be with him. However, knowing that and acting on it are two different things. There is certainly a type of intimacy and connection that can be felt immediately--and no I don''t just mean sex

--but the foundation of a good relationship is essentially trust in one another and that takes time to develop no matter how compatible two people are. Enjoy this new phase and being with someone who treats you so well! There is time enough for marriage and all that stuff. Dating is such a fleeting and lovely period in a relationship.

Sometimes I want to be a girlfriend again!

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Wow! Glad you are happier--I wondered where you''d gone....I see lots of (dancing) shoes in your future....

My Dh and I dated for a couple of months, then I called t quits. He moved away and we kept in touch on and off, but reconnected after 5 years. He told me he "waited" for me....we were engaged almost immediately after reconnecting, and married within 8 months. He did NOT want to wait one more minute--and would have gotten married earlier but he wanted the big wedding and all the trimmings that that could not be had (venue) earlier. It was just as well, even tho I had cold feet on a regualr basis--long engagements do not appeal to me.

cheers--Sharon

 

[LaraOnline]

Engaged a few months into our relatinship, and married about 9-10 months after that.

Worked out pretty good.
Perhaps it would have been better in retrospect to marry a few months earlier, and enjoy that ''couple time'' for six months or so before trying for our first baby.
We had a honeymoon conception!
But the pregnancy time was a wonderful love in and I felt ready for the baby by the time it arrived.

Over all, happy as a pig in!!

 

[musey]

We never "waited," I just hate the idea of waiting for the sake of waiting.

We were together a little more than 4.5 years before getting married. It was pretty much the time that it took to get out of college, feel "ready" as adults, get a ring, get engaged, and book our wedding vendors

We were never in a rush, but we never put things off, either. Just did everything when it felt 'right' for our relationship, and for us as individuals.

 

[Clio]

We got married 4 years after we met and about 3 years after we actually started dating. In a perfect world, we would have gotten married a year sooner than we did, because we were both ready at that point, but we had to finish college first!

 

[Kaleigh]

Glad you found some happiness, you so deserve it.

We were together for 4 years by the time we got married. We met in college, graduated and got married a year after graduation. We have been married for 22 years. Time flies.

 

[chiquitapet]

We were married in the 4th year of being together, of which 3 years were long-distance. When we decided to get married, we tied the knot in 1 month - just because the marriage registry wouldn't let us do it sooner.

LC: Very glad to hear you`re happy in your new relationship.

 

[deegee]

Hubby and I got married 1 yr after we started dating, and we''ve been together for 15 years. We were in our mid-twenties when we started dating, and fell head over heels instantly.

 

[shimmer]

We''ve been together 10 yrs and are getting married next week!

LC, I too am very happy for you!

 

[Octavia]

LC, it''s so great that things are so much better in your life now!

FI and I were together a little over 2 years when we got engaged, and will be married a week shy of our 4 year dating anniversary. He proposed a little earlier than I expected, and the engagement has been way too long, but overall I think the timing is good for us -- and hopefully we''ll forget how much the 20-month engagement dragged on once we''re finally married!

 

[Sundial]

This is an interesting thread. It is nice to hear when people find happy relationships after a divorce.

It appears that our timing was on the short side. We were married eleven months after we first met and we will celebrate our 32nd anniversary in June!

 

[Elmorton]

We got married the second the timing was right - a month shy of 3 years together. When we first started dating it was long-distance and we were seniors in college, so not really ideal timing for us, and when DH proposed I was almost done with my first year of grad school.

Our friends have been getting engaged/married lately after shorter periods of time, but I''m in the camp of "when you know, you know."

 

[MonkeyPie]

Engaged at 6 months, married 9 months later. Wow, it seemed so much faster than that at the time!

 

[VRBeauty]

LG -- It''s good to see you posting again, and I''m glad things are going better for you and your son. I seem to recall that you had particularly toxic in-laws, I hope all that is far behind you!

 

[sba771]

LC I am so glad things are looking up for you! I remember your old threads and this is such a nice thing to read!!

FI and I got engaged after 9 months and will be engaged for 2.5 years before the wedding. The engagement time seems too long for me, but as a whole the total time is probably just right because I am pretty young. My mom started seeing a man and her relationship moved really fast and its like they are married (they don''t want to get married because at their age it is not in their financial best interest). I think that is fine if it seems to happen fast because if you have been through the whole marriage or serious relationship thing before you know what you are looking for and how to sort of cut out some of the games or what not.

 

[bee*]

Date: 4/23/2009 5:17:11 PM
Author: TravelingGal
LC, you sound a lot happier...I''m am so glad for you. It is totally apparent even in your typed words. You just sounded miserable for awhile!!

Completely agree! You sound so much happier!

PS-bought any more sexy shoes lately??

 

[elrohwen]

We got engaged around the 2 year mark and are getting married around 3 1/2 years. Perfect for us!

ETA: Forgot to mention that we were friends for about 2 years before we started dating as well. Not best friends or anything, but it helped that I already knew him well by the time we got together.

 

[neatfreak]

Oh and to answer the question we were engaged a year and a half after starting to date and we were basically living together at that point (and had lived together the summer before when we were interning during graduate school in CA). We then got married 6 months later when we had been together two years.

 

[natalina]

Let''s see...we met in October 2002 when we both moved to a new city and became friends getting to know the area, then dated until we moved together to a new state in May 2005. Engaged in July 2006 and married in Sept 2008. So all in all, I guess we knew each other 6 years, but I really only felt like I was "waiting" during the time that we lived together before getting engaged (1 year, 2 months). We wanted to get married ASAP after engagement, but held out for our perfect location and wanted to give family time to book travel, as they are all far away.

Congrats on finding happiness, LC! I think a lot of us here know what it feels like to find yourself in a relationship with the wrong person, and it feels so amazing to finally break free and find the RIGHT person! So happy for you!

 

[Jas12]

Litchick--sorry if this sounds harsh, but YAY for DH dumping you!! I only *know* him from your posts, but you were not treated well and although i commend your strength and multiple attempts at trying to hold things together, it is apparent in your current posts (as Tgal mentions) that you are much, MUCH happier. And you should be! Everyone deserves that and Miller will have a better life b/c of it ( i know he is your little prince

)

To answer your question--we waited 10 years. Yep, 10 years. But we were kids when we started dating exclusively (18 yrs) and i had high school, 5 years of university and travel to fill that time with DH. We didn''t get married simply b/c we were together so long--we were together all those years b/c we knew *some* day we would get married.