Does he have to love the ring?

[somehowcollide]

Fiance and I just *cannot* seem to agree upon how to set my oval center stone. We''ve come up with a compromise, of sorts, but it will have to be custom made. This design will combine an element that I love, with an element that he loves. But it''s kind of like this; just because I love peanut butter and he loves pickles, doesn''t mean that a peanut butter and pickle sandwich will taste good, yanno?

We''ve tried on tons of rings and styles and we simply have different preferences. In his defense, he is sticking to an original design that we BOTH liked when we initially started to try on rings. I, on the other hand, have changed my mind multiple times after finding this site (admittedly, my new preference leans towards BIGGER and BLINGIER!)

So my question to you is, how involved was your SO other in choosing your e-ring center stone and setting? Who did the buck end with? And really, truly, how much does his opinion matter?

 

[LaraOnline]

I find it very interesting to read of fiances who have strong - or, indeed any - opinions on the ring.
My man could not have cared if I had selected a pink quartz on a stainless steel ring...as long as I was wearing one (on the wedding finger!).
so, to answer your questions:

Q. how involved was your SO other in choosing your e-ring center stone and setting?
A. Not one skerrick!!! He did not visit a store with me (in retrospect, I think this was a mistake, he probably would have increased my budget, and bought me a ring I really liked)

Q. Who did the buck end with?
A. Me, me, me!

Q. And really, truly, how much does his opinion matter?
A. At the end of the day, not at all because he wasn't invested in the design of the jewellery in the first place. Although, I am sure he likes seeing me wear my wedding ring! He also likes it when I wear the jewellery gifts he gives me for Christmas and birthdays.

 

[somehowcollide]

Date: 10/8/2008 4:38:31 AM
Author: LaraOnline
I find it very interesting to read of fiances who have strong - or, indeed any - opinions on the ring.

My man could not have cared if I had selected a pink quartz on a stainless steel ring...as long as I was wearing one (on the wedding finger!).

so, to answer your questions:


Q. how involved was your SO other in choosing your e-ring center stone and setting?

A. Not one skerrick!!! He did not visit a store with me (in retrospect, I think this was a mistake, he probably would have increased my budget, and bought me a ring I really liked)


Q. Who did the buck end with?

A. Me, me, me!


Q. And really, truly, how much does his opinion matter?

A. At the end of the day, not at all because he wasn''t invested in the design of the jewellery in the first place. Although, I am sure he likes seeing me wear my wedding ring! He also likes it when I wear the jewellery gifts he gives me for Christmas and birthdays.

Hello LaraOnline! I am so glad you responded to my thread, as I have been wanting to tell you for ages that I love reading your posts. Your responses are always very honest and sensible; there''s no beating around the bush with you! You also seem to have a lot of compassion for others and that''s very heart warming. Your babies are cuties and your family looks gorgeous in your avatar!

I hope you soon get the ring of your dreams, as I think you are a patient woman who deserves it. I sometimes feel like my FI has too much input when it comes to my ring but I think I would be very disappointed if he didn''t have any opinion at all... Maybe I''m just confused about this being MY ring or OUR ring!

 

[LaraOnline]

Geez Somehow Collide (are you talking about stars colliding there?)
What a lovely thing to say to me! I''m really touched. I mean that. Thanks.
Can I print out the post?

I''ll put it on my fridge where my man can see...

At least with a ''hands-on'' man, they ''get'' the whole concept of the ring, and that whole aspect of the marriage.
Don''t get me wrong, my man loves being married, he''s a very warm and loving husband, I always feel that I come first with him. He''s a great dad.
And he HAS just bought me a beautiful house, which was pretty much a surprise for me. We''re still jumping through the banking hoops, and are hoping to move in at the end of the month!!

But... I dream of my ''proper'' engagement ring EVERY day!!! Gad, perhaps I should find another forum *sniffs* I feel like I might become the resident martyr or loser or something if I don''t get my sweaty little paws on my upgrade LITERALLY now!!!

He knows nearly nothing of this intensity of emotion, of course. I am a Lady in Waiting for an Upgrade. You know, the whole thing first came up for me when we were at a barbecue with the girls at work. One of them was getting engaged. He launched in to a jocular speech about the expense and drawn out process of my engagement ring!!!

When we got in the car to leave, I had to tell him straight - as lightly as I could, but still to the point - that, you know, it took me so long to get a ring because I had to find a really cheap one I liked! He didn''t believe me!!!

So I say - it''s fantastic that your man''s on board, because it means he''s invested in the process and more importantly will be prepared to pay for something beautiful. But at the end of the day, it needs to be a ring YOU will enjoy every day.

FWIW - and there are a million opinions, I am dreaming of a very simple solitaire. When I was first getting engaged, I thought solitaires were boring... but now I think they go with everything, and never look out of place. Which is what one would expect of a ring that is permanently welded to your finger, no?

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 10/8/2008 5:38:19 AM
Author: somehowcollide

Date: 10/8/2008 4:38:31 AM
Author: LaraOnline
I find it very interesting to read of fiances who have strong - or, indeed any - opinions on the ring.

My man could not have cared if I had selected a pink quartz on a stainless steel ring...as long as I was wearing one (on the wedding finger!).

so, to answer your questions:


Q. how involved was your SO other in choosing your e-ring center stone and setting?

A. Not one skerrick!!! He did not visit a store with me (in retrospect, I think this was a mistake, he probably would have increased my budget, and bought me a ring I really liked)


Q. Who did the buck end with?

A. Me, me, me!


Q. And really, truly, how much does his opinion matter?

A. At the end of the day, not at all because he wasn''t invested in the design of the jewellery in the first place. Although, I am sure he likes seeing me wear my wedding ring! He also likes it when I wear the jewellery gifts he gives me for Christmas and birthdays.

Hello LaraOnline! I am so glad you responded to my thread, as I have been wanting to tell you for ages that I love reading your posts. Your responses are always very honest and sensible; there''s no beating around the bush with you! You also seem to have a lot of compassion for others and that''s very heart warming. Your babies are cuties and your family looks gorgeous in your avatar!

I hope you soon get the ring of your dreams, as I think you are a patient woman who deserves it. I sometimes feel like my FI has too much input when it comes to my ring but I think I would be very disappointed if he didn''t have any opinion at all... Maybe I''m just confused about this being MY ring or OUR ring!

Somehow, I was literally just thinking the same thing! Lara, I always love reading your posts. You''re so sweet and kind and honest at the same time. Every time I come across a "Lara post," I look forward to reading it because I just know it''s going to be a good one. You should be Australia''s official ambassador to the US!

Somehow, to answer your initial questions, DH was not very involved at all in the selection of my e-ring. He had mentioned to me many times that he wanted to get engaged, but he just didn''t think he could afford to buy me a "nice ring." I told him that didn''t matter to me, and he could propose with a 25 cent ring out of a gumball machine for all I cared. But, he insisted that he wanted to "do it right." I was in no hurry at all, and he was the one who really seemed anxious to get engaged, so I didn''t really give it any more thought for a while. But, then I was trying to sell my engagement ring from my first marriage, and I was on eBay one day trying to figure out if I could sell it there and, if so, how much I should list it for. In doing this research, I came across a BEAUTIFUL ring that was well within our ability to afford. So, I talked to DH (BF at the time) that night, and told him that, if he really was serious about wanting to get engaged, I had found a ring that I loved that we could easily afford. I showed it to him, and he liked it. He said, "Buy it quick before someone else gets it!" LOL!

I think he just wanted me to have a ring that I loved. But, if he had really not liked it, I think I would have started looking for something else that we both liked. I wouldn''t want to wear a ring that DH absolutely hated, but I would expect to get the final say since I''m the one who has to wear it. Does that make sense?

And he does have an opinion when it comes to my upgrade. We''re planning to upgrade my e-ring for our fifth anniversary in 2010, and he really wants me to get a solitaire. Which is fine with me . . . I think that''s what I want anyway. I do plan to keep my current e-ring, and will just start wearing it as a right hand ring after I get my solitaire.

 

[vespergirl]

My husband "helped" me pick my ring, but in the end, I think that''s why I ended up upgrading & changing my center stone.

He originally wanted to get me a 2 ct RB in a Tiffany solitaire setting. I thought "too boring" and wanted an asscher, but I liked three-stone settings or micropave, like the Tiffany Legacy. Well, we looked at asschers because that''s the shape I liked, but we ended up going with the solitaire setting he liked, because that way we could put all of the budget towards the center stone. I wanted sidestones, but he kept saying that he thought they detracted from the center stone.

Anyway, a few months down the line, I was really missing sparkle on my finger - I didn''t like the look of an asscher in a solitaire, I guess. Our jeweler has a lifetime trade-up policy on the stone, but not settings, so instead of resetting my asscher, I decided to just trade to an RB in a solitaire setting.

It''s funny, because I''ve now ended up with the ring that my husband would have picked, and now that I have it on my hand, I love it. But originally, it was the joint input that made me not love my first ring. I think that you should just pick something that YOU love. I don''t know the situation, but if the reason he''s looking for a simpler setting = less money, than maybe you can get a slightly smaller center stone and a blingy setting. Some of the blingy settings I had liked were around $5K, so that''s a big chunk of money to add to an ering right away.

Or, maybe you could just set your oval in a solitaire temp setting for now and then upgrade the setting for your first anniversary.

 

[mimzy]

we definitely had different ideas about what we wanted in a ring when we first started looking - he liked three stone rings, rounds or princesses, or solitaires. i had my heart set on an emerald cut (which he hated) and a halo (which he also hated).

our situation might have been a little different because when i tried the rings on he could see that my preference of ring really did look better on my finger. he still didn''t really like the look of it, but he had to admit that his ring didn''t look quite right.

in the end he figured out how much i really didn''t like the look of his ring and sucked it up and picked out a ring (on his own) that was essentially my dream ring. i do catch him looking at it now and then and he admits that he really likes it now. i lucked out big time though...despite him being adamant about strongly disliking my choice in the beginning, he eventually chose what i had wanted. if your BF insists that he needs to like the ring just as much as you, and you can''t convince him otherwise, suck it up with a smile and just stare at the center stone, blocking out everything else

(assuming you get to choose the center stone and he gets to choose the setting?)

whether it''s *your* ring or *our* ring is sort of up to you as a couple. it sounds like he''s prefer it to be an *our* ring....and i agree that it''s nice that he cares! especially if he is footing the bill for the entire thing - if not, you might have some more wiggle room!

but i''d keep looking for inspiration settings that you both love and see if you can come to an agreement on the final custom project. good luck!

 

[April20]

My DH gave me two options when we started talking about e-rings.

1. I could give him ideas of what I liked/disliked, he would do the shopping and surprise me OR

2. We would choose the ring together.

I chose to have us do it together. After the first initial outing to look at "styles", he realized how picky I was (am) and how much he didn''t know about shopping for e-rings. Okay, okay, so he pretty much refused to try and find anything on his own after shopping with me and trying to decipher my very long, very confusing list of likes and dislikes.

He loves the ring I ended up with- it''s very "me" and I''m the one that found it. I don''t know that it''s what he would have chosen if he was doing it on his own, but at the end of the day, he wanted me to have something that I truly loved.

 

[KimberlyH]

DH and I selected my center stone together, I chose the settings I wanted to try on and he liked my favorite, but if I hadn''t and I didn''t find one I liked better I would have selected it anyways. We''ve been married for a couple of years now, and were engaged for a bit less than a year prior to getting married and he never looks at my rings, unless I ask him to hand them to me, or we go get them replated/cleaned. I would say you need to love it, and he needs to be understanding of that.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I chose my setting, he chose my center stone. My DH doesn''t sound as involved or picky as yours but I know he doesn''t like solitares and loves step cuts. Could he pick your wedding band just so he has *some* say in it?

 

[NewEnglandLady]

My feeling is that if your boyfriend/fiance/husband loves the ring *you* want, then that''s fabulous. If not, it would be ideal to incorporate some things that he does love, so long as you are 100% happy with it. If my husband and I were really disagreeing over settings, I''d probably find a center stone we both loved, then would buy the setting myself, so he didn''t have to buy something he didn''t like...but I don''t have a traditional view of an e-ring (I prefer that it be a joint decision and purchase, which is a better representation of most couples today), so my opinion may not fly for some men.

I don''t think most men are picky...so long as their SO loves the ring, that is what is most important. That being said, I really did want for my husband to like my ring. I was lucky that my husband admitted to liking the geometrical pattern of a step cut over a brilliant cut (because that was non-negotiable, haha), but really wanted for him to choose the setting. In the end he found that to be overwhelming and we were able to work together and both loved the final result.

Good luck, I know that this process isn''t always easy! I thought I was going to just get an eternity band and be done, haha, but it does take some compromising if you both have ideas in your head of what kind of ring you want.

 

[geckodani]

DH picked the stone, I picked the setting. Well, the new setting, he presented it to me in a temporary and it took me 3 years to pick something new.

I think he should be involved, and I wouldn''t (and didn''t) get something that I knew he hated, but at the end of the day, I''m the one that has to wear it every day. He agrees that it''s ultimately my decision.

Like I said though, I do ask and respect his opinion on the process.

 

[girlie-girl]

I knew I didn''t want the everyday ring that all the other girls around here are wearing so I searched online looking for something that ''spoke'' to me. During the search is when I came across radiant cuts and fell in love with them. I showed them to my then BF and he loved them too. Step 1 accomplished. After many more searches I had come up with several setting styles that I liked and I showed them to him. We really liked the split shank Danhov ME10 but were unsure how it would actually look in person. We then found out a local B&M was an authorized retailer, so we called down there to see if they had the ring in stock. Of course they didn''t (which in hindsight is good

) but offered to call one in for us to come and look at, along with several radiants and a couple cushions.

So we set an appointment to visit the store later in the week once the setting arrived from Danhov. When we saw it on my finger we knew it was perfect for us, even though it had a 2ct emerald cut CZ set in it at the time. I didn''t want a stone of that size and frankly didn''t like the look of it anyway (lucky for him LOL), I really had my heart set on something around 1ct. After staring at the ring for a few minutes, the sales lady brought out the stone she had for us. The poor cushions didn''t stand a chance as they were both H and it seems we are color sensitive, loving the icy whiteness some diamonds exhibit.

The radiants were all Ds and Es so the cushions looked extremely warm in comparison. We knew we wanted a D or an E rectangular radiant and the Danhov setting when we walked out of the store.

That''s about when I found Pricescope and its associated vendors. I searched and searched through radiants at JamesAllen and Abazias. We ended up having Abazias send us two stones for inspection and when we opened up the wrappers we were both instantly in love with one of them.

Step 2 accomplished.... finally. We purchased the setting from JA and sent the diamond to them to be set. Danhov actually made my ring in proportion to my diamond and ring size, it''s gorgeous!

Long story short, I did the research and all the weeding out, but in the end we decided on the setting and stone together. He still tells me often how much he loves my ring and how much it suits me. I''m happy that he feels the same way as I do about it, I would feel sad if he didn''t. We also set the budget for the ring together as our finances were already melded and I tend to be quite practical (lucky for him again LOL). At the end of the day the only thing that matters is that it works for the couple involved. All of us are different and therefore our relationships are different, and what might work in one may not in another.

Good luck! I truly hope you''re able to get the ring you both love.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

My husband designed my ring, and after getting my hypothetical approval on the CAD, he tucked it away to keep until the day came to propose.

He loves the ring, and I''m glad that I love it, too - but, honestly, he''s not going to wear it for the rest of his life - I will!

 

[puffy]

we both looked at rings together. he found out what i liked and what looked decent on my finger. he then proceeded to get the ring. but when he proposed, hr said that i had 1 chance to change anything about it, the setting, the diamond, but i liked it just fine. of course, the 1 chance expired, but the more i look at it, the more i LOVE it, and realize how lucky i am. maybe you guys can compromise. something you like, something he likes?

 

[Diamond*Dana]

My husband picked my ring all by himself. The only thing that I told him was that I wanted a pear in a solitaire. He went shopping with his mom, at a shop that was very popular with her coworkers, and he chose a diamond that was in another setting and they put it in a solitaire...that was it!

I was pleasantly surprised with the proposal and the ring, and everyone was happy. But my DH has always said about all my bling "You are the one that has to wear it so get what you like".

When we were talking to our jeweler friend about my three stone for our tenth anniversary, my DH left it all up to me.

When it comes down to it...I do think that the one buying the ring should be happy with what they are spending their money on, but I think that it really boils down to what the person wearing the jewelry wants.

 

[hibiscus]

Hi Somehowcollide,

Initially, I didn''t have any involvement with choosing the center stone and setting at all. Perhaps, he wanted to surprise me 100% (surprise, surprise, if you remember my earlier posting, anyway). I recall him asking what I would like for a ring (a solitaire in any cut) but it turned out he got me a three stone setting.
Personally, I wish he had got me involved, it would mean a lot. So now, I have the ring I wanted, I was involved so I''m totally satisfied.

His opinion counts but than again, its an opinion, you''re the one who will be wearing the ring. You make the choice. That''s my humble opinion.

 

[Elmorton]

We picked the ring out together in every sense of the words. Luckily, when DH saw an EC he understood why I love them, so we agreed on the center stone. Choosing the setting was a PAIN. I first liked 3-stones, but I didn''t like how they looked in our budget. I fell in love with a cathedral setting with channel-set baguettes. DH didn''t like settings with sidestones, so we went back to the drawing board. When we found my setting, we still waffled back and forth, but eventually decided on the setting. If I were picking out a ring just for me, I may have picked something else, but I love that my ring reflects a compromise of both DH and my tastes. For the w-band, it was so hard to find something that I liked that DH basically put aside what he liked so I''d be happy, and DH listened to what I liked when he picked out his band as well.

 

[bee*]

It was important to me that D loved my ering as much as I did. We looked at so many rings in four different countries and couldn''t find anything that we loved as much as the one that we got. I love that he loves it as much as me.

He is an architect though so detail is very important to him with everything.

 

[Tuckins1]

My husband could not possibly care less as to what ring I got. I told him what shape I liked, and gave him a few options for setting designs that I liked, and he went with it. The only thing he did on his own was choose the size and quality of the center stone. Of course, he probably would have harassed me if I chose a setting he thought was ugly, but that would be my problem, not his!

 

[iheartscience]

I picked out everything myself. My fiance liked different styles than I did, but since I was the one who would be wearing it, his opinion didn''t carry much weight!

I really think that since you''re the one who''s wearing it every day, it needs to be your style, and something you love. If he doesn''t like it, he doesn''t have to wear it!

 

[deegee]

My husband absolutely didn''t care what I picked out. He just wanted me to be happy with whatever I got!

 

[somehowcollide]

Ladies, thank you so much for your thoughtful replies, they've really got me thinking. I am not surprised to hear that the process was quite unique for each couple..

LaraOnline Hello again dear! I think a solitaire will suit you perfectly. I used to think they were boring too, but post PS I realize they are the ultimate in class and elegance. I'm looking forward to sharing in your happiness once you receive your upgrade!

Hey Irishgrrrl! I also love reading your posts! You always have something nice to say to everyone and take some time and thought in posting your response. What a great stroke of luck that you were able find a ring that the two of you loved and well within your budget?! If only we could all be so lucky. I'm not surprised to hear that you too will be upgrading to a solitaire. Once you have a gorgeous, new, upgraded e-ring AND a RHR, do you think you will still lust for more rings? Who are we kidding, of course you will

!

vespergirl, you've brought up a point that really resonates with me. In the end you ultimately loved the ring that your DH thought suited you best. I know that if I forced him, FI would go with whatever I wanted. But once I got the ring, I think I would end up disliking it. His loving or appreciating something makes ME love it and appreciate it more. This has got me leaning toward the idea that this is more OUR ring, than it is only mine... We don't have a cap on the setting budget. I actually want the simpler setting, and he wants the more ornate one. I think the solitaire route is out, though. He proposed to me with a Marquise solitaire, and I'm ready for something blingier Thanks for sharing your story vespergirl. You always have a no-nonsense approach, and I appreciate your trimming the BS and giving it to me straight!

OMG mimzy your FI sounds like mine. Except mine is perhaps more anal and unyielding! He drives me crazy. He's extra picky and stubborn and settles only for "perfection." I've turned this into a positive though, because HE PICKED ME! So I must be state-of-the-art perfection, right

? He's got good taste, and he knows jewelry (his family is in the business), so I trust his opinion. But, hello! I'm on PS and therefore, I am ultra-jewelry educated and know better! We've gone to try on rings and our tastes still waver. As stubborn as he is though, he's also very honest. He doesn't dislike anything just because it's not his idea. For instance, I originally wanted rose gold and pink diamonds in my setting. He thought I was crazy, and "hated" it. But once he saw it on me, he thought it was gorgeous. Now I'm having a hard time convincing him to nix the rose/pink combo! *Sigh* Anyway, your happy ending does give me some hope!

April20 your hubby sounds sweet, romantic and PATIENT! It's great that you were able to hold the reins in this situation. Unfortunately, when it comes to ring shopping I have no idea what that is like..! Seems like you two were able to strike the perfect cord in finding your ring. Thanks so much for sharing, and Hey! welcome to Pricescope, hope you'll post more often, I love this community.

You know what KimberlyH? I really admire your approach to this situation. And I wish I could be as assertive as you suggest. It's just that the ring does mean a lot to my fiance. And I imagine that if it turns out the way we have envisioned, he will admire it often; actually, regardless of how it turns out, it will be something that he will look at and appraise all the time. KimberlyH, if your DH's approach/interest was more like my FI's, do you think you'd take his opinion into greater consideration? As it is, it sounds like your hubby's dream ring is the one that makes you happiest!

Tacori E-ring sounds like you and your DH were able to find the perfect compromise! For my original e-ring I choose the Marquise stone and FI choose the solitaire setting. For the oval center stone in question, FI choose the center stone and we've sort of muddled over the setting. Unfortunately, in this case, we decided to do an engagement ring AND a wedding ring. So there is no hope for my getting a wedding band anytime soon. But I've already picked a gorgeous Simon G band out, and fortunately, FI loves it too! BTW, I know you hear it all the time, but your daughter is WAY TOO CUTE! She looks quite young still, but her features are amazingly defined. Good luck to fighting off all the suitors once she is old enough!

NewEnglandLady I'm happy you commented, you always bring a new perspective to the table and I really appreciate that. It's so much harder than I imagined, and most days I just want to be selfish and tell him to piss off (I'm not even British, and I'm not quite sure how profane it is to tell someone to piss off, but it sounds tamer than f-ing off, right?

) I think if I attempted to buy my own setting FI would admire my asserting my independence, but would also be bummed that I kind of took away that "pleasure" from him. And I really wouldn't want him to be stuck looking at a ring he absolutely disliked. Anyway, we've recently decided to join our finances so it technically comes from the same place ... I think though, that you hit the nail on the head, it is all about compromising. I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed and hope that our "compromise" creates a lovely end product!

geckodani, I kind of want you to never set the stone 'cause it looks so awesome next to the gecko in your avatar!! I can't believe it took you THREE YEARS! I have been following your story, and I love happy endings

. In your case, it certainly seems like the buck ends with you. Which is how it seems for most couples. I'm not sure where the buck ends in our situation.. Probably with me, but I am not ready to exert that authority. I guess a part of me will not be happy unless HE is happy too. But, as you said, what's most important is that we respect one another's thoughts and opinions and we've been pretty good about that!

Hey there girlie-girl! Your ring buying process is like a fairy tale story! I LOVE radiants, they are so gorgeous and very unique. I've searched for them before and they are also very hard to find. You also got amazing color! I am really torn between icy white stones and warmer stones. There is nothing like the brilliance and perfection of a white stone, but the yellower tones compliment my skin tone and give the stone more personality IMHO. I hope in the future that I will be able to purchase at least one colorless stone. I think a smaller round would be ideal. Anyway, I really appreciate your support. I've really learned that every couple is different and that there is no perfect way to go about this. It helps a lot to see how other women have handled this. Thanks so much for sharing your story, I still have a lot to consider

LaurenThePartier first of all I am sooooo upset that I am missing the DFW GTG! Seems the approach that you and your husband took was perfect for you guys. Weren't you impressed that he was able to put it together so ideally on his own?? I think I feel the same way as you, I really want him to LOVE it, too. But ultimately, I am the one who will be wearing it everyday. On the other hand, is it selfish of me to want it "my way or the highway"? Should it be 50/50? 70/30? 98/2? Whatever ratio you and your DH had was perfect, because I love your ring! Too bad I won't see it in person

!!

How cool puffy! I've never heard of a guy who has done that! If FI gave me one chance to change something, I'd probably end up with a whole new ring! But there was one thing you mentioned that really matters to me; I want to have a ring that I love more and more every time I see it. I really hope that the ring we end up with will have that effect. Oh, and who's the cutie patootie in your avatar?

Diamond*Dana your hubby sounds like a romantic. A part of me wishes that I never had any say in this ring and just let FI surprise me with something he found spectacular. I am confident that if I did that, I would probably love the ring. Because anything that he put his time and love into would be very precious to me. Of course, being a part of PS has kind of changed that feeling. Ignorance is bliss, and this process would be so much easier if I didn't know about all my wonderful options. BTW, I love your three stone ring, the proportions are perfect

Heyyy hibiscus thanks for stopping by! Your ring is like my Marquise's big, beautiful sister. I hope that my stone will one day grow up to be as lovely as yours, hehe

. I remember your story and appreciated that you shared the ups, downs and PERFECT ENDING with us. I think I may take the "hibiscus" approach and if for some reason I am unhappy with my ring, I will get a new one that is twice the size

All joking aside, I respect your opinion as I know it comes from someone with experience. You know, I have another connection with you, the name of the first school I attended was called Hibiscus Elementary. I remember it fondly, lots of great memories. Talk to you soon dear!

I've probably told you this already, Elmorton but I freaking love me an EC! It's my favorite center stone by far. So elegant. I think you know what it feels like for us, because we keep going back and forth too. Since nothing that is ready made resonates with the both of us, we'll have to go the custom route. That's going to be a PAIN too, because I won't know exactly how it will come out until it is 100% done. *Sigh* Anyway, you took the words right out of my mouth when you said If I were picking out a ring just for me, I may have picked something else, but I love that my ring reflects a compromise of both DH and my tastes. That would be ideal for me, and I hope that my FI and I are able to choose something that makes us as happy as you and your DH are!

Hey bee*, I don't really care about your ering, could you just tell me more about your Manolo's

? Just kidding, I really do admire your taste in shoes and jewelry! Anyway, I thought it was super cool that you said your DH is an architect. My fiance's family builds homes, and while he didn't go to school to learn architecture, I always tell him (and he always agrees) that it would be the ideal profession for him. He is very attuned to minute detail and design. You should see some of the crazy spreadsheets he creates! A lot of people think he's too nuanced, but it kind of turns me on! Perhaps you'll be able to empathize, as I have a very picky man too. It's a blessing and a curse right? But of course, I am relying on his great attention to detail because I think that it will help create a great ring for us. Well, that's the plan anyway.

Hehe, I like the way you handle things Tuckins1! I'm actually surprised that there weren't more posts like yours. I just assumed that most men got their women whatever she asked for. Who knew that so many guys were that involved with the jewelry buying process? I bet you are very happy with what you ended up with, and as a result I bet that makes your man very happy as well. Ultimately, that's all we want right? Just to be happy? Of course, it's not easy being content when you see all the gorgeous rings on PS on a daily basis.. Thanks for sharing your story

 

[Sabine]

Ohhh, I just have to say, I actually LOVE peanut butter and pickles sandwiches!

(covers head as you all throw things at me). Sorry, I started eating them after watching Bobby eat them on the Brady Bunch!

As for the ring, I would consider if your FI is the kind of guy to notice jewelry on a regular basis. My DH had a few opinions on my ring, although he never really noticed ANY jewelry I wore before. I asked him if he would notice my ring after I wore it for a while, and he admitted that he wouldn''t, so he stopped giving input unless I asked for it. But if your FI is the kind to really care about that stuff, I would say to try to compromise, but still make sure you get something you will love to look at for the rest of your life!

 

[radiantquest]

i have two comments for you.

1) he said that i can choose since i am going to be the one wearing it forever. it was nice of him. he wanted an asscher, but once i explained that that stone faces up the smallest he figured i knew what i was talking about and let me do the picking

2) peanut butter and pickle sandwiches are good. it keeps the pb off the roof of your mouth and gives it a little kick. try it sometime you might be pleasantly surprised.

 

[somehowcollide]

Hey there thing2of2 I almost always agree with your posts, and I think if I were more objective, or if this wasn''t my personal dilemma, I would say the same thing as you! I''m going to try and use some of the advice from other posters and try to reach a compromise. Hopefully with elements that the both of us won''t mind looking at every single day!

deegee I expected lots of women to say that their husband didn''t care either way! I always imagined that my fiance would be similar but that''s not the case. I was very close to being engaged in a previous relationship. And he didn''t give a rat''s booty what kind of ring I picked. But then again, I would have probably bought something from a maul store, and it would have probably been 1/3 of the quality of my ring-to-be. The guy was also 1/3 of the man that my FI is, so I guess I''ve upgraded in every way

!!

LOL Sabine you and radiantquest have me CRACKING UP! This is PS, I should have known that there would be someone on here that liked PB&P sandwiches! Wow, I think I just may try it after all..! You girls are craaazzyy. But both of you have boys that seem to be happy to defer to you (and honey, that''s the way it SHOULD be.) And radiantquest I think your logical reasoning makes sense. That appeals to a lot of boys, a little common sense and logical. I may just try that strategy!

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 10/8/2008 8:45:25 PM
Author: radiantquest

2) peanut butter and pickle sandwiches are good. it keeps the pb off the roof of your mouth and gives it a little kick. try it sometime you might be pleasantly surprised.

haha that''s funny!
Love this forum! Best of luck, somehow collide!!
Oh, and Irishgrrrl, I love you too!

I might have to take a small break. I woke up this morning dreaming of putting the darn thing on a cc!

 

[bee*]

Date: 10/8/2008 7:53:41 PM
Author: somehowcollide



Hey bee*, I don''t really care about your ering, could you just tell me more about your Manolo''s

? Just kidding, I really do admire your taste in shoes and jewelry! Anyway, I thought it was super cool that you said your DH is an architect. My fiance''s family builds homes, and while he didn''t go to school to learn architecture, I always tell him (and he always agrees) that it would be the ideal profession for him. He is very attuned to minute detail and design. You should see some of the crazy spreadsheets he creates! A lot of people think he''s too nuanced, but it kind of turns me on! Perhaps you''ll be able to empathize, as I have a very picky man too. It''s a blessing and a curse right? But of course, I am relying on his great attention to detail because I think that it will help create a great ring for us. Well, that''s the plan anyway.

Oh I definitely empathize-D has an attention to detail in EVERYTHING! He''s the only man I know that is really interested in the actual little details of the wedding. He''s worse than any woman I know!! That sounds like it would be an ideal profession for you friend!

lol....what do you want to know about the shoes

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 10/8/2008 7:53:41 PM
Author: somehowcollide

vespergirl, you''ve brought up a point that really resonates with me. In the end you ultimately loved the ring that your DH thought suited you best. I know that if I forced him, FI would go with whatever I wanted. But once I got the ring, I think I would end up disliking it. His loving or appreciating something makes ME love it and appreciate it more. This has got me leaning toward the idea that this is more OUR ring, than it is only mine... We don''t have a cap on the setting budget. I actually want the simpler setting, and he wants the more ornate one. I think the solitaire route is out, though. He proposed to me with a Marquise solitaire, and I''m ready for something blingier Thanks for sharing your story vespergirl. You always have a no-nonsense approach, and I appreciate your trimming the BS and giving it to me straight!

Hi somehowcollide! I just wanted to tell you that I LOVE your marquise, and I''m sure that however you set the oval, it will be gorgeous. My mom has a marquise for her ering, and to me that was always the most glamorous and elegant ring - the pic in your avatar is stunning!

Also, I know that the last thing you need is another opinion on setting your oval

but I have a girlfriend who''s ring is a one carat oval with pear sidestones, and to me it looks like a celebrity ring - full finger coverage and absolutely stunning. She got engaged after me, and when I saw her ring I was like, hey, I wish I got sidestones!

Let us know what you end up choosing - I can''t wait to see it!

 

[Kelli]

He wanted sidestones. I did not. I don''t have any. He''s happy ''cause I''m in love with my ring