His taste matters?

[Elegant]

I have been reading a few threads here and there and keep reading women talking about their e-rings and stating that they are compromising on what they want because their BF's or FF's don't like their style. Or the BF/FF doesn't care and choose whatever they want.

My questions is:

Does it really matter what HE likes?

 

[Mrs W]

My husband and I had this conversation, in the end its what would make me happy....although I did have this moment when nothing but a halo would do but that never happend bc he didn't like them bc he said they do not look like an engagement rings so I guess he changed my attitude about not wanting a halo...in the end he got me what I wanted but now I wished I would have just got what he 1st wanted to get me...a RB solitaire

so i guess yes, it does matter what he wants too.....he is not going to change my mind about getting a 1.5+RB one day thou

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 11/28/2008 2:51:30 AM
Author:Elegant
I have been reading a few threads here and there and keep reading women talking about their e-rings and stating that they are compromising on what they want because their BF''s or FF''s don''t like their style. Or the BF/FF doesn''t care and choose whatever they want.

My questions is:

Does it really matter what HE likes?

DH and I have very different tastes on the whole - which means that we have both had to learn to compromise. We are both very interested in design and he takes a huge interest in choosing everything for our house - choosing a table lamp can take us a long time.

99% of the time, the compromise piece turns out to be better than what either of us started off liking.

The same went for my e-ring. DH loves pave and channel setting so I have channel setting in my e-ring. He also wanted a blue or green stone - nothing yellow/orange/pink/red. Left entirely to me, I''d probably have gone for side stones rather than melee and possibly not a green centre stone.

As it is, we both love my ring and it means a lot that we both had a say in different elements.

So yes it does matter - up to a point. If he likes something you hate, or he hates your dream ring, then you need to find a middle ground that you both love.

 

[bee*]

There was a thread about this last month as well Does he have to love the ring?

Personally for me, it does matter that D loves the ring also. He''s extremely fussy with details and it did take a while for us to find a ring we both loved, but it did happen and it''s my dream ring and he adores it also.

 

[jcarlylew82]

Date: 11/28/2008 6:53:34 AM
Author: bee*
There was a thread about this last month as well Does he have to love the ring?


Personally for me, it does matter that D loves the ring also. He''s extremely fussy with details and it did take a while for us to find a ring we both loved, but it did happen and it''s my dream ring and he adores it also.

same here. at first i was under the school that it should be what i like. but more and more, i know his opinion matters too because i want him to be proud of it. plus, dang guy can pick out some nice settings!!

 

[Deelight]

Date: 11/28/2008 8:07:24 AM
Author: jcarlylew82

Date: 11/28/2008 6:53:34 AM

Author: bee*

There was a thread about this last month as well Does he have to love the ring?



Personally for me, it does matter that D loves the ring also. He's extremely fussy with details and it did take a while for us to find a ring we both loved, but it did happen and it's my dream ring and he adores it also.

Ditto, my FI is fussy as well and hates jewelery, well most jewelery so it was important for me for him to like my ring so there are elements of what we both want in the ring it takes both our taste into account.


I don't want him to look down at my hand and think OMG that this is ooogly

 

[Tuckins1]

IMHO, no. It''s your ring and you will be the one wearing it. (Of course, he has to be comfortable with the PRICE though.) My hubby could not have cared less what style I wanted. He was concerned with getting me a high quality stone... The rest was just a matter of my own personal taste.

 

[iheartscience]

I''m firmly in the NOPE! camp. If I''m wearing it, I''m picking it out. But to each her own, I suppose!

 

[Elegant]

I didn''t know this topic had already been posted - I tried looking but didn''t find it in my search, thanks for pointing it out.

My bf hates jewelery period, but when we talk about specific pieces (not so much an e-ring) that I want and want him to buy for me for special occasions, he picks and chooses what he likes a lot of the time.

We talked about an anniversary ring (we''ve been together 15.5 - not married), and I brought some pics to his attention and he told me that if I wanted a ring he would choose it, so I don''t know if what he likes matches my taste. He knows my taste fairly well as I email him pics of jewelery that I like.

I think a good point was made that two heads are better than one, and what an opportunity to find something you can work on together.

Overall I don''t think his opinion should matter so much - but I do understand him wanting to take pride in it.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 11/28/2008 2:51:30 AM
Author:Elegant
I have been reading a few threads here and there and keep reading women talking about their e-rings and stating that they are compromising on what they want because their BF''s or FF''s don''t like their style. Or the BF/FF doesn''t care and choose whatever they want.

My questions is:

Does it really matter what HE likes?

Yes. It does, if he cares. Granted, some men don''t give a hoot what they buy for you as long as you are happy. But some men will care, it will mean just as much to them as it does to you, and they want to be proud of that ring too. My DH had definite ideas about what he thought looked ugly, or tasteless, or boring, or gaudy, or cheap. And although we have some of the same tastes, I was surprised at some of his picks for the ''no way, Jose'' pile. But I didn''t feel as though that limited my selection; just that it ''refined'' the search.

If your tastes in other things are similar, you will find a style suits both of you.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Yes, it would matter to a certain extent because my DH would be paying for it. lol He wouldn't care about style, but would about size. He would rather have me spend a budget and get a few smaller pieces rather than a large rock. Luckily we both feel the same about that.

Just to point out - my DH is completely anti-diamonds, so I'd be lucky to have him offer to get me anything. The exception: when I got my earrings, he was very supportive and told me to get "the best," and that was because he was buying a hot tub at the same time.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

No, it does not matter to me. I mean, I don''t want him to get nauseous at the sight of it, but I am the one wearing it and that is what matters. I have asked my DH about this in the past, and he said what she wants is what matters.

 

[gwendolyn]

It matters to me that he will have some input in the ring because we call it ''our'' ring, since it symbolizes our relationship. He does have some pretty strong opinions about certain types of rings, but they all happen to be rings that aren''t my style anyway. My two top choices, the MWM Torchiere and Leon''s solitaire, are both his top choices too (except that he prefers the Leon a bit more and I prefer the MWM--of course, at first he couldn''t even tell the difference between the two

). I asked him if he wanted us to go with his favourite, and he said he didn''t care that much, as long as he didn''t absolutely hate it, he was happy with whatever one was my favourite.

 

[Babyblue033]

I wanted it all, while I wanted the ring that''ll make my heart sing, I didn''t want him to say "whatever you want honey" either

We chose my ring together and while if it was entirely up to him he probably would''ve chosen something different (our taste really differ greatly), what we ended up with was something that made both of us happy.

But then again, maybe all I''m saying is that his taste matters ONLY WHEN it agrees with mine

 

[Haven]

My husband didn''t really care one way or another, he really believed that if I was the one who was going to wear it, then I am the one who should like it. I suppose that is a personality trait that I value in a partner. I''m not sure I''d get along well with someone who had strong opinions about what I wore, and then tried to impose them on me.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 11/28/2008 8:13:11 PM
Author: Haven
My husband didn''t really care one way or another, he really believed that if I was the one who was going to wear it, then I am the one who should like it. I suppose that is a personality trait that I value in a partner. I''m not sure I''d get along well with someone who had strong opinions about what I wore, and then tried to impose them on me.

Yes! I agree with you 100%!

 

[radiantquest]

i wish that my husband would have given me more imput, but he kept saying that it would be on my hand for forever and that if it makes me happy it makes him happy. to answer your question i think it has alot to do with how you both feel about it.

 

[Elegant]

I agree, it does matter what both people think to some extent, but if I am going to wear it, I should like the thing...

The anniversary ring (which I still have yet to receive, even though our anniversary was in June! - that''s another story all together, complications, etc.) that I want, well, I haven''t decided and I am VERY indecisive, but he told me that I could just go ahead and buy what I like OR if I want him to buy it, he would pick what he wanted to pick... So that brings up another topic of is it really an anniversary ring from him if he says to buy whatever I want (we share a bank account)? I think I have an idea of what I want but I think I want him to get it for me. He hates jewelery and hates diamonds...

 

[mommy2iz]

i think many women (myself included) want to have their cake and eat it, too, so to speak. in a perfect world, you want him to get you a gift, but you want to be sure it''s what you like/want. it almost sets the poor guy up for a no-win situation. in reality, i think many men would rather just be told "i''d like this." saves them the grief of choosing something. doesn''t mean he doesn''t care; just that he ultimately wants you to have something you like, and doesn''t have a clue as to what that is.
what''s wrong with buying it yourself? if you share a bank account, it''s still technically from him. go get it, girl!
should his opinion matter? if you''re prepared to compromise, i guess it matters. if you want what you want, why bother asking? you''re only inviting heart-ache and drama. i''m in the "no" camp. it''s my ring. i wear it. i have to love it. i don''t want to look at it and think of the changes i wish i could make. i want to look at it and smile effortlessly. my husband cared about 2 things - that i was happy, and the cost. i''m happy, and he wrote the check.

 

[Maisie]

My husband kept saying he didn''t care... but then I would show him something and he would say ''ugh, no''.... so in the end I chose something he liked enough to say.. ''yeah thats ok''.

 

[Elegant]

Mommy2iz - I get what you are saying, and I can remember posting about - or did I just think about posting it - a topic about even if we do share an account, if I buy it, I don''t think it is really from him - kind of like I am forcing him to give it to me. But hey, it''s been 5 months since our anniversary and he hasn''t done it on his own yet - 15 year anniversary and nothing on my finger. So I think I will have to buy it myself, even though it doesn''t feel like it is from him - you know what I mean?

I don''t think i should matter if the bf or ff likes it or not because we are the ones wearing it - but this just goes for those guys who aren''t too involved in the process like designing it or trying to find the perfect stone.

 

[swingirl]

I think one thing that matters is how artistic or opinionated each of you are. If one of you really has good taste, a flare for design, or a love of jewelry their opinion might hold more weight. On the other hand if someone just wants a say so because they''re paying for it, well, that could be a problem.

I pick out my own jewelry and would not want to wear something that I didn''t like, was uncomfortable to wear or didn''t represent who I am. If you love antiques how could you stand to wear a tension-set ring and vice versa?

 

[mommy2iz]

i think you''ve been more than patient, waiting 5 months since the date is more than i could/would do. congrats on 15 yrs!!!! now, go celebrate + get yourself some bling!!!

 

[Fly Girl]

Agreed. I think the question isn''t about his taste, it''s about the delay. After about 30 years of marriage I realized it was o.k. for me to pick out my own jewelry. It just works out better for everyone.

 

[Kaleigh]

I''d want him to like it, but hey you are the one wearing it. He''s making you wait a long time, I''d get what you want and call it a day. But understand you want him to buy something with YOU in Mind, what YOU like. Maybe you should send him to us, we''ll be happy to help set him straight....

 

[strmrdr]

Well my opinion is if she don''t like what I buy I will just give it to my sis.
LOL
Hasn''t happened yet and I don''t think it ever will.

 

[swingirl]

Date: 11/29/2008 11:02:32 PM
Author: strmrdr
Well my opinion is if she don''t like what I buy I will just give it to my sis.

LOL

Hasn''t happened yet and I don''t think it ever will.

Storm, you''re definitely the kind of guy I''d let pick out my jewelry, ESPECIALLY the ASSCHERS!!!

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 11/29/2008 11:08:19 PM
Author: swingirl

Date: 11/29/2008 11:02:32 PM
Author: strmrdr
Well my opinion is if she don''t like what I buy I will just give it to my sis.

LOL

Hasn''t happened yet and I don''t think it ever will.

Storm, you''re definitely the kind of guy I''d let pick out my jewelry, ESPECIALLY the ASSCHERS!!!

Amen to that!!! You have excellent taste my friend.

 

[marcy]

I would say his taste matters. I might be wearing it but if it is something my husband doesn''t like then it kind of bothers me. Many times we''ve compromised until we found something we both like.

 

[BlueSki231]

I haven''t read what any one else says but I say NO!! He''s not gonna wear it, why does it matter?

I hear the whole "this is my dream ring but FI doesn''t like it so we''re looking at other styles that we BOTH like.." or something to that extent.
This doesn''t make sense to me, and I don''t care WHO is paying for the ring.

I''ve said this before.. If my husband-to-be chose a wedding ring that I personally thought was hideous, but he was absolutely in love with it, I would put my taste/preference aside and I would buy him that ring.
He''s the one that''s gonna be wearing it, why does it matter if I like it?
It would bring me great joy to give him the ring that he has had his heart set on and I would hope he''d do the same for me.