How did you decide what city/town to call home?

[ChargerGrrl]

Great question, Kimberly!

How cool to read everyone's experiences. Mine is rather *boring*.

I was born and raised in Los Angeles (San Fernando Valley). My parents still live in the house I grew up in. They're been there for 37 years! It's now on the market, as dad's pushing 90 and they don't need such a big house.

Anyway, I went to the same elementary/middle/high school (parochial)- 12 years! I itched to go away after HS and went to college in San Diego. I was hoping to stay there once I was done with school, but ended up moving back home as all the entertainment/media jobs are in L.A. Growing up, I pretty much only hung out in the Valley. So I had a blast re-discovering my "hometown" upon my return. I became a westside girl- I lived in the West L.A area, and eventually bought a townhouse in the South Bay.

DH is a different story. He grew up on the East coast and moved a lot- around CT & PA. He spent his HS years in a small town in PA, and hated it- always knew he'd never stay after graduation. He went to college near Philly, and grad school in Virginia. He was recruited by a pharma/biotech company a few months before completing his Ph.D and that brought him out to Southern California. He's been here for almost 4 years, loves it, and has no intention of moving back to the East Coast (which is fine with me!) We met a year after he'd lived here, and on the same day he closed escrow on the townhouse we now live in. Ironically, it's in the San Fernando Valley so I've come full circle!

L.A is home. I just cannot imagine living anywhere else! I travel a lot for business and have spent lots of time in many cities. Sure, there's a couple we can see ourselves living in (Seattle & Denver). DH's career is going very well, and we'll move if he has an extraordinary offer, and there's opportunity for my career, but we're not itching to go anywhere soon. I'm close to my parents, and it's nice having them 20 minutes away. I also like being able to help them out as much as possible considering they're really getting on in age. His mom is bummed that we have no intention of moving east, but she'll just have to get used to it!

 

[Rod]

Interesting question Kimberly. For me, home is where we are. It''s where our things are, where Charlie and the kitties are. Right now, it''s difficult to call anyplace home. Our stuff as you know is in our condo in Tampa. Charlie, the kitties, our jobs and our clothes are in Raleigh., NC. If we can ever get the condo in Tampa sold or rented, and we can move into something permanent in Raleigh, I think I''ll feel this is home. While my heart may always be in Florida, my home may not.

Thanks for letting me chime in,
Rod

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 2/22/2007 5:11:18 PM
Author: Rod
Interesting question Kimberly. For me, home is where we are. It''s where our things are, where Charlie and the kitties are. Right now, it''s difficult to call anyplace home. Our stuff as you know is in our condo in Tampa. Charlie, the kitties, our jobs and our clothes are in Raleigh., NC. If we can ever get the condo in Tampa sold or rented, and we can move into something permanent in Raleigh, I think I''ll feel this is home. While my heart may always be in Florida, my home may not.

Thanks for letting me chime in,
Rod

Thanks for chiming in, Rod; I always love to hear from you! Home is where John is for me. But it''s also where my parents are. So I can relate to what you are saying. The house we live in doesn''t quite feel like home to me, but that could be because we haven''t done a stitch of decorating/planting etc. since we moved in in August. And now with the possiblity of moving looming in front of me I don''t want to put the time and effort into it to have to pick up and start all over again somewhere else. I think that''s why this decision is going to be so hard for me/us. Lots to think about!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 2/22/2007 12:55:39 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Thanks for sharing your stories, everyone! I really appreciate it. DF, you''ve given me food for thought re: the weather. I think I''d react the same way you have. MC, we''d be trading acreage for non, and have no kids at this point. I am not someone who needs a lot of space, but DH is and I think he wants to move more than I do even though we''d be losing land and sq. footage (we live in a rather large home) and property. In the end the adjustments will be harder for him, if we move, because I''m the more flexbile of the two of us. I would just really be missing my family. I don''t know if it''s better or worse that this isn''t something we have to decide right now.

Do you think that if you decide to have kids, your parents will be very interactive? Definetly consider this before moving FAR away. Having active extended family is a HUGE luxury once you have children.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 2/22/2007 5:22:59 PM
Author: MC

Date: 2/22/2007 12:55:39 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Thanks for sharing your stories, everyone! I really appreciate it. DF, you''ve given me food for thought re: the weather. I think I''d react the same way you have. MC, we''d be trading acreage for non, and have no kids at this point. I am not someone who needs a lot of space, but DH is and I think he wants to move more than I do even though we''d be losing land and sq. footage (we live in a rather large home) and property. In the end the adjustments will be harder for him, if we move, because I''m the more flexbile of the two of us. I would just really be missing my family. I don''t know if it''s better or worse that this isn''t something we have to decide right now.

Do you think that if you decide to have kids, your parents will be very interactive? Definetly consider this before moving FAR away. Having active extended family is a HUGE luxury once you have children.

That is one of my biggest fears. They''re 3.5 hours away in a car now. They''d be about 6 hours away (plane and car travel included) if we moved. And i can see them moving near us if we stay in SD, I don''t picture them moving to Chicago. The dillema continues!

 

[diamondfan]

Kimberly, the funny thing is now I do not mind winter at all. My East coast friends laugh at me because I am the one out with no coat and no socks, while they are bundled. And trust me I bought loads of winter gear, Uggs, cashmere scarves, Moncler coats, shearlings, gloves, BUT I always leave them at home because they are a pain to lug and I always lose things!!! I think I have aclimatized well. I only get annoyed when it is below zero here with wind chills and my mom tells me it is 80 and sunny in L.A.

 

[Mara]

we think about the kids thing big time because my parents are 15 minutes away from us and they are hugely involved in our lives. my mom helps me out with portia whenever i need her to...and also we see them for dinner like once a week for the most part. moving away from them would be the hardest thing.

however, my mom is getting so funny about portia, like REALLY involved with her, sometimes i get scared thinking about what if she was a child !! my mom would be totally obsessed...hehee. so maybe some distance could be good? it''s so hard to really know. but i agree that having that kind of help would be a total luxury, so i am hesitant to just toss it away (and obviously...i would miss my family horribly in general).

if my family were not here or they were scattered, honestly i think i''d be game to try a new place tomorrow! but 90% of my family is here, so it''s tough.

 

[KristyDarling]

My "hometown" is and will always be Chicago, where I was born. Grew up in the burbs just outside it. But, my "home" is now San Francisco, where I live with my family. I moved out here because I had fallen in love with it during a prior visit. And I stayed because this is where DH and I decided to settle down. Both our jobs are here, and we really like our jobs and don''t plan to switch companies anytime soon. We also love the idea of raising our kids in California. We hate the snow and ice of the Midwest so that''s another huge plus. We''ve been here almost 9 years, and we''ve become so comfy and contented that we have zero desire to move anywhere else. When we visit other cities, we always look at each other and say, "We are SO lucky to live where we are. We''re never leaving."

Of course, the downside is the ridiculously high cost of living...that''s a big tradeoff, but we think it''s worth it.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 2/22/2007 2:51:42 PM
Author: IndieJones
I was born and raised in LA, and was happy to move away. I picked where I am now solely because it seemed like a nice place to live. It''s beautiful, lots of outdoor space, it''s small and can be crossed in 15 minutes, my parents live here half the time (now a minus), and it has great restaurants and cultural stuff. He came out here for his dream job, and because it''s beautiful.

Since I met him my priorities have changed. I''m more interested in a good nightlife (interesting bands, etc), living somewhere with a younger demographic, being farther away from my parent. and green. I really miss green.

Now we need to move. (dream job morphed into nightmare job) We very much want to move to Eugene, Oregon. We think we''d have a better quality of life, that''s more suited to us, than we could elsewhere. Besides, he went to college there and still has friends in the area, plus it''s only 2 hours from Portland and his family by train. I think he worries about his father''s health. I''d rather be closer to his folks than mine anyway!

I''m really close to my parents and talk to my mother all the time. Quite frankly I need to distance myself and be more independent. I don''t know, it''s just important to me to change the dynamics now that I''m getting married. And that''s a whole lot easier with physical distance.

Anyway, we''re not sure we can make Eugene work, but where ever we end up we''ll try to pick an area within it that offers us best lifestyle:
1) Proximity to work and entertainment
2) I won''t get run over if I ride my bike to the market.
3) Can afford a pretty house with a yard for the dog and a vegetable garden
4) Doesn''t feel crowded with people
5) Relaxed feel with no social pressure to look a certain way or buy stuff
6) Music we like comes through frequently
7) Stuff to do on the weekends
Sushi
9) No more than 3 hours total travel time to his family in case of emergency.

But most of all, home has to feel comfortable and like.. well... home.

You might like portland better than eugene - there are tons of really cool neighborhoods here and you could easily live an hour away from your inlaws and be within metro portland. There is a LOT to do downtown here... eugene is a much sleepier town. And yet you can find acreage if you so desire. Friends of mine are 20 minutes from downtown portland and have 16 rural acres in the hills with a creek running through it... I live on the same creek on almost an acre in the middle of a really nice western suburb.... There''s just so much diversity here. I lived in eugene for a summer and I have family there - it''s a very nice area and maybe it has improved in the last years, but if you like music, this is a great place to be. And really it''s closer to 2 hours to eugene from portland (though if the inlaws live out in the boonies that could add the other hour). There are TONS of sushi places around here... I''m not knocking eugene... I really like ashland too... in fact if I were to CHOOSE which town to live in it would be ashland LOL

I do caution you though - really think about the weather before you commit!!!!!!!

 

[ellaila]

Date: 2/23/2007 11:42:48 AM
Author: Cehrabehra

I do caution you though - really think about the weather before you commit!!!!!!!

Oh gosh, Cehra, is it really that bad?! Hubby and I keep talking about taking a trip out to Portland to check it out as a potential place to live, but he''s a huge cyclist and is nervous about the weather being too bad. So does it really rain there constantly?!

 

[Miranda]

Home is Southern California to me. I just don''t think I could ever live anyplace else. I love the weather here. We''ve lived a few different places here, but, my favorite by far is where we are now...Near the coast. If I stand on a chair in my daughter''s bedroom I can see the ocean!!!! For us it''s been a goal to live close to the beach so we''re very happy to be here. Both of our parents and my sister are within an hour drive. DH''s bro moved to the DC area to work for the gov. a couple of years ago, but, plans on coming back so we''ll all be here when they do. Being close to family is important to us...I''m super protective about who I leave my kids with so I love to have grandma and grandma close.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 2/23/2007 12:04:22 PM
Author: ellaila

Date: 2/23/2007 11:42:48 AM
Author: Cehrabehra

I do caution you though - really think about the weather before you commit!!!!!!!

Oh gosh, Cehra, is it really that bad?! Hubby and I keep talking about taking a trip out to Portland to check it out as a potential place to live, but he''s a huge cyclist and is nervous about the weather being too bad. So does it really rain there constantly?!

No it doesn''t rain constantly - I wish it did!! That''s at least exciting. See the color of the box above - that slate blue? And see the colors of grey all around the thread? THAT''S what it looks like 3/4 of the year. It isn''t blue skies and sunsets... it''s charcoal, elephant, dove, elephant, charcoal. Now, July/aug/sept/oct are really nice here... there are cloudy and rainy clusters but mostly it''s nice.... through december it''s kinda off and on between clear and cold and overcast and low/moderate. From january through june it is almost nonstop grey. There are a few sunny clusters but mostly just grey. The *rainy* days are exciting!! Usually it just is a constant drizzle or it looks like it rained recently and is totally overcast, but you don''t remember it raining. Totall boring grey blah wet blah always feel damp and blah. Almost no one bothers with umbrellas LOL

Ask the other oregonians... many of them LOVE IT but being from california I just hate it until the summer comes and then I think oh this is the best... and it really is. If I was superwealthy I''d have a house up here in the NW somewhere - probably futher north like seattle or vancouver - but I''d only be there 3 months a year. We are surprisingly north... portland is further north than montreal... so we have lovely long days in the summer!! and woefully long nights in the winter

There is tons to do here and many people do love it - I know a ton of people from ohio who think this is the bees knees but it just makes me wonder what''s wrong with ohio LOL!! It''s like living in san francisco but the fog never burns off!!!!!!!!

 

[bluehue]

Portland all the way! I grew up in IA, went to school in Chicago and have lived in Portland for the last 10 years. I LOVE it. Rain is better than snow and cold. Plus, it does not rain constantly. The summer is unbelieveable. Not too hot, clear blue sky. Plus, anything goes in Portland. It is really live and let live. You want pink hair...no one cares. Great restaurants without big city hassles. Hubby works in hi-tech, which is a cyclical biz, so we are paying off our house ASAP so that we never have to move because of $. The Pacific is 1 hour away and great skiing (Mt. Bachelor) is 3.5 hours away. One of the best city for cyclists - bike lanes everywhere. Group rides are year round.
The only down side is that family lives back in the midwest, so we are on our own. I always say, it takes a village and I have to hire mine.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

"Where are you from" was always a hard question for to answer. Do you say where you were born? (I was born in San Francisco), lived the longest? (Milwaukee, WI), lived the most important teenage years? (Cleveland, Ohio) Ah, so stressful! I usually say WI since my parents moved back there but I really haven''t "lived" there since I was 14. My DH and I took a chance on Charlotte. I had NEVER been here before we moved with the U-Haul. After 4 1/2 years I really do feel like it is our home. We love it and plan on being here for the long haul. This is where we will raise our family. It is sad sometimes that our parents are so far away but that''s part of growning up. We don''t want to live in the midwest anymore (NOT that there is anything wrong. I love a lot of things about it but the weather! Argg...it was 65 here today. How is that not an attractive selling point of the south?!?) and I can''t expect our parents to follow us.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 2/23/2007 1:54:13 AM
Author: Mara
we think about the kids thing big time because my parents are 15 minutes away from us and they are hugely involved in our lives. my mom helps me out with portia whenever i need her to...and also we see them for dinner like once a week for the most part. moving away from them would be the hardest thing.

however, my mom is getting so funny about portia, like REALLY involved with her, sometimes i get scared thinking about what if she was a child !! my mom would be totally obsessed...hehee. so maybe some distance could be good? it''s so hard to really know. but i agree that having that kind of help would be a total luxury, so i am hesitant to just toss it away (and obviously...i would miss my family horribly in general).

if my family were not here or they were scattered, honestly i think i''d be game to try a new place tomorrow! but 90% of my family is here, so it''s tough.

Mara, when your mom makes a quilt for Portia it will be time to GTFO. I catch my mother talking about her "granddogs" every now and then and it really sort of freaks me out! Then again, we live 5 hrs from her, but she is stilll always trying to be involved in whatever situations....

 

[akw94]

Kimberly, not to steer you away from Chgo in any way but *my* experience in Chgo. is not that of mid-western friendliness and warmth. I have lived here (well, now in a suburb right outside the city) the majority of my life. I wasn''t born in IL but lived there since a young child and only lived elsewhere while in college. I have never liked it here, partially b/c of the weather and partially b/c of the atmosphere. I can''t stand this weather and have always vowed to move to a warm weather place. Now, I will likely get my wish but possibly moving to Puerto Rico is very different than possibly moving inside the US. Also, I find Chgo. to be a very separated city and not warm at all. Again, this is just my experience and other people just love it. I think living downtown in a condo. is fun but not as much fun if you have kids. I moved to a suburb only b/c I have a child. The city schools just aren''t adequate and I couldn''t afford private school. Plus, I wanted an environment where my child could play outside, would see his friends around the area and not have to be bused to school (which is very likely since there are very few good schools around and the likelihood that you will live close to the one you choose is slim). He actually attended a few city public schools and the experience was bad enough to push us to the suburbs.
I know you mentioned pvt school so that may not be a huge issue for you. What school (if you don''t mind saying)?
I can completely relate to your concerns about being far from family. For me, I never thought much of this issue until recently. Now, it''s hard to think about moving. My FI and I will probably have another child and to do that somewhere that is far from my family is a tough idea. To not attend family dinners or just hang out w/my mom here and there... And if we have a baby, to not have that family support. Of course, I''d have my FI but that doesn''t replace my mom. It''s tough! However, for me, I''m pretty sure we will move, if not to PR, somewhere else. Neither FI nor I like the weather and we have added things to consider like his daughter.

I truly wasn''t trying to push you away from Chgo, just sharing my experiences! I do know others who love it and wouldn''t leave.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 3/1/2007 3:55:14 PM
Author: dixie94
Kimberly, not to steer you away from Chgo in any way but *my* experience in Chgo. is not that of mid-western friendliness and warmth. I have lived here (well, now in a suburb right outside the city) the majority of my life. I wasn''t born in IL but lived there since a young child and only lived elsewhere while in college. I have never liked it here, partially b/c of the weather and partially b/c of the atmosphere. I can''t stand this weather and have always vowed to move to a warm weather place. Now, I will likely get my wish but possibly moving to Puerto Rico is very different than possibly moving inside the US. Also, I find Chgo. to be a very separated city and not warm at all. Again, this is just my experience and other people just love it. I think living downtown in a condo. is fun but not as much fun if you have kids. I moved to a suburb only b/c I have a child. The city schools just aren''t adequate and I couldn''t afford private school. Plus, I wanted an environment where my child could play outside, would see his friends around the area and not have to be bused to school (which is very likely since there are very few good schools around and the likelihood that you will live close to the one you choose is slim). He actually attended a few city public schools and the experience was bad enough to push us to the suburbs.
I know you mentioned pvt school so that may not be a huge issue for you. What school (if you don''t mind saying)?
I can completely relate to your concerns about being far from family. For me, I never thought much of this issue until recently. Now, it''s hard to think about moving. My FI and I will probably have another child and to do that somewhere that is far from my family is a tough idea. To not attend family dinners or just hang out w/my mom here and there... And if we have a baby, to not have that family support. Of course, I''d have my FI but that doesn''t replace my mom. It''s tough! However, for me, I''m pretty sure we will move, if not to PR, somewhere else. Neither FI nor I like the weather and we have added things to consider like his daughter.

I truly wasn''t trying to push you away from Chgo, just sharing my experiences! I do know others who love it and wouldn''t leave.

Dixie,

Thanks so much for sharing your perspective, I absolutely appreciate it! Not having a yard (especially considering we have acreage now) is an issue I have considered. The whole family thing is at the top of my list of reasons not to want to move. I can see my parents moving to SD someday to live near us, especially if we have children. I can''t see them moving to Chicago.

Moving would be ideal for DH''s professional life, both his present career and potential future career. I know how much he would like to be able to return to his passion (medical science) and Chicago is an ideal place for him to do so.

I don''t mind saying which school, but my very private husband might, so out of respect for him I won''t.

He told me the other day that he had stopped considering moving because he thought it would be too hard on me, which was suprising to hear since we haven''t really discussed it in depth.

I''m still toying with the idea, but we have had so many major life changes in the last 8 months: moving, marriage, a career change for me which including quitting work and going back to school and his mother''s passing and I had a revelation that maybe it was time for us to just let things be for a while. So perhaps we''ll revisit this in a few months/year but for now I think we both need to just sit back and relax instead of looking to make our next bold move, ya know what I mean?

 

[omieluv]

I was raised in a suburb right outside of Chicago and currently work in the Loop. The city is great, food and culture is everywhere. Parking is of course terrible, but if you get the hang of the train and do not mind walking, you should be fine. As for the people, it really depends. I think we are more warm than some cities, but that is starting to change. In fact, I was talking with a woman who was born in Chicago, moved to New York for 10 years and moved back. She could not believe how much Chicago has changed, in that is starting to slowly morph into New York. This was her opinion of course. She said we are not New York''s twin, but she could see some patterns starting to emerge.

The public schools in the city are not so good, so definitely a private school is a must. I live in a suburb, which is about a 15 minute train ride away from the city where the schools are pretty solid. In fact, many young people who love the city end up moving to this suburb when they have kids because of the proximity to the city and for the school system.

Moving from where you live to Chicago will be a change, that''s for sure! I went to school in Tampa to escape to nicer weather. While the weather was nicer, the city did not give me the "Chicago" feel I was used to, so I did not relocate there on a permanent basis.

As for your family, you will miss them. You are just going to have to relocate here to know for sure...

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 3/1/2007 5:34:20 PM
Author: omieluv
I was raised in a suburb right outside of Chicago and currently work in the Loop. The city is great, food and culture is everywhere. Parking is of course terrible, but if you get the hang of the train and do not mind walking, you should be fine. As for the people, it really depends. I think we are more warm than some cities, but that is starting to change. In fact, I was talking with a woman who was born in Chicago, moved to New York for 10 years and moved back. She could not believe how much Chicago has changed, in that is starting to slowly morph into New York. This was her opinion of course. She said we are not New York''s twin, but she could see some patterns starting to emerge.

The public schools in the city are not so good, so definitely a private school is a must. I live in a suburb, which is about a 15 minute train ride away from the city where the schools are pretty solid. In fact, many young people who love the city end up moving to this suburb when they have kids because of the proximity to the city and for the school system.

Moving from where you live to Chicago will be a change, that''s for sure! I went to school in Tampa to escape to nicer weather. While the weather was nicer, the city did not give me the ''Chicago'' feel I was used to, so I did not relocate there on a permanent basis.

As for your family, you will miss them. You are just going to have to relocate here to know for sure...

Thanks for the info, omie. The culture is what we love so much about the city, from the zoo to the parks to the museums to the theatre to the amazing food, all of the things we love are there, and the feeling we get when we visit, which is quite frequently, is that we are "home" in many ways. We have explored so much of the city itself, the suburbs is one of the few places we haven''t managed to visit. And we take public transport, we''ve even ridden the buses, while we''re there. And have become quite familiar with the L, or is it el? This is quite different from the sprawling CA lifestyle where everyone owns a car and we both enjoy it so.

DH would actually prefer to live in the city if we move, which is quite opposite of what he usually prefers, while I am much more a city gal so I that aspect would be right up my alley. He and I both are just in love with Chicago.

I can see the comparison to NYC to some degree, and I love it there as well, but there are some major differences in the vibes the two cities give off.

 

[Rod]

Kimberly, it seems to me your heart is in Chicago, regardless of where your stuff is currently. If you get the chance to put you, John and your stuff where your heart is, I think it would be a good thing. Trust me, Charlie and I moved from Washington D.C., to Florida. Then a job change took us on a three year detour to Lexington, KY (not recommended btw

), then back to Florida for nearly 12 years. It''s where our stuff still is and unfortunately, my heart, but I have grown fond of Raleigh, NC., and I know once my stuff is here and we have a real home here, we''ll be pretty happy. But, if we''re not, we can go back to Florida some day. That''s the nice thing about our terrific country. We''re not prisoners anywhere, and if you want to move to Chicago and after a time, it doesn''t work for you, you can leave Chicago. So, give the place where your heart is a chance if you can!!!

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 3/1/2007 10:23:52 PM
Author: Rod
Kimberly, it seems to me your heart is in Chicago, regardless of where your stuff is currently. If you get the chance to put you, John and your stuff where your heart is, I think it would be a good thing. Trust me, Charlie and I moved from Washington D.C., to Florida. Then a job change took us on a three year detour to Lexington, KY (not recommended btw

), then back to Florida for nearly 12 years. It''s where our stuff still is and unfortunately, my heart, but I have grown fond of Raleigh, NC., and I know once my stuff is here and we have a real home here, we''ll be pretty happy. But, if we''re not, we can go back to Florida some day. That''s the nice thing about our terrific country. We''re not prisoners anywhere, and if you want to move to Chicago and after a time, it doesn''t work for you, you can leave Chicago. So, give the place where your heart is a chance if you can!!!

I totally know what you mean, Rod, and your right our hearts are there to some degree. Those apron strings sure are hard to cut though, and the possiblity of one of us not wanting to come back and the other desperately needing to is a bit daunting. I would hate to create a rift in our relationship with a situation like that arising, and I have a feeling it might if we decide to have kids. Although I went to Target this afternoon and saw quite a few SAHMs with their screaming children (one actually ran her daughter over with the shopping cart, got mad at the kid and then managed to lose the little girl all in a matter of 2 minutes) and it made me think "do I really want one of those?"

Only time will telll. And I really do think we need to sit tight for a little bit and just live our lives instead of being in this constant "What''s next" motion.

 

[Rod]

Date: 3/2/2007 3:53:37 PM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 3/1/2007 10:23:52 PM
Author: Rod
Kimberly, it seems to me your heart is in Chicago, regardless of where your stuff is currently. If you get the chance to put you, John and your stuff where your heart is, I think it would be a good thing. Trust me, Charlie and I moved from Washington D.C., to Florida. Then a job change took us on a three year detour to Lexington, KY (not recommended btw

), then back to Florida for nearly 12 years. It''s where our stuff still is and unfortunately, my heart, but I have grown fond of Raleigh, NC., and I know once my stuff is here and we have a real home here, we''ll be pretty happy. But, if we''re not, we can go back to Florida some day. That''s the nice thing about our terrific country. We''re not prisoners anywhere, and if you want to move to Chicago and after a time, it doesn''t work for you, you can leave Chicago. So, give the place where your heart is a chance if you can!!!

I totally know what you mean, Rod, and your right our hearts are there to some degree. Those apron strings sure are hard to cut though, and the possiblity of one of us not wanting to come back and the other desperately needing to is a bit daunting. I would hate to create a rift in our relationship with a situation like that arising, and I have a feeling it might if we decide to have kids. Although I went to Target this afternoon and saw quite a few SAHMs with their screaming children (one actually ran her daughter over with the shopping cart, got mad at the kid and then managed to lose the little girl all in a matter of 2 minutes) and it made me think ''do I really want one of those?''

Only time will telll. And I really do think we need to sit tight for a little bit and just live our lives instead of being in this constant ''What''s next'' motion.

I''ve never, nor will I ever have children, so I often see scenarios like you experienced in Target and I think to myself, why on earth did you want them?? But I''m sure having children can be a wonderful experience at times and difficult at other times. Seems like the difficult times are often in full public view. LOL

If you and John are hoping to raise a family, being near yours could be a major factor in where you live. For me and Charlie, we can really live where we want, sort of. Actually, it seems we end up living where our jobs take us. I''m not sure that''s the best way to do it, but it''s our reality these days. When we were younger and less encumbered financially, that''s when we were able to just get up and go where we wanted. That''s how we wound up in Florida the first time around. I really miss being able to just decide to live somewhere simply because we want to live there.

I''m sure you and John will find happiness regardless of where you live. At least, I hope you do!! And that for sure will be where your heart and home is.

 

[gailrmv]

hi KimberlyH, I just wanted to say that I used to live in downtown Chicago and I LOVE it. The only things I found difficult were high cost of living, traffic, and winters. I didn''t drive much and used public transportation a lot. I loved all the culture around. There was so much to do. The whole city was my living room. It was a really easy place to get around. My favorite thing was walking or jogging along the lake in the spring or summer. The shopping, culture, and people-watching was great. There was ALWAYS something to do, somewhere new to go eat, a new play or exhibit at the museum that I wanted to go see. I lived there as a student and as a recent grad, so money was always a little tight. I know that we would have an even better time there now that our careers have progressed. I''m not sure how it is where you live now, but one thing to be aware of is in Chicago, just like any major city, there is both extreme affluence and poverty closely intermingled - i.e. someone will probably ask you for money as you are leaving the Tiffany on Michigan Ave - but it is just part of city life. Even in the best neighborhoods you''ll want to be careful about your personal security. This was different from where I grew up, where you could leave your doors unlocked and kids played outside after school, so it took some getting used to. Anyway, just wanted to share my positive experience about Chicago.

 

[KimberlyH]

Rod: The most difficult times usually are in public, or it just so happens that parents who don''t like to parent are the one''s who are most noticable. Deciding whether or not to have little ones is another tough decison we have to make at some point in the next few years. This adult life choices business can be quite complicated!! tee hee hee

gail: Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I am used to big cities and all that comes along with them, so while experiencing the extremes of poverty and wealth would sadden me, as it does now, it''s not something I am unfamilar with. It truly is a great place, overall.

I''ll let everyone know what we decide, when we finally do. I''m thinking we''ll make the decision at some point before the end of this year.

 

[ellaila]

Funny, I've been to Chicago a bunch of times and every time I go, I think, "This city is not for me!" - which is too bad since I've got two brothers and one of my best friends out there, so it'd be a great place for us to move! I live in Boston, so I'm much more used to a small city, and Chicago is too BIG city for me! I feel like I'm in NYC but minus the appeal of NYC. I can see why some people love it (and I have liked parts of it, don't get me wrong. We were there this past Christmas and went to the Christkindle outdoor market - so cute! And OH the strudel

), but for me personally I guess I'm just a small-city gal.

I think I mentioned earlier that we've been tossing around the idea of Boulder, CO, for over a year now, and I think we're going to head out there again in the spring to really take a look at it through the eyes of potential home-buyers. We get online MLS listings for it and a few surrounding towns, and it makes my head spin when I see the type of house we can get for $X as compared to what we get here for that price. Literally, a 3-4 bedroom, 3 bath, 2-car garage home with a yard about 10 minutes outside of Boulder, compared to a (I kid you not) half a shed-like duplex with 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, no garage about 30 minutes outside of Boston for almost $10K more!! I almost cried when I saw that one. We just cannot see becoming house-poor over a miserable little shed just to stay here, when we could live in gorgeous Colorado and be in our own HOUSE. Sure, it would be hard moving thousands of miles away, but ... hey, you only live once, right?

Not to be a Debbie Downer here, but a friend reminded me of something to think about location-wise for any of you planning on having kids. Only 12 states offer insurance coverage - of varying degrees at that - for infertility treatments (and CO ain't one of them). MA has fantastic coverage - covers up to three IVF treatments, which is incredible. (Can you tell I'm in my mid-30s and planning on having kids?

Not too much of a worrywart, am I? So I told hubby he better knock me up before we move out to CO! Sorry if TMI!)

ETA: Kimberly, we had a similar "Do we really want kids?!" after a horrifying trip to Friendly's recently! It was right near Target and I got all nostalgic for a Friendly's burger (haven't had one in god knows how long!), and it was like 3 pm, so we figured it wouldn't be too kids-packed so we decided to venture it. WRONG-O! Eeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkk!!!!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 2/27/2007 11:59:00 PM
Author: bluehue
Portland all the way! I grew up in IA, went to school in Chicago and have lived in Portland for the last 10 years. I LOVE it. Rain is better than snow and cold. Plus, it does not rain constantly. The summer is unbelieveable. Not too hot, clear blue sky. Plus, anything goes in Portland. It is really live and let live. You want pink hair...no one cares. Great restaurants without big city hassles. Hubby works in hi-tech, which is a cyclical biz, so we are paying off our house ASAP so that we never have to move because of $. The Pacific is 1 hour away and great skiing (Mt. Bachelor) is 3.5 hours away. One of the best city for cyclists - bike lanes everywhere. Group rides are year round.
The only down side is that family lives back in the midwest, so we are on our own. I always say, it takes a village and I have to hire mine.

this is pretty much our experience, but the weather is a downgrade from where I grew up rather than an upgrade LOL!!

Yeah, don''t listen to me in the winter about portland or the NW LOL - I really hate the weather here except in the summer - in the summer it is THE BEST place to be. Hands down.

I HATE GREY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 2/28/2007 4:12:00 AM
Author: monarch64

Date: 2/23/2007 1:54:13 AM
Author: Mara
we think about the kids thing big time because my parents are 15 minutes away from us and they are hugely involved in our lives. my mom helps me out with portia whenever i need her to...and also we see them for dinner like once a week for the most part. moving away from them would be the hardest thing.

however, my mom is getting so funny about portia, like REALLY involved with her, sometimes i get scared thinking about what if she was a child !! my mom would be totally obsessed...hehee. so maybe some distance could be good? it''s so hard to really know. but i agree that having that kind of help would be a total luxury, so i am hesitant to just toss it away (and obviously...i would miss my family horribly in general).

if my family were not here or they were scattered, honestly i think i''d be game to try a new place tomorrow! but 90% of my family is here, so it''s tough.

Mara, when your mom makes a quilt for Portia it will be time to GTFO. I catch my mother talking about her ''granddogs'' every now and then and it really sort of freaks me out! Then again, we live 5 hrs from her, but she is stilll always trying to be involved in whatever situations....

oh man.... I felt like this before I had kids and even after I had kids... but once they start getting older and will be leaving the nest.... you suddenly have pity on your parents wanting to be involved.... you love your kids and even though you''ve had to let go, you don''t want to be excluded from their lives, even their daily lives. I wish my mom was still alive to include in my daily life....

 

[omieluv]

Date: 3/1/2007 6:18:31 PM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 3/1/2007 5:34:20 PM
Author: omieluv
I was raised in a suburb right outside of Chicago and currently work in the Loop. The city is great, food and culture is everywhere. Parking is of course terrible, but if you get the hang of the train and do not mind walking, you should be fine. As for the people, it really depends. I think we are more warm than some cities, but that is starting to change. In fact, I was talking with a woman who was born in Chicago, moved to New York for 10 years and moved back. She could not believe how much Chicago has changed, in that is starting to slowly morph into New York. This was her opinion of course. She said we are not New York''s twin, but she could see some patterns starting to emerge.

The public schools in the city are not so good, so definitely a private school is a must. I live in a suburb, which is about a 15 minute train ride away from the city where the schools are pretty solid. In fact, many young people who love the city end up moving to this suburb when they have kids because of the proximity to the city and for the school system.

Moving from where you live to Chicago will be a change, that''s for sure! I went to school in Tampa to escape to nicer weather. While the weather was nicer, the city did not give me the ''Chicago'' feel I was used to, so I did not relocate there on a permanent basis.

As for your family, you will miss them. You are just going to have to relocate here to know for sure...

Thanks for the info, omie. The culture is what we love so much about the city, from the zoo to the parks to the museums to the theatre to the amazing food, all of the things we love are there, and the feeling we get when we visit, which is quite frequently, is that we are ''home'' in many ways. We have explored so much of the city itself, the suburbs is one of the few places we haven''t managed to visit. And we take public transport, we''ve even ridden the buses, while we''re there. And have become quite familiar with the L, or is it el? This is quite different from the sprawling CA lifestyle where everyone owns a car and we both enjoy it so.

DH would actually prefer to live in the city if we move, which is quite opposite of what he usually prefers, while I am much more a city gal so I that aspect would be right up my alley. He and I both are just in love with Chicago.

I can see the comparison to NYC to some degree, and I love it there as well, but there are some major differences in the vibes the two cities give off.

Yes, it is the "L" however, I must warn you that our "L" is nothing like the subway system of NYC. If you are going to live and work in the Loop, you will be fine, but sometimes it can get tricky. For me, it works out fine b/c I live in a suburb where I have access to the L, making my trip to work a breeze. While you do not need a car, many of my friends in the city have one, b/c they also like getting out of the city to visit friends/family living further out.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 3/3/2007 4:38:30 PM
Author: omieluv

Date: 3/1/2007 6:18:31 PM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 3/1/2007 5:34:20 PM
Author: omieluv
I was raised in a suburb right outside of Chicago and currently work in the Loop. The city is great, food and culture is everywhere. Parking is of course terrible, but if you get the hang of the train and do not mind walking, you should be fine. As for the people, it really depends. I think we are more warm than some cities, but that is starting to change. In fact, I was talking with a woman who was born in Chicago, moved to New York for 10 years and moved back. She could not believe how much Chicago has changed, in that is starting to slowly morph into New York. This was her opinion of course. She said we are not New York''s twin, but she could see some patterns starting to emerge.

The public schools in the city are not so good, so definitely a private school is a must. I live in a suburb, which is about a 15 minute train ride away from the city where the schools are pretty solid. In fact, many young people who love the city end up moving to this suburb when they have kids because of the proximity to the city and for the school system.

Moving from where you live to Chicago will be a change, that''s for sure! I went to school in Tampa to escape to nicer weather. While the weather was nicer, the city did not give me the ''Chicago'' feel I was used to, so I did not relocate there on a permanent basis.

As for your family, you will miss them. You are just going to have to relocate here to know for sure...

Thanks for the info, omie. The culture is what we love so much about the city, from the zoo to the parks to the museums to the theatre to the amazing food, all of the things we love are there, and the feeling we get when we visit, which is quite frequently, is that we are ''home'' in many ways. We have explored so much of the city itself, the suburbs is one of the few places we haven''t managed to visit. And we take public transport, we''ve even ridden the buses, while we''re there. And have become quite familiar with the L, or is it el? This is quite different from the sprawling CA lifestyle where everyone owns a car and we both enjoy it so.

DH would actually prefer to live in the city if we move, which is quite opposite of what he usually prefers, while I am much more a city gal so I that aspect would be right up my alley. He and I both are just in love with Chicago.

I can see the comparison to NYC to some degree, and I love it there as well, but there are some major differences in the vibes the two cities give off.

Yes, it is the ''L'' however, I must warn you that our ''L'' is nothing like the subway system of NYC. If you are going to live and work in the Loop, you will be fine, but sometimes it can get tricky. For me, it works out fine b/c I live in a suburb where I have access to the L, making my trip to work a breeze. While you do not need a car, many of my friends in the city have one, b/c they also like getting out of the city to visit friends/family living further out.

We would definitely have a car, but we would only need one, which would be nice. Thanks again for sharing such great info, omie.

 

[bluehue]

Can't argue with you Cehrabera on the grey! The few hours of sunshine today was a clarion call to the outdoors! I think you are right to point out from that what you come is such a huge factor as to how you view the winters.