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How do you fight gemstone FOMO?

margauxmines

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 4, 2021
Messages
27
All in the title—how do you fight gemstone FOMO*? :lol:
*Fear Of Missing Out

It's been a few months since I've started getting into gemstones and I don't know how to slow down!
It just feels like there's always something new I need to buy, something pretty I've never seen before and need to have, or I feel like if I don't buy something right now the price will increase exponentially in the future and I'll never be able to afford one.... that's ignoring the fact that I can't even afford things upwards of $500. :lol:
I logically know I'm spending too much money on gems and it's borderline irresponsible already but... it's so hard to stop?!

What do YOU do to calm yourself down and, well, slow your roll? :lol:


Photos of my "crimes" follow... :lol: Would love to see yours too!
131335708_879186242632847_8720266586514959240_n.jpg
Baby and cherry pink tourmalines - my first purchase, bit of a buyer's remorse situation here, don't really know what to do with it and I'm not really happy about them anymore. At least they're my birthstone I guess :confused:

200392634_149882577201824_8599618933772518231_n.jpg
Pink and peach/orange spinel

200442523_4064195293666496_3550261638634003265_n.jpg
Red spinel

201009210_4828919920456112_1464587025848106271_n.jpg
Peach-orange tourmaline, Portuguese cut

198439058_206403721225015_3040545737341851123_n.jpg
Violet sapphire

131335708_395779458426869_6755544237285946245_n.jpg
Rosy champagne (???) diamond, uncertified
 

icy_jade

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
4,512
What do YOU do to calm yourself down and, well, slow your roll? :lol:

Some possible thoughts:
1. Setting costs
2. How many other similar color/stones I already have
3. How many unset stones I have
4. Not trade ideal/not big enough/too big/not clean enough/don’t love enough
5. Why I don’t need another (insert item name e.g. ring)

That’s after buying lots of course, so I’m not in the best position to give any advice :lol:
 

idola

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 17, 2020
Messages
68
Sketch out what you want to do with something before you buy it! You can't want something that bad if you don't actually want to set it, right?
 

Lisa Loves Shiny

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 1, 2007
Messages
4,109
Very pretty collection. :)

I think you suffer from the "fear of missing out" thinking. That same type of thinking led me to purchase the numerous gemstones and jewelry items I have so there is no value judgement there. My newest strategy to avoid temptation is to ask myself "what else could I do with that money?" Would that money be better used elsewhere for you?

With that said, I do not regret any of my spinel purchases. I think that spinels and sapphires with good size, cut, color and clarity will continue to go up in price. Even those that are not trade ideal. But you might need to hold onto them for a few years to break even at the price you are paying now.

Edited to add- stay away from enablers. My hubby is the worst enabler. I stopped telling him when I want something because he tells me to get it.
 

fredflintstone

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 18, 2020
Messages
358
Ah, bit by the old gemstone bug. Most the time it just has to run its course.


I had many customers like you. They would buy, buy, buy, more moderate priced smaller stones. Nice stones but they would see my bigger better stones that would cost more money. They would tell me I wish I could afford that stone! I'd reply back, I sure appreciate your business, but if you would stop buying all these smaller lesser priced stones you could afford the bigger nice stone. They would say, yes, I know, but I don’t have the money right now. They just kept buying these smaller less expensive stones that in the long run could have bought them these large stones.

You have nice stones there, but I would give you the same advice. Save your money for that special big stone you wish you had the money to buy. Smaller nice stones will always be out there, but the large high end ones will not.
 
Last edited:

Mreader

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
2,068
When I buy a stone I immediately have a setting in mind. I see some people have tons of unset stones and I’m unable to do that bc I have no patience! Settings can cost more than the stone especially given gold prices. Perhaps try to think of how you want it set before buying? Though I’ve bought too much in the past couple of months too. You’re basically preaching to the choir here.
 

RockFox

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 13, 2020
Messages
185
You are not alone. I went a little bit overboard in the last year - sitting at home in lockdown, low lab diamonds prices and the quest for the ever illusive opalescent sapphire sent me over the edge. Now I come back to asking
myself, will this purchase get me to the dream piece I am after (setting prices considered) if not it is a self imposed hard pass. Personally also unfollowing a few Instagram accounts have helped. Less temptation. (Saying all this while having a custom piece cut - oh the irony. But this one might be worth it.)
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
2,474
I’m trying to restrain myself so I can afford higher quality stones, and ask myself if I’m truly willing to invest further with a setting. Settings are often far more expensive than stones, so that is an easy way to discourage. If I already have something similar I ask myself - do I need two? If I don’t, do I like one more than the other (ie would I sell my other similar stone?)

I don’t want a pile of unset stones at the end of the day, they aren’t useful and have little resale value especially if they aren’t trade ideal.
 

eapj

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 3, 2017
Messages
788
I agree with @RockFox about unfollowing IG sellers, etc. I went on a lockdown buying spree and regretted most of it (coupled with intense buying the couple of years before). Now I look less and as a result buy a lot less.

I found something I really want (not CS, though) that is more expensive than I usually buy. I have a few items listed for sale and will only buy the new piece when I’ve sold the equivalent. When I got into jewelry a few years ago, I wouldn’t have waited but I’ve learned patience and perspective. Jewelry is a luxury item and if what I want is sold before I have the funds, it’s truly not the end of the world.
 

westofhere

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 22, 2020
Messages
146
Some things that have helped me:

1. Make a list/plan of your ultimate jewelry wardrobe—which earrings, necklaces, rings, bracelets you ultimately want to own. Then remind yourself that each small purchase gets you farther from that. (I want a 4mm solid 18k bangle; with gold prices as they are, it’s going to take months of saving, and each small purchase gets me farther from that goal!)

2. With things you don’t love, sell them and put the money toward one big piece, give them away, have them set in inexpensive silver settings and donate to a charity auction or again give them away to young ladies in your family at holidays. Don’t hold on because it feels like a waste of money; the money’s already spent. Paring down will help you make the catalogue/list because you’ll be better able to see what you have and what you lack.

3. Set yourself an impulse budget each month. We’re only human and we all want that “fix” of clicking the purchase button, having the package arrive, etcetera. (Sometimes when I feel like shopping I hit the thrift stores for vintage glass, which I love, and spend $20-$30 instead of hundreds on jewelry).
 

CHRISTY-DANIELLE

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 10, 2017
Messages
1,951
I can not help you, only commiserate. Just when I think I have enough... something beautiful catches my eye. I will say I am sticking to gems/colors that appeal to me. Not necessarily the gem of the moment. Recently I bought (another) blue zircon but in cushion cut, a very neon barbie pink pink tourmaline EC, and maybe a tsav colored yag from Gene. I agree it helps to look for things you actually have a setting style in mind for. And I do ask myself will I actually wear this? Do I like the cut that much? Is the color just right? Sometimes it helps to walk away, give it some thought. If it sells while you were thinking so be it. Money saved.
 

LD

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 29, 2008
Messages
10,068
Trust me when you end up with a huge collection that (a) you couldn’t wear even if you wore something different every day of the year or (b) you run out of storage space (and I’m not kidding when I say that) you’ll soon slow down lol! Only buy what you LOVE not what’s fashionable. Some gems are the “it” thing but will never increase in value so it’s dead money. If you love a particular gem you’ll never regret it x
 

qubitasaurus

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 18, 2014
Messages
1,397
Trouble with this approach was that my tastes changed pretty repaid. Five years later all the stones (except maybe 3-4) that I'd wanted to buy, were things I'd now want to sell if I owned them.

Those 3-4 I really did miss out on, and sometimes I think about them. But looking back I wouldn't have bought them anyway -- I would have managed to buy other (probably cheaper) stones and then not have had the money to buy the ones that I missed. Also finances change a lot over time, the gems go up but (a) you become better off as well and (b) your financial obligations somehow simultanelously manage to shoot through the roof. What looks like a lot of money becomes far less significant next to your current daily expenses and income, I think your buying power actually increases faster than the gems go up in price. You end up wanting to upgrade everything anyway. And at todays market prices :lol-2:, so it's not like you saved anything.
 

bling_dream19

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
2,783
I can not help you, only commiserate. Just when I think I have enough... something beautiful catches my eye. I will say I am sticking to gems/colors that appeal to me. Not necessarily the gem of the moment. Recently I bought (another) blue zircon but in cushion cut, a very neon barbie pink pink tourmaline EC, and maybe a tsav colored yag from Gene. I agree it helps to look for things you actually have a setting style in mind for. And I do ask myself will I actually wear this? Do I like the cut that much? Is the color just right? Sometimes it helps to walk away, give it some thought. If it sells while you were thinking so be it. Money saved.

Can't wait to see your barbie pink tourmaline!!!
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
22,602
Husband intervention.

My temptations are usually pearls, not faceted gemstones, but I definitely suffer FOMO... Husband intervention provides an infallible guarantee of successful avoidance :lol:
 

chrono

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 22, 2004
Messages
37,939
You have nice stones there, but I would give you the same advice. Save your money for that special big stone you wish you had the money to buy. Smaller nice stones will always be out there, but the large high end ones will not.

Smaller stones are plentiful and I end up not setting them due to cost of setting, CS "shrinkage", developing a better eye and figuring out what I really love vs what I like. Like Fred, over time, I saved up for months (sometimes a year or more), for that special stone where I can go all out and make it bespoke for myself, something that strikes pitter patter and enjoyment throughout the years.
 

MissyBeaucoup

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 10, 2017
Messages
1,083
I tend to gravitate to the same color ranges, so I ask myself, “Would I want to wear this instead of X ring, which I love?” I tell myself that my favorite rings would be neglected.

Another thing I did was to add up how much I had spent over several years, always doing my best to get bargains. It was more than I thought.

I love buying stones…and I hate paying for settings. Gold is so high right now. It IS okay to buy pretty rocks to look at and never set. The Gem Trader has some unusual quartz specimens and gem species that aren’t necessarily for jewelry but are pretty to admire.

This gemstone bug is pretty powerful! It can really be like an addiction where the hunt is more fun than the having. Good luck!!
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
2,474
I’ve actually given this thread quite a bit of thought. I’ve felt so scattered about my priorities with jewelry, and these items are expensive. It’s easy to get sucked in…

But now I see that each impulse purchase has taken me further away from my holy grail pieces.

I just created a short list of 3-4 projects I’d like to finish in the next few years. Hopefully I stick with it. I’m realizing I’d rather have a few REALLY nice things as opposed to a lot of mediocre things.

I unfollowed a few dozen accounts on IG and muted the rest (except for a few just for jollies - because their inventory is way beyond my reach anyways LOL)
 

Lisa Loves Shiny

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 1, 2007
Messages
4,109
Oh man I wish I had that problem.

It's a curse. Today I made the mistake of showing my hubby a ring that has been on my Ebay watch list for months. He told me (twisted logic) to "buy it, give it to me, to give it to you for father's day because I like giving you things." Uh huh......

Don't get me wrong- having a sweet hubby is great. But so is saving money for a rainy day. :)
 

Garnetgirl

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 7, 2014
Messages
1,140
I’m not impulsive at all, so probably the wrong person to be telling you how to fight FOMO. I tend to agonize over most purchases, big or small.
That being said, perhaps you should spend some time on the Preloved forum @margauxmines. Go there and see how many people are selling gems and jewellery at a loss. Sometimes they haven’t even owned the item for very long.
Try to learn about good quality gems, so you don’t regret your purchases down the road.
As has been said many times by others, gems are not an investment. Buy what you like, but take your time.
 
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