How are you coping with isolation?

[Matata]

I feel as though I've lived the last 3 weeks in a dense fog. One of my cats had to have perineal urethrostomy surgery which means his penis was removed and his parts reconfigured so he now pees like a female. He spent a week at the specialty clinic prior to the surgery while they tried to unblock him. Even though I have 3 other cats, the house was too quiet and empty without him.

After the surgery he had to wear the cone of shame for 2 weeks which means I had to hand feed him because he made a mess trying to eat with the cone on. Also had to wipe his butt, keep wound clean, give meds 3x a day. The first week he was home he howled if I wasn't in the quarantine room with him so I slept on a mat on the floor. My hips and back now make a variety of squeaky creaky noises and pops.

The cone came off yesterday and I finally feel like I can breathe again. Now I'm being taunted by the mess in my pantry, a black hole of stuff that grows exponentially every time I turn on the light. I think it's possessed.

 

[missy]

@Matata hope your cat feels much better very soon.



And good luck with your black hole of stuff in the pantry.

 

[Matata]

Thank you @missy. Juba is feeling much better now that he can pee. I'm very good at procrastinating at cleaning out the pantry. I've convinced myself that it's a perfect project for winter and that I should be spending time outdoors now that the weather is good.

 

[Niffler75]

@Matata 'The cone of shame!' I've been chuckling all evening! Glad Juba is feeling better!

 

[canuk-gal]

I was excited to get my cylinders of wild bird seed today. Basically, we're spending all of our money on food to feed people, dogs and wild birds. I realized too late that I accidentally bought a cylinder that won't survive 1 night because it has nuts in it. The raccoons disassemble the entire feeder by hand to get at that stuff!

Scaliwags!

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I went to work today and when I came home, I noticed the floors are still dirty....

cheers--Sharon

 

[House Cat]

My therapist gave me this list of tips for coping during quarantine because I am not doing a fantastic job at it. I’m sort of frozen with anxiety. I thought I would share this in case anyone else could benefit from it.

FANTASTIC COVID-19 MENTAL HEALTH TIPS FROM PSYCHOLOGIST MARGIE DONLON:

"AFTER HAVING THIRTY-ONE SESSIONS THIS WEEK WITH PATIENTS WHERE THE SINGULAR FOCUS WAS COVID-19 AND HOW TO COPE, I DECIDED TO CONSOLIDATE MY ADVICE AND MAKE A LIST THAT I HOPE IS HELPFUL TO ALL. I CAN'T CONTROL A LOT OF WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW, BUT I CAN CONTRIBUTE THIS."

MENTAL HEALTH WELLNESS TIPS FOR QUARANTINE

1. Stick to a routine. Go to sleep and wake up at a reasonable time, write a schedule that is varied and includes time for work as well as self-care.

2. Dress for the social life you want, not the social life you have. Get showered and dressed in comfortable clothes, wash your face, brush your teeth. Take the time to do a bath or a facial. Put on some bright colors. It is amazing how our dress can impact our mood.

3. Get out at least once a day, for at least thirty minutes. If you are concerned of contact, try first thing in the morning, or later in the evening, and try less traveled streets and avenues. If you are high risk or living with those who are high risk, open the windows and blast the fan. It is amazing how much fresh air can do for spirits.

4. Find some time to move each day, again daily for at least thirty minutes. If you don’t feel comfortable going outside, there are many YouTube videos that offer free movement classes, and if all else fails, turn on the music and have a dance party!

5. Reach out to others, you guessed it, at least once daily for thirty minutes. Try to do FaceTime, Skype, phone calls, texting—connect with other people to seek and provide support. Don’t forget to do this for your children as well. Set up virtual playdates with friends daily via FaceTime, Facebook Messenger Kids, Zoom, etc—your kids miss their friends, too!

6. Stay hydrated and eat well. This one may seem obvious, but stress and eating often don’t mix well, and we find ourselves over-indulging, forgetting to eat, and avoiding food. Drink plenty of water, eat some good and nutritious foods, and challenge yourself to learn how to cook something new!

7. Develop a self-care toolkit. This can look different for everyone. A lot of successful self-care strategies involve a sensory component (seven senses: touch, taste, sight, hearing, smell, vestibular (movement) and proprioceptive (comforting pressure). An idea for each: a soft blanket or stuffed animal, a hot chocolate, photos of vacations, comforting music, lavender or eucalyptus oil, a small swing or rocking chair, a weighted blanket. A journal, an inspirational book, or a mandala coloring book is wonderful, bubbles to blow or blowing watercolor on paper through a straw are visually appealing as well as work on controlled breath. Mint gum, Listerine strips, ginger ale, frozen Starburst, ice packs, and cold are also good for anxiety regulation. For children, it is great to help them create a self-regulation comfort box (often a shoe-box or bin they can decorate) that they can use on the ready for first-aid when overwhelmed.

8. Spend extra time playing with children. Children will rarely communicate how they are feeling, but will often make a bid for attention and communication through play. Don’t be surprised to see therapeutic themes of illness, doctor visits, and isolation play through. Understand that play is cathartic and helpful for children—it is how they process their world and problem solve, and there’s a lot they are seeing and experiencing in the now.

9. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and a wide berth. A lot of cooped up time can bring out the worst in everyone. Each person will have moments when they will not be at their best. It is important to move with grace through blowups, to not show up to every argument you are invited to, and to not hold grudges and continue disagreements. Everyone is doing the best they can to make it through this.

10. Everyone find their own retreat space. Space is at a premium, particularly with city living. It is important that people think through their own separate space for work and for relaxation. For children, help them identify a place where they can go to retreat when stressed. You can make this place cozy by using blankets, pillows, cushions, scarves, beanbags, tents, and “forts”. It is good to know that even when we are on top of each other, we have our own special place to go to be alone.

11. Expect behavioral issues in children, and respond gently. We are all struggling with disruption in routine, none more than children, who rely on routines constructed by others to make them feel safe and to know what comes next. Expect increased anxiety, worries and fears, nightmares, difficulty separating or sleeping, testing limits, and meltdowns. Do not introduce major behavioral plans or consequences at this time—hold stable and focus on emotional connection.

12. Focus on safety and attachment. We are going to be living for a bit with the unprecedented demand of meeting all work deadlines, homeschooling children, running a sterile household, and making a whole lot of entertainment in confinement. We can get wrapped up in meeting expectations in all domains, but we must remember that these are scary and unpredictable times for children. Focus on strengthening the connection through time spent following their lead, through physical touch, through play, through therapeutic books, and via verbal reassurances that you will be there for them in this time.

13. Lower expectations and practice radical self-acceptance. This idea is connected with #12. We are doing too many things in this moment, under fear and stress. This does not make a formula for excellence. Instead, give yourself what psychologists call “radical self acceptance”: accepting everything about yourself, your current situation, and your life without question, blame, or pushback. You cannot fail at this—there is no roadmap, no precedent for this, and we are all truly doing the best we can in an impossible situation.

14. Limit social media and COVID conversation, especially around children. One can find tons of information on COVID-19 to consume, and it changes minute to minute. The information is often sensationalized, negatively skewed, and alarmist. Find a few trusted sources that you can check in with consistently, limit it to a few times a day, and set a time limit for yourself on how much you consume (again 30 minutes tops, 2-3 times daily). Keep news and alarming conversations out of earshot from children—they see and hear everything, and can become very frightened by what they hear.

15. Notice the good in the world, the helpers. There is a lot of scary, negative, and overwhelming information to take in regarding this pandemic. There are also a ton of stories of people sacrificing, donating, and supporting one another in miraculous ways. It is important to counter-balance the heavy information with the hopeful information.

16. Help others. Find ways, big and small, to give back to others. Support restaurants, offer to grocery shop, check in with elderly neighbors, write psychological wellness tips for others—helping others gives us a sense of agency when things seem out of control.

17. Find something you can control, and control the heck out of it. In moments of big uncertainty and overwhelm, control your little corner of the world. Organize your bookshelf, purge your closet, put together that furniture, group your toys. It helps to anchor and ground us when the bigger things are chaotic.

18. Find a long-term project to dive into. Now is the time to learn how to play the keyboard, put together a huge jigsaw puzzle, start a 15 hour game of Risk, paint a picture, read the Harry Potter series, binge watch an 8-season show, crochet a blanket, solve a Rubix cube, or develop a new town in Animal Crossing. Find something that will keep you busy, distracted, and engaged to take breaks from what is going on in the outside world.

19. Engage in repetitive movements and left-right movements. Research has shown that repetitive movement (knitting, coloring, painting, clay sculpting, jump roping etc) especially left-right movement (running, drumming, skating, hopping) can be effective at self-soothing and maintaining self-regulation in moments of distress.

20. Find an expressive art and go for it. Our emotional brain is very receptive to the creative arts, and it is a direct portal for release of feeling. Find something that is creative (sculpting, drawing, dancing, music, singing, playing) and give it your all. See how relieved you can feel. It is a very effective way of helping kids to emote and communicate as well!

21. Find lightness and humor in each day. There is a lot to be worried about, and with good reason. Counterbalance this heaviness with something funny each day: cat videos on YouTube, a stand-up show on Netflix, a funny movie—we all need a little comedic relief in our day, every day.

22. Reach out for help—your team is there for you. If you have a therapist or psychiatrist, they are available to you, even at a distance. Keep up your medications and your therapy sessions the best you can. If you are having difficulty coping, seek out help for the first time. There are mental health people on the ready to help you through this crisis. Your children’s teachers and related service providers will do anything within their power to help, especially for those parents tasked with the difficult task of being a whole treatment team to their child with special challenges. Seek support groups of fellow home-schoolers, parents, and neighbors to feel connected. There is help and support out there, any time of the day—although we are physically distant, we can always connect virtually.

23. “Chunk” your quarantine, take it moment by moment. We have no road map for this. We don’t know what this will look like in 1 day, 1 week, or 1 month from now. Often, when I work with patients who have anxiety around overwhelming issues, I suggest that they engage in a strategy called “chunking”—focusing on whatever bite-sized piece of a challenge that feels manageable. Whether that be 5 minutes, a day, or a week at a time—find what feels doable for you, and set a time stamp for how far ahead in the future you will let yourself worry. Take each chunk one at a time, and move through stress in pieces.

24. Remind yourself daily that this is temporary. It seems in the midst of this quarantine that it will never end. It is terrifying to think of the road stretching ahead of us. Please take time to remind yourself that although this is very scary and difficult, and will go on for an undetermined amount of time, it is a season of life and it will pass. We will return to feeing free, safe, busy, and connected in the days ahead.

25. Find the lesson. This whole crisis can seem sad, senseless, and at times, avoidable. When psychologists work with trauma, a key feature to helping someone work through said trauma is to help them find their agency, the potential positive outcomes they can effect, the meaning and construction that can come out of destruction. What can each of us learn here, in big and small ways, from this crisis? What needs to change in ourselves, our homes, our communities, our nation, and our world?

 

[missy]

Thanks for sharing @House Cat -that's a great list.

Especially #24 IMO.

And I will add one too.
We need to take it all one day at a time and when that feels overwhelming take it one hour at a time.

 

[House Cat]

Thanks for sharing @House Cat -that's a great list.

Especially #24 IMO.

And I will add one too.
We need to take it all one day at a time and when that feels overwhelming take it one hour at a time.

I agree. In the midst of this quarantine, it feels permanent. I have told my husband that several times. Actually, I told him the virus looming down on us feels permanent.

I can stand being home much more than I can stand the possibility of this virus taking a family member.

 

[missy]

I agree. In the midst of this quarantine, it feels permanent. I have told my husband that several times. Actually, I told him the virus looming down on us feels permanent.

I can stand being home much more than I can stand the possibility of this virus taking a family member.

Yes IMO staying at home is EASY compared to the potential of contracting Covid 19 or having a family member contracting Covid 19 and potentially losing one's life to it. As long as we remain healthy and well staying at home is EASY. And not boring. At all. Being safe is by far the most critical thing right now.

 

[lyra]

I was sick for most of March, started with a cold that quickly became an ear infection, which I rarely get. I did a full course of clavulin. Now it's April and I have another cold. I'm never sick this often. My hands are so damaged from all the hand washing which I do probably 30 times a day. Also, I haven't left the house in over a month. I don't think this bodes well for me. I don't know why I'm so susceptible this year of all years. We're spraying everything with Lysol too. I don't hold out much hope about not getting the virus at this point.

 

[Dee*Jay]

I think I just pulled a muscle trying to open the bedroom door handle with my foot. No joke. Yowch.

 

[Matata]

Pant pant...I'm losing it...twitch shudder....I'm oversaturated with the phrases "in these challenging times" and "social distancing" which is repeated a gazillion googolplex times per day over ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL social and print media. Pleeeeeeeze make it stop. Shudder twitch.

 

[missy]

Pant pant...I'm losing it...twitch shudder....I'm oversaturated with the phrases "in these challenging times" and "social distancing" which is repeated a gazillion googolplex times per day over ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL social and print media. Pleeeeeeeze make it stop. Shudder twitch.

Can we add "literally" to that list please. As in if I hear that word one more time my head will "literally" (haha not) explode. Yeah that's how people are using it. Not what the word literally means people.

 

[lyra]

I'm starting to censor out anything that says COVID. I'm not reading it anymore, or watching it. Just tuning out. I'm isolating, I don't go out at all, this is fine. It's fine, I tell you, fine.

 

[canuk-gal]

I was sick for most of March, started with a cold that quickly became an ear infection, which I rarely get. I did a full course of clavulin. Now it's April and I have another cold. I'm never sick this often. My hands are so damaged from all the hand washing which I do probably 30 times a day. Also, I haven't left the house in over a month. I don't think this bodes well for me. I don't know why I'm so susceptible this year of all years. We're spraying everything with Lysol too. I don't hold out much hope about not getting the virus at this point.

How frustrating Lyra; take care. Spring always follows winter...….

 

[Matata]

I wore a v-neck t-shirt backwards all day and didn't notice until I undressed to take a shower.

 

[MarionC]

I wore a v-neck t-shirt backwards all day and didn't notice until I undressed to take a shower.

 

[Jadeite_101]

It’s week 4 of our Enhanced Community Quarantine or ECQ. Basically I’ve been in isolation since March 15 and haven’t seen my family or friends since then. How to I cope? I follow a somewhat basic and loose routine. I burn and offer incense in the morning (it’s a cultural thing). I work, still doing paper works for the clinic I’m setting up with my cousins. I eat three square meals a day. Take a bath in the afternoon since it’s the hottest part of the day. I termed it loose because sometimes I mix it up.
But on my spare time I read A LOT primarily reasearch material.
I catalogue my collections.
I play with my dog though more like pet her, she can’t handle play anymore since she’s 15yo aready.
I log on to PS comment and post.
I chat with friends and family through FB messenger or IG.
I join fundraising drives for charity donations for frontliners’ PPEs.
At night I facetime with friends and family.
Come to think of it there’s a lot one can do in a day. But still at 4 weeks I’m about losing it. Mentally I can feel the isolation. If you’re wondering NO I don’t go out of the house. I have food and neccesities delivered. Bills have been suspended in my country til lockdown ends. So I’ve been basically hauled up in my house all this time.
Our President just extended our ECQ for another month. Then recently announced he will not lift ECQ til a vaccine or immunity is found. Don’t know how long I can last til then.

 

[TooPatient]

Other than being sick, I am coping really well. I got sick Feb 22. Since then, I have been out of the house a total of maybe 7 times. One to the ER with DH, twice to get groceries, once to drop a check in a payment box outside a building, and the rest to the pharmacy to pick up prescriptions for DH. Funny thing is that except a couple of weeks in February, I have been mostly at home since the first week of September. The first month or two was hard, but now I am just chilled and not terribly worried except about DH.

I commented to DH the other day that I have been here on the couch watching the tree every day. I watched the leaves color and fall, snow cover the branches, bare sticks as everything else started to get leaves and flowers, buds start to form, and now the blooms are beginning to open. I love this tree. Watching it go through the better part of a year has been relaxing in a way.

I am attempting to finish my last two classes to finish my degree. I am also doing my yearly attempt to grow a veggie garden from seeds. We have a huge collection of books (23 bookcases with about 20 of them actually full) plus several bookcases full of DVD, Blu-ray, and UHD movies/documentaries/series. Between all that and the cats & dogs, plenty to keep busy. I just wish we were healthy as we have the lumber to replace the front porch and the rest of the back stairs already sitting here. We also have a bunch of work to do cleaning up the house and the yard including digging out the sprinkler system so it is ready to be replaced, digging a big trench behind the small retaining wall so the wall can be replaced, and using the blocks I got last summer to replace the pile of bricks that fell apart along the one garden.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I got up early today (I've been sleeping in rather late...) washed my shag area rug and sofa cushions. I am so happy that is done!

cheers--Sharon

 

[Babyblue033]

Someone at work mentioned that we are on week 5 of quarantine. Which made me think about how long I've actually been stuck at home since I was on short term disability right before sh*t hit the fan.

I'm on week 20 of being at home! Holy smokes, where's that bottle of wine?

 

[cmd2014]

I'm struggling today. There are a lot of layers to why this has been hard, but the one that is getting to me is that I'm self isolating with DH who is going through some mental health issues but who is not yet ready to accept any help. This is further complicated by the fact that he left me right after Christmas without any warning and with no willingness to discuss with me what was happening or why (and he wouldn't return my calls or texts or those from friends and family, and we eventually had to ask that a wellness check be done on him). While he did eventually agree to come home and try to work things out, it's still not clear whether or not we will be able to move forward from this. And I'm still working more than full time hours as I'm in health care and an essential service and expected to continue to provide continuity of care, even though I am now offering services remotely, while running the household and buying groceries for both myself and my husband's family (his parents aren't up to doing online grocery ordering so I'm doing my own order every 2 weeks and theirs as well).

So it's hard to try to remind myself to be grateful for the fact that the people I love are all safe and healthy when I'm exhausted and living with someone who is so entrenched in his own suffering that he can't pull his head out of his navel long enough to even ask me how I am doing. He also seems to want to blame me for everything that he is unhappy about in his life - none of which I had anything to do with, other than in his view, failing to support him enough (anyone who knows me would know this isn't true). I am starting to go for drives just to get out of the house for a little while. And I would never say this out loud because I know it sounds so selfish and awful when people are losing their lives and families are losing loved ones and our front line health care workers are heroically putting their lives at risk, but part of me is jealous of those who have the "pause" that the media keeps talking about who are able to learn a new hobby or binge watch netflix or face time with friends and family, because my life has turned into what feels like working 3 full time jobs (without certainty that I will be able to be paid). If I had to home school children right now I think I would crack.

I'm sorry to vent. I will be ok. I just needed to say out loud somewhere that it was hard (and why, as this is not something that I have been super able to be open about in my real life).

I hope you are all safe and well, and that your supplies are tiding you over. I know we are all in this together and we will pull through.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

@cmd2014 Thank you for sharing and working in essential services.

You have more than enough on your plate. What can I do to help?

kind regards--Sharon

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

@cmd2014 big hugs

Please don't apologise for anything you feel. I have never believed in the "But Xyz has it so much worse than you" game.

You feel what you feel and are entitled to your feelings. All feelings are valid. You are definitely having it tough you poor soul. Let us know if there is anything we can do.

Big big big hugs.

 

[missy]

@cmd2014 I am so sorry for all you are going though.

Sending you gentle (((hugs))) and good thoughts.

 

[redwood66]

@cmd2014 I am thinking of you and hope you receive some respite soon. And thank you for your work as well.

 

[TooPatient]

@cmd2014 sending you hugs. If there is anything you need, speak up. Vent here. Ask for a laugh. Anything.

 

[arkieb1]

I'm sorry @cmd2014 - my brother in law went through a mid life crisis, blamed my sister in law for all of his "issues" even down the the point of stating he never really was in love with her (they have had a long life and 5 kids together) and then had an affair with an old girlfriend from school.

They are still together and have been working through all of their (his) issues....

 

[Matata]

@cmd2014 sending gentle hugs. Please be firm with yourself and carve out as much guilt-free alone time as you need for self-care.