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How do you mentally/emotionally cope with the money you’ve “wasted” with this bling hobby/passion?

Polished

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 28, 2012
Messages
1,091
Maybe it's because we have two sides to ourselves. I justify the money I spent on jewelry partly because i think I have learned, I think much more carefully about what I buy now. And I already have a few pieces i really love and wear. I have a DH who doesn't think I need to sell anything, although that wouldn't stop me if I decided a piece should go. Also there were many years where I didn't buy any jewelry so I guess averaging out my jewelry buying over years I haven't spent too much. Probably more than I should have looking back.

The other side of me is impressed where I witness another person not spending too much on jewelry. For instance there was a poster DoeEyes who bought her engagement ring with an eye on getting something she would love but still carefully watching the budget. Got a Lightbox diamond - researched settings and cost. She ended up with something she loved but also enjoyed that she had not spent the big amounts that you so easily can on the item.

I think I'm a combination of not minding spending on jewelry for something I'm going to love but understanding that with care it's possible to get something gorgeous for less. And the understanding that less can give you immense pleasure also.
 

Snowdrop13

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 27, 2011
Messages
2,071
I’m generally very careful with money and don’t overspend on anything. I was quite shocked the other day when talking to my mum, she, a retired teacher has been using a $100 day moisturiser, me, a working professional uses a $20 one! We each choose what to waste money on. I like the car analogy. The depreciation and loss on the 6 cars I’ve owned in my life WAAAY exceeds my jewellery spend.

Anyway, am I going to buy my $1000 red spinel today, or not???
 

dk168

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 7, 2013
Messages
6,945
What I had spent to keep my beloved car that I had for 14 years on the road was enough to buy another new one with better specifications outright. :roll2:

I finally let her go when she needed another 2.5k GBP of repairs. Two major faults developed within days of each other. I believe it was her way of telling me to let her go, so I did.

I cried when she was collected to go to the scrapyard. :cry2:

She was one of my constants since I had her in 2002, and we had some great times together. I still miss her dearly.

DK :))
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
40,426
What I had spent to keep my beloved car that I had for 14 years on the road was enough to buy another new one with better specifications outright. :roll2:

I finally let her go when she needed another 2.5k GBP of repairs. Two major faults developed within days of each other. I believe it was her way of telling me to let her go, so I did.

I cried when she was collected to go to the scrapyard. :cry2:

She was one of my constants since I had her in 2002, and we had some great times together. I still miss her dearly.

DK :))
I cried when we had to let our old car go too. Isn’t it funny how sentimental we can be about things all the while knowing intellectually it’s crazy. I think I’m going to cry when we trade in our current car too. :(
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
40,426
I’m generally very careful with money and don’t overspend on anything. I was quite shocked the other day when talking to my mum, she, a retired teacher has been using a $100 day moisturiser, me, a working professional uses a $20 one! We each choose what to waste money on. I like the car analogy. The depreciation and loss on the 6 cars I’ve owned in my life WAAAY exceeds my jewellery spend.

Anyway, am I going to buy my $1000 red spinel today, or not???
Yassssss❤
 

LisaRN

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 1, 2007
Messages
3,370
I spent a ton of money on pearls and then this summer I fell out of love with pearls. That seemed like money totally wasted to me. Good thing is now that the weather is changing, I am back to loving them. But it did make me think about how much money I have spent on jewelry.

I am on a ban now. I did allow myself to buy a band for work since COVID has made me not want to wear my E-rings. The longer I am on the ban, the better I feel about my jewelry purchases. Not allowing new pieces makes me appreciate the pieces I already have. Now when I am tempted to buy something I think about how that money could be used elsewhere. For example, that ring I like is the cost of a new roof or that pendant is the cost of a new living room sectional. That helps me put things in perspective.
 

Alybird

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 28, 2020
Messages
18
I have bought some stuff that I don't wear anymore and in going through my jewelry box the other day, this exact thought came up and I thought it strange why I run through a mental balance sheet over skincare products but not jewelry. Although I don't wear these pieces anymore, I am content to hold on to them. They still spark joy and feel abundant because I purchased them after thorough consideration and out of appreciation for their inherent qualities even if it didn't necessarily translate in terms of practicality. So, I suppose there is value in that albeit not monetary value.

I am okay with holding onto them until the right time comes to transfer them. I've thought about holding a private sale on social media, selling them at an attractive price to people who I know will love and wear them. But for now, I'm cool with them hanging out in my collection! They remind me of happy memories and highlights or celebrations in my life and the times that I treated myself to something nice just because.
 

Jsand

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 6, 2019
Messages
208
It can be different for every purchase. When I first started buying jewellery I bought items that would be considered junk by PS standards, on Etsy and from instagram vendors. Real gold and gemstones but low quality. I enjoyed them for a few months or even weeks before selling them at a loss. But this was an introductory learning curve, the items weren’t overly expensive, and it was fun. So mentally/emotionally that money hasn’t bothered me.

A different scenario though which left me slightly furious and has really put me off my budding hobby of online bling purchases, and also buying from smaller businesses: I recently bought a pink spinel from a vendor recommended here. It got stuck at the post office and of course USPS can’t find it even though tracking said “delivered” to this post office. I contacted the seller to let them know, asked what is a reasonable time frame for me to wait for it to be found before asking about next steps or refunds. He immediately jumped down my throat, came to the conclusion that I was scamming them, and sent multiple nasty, personal and accusatory messages. So I have no stone and he wouldn’t even entertain the idea of a partial refund. This experience left me beyond insulted and angry. The cost of the stone was truly not worth my time attempting to scam him! Not was it worth disrupting my inner peace. So mentally and emotionally this one has been a waste. But as for the money...not enough to get truly upset over so I’m telling myself he must need it more than I do and moving on, rather than dragging it out and causing myself more turmoil!
 

BlingBlingLova

Shiny_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
179
I hate to say this, but i really don’t have any missteps in my bling journey. I only wish I found ID jewelry sooner than I did! And pricescope too! But, I think it is because I save my money for months and it is all thought out so that when the time comes, I am ready and the bling comes out before than i expected!
 

canuk-gal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 19, 2004
Messages
21,152
I cried when we had to let our old car go too. Isn’t it funny how sentimental we can be about things all the while knowing intellectually it’s crazy. I think I’m going to cry when we trade in our current car too. :(
Gotcha.
 

pearaffair

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 15, 2015
Messages
3,017
It can be different for every purchase. When I first started buying jewellery I bought items that would be considered junk by PS standards, on Etsy and from instagram vendors. Real gold and gemstones but low quality. I enjoyed them for a few months or even weeks before selling them at a loss. But this was an introductory learning curve, the items weren’t overly expensive, and it was fun. So mentally/emotionally that money hasn’t bothered me.

A different scenario though which left me slightly furious and has really put me off my budding hobby of online bling purchases, and also buying from smaller businesses: I recently bought a pink spinel from a vendor recommended here. It got stuck at the post office and of course USPS can’t find it even though tracking said “delivered” to this post office. I contacted the seller to let them know, asked what is a reasonable time frame for me to wait for it to be found before asking about next steps or refunds. He immediately jumped down my throat, came to the conclusion that I was scamming them, and sent multiple nasty, personal and accusatory messages. So I have no stone and he wouldn’t even entertain the idea of a partial refund. This experience left me beyond insulted and angry. The cost of the stone was truly not worth my time attempting to scam him! Not was it worth disrupting my inner peace. So mentally and emotionally this one has been a waste. But as for the money...not enough to get truly upset over so I’m telling myself he must need it more than I do and moving on, rather than dragging it out and causing myself more turmoil!
Oh I am so so sorry you went through this :(
 

pearaffair

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 15, 2015
Messages
3,017
I hate to say this, but i really don’t have any missteps in my bling journey. I only wish I found ID jewelry sooner than I did! And pricescope too! But, I think it is because I save my money for months and it is all thought out so that when the time comes, I am ready and the bling comes out before than i expected!
You’re my inspiration!
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 22, 2020
Messages
765
I think the healthiest way to look at it as to reframe it as a cost paid for an experience rather than a loss. Ultimately, all jewelry is frivolous. Of course be mindful and try to be measured and not impulsive, those are generally good habits to have. But if those pieces gave you joy at some point, and then you rehab or sell them because they don’t anymore, the money you “lost” can be thought of as the cost of renting that piece in it’s original condition, and the experience of wearing it. It’s a hobby and a passion, it doesn’t need to make perfect financial sense as long as it’s not bankrupting you. Something that enriches the soul is as important as something that nourishes the body or the bank account (with the obvious caveat that you’re not sacrificing money for necessities to buy luxuries).

At the end of the day, the thing that makes the best financial sense is to live in the smallest, cheapest home you can find (in the cheapest safe area of town), use the bare minimum of electricity and water to get by, eat nothing but rice/beans/lentils/potatoes (cheapest staple foods), and work as much paid overtime as possible. But if you did just that and nothing else for the rest of your life, you’d be missing out on so much, and you’re hardly going to be able to use the wealth you accumulate after death. As long as you can comfortably afford your lifestyle and you’ve built up some retirement/nest egg/savings etc you shouldn’t feel guilty about spending a reasonable amount of money on something that fills you with joy.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
40,426
So, in the past few weeks or so we bought a new Generac whole house generator (being delivered sometime soon) and a newer model car. And I am budgeted and ready to find OEC studs.

I am not concentrating on all the money we are spending. Rather, I am thinking of the additional function and joy we will be experiencing with our new material possessions. Peace of mind in a storm when we lose power. Additional safety when driving due to the newer safety features in the new car. Worth the cost for additional peace of mind.

What it comes down to is
1.Will this bring us joy and
2.Will it make our lives better (define that however you want to) and most importantly
3.Can we easily afford these purchases.
If the answer is yes to the above questions that pretty much makes it an easier decision.

I have yet to find my OEC studs so if anyone comes across anything gorgeous that you think I would like feel free to let me know. Thank you!
 
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