How angry would you be if....

[atroop711]

How angry would you be if your husband forgot your wedding anniversary? Your birthday? Mothers day? I find it fascinating how diff. ppl feel about these days

 

[Amethyste]

I would be memorably mad enough so that he would never forget one important date ever again

 

[cellososweet]

Anniversary- livid
Birthday-Angry

They are the same date every year. If he forgot I would be absolutely red-faced PO''d. Of course this is if everything was normal and status quo. If some life crisis was happening or he was ill or something like that, then of course I wouldn''t be upset.

 

[Lilac]

I don't think "angry" is the right word for how I would feel. I think it's more hurt. I would just feel really sad and hurt if he forgot to even say "Happy Anniversary" or "Happy Birthday" to me. If he forgot a present I wouldn't care at all, but if he actually just simply forgot about the day itself I would be deeply hurt and sad.

 

[Lauren8211]

I''m marrying a guy who is quite forgetful. That''s part of the deal.

I would not be upset at all, as I know it would never be intentional. I sometimes have to tell him not only the date, but the current YEAR!

I would, however, tease him about it, and he''d definitely make it up to me.

Forgetting is not an offense as punishible as knowing, and choosing not to acknowledge. If you forget, you forget! We''re all human.

 

[VegasAngel]

We can''t forget our anniversary or my birthday since they are on the same day. Every few years my birthday & our anniversary fall on Thanksgiving.

As for mother''s day I don''t care too much about it in regards to my husband.

To be honest I am bad with birthdays.

 

[Haven]

Date: 7/28/2009 10:19:27 AM
Author: Lilac
I don''t think ''angry'' is the right word for how I would feel. I think it''s more hurt. I would just feel really sad and hurt if he forgot to even say ''Happy Anniversary'' or ''Happy Birthday'' to me. If he forgot a present I wouldn''t care at all, but if he actually just simply forgot about the day itself I would be deeply hurt and sad.

Exactly. Big ditto, here.

 

[lucyandroger]

I''m with elledizzy - we''re all human! I know I would probably be upset if SO forgot my birthday or anniversary and vice versa so we remind each other.

I would never wait to catch him forgetting to then get upset over it. If SO didn''t bring it up right away, the morning of I''d probably say "here''s the birthday girl!" or "can you believe we''ve been together x amount of years today?" I know that both dates mean a lot to him and his forgetting would not mean otherwise - we''re busy people!

 

[CNOS128]

I wouldn''t like it, so I make sure it doesn''t happen. We have a shared calendar that has all important dates on it, and for like two weeks before my birthday or whatever holiday I mention it to him.

He''s a very forgetful guy, and he''s always enlisting my help to remember important things -- so I don''t mind giving him a few reminders here and there about things that are important to me!

 

[Luckyeshe]

Date: 7/28/2009 10:45:49 AM
Author: TheBigT
I wouldn''t like it, so I make sure it doesn''t happen. We have a shared calendar that has all important dates on it, and for like two weeks before my birthday or whatever holiday I mention it to him.

He''s a very forgetful guy, and he''s always enlisting my help to remember important things -- so I don''t mind giving him a few reminders here and there about things that are important to me!

I''m the same as you TBT. My FI isn''t that forgetful, but he remembers a special date and sometimes he just doesn''t mail gifts or cards in time....Since we''re LDR, he just ends up overnighting everything for me....

 

[elrohwen]

Ehh, I don''t think I''d be all that concerned. We actually talk about birthdays and things well in advance so we can plan to do something (usually we just go out to dinner by ourselves or with friends). We don''t do the present thing usually, but I told him I do like to get a card, so he''s good about that as long as I remind him. We also tend to celebrate things on whatever day is easiest, so if he forgot my birthday on Tuesday, but planned to do something on Saturday, I wouldn''t care. For us it''s just a relative time, not so much the exact day that''s important.

Basically, if I didn''t mention it or remind him, I wouldn''t be that upset if he forgot. If we had discussed it and he still managed to completely forget, I guess I''d be a little miffed.

 

[oneandahalfrock]

I''m actually the one who is bad about dates, no him... My birthday is easy to remember, he knows our anniversary, we have no kids, every year he makes a big deal about the holidays and finding me the perfect present...
But seriously, I''d probably get over it... it''s just another day- what does it matter if we go out do dinner a few days off, or I get my present early/late? We''re both very busy people and I can get over it

 

[littlelysser]

I guess what I don''t understand is that if the birthday or anniversary is so important, why not remind your SO of it? Remembering your anniversary and keeping it to yourself as a test for your DH seems kind of, I don''t know, like setting him up for failure!

I don''t think my DH could forget my BDay or our Anniversary...because we discuss what we''d like to do to celebrate, etc.

 

[gemgirl]

My husband doesn''t forget the dates, he just doesn''t do anything or plan any way to celebrate. I have to do it all, both for his birthdays and mine. Our anniversary is not a date that is gift worthy to him. So basically, all of our calendar days are about the same here.

 

[dragonfly411]

At this point, I''ve learned not to be too upset. My SO can''t remember his OWN birthday, nor mother''s day, his mom''s birthday, his sister''s birthday. He knows my birthday DATE but might forget it is coming up. He is completely forgetful of when our anni is. It''s just his nature though. We''re both kindof bad about it. I don''t do well with birthdays.

 

[trillionaire]

it would make me sad

I get very excited to celebrate our love (anniversaries), with birthdays being less of a big deal, but I get really excited about celebrating his birthday and making him feel special, so it would make me sad if he didn''t remember or make any effort for me at all. I just love giving gifts and doing special thing for him

 

[whitby_2773]

depends.

tim *did* forget our anniversary one year. he was swamped with work, very stressed, and i knew it had just gone right out of his head. he remembered it of his own volition about a week later, i pulled out the card/gift i had for him, he felt HORRIBLE, i said - don't worry about it, your plate is *full* and i know you love me anyway, and ever since i have figured as 'the best wife in the entire world'.

we moved to england in 2000, and tim went over 6 weeks ahead of me as i hadn't been well and was in the middle of a battery of med tests. just before i was to leave, he came back to help me close up the house and to bring me over. we were at the airport, surrounded by stuff, things having been hysterical for weeks, and he said 'let's check in then go to the frequent flyers lounge'. me - 'why? the plane goes in an hour.' him - 'yes, but we could go and have something to eat.' me - baffled - 'why do we want to eat? what's the point? the plane will be boarding 15 minutes after we get to the lounge! him - 'yes, but we could get something to *eat*.' me - completely baffled at this point - 'what on earth do you want to eat??' him - 'i was thinking we could have some champagne, and maybe some cake?' me - 'what on EARTH do you....ooooooooooooooooh.' (sheepish tone)

'happy birthday, tim. i'm so sorry.'

i felt TERRIBLE about that. forgetting an aniversary is as bad for you as for the other person cause it's the day which belongs to both of you. but to forget his ONE special day of the year...not cool. my 2 best girlfriends who were with us at the airport had also completely forgotten, so nobody had remembered. i always make a big deal of birthdays, so this was *really* unusual for me!

since those 2 occurrences neither of us has come close to forgetting our anniversary or birthday.

 

[atroop711]

thanks for answering..

As for me I would be hurt if my husband forgot our wedding anniversary (which is also my bday). I don''t think that I should have to remind a grown adult about a special day such as a wedding anniversary. I don''t care if we don''t exchange gifts but if he doesn''t get me a card and write something from the heart inside...that would really bother me.

I asked this question because I have a male friend who constantly forgets his wives bday and their anniversary. This year I didn''t remind him (I''ve just had a death in the family and neither did any of his other friends who usually remind him) and he missed his wedding anniversary. He''s pissed at us for not reminding him. I told him this is not my responsibility. He''s a grown man and should have it in his heart to remember such a special day. He cannot expect others to do the thinking, planning and caring for him...he needs to do it. He''s in the dog house and can''t admit that he''s at fault...not his friends. I told him with technology, all he has to do is put a reminder in his blackberry.

 

[zoebartlett]

I''d be ticked but there are worse things that can happen and I''d get over it pretty quickly.

 

[lovegem]

No particular feeling whatsoever.

I usually forget about those days too.

 

[Dannielle]

FI would never forget because I usually have a countdown going "Its our Anniversary next month/two weeks/next week/tomorrow/today

"

 

[rainwood]

I forgot our first wedding anniversary because there was so much going on so I''ve understood when things are just too busy for him. It doesn''t happen often but I''d definitely cut him some slack. I care much more that we treat each other well the other days of the year because that''s what makes your marriage successful.

 

[upgrade]

I''d be really hurt. And a bit dumbfounded since I (knowing how forgetful he is) always remind him of all upcoming occassions ahead of time.

For my first mother''s day my dh forgot me... but remembered his mother. It just didn''t occur to him that as the mother of *his* child, he should be acknowledging me on mother''s day- his response was ''but you''re not my mother.'' I had to explain that I was the mother of his child, however, and his child was only a few months old and therefore unable to get his little butt to the store to get me a card! All I wanted was a card- I wasn''t expecting a gift or flowers or anything like that. That one resulted in tears. He hasn''t forgotten again since.

Whitby- oh I feel for you! That must have felt awful to realize it was Tim''s birthday and you had forgotten. Granted, I think you had a pretty good excuse between being ill and moving. I think that would feel worse than being the forgotten one.

 

[tlh]

our anniversary is a date important to both of us...

my birthday, I'd be HAPPY if he forgot every year!

 

[QueenB29]

My DH could never forget my birthday or our anniversary as I constantly remind him of the dates like a month out. He does, however, forget everyone else''s birthday.

The way I grew up, birthdays were a big deal, and I always make a big deal out of his birthday, but he never does with mine. Sure, I get a card and a present and a cake, but he doesn''t try really hard to make the whole day feel special like I do for him. That always hurts a little bit. Just once I''d like him to bake me a cake instead of buying one.

He did once screw up Valentine''s Day. He didn''t get home from work until about 8:30, and was like, ''I was going to stop and get you flowers, but it''s late and I thought you''d just want me to come home.'' Meanwhile I had gotten him balloons and spent the entire afternoon baking him a cake with a heart on it. I was pissed, and was like "You really should have stopped." So he ran into the grocery store on the way to our very late dinner while I waited in the car and bought me flowers. But later, when I read the card, which he had gotten actually gotten ahead of time, I got really upset. He signed it "Love you, J." The way he signs cards to his mom and sister and whoever. I was so terribly hurt that he couldn''t have taken the time to write a couple sentences about what I meant to him. He couldn''t even figure out why I was upset.

 

[Linda W]

Date: 7/28/2009 12:50:32 PM
Author: tlh
our anniversary is a date important to both of us...


my birthday, I''d be HAPPY if he forgot every year!

Your first sentence, the same for DH and I.

Your second sentence LOL LOL LOL, that is the way I feel too.

 

[LilyKat]

I agree with elledizzy - if it''s an honest mistake, why be mad about it? We all forget things, including important things, sometimes, and some people just aren''t good with remembering dates. If I want someone to remember something, I just remind them. Simple.

Completely different story if they remember but choose not to acknowledge.

 

[swingirl]

Date: 7/28/2009 12:40:56 PM
Author: Dannielle
FI would never forget because I usually have a countdown going ''Its our Anniversary next month/two weeks/next week/tomorrow/today

''

Good plan. That''s the way it is at our house. Everything is talked about well in advance. No one needs to be tested to see if they remember.

 

[HollyS]

I''M THE ONE who does the ''forgetting''. DH would never allow an anniversary/holiday/remembrance go by without acknowledgment.

First year of engagement it was "Monthiversary" every month to commemorate our engagement. First year of marriage it changed to "Monthiversary" to celebrate to celebrate wedded bliss. Cards, or little gifts, or fresh flowers from the grocery; and he rather expected a little something from me about every other "Monthiversary". It was a tad exhausting. But sweet all the same.

No. He would never forget. I can''t see it happening.

 

[April20]

I wouldn''t be angry- but my feelings would be really hurt if DH forgot our anniversary.