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How did you meet your SO?

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jun 8, 2008
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33,882
I'm sure there is a thread about this already but I don't think there is a recent one and we have lots of new members and also I am sure many of us have forgotten the stories already shared so I would love to hear them again.

How did you meet your SO?
Was it love at first sight?
When did you know it was for real?
What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa.
What almost (if anything) broke you up?
What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now?
Etc.

Please feel free to write as much as you want to share. I bet lots of PSers would enjoy hearing about this. Thank you for sharing!
:appl:
 

Laila619

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Apr 28, 2008
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11,608
He wrote to me on Match.com. I was kind of tired of meeting guys from there because they never worked out and/or were duds. So I put off meeting him. So even though he first wrote to me in December 2006, I didn't agree to meet him until February 2007. His pics were not the greatest, so I wasn't sure exactly what he would look like. In person, oh my, was he a doll! 6'1" with the most gorgeous, friendly coffee colored eyes and a smile to melt your heart. It wasn't love at first sight, but there was a warm, happy vibe with some definite sparks. The funny thing was, after our first date, I remember thinking to myself, his wife will be a lucky woman. It in no way occurred to me it might be me, it was just like an off-handed observation.Three months later, I knew this was someone special I could marry. However, I am not a patient person, and after our one year anniversary happened and there was still no proposal (or even any future talk), I almost broke up with him. I assumed he was just stringing me along and that he was a commitment-phobe. He proposed at 16 months, luckily for him. :bigsmile: We got married five months after that. Now that we have four small kids, things have been stressful and we bicker and snap at each other at times. While the kids are our greatest joy and blessing, they do tend to put a strain on a marriage. However, we love each other so much and are committed to each other and I do believe we will make it for the long-haul. We have so much in common and he is the most devoted, hands-on father you could imagine. He is so very KIND and selfless above all else.
 

diamondringlover

Ideal_Rock
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Dec 12, 2006
Messages
3,794
How did you meet your SO? blind date, my cousin set us up
Was it love at first sight? no
When did you know it was for real? with in a couple of weeks (moved in with him after a month)
What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa. he was kind
What almost (if anything) broke you up? we split once after about 7 years of marriage..I dont remember why now
What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now? not sure...I just knew

We met on Feb 20, 1983, I moved in with him the end of March 1983, we were engaged December 1983 and married May 12, 1984.

Its been a very long, difficult road..but 2 boys later we are still together..what the future holds is still uncertain as we have been on rocky grounds for years.
 

NewEnglandLady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2007
Messages
6,299
How did you meet your SO?
In an AOL chat room in May of 1999

Was it love at first sight?
We'd already shared "I love you"s before we met in person (December 1999). I was already head over heels for him by the time we met in person.

When did you know it was for real?
The relationship was long distance for a year or two at first. I think I knew it was for real when he was leaving after his first visit and we were trying to figure out a way for him to come back as soon as possible.

What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa.
Too many to list. One of my favorite things is that he used to write me these cute poems late at night while he was studying. I still have some (wish I had them all). I was 18 or 19 at the time, so it sounds very teenage love-ish, but he wrote me a poem a couple of months ago and I still carry it around with me every day. And I'm 34.

What almost (if anything) broke you up?
I left him in November of 2006. We'd been dating nearly 7 years and he wasn't ready to get married, so I moved 1,500 miles away and did my best to get over him.

What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now?
Getting married? Haha. We've been married now for about 9 years and there have been a couple of rough patches, but our collective commitment to prioritize our marriage, meet each other's needs and put the other person first is what makes me think we can really make it forever. Plus he's cute and I love him a ton.
 

ame

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Jul 7, 2004
Messages
10,717
How did you meet your SO? Match.com. I had added another "year older" to my range, and he popped up. It was the end of the workday so I was like "I am going to message him when I get home." I got home and he already had.

Was it love at first sight? For me, yes. For him, he thought for sure I was going to run for the hills.

When did you know it was for real? 3 months in, we went on a weekend trip to Chicago. We both knew then.

What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa. Being thoughtful, being supportive, always sticking up for me. And instinctively cutting my meat after I got hand surgery early in our relationship (that's a family joke.)

What almost (if anything) broke you up? Besides the WF and any other ring drama, early in our marriage there were a few issues with his laziness (those are still ongoing) and his constant gaming that he would put before anything else really caused a strain. I had a friend that I was talking to about it and that person decided to get involved and who spoke out of turn, not only saying things that were not true and exaggerated but that were really over the top mean, that only made things worse.

What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now? This is a ridiculously long winded story but working together as a team to permanently revoke the license of a shady couples counselor. That is ironically how we fixed the aforementioned situation. That and telling the meddling friend to die in a fire.
 

monarch64

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Aug 12, 2005
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17,749
How did you meet your SO? I was bored one weekend and posted a really sarcastic, silly personal ad on Craigslist. He was selling a car, saw my ad, and responded in a really funny way. We spoke on the phone for hours all week and went on our first date that next weekend. We've been together since then. We chose our hypothetical daughter's middle name on our second date, which was a wedding and also took place on that weekend. (Our daughter came 3 years later.)

Was it love at first sight? Probably for him. :lol: It happened more gradually for me.

When did you know it was for real? Maybe 6-8 weeks in. He was already talking about diamonds. I was like, ok, this is happening. I was in no rush, but I think I was his unicorn and he had no intention of letting me go.

What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa. He's just a really good person. He showed a lot of initiative, ambition, was/is always proactive, was well-read, well-traveled, educated, involved in the community in positive and helpful ways, isn't afraid to try new things/learn skills, so many things. He checked boxes I didn't know I had plus all the ones I did have.

What almost (if anything) broke you up? Nothing once I made the decision to move forward with the relationship in the beginning stages. I was a little gun-shy after my first marriage ended so was a little insecure about getting seriously involved again.

What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now? Um...I guess when we signed the marriage license? And when we were standing on the beach and I realized I forgot to bring my vows and hadn't memorized them. It kind of really hit me then--no safety net--this is it! And for the record, my vows were along the same lines of the off-the-cuff personal ad I wrote that drew us to each other in the first place. Very "me." His are printed, matted, and framed. I think mine were written on the back of a random piece of mail. :lol:

We have a lot of fun together. The only time we aren't cutting up/joking/laughing is when one of us isn't feeling well. That's how we know we're really sick--if I say to him "will it help if I kick you in the shins? It'll take your mind off it" and he says "no" without laughing, we have a problem!
 

liaerfbv

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Sep 16, 2007
Messages
1,245
How did you meet your SO?
I met DH on my 18th birthday my first month of college - he lived across the hall from my best friend and we met in the hallway. Everyone in our dorm hung out together all the time and we just clicked.

Was it love at first sight?
Maybe not love at first sight, but I would say we were pretty serious from the beginning. I've never met anyone else who gets me like he does.

When did you know it was for real?
When my dad died unexpectedly and he was amazingly supportive and wonderful. It was the worst time in my life and I don't think I would have gotten through it without him.

What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa.
His love language is acts of service, and hopefully without sounding horribly old-fashioned, he really does take care of me. We both have extremely stressful and demanding careers, but he packs me lunch every morning and walks the dog so I can sleep in an extra 20 minutes. He prioritizes the things that I want in the budget because he wants me to be happy. I try to reciprocate but he's honestly a much better husband than I am wife. :lol:

What almost (if anything) broke you up?
We broke up for a bit our junior year of college. His parents haven't always been the most supportive of our relationship and that caused some problems when we were dating. Thankfully, we've moved past that and we all have a great relationship now.

What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now?
When I realized I'm a better person because of him. I consider myself so incredibly lucky we found each other when we were so young. We will hopefully have 60+ years together.
 

Haven

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Messages
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Aww, this thread is so sweet. It's bringing me back to my LIW days way back when. :))

How did you meet your SO?
We met on Jdate.com, it was a Jewish dating website. I'm not sure if it's still around, this was back in 2004 when people weren't yet freely admitting to meeting each other online. ;-)

Was it love at first sight?
No. I was 23 and he was 34, and I had just gotten out of a four+ year relationship. I was very smitten with him at first, but love took longer.

When did you know it was for real?
I don't really know. I remember asking myself after one month of dating if I wanted to spend another month dating him, then three months became a year, and it just sort of became a given that we would stay together. We had a slow burn, you might say. We were engaged after three years, married after four.

What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa.
I very much admired the way he carved out a life and a lifestyle for himself that suited his actual, concrete beliefs and desires about life and what he wanted. He was not concerned with what he *should* do or how he *should* live, but rather with living according to his own beliefs, and I greatly admired that. At that time in my life I was doing a lot of pontificating about such things, but not as much living in such a way.

What almost (if anything) broke you up?
Nothing. We've been together since 2004 and the being together part has always been very easy.

What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now?
I realized that together we were better versions of ourselves, and not in a we-do-everything-together-and-we-even-wear-matching-sweaters-you'reshmoopy-noyou'reshmoopy sort of way. :cheeky: I don't know, I'm finding this hard to articulate. Maybe an anecdote will be better: Whenever I'm on my own and facing a particularly difficult situation, I feel like I have this ace in my back pocket. I have this person who sees me for who I am and who respects me and affirms that I am a good and worthwhile person, and that somehow makes me impervious to the nasty things that we all inevitably have to face in life. And knowing that just makes everything else so much easier to handle.

And, well, he's smokin' hot. :)
 

GCGDanielle

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Feb 21, 2014
Messages
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How did you meet your SO?

We met at our first job (a now torn-down movie theater) when I was 16 and he was 17.

Was it love at first sight?

For me, absolutely. He had been working there a few months before I started. On my first day, the shift leader was giving me a tour and I saw a really cute guy carrying an ice bucket and I said "Who is that?!" :naughty: And she replied: "Oh, that's [insert his last name]. All the girls love him." And I certainly thought he was the cutest boy in the world. I flirted openly with him, wishing he would ask me on a date. At that age, I was much too shy to ask him myself. Finally, a mutual friend locked us in the employee break room and said he wouldn't let us out until we exchanged phone numbers. We went to a movie on February 6, 2000 (Scream 3, lol), and we have been together ever since.

When did you know it was for real?

Our relationship has always been easy. Full of love, happiness, and humor. I like to joke with people that I "trained him young" when they ask how we've had such a strong, long relationship. As we dated, I never thought about getting engaged, married, etc. I was just so happy and in love that I just wanted to be together and didn't spend time analyzing. I think I just kind of knew "this was it," so I didn't think too much about the future.

What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa.

He did/does this in so many ways. He is very calm and easygoing. I am stressed out and anxious, so he helps me to find a better balance. He is so thoughtful, loving, and generous with his compliments and affection. He makes me feel desirable, smart, and funny. We laugh like a bunch of school kids every chance we get. He is also very even-tempered - he doesn't yell or slam doors or say mean things. He has beautiful blue/green eyes and dark hair, and I fit perfectly into his arms. :love:

What almost (if anything) broke you up?

Nothing!

What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now?

Our wedding day. As I walked down the aisle, tears immediately appeared in his eyes (so, of course, I welled up, too). I will never forget the way he looked at me, pure love was written all over his face. I enjoy looking at our wedding album, you can just see the emotions in our eyes as we looked at each other and exchanged vows. Also, the birth and raising of our sons. He is a wonderful father; so caring and hands-on.

I'm looking forward to becoming the little old couple walking hand-in-hand down the sidewalk in 50 years. :D
 

liaerfbv

Brilliant_Rock
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Haven|1459524599|4014174 said:
What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now?
I realized that together we were better versions of ourselves, and not in a we-do-everything-together-and-we-even-wear-matching-sweaters-you'reshmoopy-noyou'reshmoopy sort of way. :cheeky: I don't know, I'm finding this hard to articulate.
No, I had the same problem articulating it! We've been together for almost 14 years, and I still can't figure out how to explain that he just makes me a better person without it sounding like a rom-com.
 

Queenie60

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missy|1459513350|4014111 said:
I'm sure there is a thread about this already but I don't think there is a recent one and we have lots of new members and also I am sure many of us have forgotten the stories already shared so I would love to hear them again.

How did you meet your SO?
Was it love at first sight?
When did you know it was for real?
What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa.
What almost (if anything) broke you up?
What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now?
Etc.

Please feel free to write as much as you want to share. I bet lots of PSers would enjoy hearing about this. Thank you for sharing!
:appl:
1. I met my husband at my work place. I worked in the administrative offices of a large bank and he came in to meet with my boss. I immediately caught his eye and he told me that he went back to his office and put my name on his calendar (he's very organized!) He then called me a few days later and asked me out to lunch.

2. It was not love at first sight. We enjoyed each others company, we were friends for the first few months and then our relationship bloomed from there. He was smitten with me more than I with him.

3. Our relationship took time to blossom. After about 1 year of dating, I think the both of us knew it was for real. However I wasn't sure where it was going and remember thinking that one day we would break up and I would run into him and his bride, little did I know that I would be that bride!

4. I knew that Bob was a keeper after a year or so of dating. He was easy to be with, very interesting with a lot of hobbies and always knew how to hold a good conversation with just about anyone. He knew I was a keeper because I have a knack for cooking and he loves to eat.

5. After about 2 years of dating his mother convinced him that if he wasn't going to marry me then he should call it quits. He is very close to his mother and takes what she says to heart. I feel that this was a scare for him as either of us was ready for marriage as we were both quite young. We just needed more time to date. I was devastated that he "dumped" me after I put my heart on the line. After about 10 days we were back together as neither of us could stand being apart.

6. We new it was forever after about 3 years of dating - we were both ready to marry and knew that we wanted to be together forever. We have had many bumpy times during our 27 year marriage. We had infertility issues and went through a lot of medical procedures and finally were able to have a family with two children. Then after about 12 years of marriage I had a cancer diagnosis. Invasive breast cancer with a 3 year old and a 7 year old. This brought us much closer together. Then about 5 years later our son was diagnosed with bi polar disorder and other mood disorders. This has been a very stressful time for us however it has brought us closer together. As the years pass we become closer. We are a match made in heaven, soul mates!
 

Puppmom

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How did you meet your SO?

He was in a band with my best friend's boyfriend. We met at her house when I was 22. I remember thinking he was a catch and any girl would be lucky to have him. I just didn't have my head in the dating game. I had a 4 year old daughter who was my primary focus. Six months later a large group of us went to the beach for the weekend. We stayed up late and talked and I wrote my phone number on a piece of cardboard from a pizza box. Everyone else slept in and we woke early to see the sun rise.

Was it love at first sight?

No, but I knew he was special. I don't think it was for him either. But, it did happen quickly.

When did you know it was for real?

Pretty early on. I didn't go out much because I had a young child and lived on my own so we spent lots of late nights together after my daughter went to bed (now I can't even stay up after 10!). At the time our friends were not happy about our relationship (long story!) and we got a lot of pressure to break up (don't worry. we were young and stupid everyone backed off and has long since made up and all of those people are still our best friends.) Their displeasure drew us even closer. :naughty: When we started spending time together with my daughter things really seemed to fall into place naturally.

What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa.

I think we each did what we could to put the other first and it went a long way. We could probably use a few lessons in that now. He also instantly connected with my daughter. They're still best buds and she's 21.

What almost (if anything) broke you up?

Nothing but he was a touring musician for a few years into our relationship and that was really hard on us. Never any talk of breaking up though.

What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now?

I don't know, I can't really say in hindsight. There wasn't a moment really. He just always felt like family (not in a creepy incest sort of way)...in a home sort of way. I just feel like "us" is a necessary part of "me". He just left for a 4 day trip with friends and I may have shed a few tears. Maybe that's because I have no help with the kids for the next 4 days though? Kidding! :lol:
 

wildcat03

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Apr 11, 2011
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503
We met online - okcupid. He messaged me and I wrote back. We went for dinner the next night and had a nice date. I thought he seemed really genuine and down-to-earth. We made plans for the upcoming Sunday. Saturday night I got food poisoning and so had to tell him that there was no way I could do dinner on Sunday. He offered to make me chicken soup. I said no initially but then perked up and felt better. He made me homemade from-scratch chicken soup and we hung out. I knew at that point that he was a keeper. Sparks flew. By the end of the evening, we had decided that we would eventually get married. A year later, we got engaged. We're getting married in October.

I knew it was for real when I first waved the "crazy flag" about 3 weeks in and he didn't blink. Actually, I realized it was for real on our second date, but didn't know for sure how "all in" he was until then. When we met he was most of the way into the year separation mandated by this state to file for divorce. The divorce filing and everything got terribly delayed and was hugely stressful for us even though it was uncontested and fairly amicable. There were times when I was ready to end it over that, and almost did at least once.

I don't want to predict eternal happiness or even that we'll last forever, but only because no one can predict those things. Life happens and is stressful and can tear even the most perfect couples down. We are not perfect. Both our lives are REALLY good right now and I know that life will throw us some huge curveballs in the years to come. I don't doubt his ability to support me through the trials that will come. It's sometimes my own staying power that I doubt - but in a general sense rather than in any way related to him.
 

missy

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Haven|1459524599|4014174 said:
What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now?
I realized that together we were better versions of ourselves, and not in a we-do-everything-together-and-we-even-wear-matching-sweaters-you'reshmoopy-noyou'reshmoopy sort of way. :cheeky: I don't know, I'm finding this hard to articulate. Maybe an anecdote will be better: Whenever I'm on my own and facing a particularly difficult situation, I feel like I have this ace in my back pocket. I have this person who sees me for who I am and who respects me and affirms that I am a good and worthwhile person, and that somehow makes me impervious to the nasty things that we all inevitably have to face in life. And knowing that just makes everything else so much easier to handle.



Yes I love this Haven and it explains exactly how I feel about my dh too. LOL except sometimes we enjoy silly talk to each other (LOL ala Seinfeld) haha but really love how he makes me want to be the best person I can be and he says vice versa for him. I also love what you wrote about just knowing your dh is there for you makes everything easier to handle. Exactly!


I am so loving reading what everyone is sharing about their SOs! This is such a feel good thread. :appl:
 

Jimmianne

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I LOVE this thread!

How we met: I went to Ft.Lauderdale with my sister for Spring Break and we went to a good restaurant for dinner.
During dinner there was a handsome man a few tables away who kept looking over at me and making funny faces.
He left, but his friends were still at the table, so I went over and asked why he had been doing that.
They said he was looking for a girlfriend haha. I learned that he was from a well-known local family and also that he was having a party the next night. The people at the table invited us to the party.
My sister and I went and the rest is history. He has been gone a while now. I still smile thinking about how silly he could be.
 

kenny

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We met in a gay leather bar.
Of course I was only there for my research for my P.h.D, and an article for Reader's Digest :lol:

I met my former 13-year partner in a personal ad in 1982.

Gays being a tiny % of the population makes it rough to just happen to run across another space alien in normal life.
 

GK2

Rough_Rock
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Messages
68
How did you meet your SO?

We were in the same year at secondary (high) school and in a few of the same classes. I used to copy my chemistry practicals off him - I picked the right person as he is now a scientist! We were never together at school and a couple of years after we left I was celebrating my birthday in a local pub and he was there with some friends. He offered to buy me a drink but the bar was closed :doh: fast forward three months to Christmas Eve and we were in the same pub but the bar was still open. He saw me and bought me the drink he'd promised me and said "there was a hell of a queue!" Been together since and celebrating 20 years of marriage in June

Was it love at first sight?

Yes for both of us but he later confessed to having a thing about me at school

When did you know it was for real?

It was so easy - it was never awkward or uncomfortable and we both knew pretty early on this was serious. We complemented each other and fell in love very quickly but didn't get married for 5 years

What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa.

He completes me and is the confidence I am missing. He always believed in me and tells me I can achieve whatever I want.

What almost (if anything) broke you up?

We went through a very rough patch that lasted about three years around 5 years ago. It wasn't awful the whole time but we've often wondered if others would have stuck at it like we did. Not because we think we're special or better at it - I just don't think either of us really wanted it to end. We found a way through it and it has made us realise we can get through anything.

What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now

I can't imagine life without him - I travel a lot for work and although I enjoy it, I enjoy coming home to him more

Great thread!
 

jaysonsmom

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How did you meet your SO?
I interviewed him for his first job after college. I worked there a year before he started.
Was it love at first sight?
For him it was, I was dating someone else at the time. We were platonic coworkers for 2 years, and he waited until I became available to ask me out.
When did you know it was for real?
A Month after we started dating we were talking white picket fences, kids and future dreams. We were always on the same page and same timing.
What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa.
He was a mama's boy, needed a woman who could take care of him, and I met all those needs. I knew he was the one when I confessed to having a "shoe problem" (that I had too many) and he said, "how is that a problem when all girls have that problem!?"
What almost (if anything) broke you up?
The ONLY contention, is that he has vices that I'm not proud of (pot) and I'm squeaky clean goody two shoes.
What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now?
We have 2 amazing kids that really embody what we love about each other, and we make a great team as parents.
 

kmarla

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684
How did you meet your SO?

At the time we were both young lieutenants in the Air Force and we met when he was transferred to the base where I was working.

Was it love at first sight?

Maybe not exactly love, but I noticed him one day and said "who is that?!!" I was definitely interested in him and asked friends a lot of questions about him. I was quite shy though so I didn't meet him right away. We finally had a chance to talk one day and that was it! We shared a lot of things in common and I think we were well matched in most areas.

When did you know it was for real?

Very soon after we met. We quickly realized that we both shared a lot of interests like family, travel, reading, camping, adventures etc and things just felt right. I had been in a relationship that ended badly before, so really took my time before I was ready to meet someone new. I think being in the military forced our timeline a bit, but we dated for seven months before DH got transferred out west and I knew then that it was for real and I had to be with him. We got engaged then and married five months later. After we married I was able to get a transfer and join him.

What ways did your SO show he was a keeper and vice/versa?

He was always a very thoughtful and a very responsible person. He's quieter than me but very observant. We're eachother's best friend and I think we've both really been there for each other over the years and we've both made a lot of compromises for each other. We fight but then we make up. We've had to face some difficult challenges, family losses, multiple miscarriages, health scares etc and we got through things stronger together. He's a great, really hands on Dad and helps out a lot around the house. I think we're in simpatico most of the time, but we're also both quite independent and have different hobbies and interests.

What almost (if anything) broke you up?

We never came close to breaking up about it, but we have had some pretty big arguments while doing renovations together. It seems to bring out the worst in us for some reason. I guess we both want to be the boss. I'm a perfectionist and he's more the "can we just get it done, you can fix any imperfections after." No, I'm not a magician! We've learned how to work together better over the years and now usually just try to stay out of each other's way doing renovations when we can. For example he'll lay the subfloor and then I'll lay the tiles. So we're still doing renovations but not in the same room at the same time :)

One of our children has special needs and that has definitely caused a lot of stress. I'm sure we've both fantasized about getting away at times, but we've worked pretty well as a team and really support each other when it gets rough.

What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now?

Well, we've been together for thirty three years. Naturally there have been some rough spots over those years and some amazing times. I guess I think we're better together and we've always worked to resolve problems together, so we're both invested in the marriage. It was that way at the start and still seems that way today.
 

packrat

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How did you meet your SO? He met my brother at a party when he was 18 and my brother was 17 and they became friends. My brother and I hung out with a lot of the same people, and JD just fit naturally into our group.

Was it love at first sight? Not for me. I had a boyfriend at the time. It was for him I later found out but he thought I was out of his league. At the time, I kinda was hahahahaha.

When did you know it was for real? We spent about 7 years as best friends. he asked me out one night at a party and then later said he was drunk and didn't remember it--which is when all my guy friends blew his cover and told me he had been secretly in love with me for years. I told him to grow a pair and take me on an effing date. We dated for a little while but in some ways I think he just couldn't handle that we finally were together so I broke up with him. Oddly enough the only thing that changed is we quit sleeping together and we dated other people. We still were close as could be friendship wise. I had broken up with a guy and had been single for a while just sick of guys, and I asked him if he would like to try being friends with benefits. We still dated other people but only slept with each other. Eventually we realized that we weren't so much dating other people as spending all our time together and it wasn't about bedtime anymore. We started friends with benefits December 31, 1999, got engaged February 14, 2001 and married November 10, 2001.

It's not been all sunshine and roses; I'd like to throat punch him at times. But we have a lot in common, most of all we have a deep friendship that has been longer than half our lifetimes. Luckily our shared sense of (warped) humor pulls us thru anything. You'll not find any saccharine baby talk posts on Facebook during any anniversaries..I'll post what day it is and then a smart ass ecard or a Tim Minchin song. The closest to sugary I come is explaining one of the things that made me think we were more than friends with benefits, long before we got married, is when he agreed to watch Princess Bride with me, and he laughed his ass off. I asked him if he would take on the ROUS's for me and he said "I would be your Westley." When I was redoing my wedding set it was his suggestion to engrave something from Princess Bride on it. That's how I ended up with "as you wish" on the inside of my three stone and "mawage is wot bwings us togevah today" on the outside of my wedding band. He was almost as thrilled as I was when I got them.
 

Resonance.Of.Life

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
1,282
How did you meet your SO?
- I went to see a movie with a close nursing school friend of mine and she invited me to go have dinner with her boyfriend and his group of friends. He immediately caught my eye (I think he's hot!). He didn't even speak a word to me all night except to say, "Good night." He was shy and was very polite.. things that attracted me to him besides the fact he wasn't blatantly hitting on me for my looks (unlike the rest of the group). We eventually started dating, in fact, I asked him out. My nursing school friend was dating my now husband's best friend and that's the reason why we even met! Funny thing is we all ended up getting married to our respective boyfriends and we're still very close to them to this day.

Was it love at first sight?
- Probably lust at first sight ;-)

When did you know it was for real?
- I kept thinking about him even when I was away and having fun with my friends. I always had to talk to him before going to sleep at night.

What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa.
- He always said my happiness was tantamount to his... and supported me in all my endeavors even if it meant being away from him to achieve my career goals. He's always supported my desire to foster and rescue homeless dogs and encourages our involvement in dog rescue.

What almost (if anything) broke you up?
- n/a

What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now?
- The way he made me feel, the way he genuinely cares for me and for my dogs and for supporting my dreams and hopes.


Thank you for this thread, it gives me the butterflies just thinking about our story.
 

Laila619

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
11,608
Jimmianne|1459543328|4014293 said:
I LOVE this thread!

How we met: I went to Ft.Lauderdale with my sister for Spring Break and we went to a good restaurant for dinner.
During dinner there was a handsome man a few tables away who kept looking over at me and making funny faces.
He left, but his friends were still at the table, so I went over and asked why he had been doing that.
They said he was looking for a girlfriend haha. I learned that he was from a well-known local family and also that he was having a party the next night. The people at the table invited us to the party.
My sister and I went and the rest is history. He has been gone a while now. I still smile thinking about how silly he could be.
Aww, hugs Jimmianne, makin' me tear up over here :cry:
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
33,882
Laila619|1459593390|4014497 said:
Jimmianne|1459543328|4014293 said:
I LOVE this thread!

How we met: I went to Ft.Lauderdale with my sister for Spring Break and we went to a good restaurant for dinner.
During dinner there was a handsome man a few tables away who kept looking over at me and making funny faces.
He left, but his friends were still at the table, so I went over and asked why he had been doing that.
They said he was looking for a girlfriend haha. I learned that he was from a well-known local family and also that he was having a party the next night. The people at the table invited us to the party.
My sister and I went and the rest is history. He has been gone a while now. I still smile thinking about how silly he could be.
Aww, hugs Jimmianne, makin' me tear up over here :cry:
I second this sentiment girlfriend. (((Hugs))). Love being silly with the ones we love. Glad the memory made you smile.
 

december-fire

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 3, 2013
Messages
2,346
Jimmianne|1459543328|4014293 said:
I LOVE this thread!

How we met: I went to Ft.Lauderdale with my sister for Spring Break and we went to a good restaurant for dinner.
During dinner there was a handsome man a few tables away who kept looking over at me and making funny faces.
He left, but his friends were still at the table, so I went over and asked why he had been doing that.
They said he was looking for a girlfriend haha. I learned that he was from a well-known local family and also that he was having a party the next night. The people at the table invited us to the party.
My sister and I went and the rest is history. He has been gone a while now. I still smile thinking about how silly he could be.
Oh my goodness, Jimmianne, those last two sentences hit me hard.

I'm so sorry for your loss. But I'd glad you were blessed with having a wonderful man in your life; a man who may no longer be with you physically but, obviously, still lives in your heart and puts a smile on your face.

I'm incredibly fortunate to have an amazing man in my life, and the thought that he is mortal is something I don't even want to consider. I know that sounds silly.

Thank you for telling us about him.

Hugs
 

marcy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 27, 2007
Messages
23,757
missy|1459595063|4014505 said:
Laila619|1459593390|4014497 said:
Jimmianne|1459543328|4014293 said:
I LOVE this thread!

How we met: I went to Ft.Lauderdale with my sister for Spring Break and we went to a good restaurant for dinner.
During dinner there was a handsome man a few tables away who kept looking over at me and making funny faces.
He left, but his friends were still at the table, so I went over and asked why he had been doing that.
They said he was looking for a girlfriend haha. I learned that he was from a well-known local family and also that he was having a party the next night. The people at the table invited us to the party.
My sister and I went and the rest is history. He has been gone a while now. I still smile thinking about how silly he could be.
Aww, hugs Jimmianne, makin' me tear up over here :cry:
I second this sentiment girlfriend. (((Hugs))). Love being silly with the ones we love. Glad the memory made you smile.
I could say the exact same thing. I am glad you have some good and silly memories that make you smile. :wavey: Hugs to you my PS friend.
 

marcy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 27, 2007
Messages
23,757
I love reading your stories.

How did you meet your SO? He started working where I did and we worked together a few hours a day.

Was it love at first sight? No. I thought he was very nice, considerate and funny the first week. The more time we spent together the more I realized he'd had some difficult times in his life and some people had treated him pretty badly. I think that is when I started really liking him was thinking how could anyone be so mean to someone this nice and funny?

When did you know it was for real? We started spending time together as friends then started dating. He left for 2 weeks for annual training for the guard. We both could hardly stand being apart those 2 weeks. We were definitely in love when he got back to town.

What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa. One of my favorite "surprises" was we were driving back to my house and he pulls over to the side of the road so I pulled up behind him and he doesn't get out of his car. Just sets there. So I finally get out of my car and go ask if something is wrong and he said "I just can't go another mile without a kiss.". Of course now that we are married he doesn't do such cute sentimental things. :lol:

What almost (if anything) broke you up? We have never really been in any big fights but I remember when we were engaged and he was teaching me how to use a computer. I wanted to now what "button" do I push to make it work. He wanted me to learn what I was doing and why - my mom told me later she figured if we could get through that we'd be fine.

What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now? That soft warm fuzzy spot I have in my heart when I am with him and when he's away.

Marcy
 

NOYFB

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 16, 2008
Messages
2,649
How did you meet your SO? We were both going to school for audio engineering and were in the same lab group, so we became friends because we shared a lot of 4 hour labs together, sometimes at 1 or 5am (the school ran 24/7).

Was it love at first sight? No. Honestly, when we met he had brightly colored hair (during the 9 months we were friends his hair was purple, blue, vampire red and bright yellow - not all at the same time, however), and was a punk rock guitar player. I had always been attracted to long haired rock and roll guys, so I remember saying to a friend "What kind of girl goes out with a guy like that?" because I thought he was so weird for coloring his hair that way. This is ironic because my hair has been purple for almost a year now! LOL

When did you know it was for real? When it was time to graduate and he was talking about moving back home (to Chicago) and I realized that I needed to go with him because I couldn't bear life without him.

What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa. When, after living in Chicago for a year he agreed to move to CA with me to follow a dream (which didn't work out), and when I had cosmetic surgery and was at the clinic for a week not being able to shower or wash my hair, he happily stayed with me, helped me eat, etc, and never complained once. That was when I knew I'd marry him. He's also the most genuinely nicest guy in the world. And everyone who meets him will tell you the same thing.

What almost (if anything) broke you up? We almost got divorced after 5 years of marriage (long story). We got through it, though, and our bond has been stronger than ever since then.

What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now? When we were able to get through the above.
 

marcy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 27, 2007
Messages
23,757
missy|1459513350|4014111 said:
I'm sure there is a thread about this already but I don't think there is a recent one and we have lots of new members and also I am sure many of us have forgotten the stories already shared so I would love to hear them again.

How did you meet your SO?
Was it love at first sight?
When did you know it was for real?
What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa.
What almost (if anything) broke you up?
What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now?
Etc.

Please feel free to write as much as you want to share. I bet lots of PSers would enjoy hearing about this. Thank you for sharing!
:appl:
Missy, what is your story? :wavey:
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
33,882
Thank you all for continuing to share your stories. I am so enjoying them and hope more of you will share with us.

marcy|1459829128|4015554 said:
Missy, what is your story? :wavey:
Haha Marcy, I hope you won't regret asking. It's sort of long.

How did you meet your SO?

He was my patient. I know I know bad girl. LOL. I swear I had never gone out with a patient of mine before though asked many times. I usually saw it coming when a young man was going to ask me out and was always prepared. Not so with Greg for some very weird reason and to this day I just have to attribute this to fate. That I did not turn him down when he asked me out.
He was and still is my b'shert and it was meant to be. When he asked me out I was completely surprised and off guard so much so I didn't even remember I was dating someone at the time (LOL what can I say I was young) so all I could think of to say to him was I'll see. Call me at the office next week. I figured he would forget about it and I would be off the hook. HA. No such luck. He called the next week and asked me out Friday after work for a dusk stroll around Central Park. The rest is history.

The thing is I never even imagined going out with Greg. He had been my patient for a few years and we moved from the upper west side to the east side and he (like many of my patients) followed me to my new office location. So I never gave it a thought. But at that first visit at the new office that is when he asked me out and surprised me. He had been my patient for a few years and so I was not prepared or expecting it at all. I know whenever the staff announced to me that Mr. B was in my exam room I had nervous butterflies but I was too dense to get what that meant at the time LOL. Yeah seriously amazing I ever met him and got married because the universe had to work really hard to get me to that point where I realized I was completely in love and he was my b'shert. And we had lots of obstacles in the way.

Was it love at first sight?

For me it was nervous butterflies at first sight. In hindsight I get what that meant but at the time I didn't realize why I was nervous whenever he was there for an exam. And then it turned into crazy like and over the moon with him after a date which turned into love but I cannot say when that was as sometimes I don't know my own mind and I think in hindsight it was love at first sight but I just went reading my own signals. He said it was definitely lust at first sight but now looking back he thinks it was love at first sight for him. He couldn't ask me out when he started seeing me as his eye care provider since he was already involved at the time and it was only after that relationship had broken up that he asked me out.


When did you know it was for real?

When I started becoming upset at the time he spent away from me and when those Sunday nights rolled around and he got ready to leave to go back to his apartment for the week. When I started feeling sad and missing him even though we spoke for hours every night on the phone. When his absence left a sadness and loneliness in my heart. This was major for someone like me who usually couldn't wait for her boyfriend to leave after the weekend so I could get my much valued privacy back. Honestly Sunday nights were me time and when they stopped feeling like that and instead made me melancholy because Greg was going back to the upper East side that's when I knew I was in real trouble.


What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa.

When he started putting me first. Ahead of his dear friends and family. When my needs were most important to him. And of course when he loved my kitties despite his terrible (and I do mean terrible) allergies and when he put up with my family's menagerie of cats and dogs when we visited them (which was often) lol. He started getting allergy shots weekly a few years in and continuing his heavy duty meds just to be able to not just tolerate but love my cats. And when he proposed I will never forget what he said. He said a lot of stuff (he's very romantic) and I won't share it all but he said he will live with the cats (I only had 3 at the time and now we have 4 maybe going on 5 soon!) but he won't live in Brooklyn. He wanted us to live in Manhattan. HA I said sure as I really didn't care that much if we were in Brooklyn or Manhattan but we found our dream home in Brooklyn that very next weekend (again meant to be and I won't bore you with the long story now but really it was meant to be) and offered full price to make sure to get it (it wasn't even on the market yet) and the rest is history.

My dh said he realized this from the very beginning. That I was a keeper. He knew it immediately. He knew I was a gentle old soul and wise beyond my years (his words not mine!) and that I was different from all the other girls he had dated before. He felt like he was home when he finally found me. And I felt and still feel the same way 100%. That old cliche about wherever you are you are home with your sweetheart that's the truth with us.


What almost (if anything) broke you up?

This is a biggie. After the first 4 weeks of dating he let me in on a lie/secret he had been keeping from me. Now it was a lie of omission but in my book that is as much a lie as any lie. It did almost break us up. Luckily for both of us I was so invested emotionally at that time I didn't say goodbye. But I almost did. He told me the secret and then he had a plane to catch to visit his family for a long weekend so honestly it was not the best time to tell me either but I know he was so apprehensive about the whole thing it was the only way he was able to do it. While he was visiting his family he wrote me a 5 page letter explaining himself and why he hadn't told me. I wouldn't take his calls for most of his trip because I was so hurt by what he had been keeping from me (even after only a month of dating because I already felt very close with him) but after processing it all and understanding why he had kept it from me I decided to give him another chance. But only if he NEVER told me another lie (and that includes lies of omission) again.

I will add that at that point we had not been intimate with each other as we had only been dating a month and both of us were very old fashioned that way. In fact when we first started dating Greg said to me let's take it slow and I was good with that. Of course I feel that the secret he was keeping from me had something to do with that also.

The reason he had kept what he did from me a secret was because he knew I would never have accepted that first date if he had been honest with me from the beginning. Again, in hindsight, he did the right thing regarding me because I think he was right. I probably wouldn't have gone out with him. I was young and idealistic and naive. Looking back, though that was an incredibly stressful time in both our lives perhaps he did the best thing he could have because of how I was in those days. IDK but he has never lied to me again and I have truly forgiven him and so grateful I didn't break up with him because he is the love of my life.


What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now?

Everything he does, every action, every word, everything. I know he loves me unconditionally as I love him and I know we are forever. He has stood by me and supported me through things that many wouldn't be able to handle. We have been through many challenging times yet I never for a moment (besides the time I described above) been unsure of his unwavering love and support. Anyone can be there and enjoy the good times but when your partner is your soft pillow to fall during the hard times and when he stands by you no matter what then you know. We are a team and I always feel his love and strength and adoration as I know he always feels from me as well. We both want to put the other first and that is a sure forever sign that we love each other enough to want to out each others needs ahead of our own.


Sharing a pic of our first New Year's Eve together. Would love it if anyone else would be willing to share pics of their early years together.
newyearseve2000-2.jpg
 

rubybeth

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2007
Messages
2,565
Enjoyed reading these on my morning coffee break, so I'll share.

How did you meet your SO?
We met in high school, had one class together. I was new to the school and became friends with his friends. I was a senior that year, and he was a junior, and we went on one "date" to the movies right after I graduated, but then lost touch. He would occasionally e-mail me out of the blue to see how I was, but it wasn't until 2003 that he got back in touch and it stayed that way. He finally asked me on a date/to be his girlfriend in 2005. :tongue: We got married in 2008.
Was it love at first sight? Not really, we were both so young, but we were definitely attracted to each other. He's very much 'my type,' tall, dark, and handsome, with glasses.
When did you know it was for real? About a month after we started dating, there were no major issues, we agreed on all the big stuff.
What ways did your SO show he/she was a keeper? And vice versa. He's the smartest person I know without being at all pretentious or obnoxious about it, and I have a deep respect for him. I like to think I'm pretty smart, so it was important to me not to feel either talked down to, or that I was smarter than my boyfriend. I am not sure I know why he decided I'm a keeper, maybe I'll ask him. :bigsmile:
What almost (if anything) broke you up? I told him pretty early on in our dating that I wasn't very interested in having children. I said I might change my mind, but I wasn't sure I ever would. At various points, I think that could have been an issue, and we've definitely talked about having a child (or not) over the years together, but at this point, we're still both on the "no" side of the fence.
What made you realize this was forever or at least forever right now? Aside from having a very good relationship with no major disagreements, and generally enjoying each other a lot, I'd say I knew we would probably stay together after we took a big vacation together in 2007, to San Francisco. We traveled well together, and one of my goals in life was to travel. We had very similar interests in what to do/see while we were there.
 
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