High School Reunions and such.........

[jaysonsmom]

My husband's 20th High School Reunion is coming up, and it's started a debate at our place, I want your opinion on this.

1) Would you or have you attend(ed) any high school reunions
2) Would you get glammed up, for the reunion
3) Would you bring your SO if they did not attend the High School and didn't know anyone?

 

[JewelFreak]

I've been to both h.s. & college reunions -- went reluctantly & had an absolute ball. So much more fun than I thought it would be. I'd say 20 yrs is the earliest reunion I'd want to go to -- time enough for people to change from what you remember. They DO change -- grow more interesting. Very few brought spouses or SOs, boring for them, and you have to spend time making sure they're happy instead of talking to people you might like. Take pics of them with you instead.

Don't know how glammed up you mean. I wouldn't get a nose job or something just for a reunion. Beyond getting my hair cut & maybe buying a new blouse, I didn't do anything special.

I do recommend going, even if you didn't enjoy h.s. Everyone has grown so much, it's really really fun.

--- Laurie

 

[stephbolt]

I attended my 10 year reunion this past fall. I wasn't really super excited about it and honestly wouldn't have gone if one of my best friends hadn't been planning it. I'm in touch with people from HS I want to be in touch with, and can spy on the rest via facebook.

As to what I wore/would wear - would depend on the venue. Ours was a drinks and apps event, and was in a private room at a casual restaurant, so I wore a sweater dress. Most people were dressed pretty casually. But from what I can remember of the reunions my parents went to when we were growing up, some are more formal.

My husband came with me, as did most of my friends' husbands. But I am still very close with nearly a dozen friends from HS, and we all hang out with spouses regularly, so DH knows all of them and didn't need me to stick close the entire time. Plus ours was held the day after Thanksgiving and we had traveled to my hometown for it, so his other option was hanging out with my parents.

 

[Autumnovember]

I'm only 6 years out of HS but....

We did have a 5 yr reunion and I didn't go. I feel like now that most people have facebook it changes things. The people I'm still in touch with from HS are all my good friends...those I'm not in touch with, I choose not to be =]

I will go to my 10 year probably and I would definitely bring my SO.

Would I get glammed up? I wouldn't say "glammed" up but I'd dress like I usually do when I go out to a nice place.

 

[jaysonsmom]

My husband is going in 2 weeks. He's been working out and in training mode (trying to look his best) for the past 2 months!
I was "invited" to go with him, but he said it in such a way that I felt I wasn't really wanted there, so I declined.

The way he put it: It's going to be at a casual restaurant, and it's $50 a person for yucky food....do we want to spend $100 to hang out with people you don't really know?

Anyway, I was totally okay with him going with a group of his guy friends (most of them are single guys, some divorced, some sowed their wild oats, and never got married), but my co-workers made me paranoid yesterday, asking me why my husband wouldn't want to show me off? AND on top of that, he's trying to look his best for the event, so there's someone there he's trying to impress.....Am I being a drama queen or is this normal behavior.

 

[LGK]

I wouldn't go to a HS reunion if you paid me money to do it.

I'd say it all depends on your HS experience- if you had loads of friends and loved it at the time, sure, go right ahead and go to the reunion. If, like me, you didn't have friends in your graduating class, why bother? I don't keep track of any of my class- literally all my friends were two years ahead of me. The people I actually graduated with I barely knew; it was a huge, huge school and my graduating HS class was larger than the entire college I went to (500 people more or less).

In terms of dressing up and bringing a spouse? Well, I'd definitely bring my spouse- he'd just want to come with. I think that would totally depend on your guy- mine would want to be included, I'm sure others would prefer a root canal, y'know?

And getting glammed up? For sure, if you can do it without feeling self concious if nobody else does (which is an art form I cultivate carefully). I do routinely for no reason anyway- I'm always happy to overdress for anything and love it- so yeah, I totally would and I'd not care a bit if I was the only one in a vintage dress, with my hair up and in 3" heels. So I can't really even relate to should-I-dress-up-or-not, because I'll always opt for yes YMMV!

 

[iota15]

I went to a reunion and was happy I did it. You'll talk to some people you never spoke to in high school.... and find they grew up to be not boorish/snobby/hot headed/whatever and actually quite nice people in general. Some people will come in a group that they've hung out with since HS and effectively not speak to anyone else.

Either way, it's one thing to see people on facebook. It's quite another to interact with them. A distinction I think that's often overlooked. Overall, I had a great time. It was great to catch up, get to know, smile, laugh - get info on your favourite and not so favourite teachers - and have a drink or two with people who you do have some type of mutual history with.

 

[rosetta]

I probably wouldn't bother as I wouldn't have much in common with them.

I'm still in touch with high school friends, and we visit each other when we are in each others countries (we are scattered all over the world)

 

[Sabine]

Dh and I are attending our 10 year reunion this saturday! Very appropo timing

So obviously I would attend.

Our reunion is at a minor league baseball game (blech) and is basically a picnic, along with the fact that I'm 31 weeks pregnant, so no glamming up for me. If it was a formal event, I probably would have bought a new dress that was as flattering as possible on my huge belly, but that would probably be it.

Dh and I went to the same hs and have a lot of friends in common who are going as well. If we didn't, I might be more hesitant to go.

 

[kenny]

I would rather have my skin peeled off than go to a reunion.

 

[tigian]

I went to my 10 year reunion a couple years ago.
My DH did not go with me.
I dressed nicely, but definitely not glammed up. There were definitely people who were "dressed to impress." (short skirts, super high heels, tons of make-up)
Jaysonsmom, does your DH put a lot of effort in his appearance for events in general? For whatever reason, a red flag came up when I read your post regarding your DH and working out to look his best. It is most likely harmless and of course you know your DH best, but I have heard of 2 separate people rekindling with their high school sweetheart at their reunions, both leading to divorce and re-marriage. (I'm sorry for putting a damper on things.)

 

[Anastasia]

I have attended my 5, 10, 20 and 25 year reunions, and am currently on the committee planning my 30th. So the answer to question #1 is obviously yes!

The 5 year seemed a little silly, as we hadn't progressed too much at that point. The 20th was the most fun, but I can't pinpoint why.

DH has come to the 10, 20 and 25 with me. I'm not sure if he will attend the 30th. We do hang with some of the couples, and he knows a fair number of people that I graduated with. He has worked with a fair number of my classmates over the years. (We grew up in the same area, but we didn't go to the same school, and he is six years older than me, so it is surprising that he knows as many people there as he does.) If he didn't know many people, I would probably attend by myself.

And heck, yes I glam it up! Not over the top (like the girl who showed up in a zebra striped gown to the 20th!), but I try to look my best. I love to get dressed up.

I am always surprised that I enjoy the reunions as much as I have.

 

[Dancing Fire]

My husband's 20th High School Reunion is coming up, and it's started a debate at our place, I want your opinion on this.

1) Would you or have you attend(ed) any high school reunions
2) Would you get glammed up, for the reunion
3) Would you bring your SO if they did not attend the High School and didn't know anyone?

yes,then you can introduce him to your Ex BFs...

 

[Hera]

Jaysonsmom, I think it's somewhat normal behavior to want to look your best at a function like a high school reunion. I guess it's vain but I'm sure he's not the only one out there that wants to. Maybe it's a reminder that he's let himself go a little bit. I would have a talk about it and see what he says.

My 10 year high school reunion was pretty fancy on the Queen Mary in Semi formal dress. I was practically forced to go with my best friend.I did bring my husband that didn't know anyone but almost everyone brought a date. It still felt the same as high school

 

[jaysonsmom]

I went to my 10 year reunion a couple years ago.
My DH did not go with me.
I dressed nicely, but definitely not glammed up. There were definitely people who were "dressed to impress." (short skirts, super high heels, tons of make-up)
Jaysonsmom, does your DH put a lot of effort in his appearance for events in general? For whatever reason, a red flag came up when I read your post regarding your DH and working out to look his best. It is most likely harmless and of course you know your DH best, but I have heard of 2 separate people rekindling with their high school sweetheart at their reunions, both leading to divorce and re-marriage. (I'm sorry for putting a damper on things.)

For big events, yes. For eg, if we had a Carribbean vacation or Vegas planned (where you tend to lounge around with not much clothing), he'll go into "training mode" for those too. He'll up his workouts to add more days at the gym, cut out carbs, go shopping for some new clothes (boy, he sounds vain)....but I guess we both do it, just more him than me.

I know he's reconnected with lots of people through Facebook, and they are all talking about seeing each other at the reunion. He does not hide the fact that he's happily married on FB, in fact he always states how much he's missing the wife and kids when he's travelling. I'm not so much worried about "HIM". I'm worried about the ruthless single women who GO AFTER devoted family men.

 

[packrat]

We did an 11 year and almost everyone came, w/spouses and kids. Park for lunch on Saturday (those that golf did that after that) and then that night we met in the town we went to school for supper and then there's a Fireman's Ball every summer and most of us went to that and hung out. I didn't want to go. I was unpopular and different most of my school years until 11th/12th grade my different-ness faded a bit..the fact that my different-ness mattered did, I should say, I stayed odd. JD reminded me I didn't go to school w/anyone who ended up famous or cured cancer or anything so who cared? I was almost down to my pre pregnancy weight, I got a couple new outfits and did a spray tan. We brought London, who was about 8 mo at the time, to the park and she thought it was fun, checking everyone out. It was actually a weird feeling, seeing people I'd spent 13 years of my life with again after 11 years..was like nothing had changed. I still hammed it up to get laughs and it felt comfortable to be around them. I made a bee line right for my group of friends of course but still visited w/the popular ones-and event THE most popular girl and boy all 13 years cheesed out and rushed up to hug me when I came, so I figured past is past you know?

 

[zoebartlett]

1. I've never gone to my HS reunions. My 20th reunion is next year (huh, I just realized that), and I don't have plans to attend. I have a few close friends from HS that I keep in regular contact with. Otherwise, I use FB to catch up with others or see what they've been up to lately when I want to.

2. If I did go, I'd dress up for the event as if I was going to a wedding, but I don't think I'd go through any extra effort beyond that.

3. If I was going to a reunion, I'd love to bring my husband along but I'm not sure he'd want to go. We didn't go to the same high school, and he hates small talk. He's kind of shy, and I know he'd feel really uncomfortable being in a room full of people he wouldn't know. I'd probably ask but if he was reluctant, I'd bring my friends from HS and we'd have a girls night out.

 

[isaku5]

DH and I went to my 25th reunion (DH graduated 2 years before and didn't attend his. Why?? I dunno). Anyway, we dressed up to look as spiffy as we could, but there were very few classmates there. We did the meet and greet (a few teachers too), but left soon after. At best, it was an underwhelming event.

 

[zoebartlett]

My husband is going in 2 weeks. He's been working out and in training mode (trying to look his best) for the past 2 months!
I was "invited" to go with him, but he said it in such a way that I felt I wasn't really wanted there, so I declined.

The way he put it: It's going to be at a casual restaurant, and it's $50 a person for yucky food....do we want to spend $100 to hang out with people you don't really know?

Anyway, I was totally okay with him going with a group of his guy friends (most of them are single guys, some divorced, some sowed their wild oats, and never got married), but my co-workers made me paranoid yesterday, asking me why my husband wouldn't want to show me off? AND on top of that, he's trying to look his best for the event, so there's someone there he's trying to impress.....Am I being a drama queen or is this normal behavior.

I don't think there's anything to worry about. I wouldn't read much into your husband's behavior.

 

[Dancing Fire]

how come i feel so old when i read this thread?...

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I have zero interest in going to mine...with FB and Twitter, I keep in close touch with everyone I'd go to see anyway.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

I went to ONE of my reunions and believe me, that was enough.

Husband goes to, and sometimes helps organize, reunions from his HS and college. I generally let him go by himself as I don't want him to worry about me--whether I'm having a good time, or am bored or what ever. I did go to a big number reunion {his} and got all glammed up and surporisingly it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

I was a "hippie" in HS and not a part of the in crowd and am not really interested in keeping up with my former classmates.

 

[swingirl]

My husband went to his and I had absolutely zero interest in going along and meeting the people he went to school with whom I'll never see again. I didn't need to be shown off.

Save the money you'd spend on a new outfit and ticket and buy yourself a little jewel!

 

[jaysonsmom]

how come i feel so old when i read this thread?...

DF what Reunion are you coming up on?

 

[jaysonsmom]

My husband went to his and I had absolutely zero interest in going along and meeting the people he went to school with whom I'll never see again. I didn't need to be shown off.

Save the money you'd spend on a new outfit and ticket and buy yourself a little jewel!

Good Advice! I had no interest in going until my naughty co-workers started planting evil thoughts in my head.

 

[texaskj]

how come i feel so old when i read this thread?...

I know how you feel. There was a small billboard on my way to work in May announcing a 30-year reunion for a local high school and I realized my 30-year reunion is this year! Thanks a lot.
I've never been to any of mine. I live almost 900 miles away, so I'm not really keen on wasting vacation time and money to see a bunch of people I don't care about. My class was around 425 and we were pretty sick of each other by the time we graduated.
And never in a million years would I drag a spouse or SO to one.

 

[Black Jade]

I was at all my HS reunions except the one that happened when my father was dying, and the last one (we had illness in the family).

I like them because I like the people at my high school and had a great time there and the reunions tend to be at fun places and to be interesting.

My husband doesn't like to come. I don't think this is so much becasue he doesn't know people as that he is annoyed that HIS high school never had reunions and the people are not close. They've only ever had one reunion there and we went and the turnout was small and there was no one there he knew. they only write him asking for money. Anyway, he actually does know a fair amount of people at my high school reunions because a lot of them went on to college with me (and me and my husband met at college).

I like him to come because first of all, I like his company, and second of all, I like to show him off, and third of all--there are alwyas a few people who are there for the wrong reasons. I would suggest you stay away if a) you felt slighted back then and want everyone to see that you are now hot. In spite of all the tv programs on this subject, all you are showing people is that you haven't gotten on with your life and that you are insecure. b)those were the best years of your life and you want to relive them as much as you can. the people who are most interesting to meet at reunions have a life NOW. c)you have an irresisstible urge to tell someone that you knew back then how much you admired them (but were too shy to say so). This CAN work out well. I know people who remet at high school and college reunions years later and got married. Well--sometimes it works out well. My sister remarried not one but TWO guys from her high school days (not at the same time) and they were both disasters. She is divorced from both now--and actually has to pay one alimony. There is a man I knew who seemed happily married until he met the cheerleader of his fantasies again at a high school reunion and tossed up wife and kids because she paid him some scant attention now. Seriously, this is true. I dont' know how he and the cheerleader are doing now but he sure left a mess behind him. But chances are probably that the person you are thinking about won't still won't be interested in you and/or will think you are really silly. I have had guys walk up to me and start with how much they admired in me in high school and how they couldnt' say anything back then and all I can think is, you shouldn't say anything now. This has not, obviously, happened 'all the time'. But more than I liked (once would really have been too much. Really. I'm not such a hottie either then or now--people's memories of the past can be deceiving from then, and from now, I think darkly lit places and as mentioned before, the wine, can have a bad effect on certain people. One guy, can you believe this, actually dragged his poor wife over to see me and introduced us by saying to me, "Isn't she beautiful? I think she looks like you."
Or something to that effect. Goodness it was embarrassing and I was so SORRY for her. (She was very gracious, considering).
The only good reason to go to a high school reunion is because you want to see people you haven't seen in years and have a good time reconnecting for an evening, because you are secure and comfortable RIGHT NOW.

I personally can't think why you wouldn't want your spouse

 

[Dancing Fire]

how come i feel so old when i read this thread?...

DF what Reunion are you coming up on?

let just say...before you were born ..

 

[Dancing Fire]

I was a "hippie" in HS and not a part of the in crowd and am not really interested in keeping up with my former classmates.

..the Woodstock era??..you got a few yrs on me...

 

[Dancing Fire]

Jaysonsmom, does your DH put a lot of effort in his appearance for events in general? For whatever reason, a red flag came up when I read your post regarding your DH and working out to look his best. It is most likely harmless and of course you know your DH best, but I have heard of 2 separate people rekindling with their high school sweetheart at their reunions, both leading to divorce and re-marriage. (I'm sorry for putting a damper on things.)

... i'm sure J'smom feel much better now...