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Hi

Oh Kenny, I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend - sending you lots of support and comfort as you make your way through this tough time in your life.
 
My dad made tapes to his mother (who had gone blind in her old age) with me when I was a very young child (under 5). I have no memory of them, but a relative found them in a garage and sent them to me a few years ago. It's probably 10 cassette tapes total. My DH converted them to mp3 for me. I have only listened to 1 - I sang the ABCs and my dad told his mother about how I was doing in pre-K. It's too hard to listen to and my dad has been gone for 11 years. I feel better that I have them and it's my choice to listen to them, but I don't know if I ever will.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief just sucks immeasurably.
 
I am so sorry Kenny. Death does suck. I am so sorry you are hurting.

I don't have audio tapes but we have lots of VHS tapes with family members who are no longer with us. I can't watch them. I can't even look at photos of my children when they were little without becoming a puddle, so I don't even go near the tapes.
 
kenny said:
Coming up for air.

Hope y'alls are doing well.
I hope to get back to posting daily.
I've missed you all a great deal.

My lifelong best friend (not my SO) has died of cancer.
It has totally knocked me off my feet.

Shit!
Death sucks.
Death is the worst!

We get used to living.
Taking living for granted seems automatic, stupid but automatic.
Though it's not rational, absurd even, somehow we unconsciously function as though living is just permanent.

I totally get why so many religions invent the myth, the ultimate comfort, eternal life.
If only ...
Click to expand...

I am so very sorry to hear your friend died. Please take care of yourself: grief is exhausting.
 
I am so very sorry, Kenny. To this day, I am unable to even look at photographs of loved ones who have passed away without intense grief.
 
Nothing to add other than thinking of you and wishing it wasn't so. I guess I'll always be grappling with why life is not fair sometimes.
 
Kenny, I am so very sorry for your loss. Sending gentle hugs to you....
 
Sorry keeny for the loss of your beloved friend. You ask about seeing images or recordings of our deceased loved ones. For ME I'm so grateful to have them of my Dad. Yes, it makes me sad to watch, a bittersweet experience. It also fills me with love. It brings my daddy back to me. Maybe in time for you too.
 
So sorry for your loss, Kenny. And very sad indeed for your friend's elderly mother, it must be unbelievably painful to live such a long life and outlive your child.

I don't have any recordings of my beloved grandmother although I really wish I had. She died long before the advent of the smartphone and the easy access to video and audio that we have now. Your tapes are precious and while they make you sad just now I bet they will be a source of comfort in the future.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss Kenny. I can't imagine having tapes to listen to. I think I have sometimes forgotten my mother and father's voices. I still remember my brother's voice. I can't look at any family photos, years later. I can't look at my mom's most cherished thing, which was her china set. It's been in a box for many years, and I don't expect to look at it ever again. You are brave, and strong, and I know you'll manage because you've been through so much, but damn, everything seems unfair in life sometimes. I'm so sorry. I will be happy to see you posting again. I haven't had the heart to spend much time here without seeing your posts. I hate change so much. Take care!
 
Thank you all for your kind words and support.
It's crazy, we are all just words on an Internet forum yet these relationships can become very real and precious, especially to us introverts.

A word about old tapes.
Even if you can't bring yourself to hear/watch them yet, you must transfer them a digital format ASAP.
Then put them on your computer.
Then make a couple back ups on those thumb drives.
Maybe even keep one thumb drive at work or in a safe deposit box, in case of fire.

Magnetic tapes (audio or video) deteriorate with age.
Eventually the signal fades.
The mylar tape itself gets more fragile and may snap when you try to play the tape.
On the rolls the tape may stick to itself.
Then when the machine tries to transport the tape it can wrap around the machine's mechanism and require a trip to the repair shop, plus it may ruin part of the tape.

Magnetic tape can be spliced but it's a hassle to do it correctly.
Better cassettes had screws you just remove to open the cassette.
You have to drill or pry/crack open the cases for the cheaper ones.
Then you can move the reels of tape itself to a newer high quality case you opened with screws.
Huge hassle, but the memories on old tapes may be priceless to you.

I have 3 cassette tapes I have to repair to retrieve precious content.
I spend years stationed overseas in the US Navy in the 70s.
I formed a singing group with 2 very talented dependent high school girls.
We sang at events and the USO.
Those tapes are a real hoot to listen to in my old age.

But get y'allz tapes converted ASAP!
Lots of good youtube videos on how to do this.
 
I teach guitar.
I also have nice recording equipment and my 15 yr old student loves recording his favorite songs.
The recording process meshes nicely with teaching music.

One of my students is 74 and in poor health.
He plays only for is wife and family gatherings.
He makes up charming songs on the spot that he'll never play again.

She loves it.
She'll miss hearing him.
I imagine tapes of him singing would be precious to her.

I'm trying to get him to let me record him.
He declines my repeated invitations.
He's too shy or lacks self confidence or something.

I invite suggestions ... How I can twist his arm without crossing a boundary or being macabre?
 
Kenny, I also recall you speaking of your friend here before. I'm so sorry for her loss. I do know the pain of losing a close friend and it is a very deep one; I have also thought that death is the one time I wouldn't mind having the comfort of religion (but I just can't go that route, personally).
 
Kenny, if I were you, I'd just talk to your student's wife and ask her to ask him if she can record him. I would imagine he'd listen to her.
 
Kenny, I am so very sorry for the loss of your best friend. Gentle {{{Hugs}}}.
 
I am very sorry, kenny.
 
I couldn't listen to such recordings if I had them. Pictures are the same ... I hardly have any and took decades to look over them. I am so sorry to hear of your going through this ...

Re. 'arm twisting' - perhaps the recording could be billed as a present ? Anyversaries & such are song material.
 
I know I need to get the tapes transferred. I have a cute video of my youngest who is now 21. When he was in pre-school at the end of the year they had a little program. He went to preschool with Christopher McDonalds little girl Rosie. She was such a pistol. As the kids were singing, he was mouthing 'Where's my mommy", and Rosie was turning around and giving him the evil eye over and over. It was hilarious. I would like to see that tape again. Hopefully, we can very soon get them transferred to digital. Thank you for the reminder, Kenny.
 
I used to ***hate*** having my picture taken. Seems like my eyes were always shut! But now since I've come to realize these are memories for my kids (adult) and my grandbabies, I'm happy to be photographed. I want to be remembered by my loved ones, just like I love to see my lost loved ones on film. I hold it dear in my heart! I do understand those that find it too painful.
 
I'm so sorry to hear that Kenny. I've got some friends whom I couldn't imagine life without, they are more family than some family we have.

Take a break as long as you wish, you know where to find the rest if us in this rat-race!
 
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. It's painful on many levels, not the least of which is that it forces you to confront your own mortality. Take care.
 
I am so sorry Kenny. I'm so sorry it hurts so much. I'm sending you a gentle hug. Do what you need to do to get through each day.
 
Oh Kenny, I dont even know what to say. You've just been bombarded lately. I know you could use a break. I hope that you have time to re-center
yourself and start feeling better. I hope in time that you can appreciate all of your memories of Jane without feeling sad. Keeping you in my thoughts.
I know its not an easy time for you.
 
peace, brother
 
I'm so sorry for your loss.

Glad to see you back!

Hugs xxx
 
Kenny I am SO sorry to learn of the death of your friend. My deepest condolences.

I can attest that I wish I had more video and recordings of my late husband. :)
 
I'm so sorry for your loss, Kenny. I wish you great strength and peace during this difficult time. ::Big hugs for you::
 
I remember you telling us about your friend. She sounded like an amazing woman and I am truly sorry it didn't turn out differently.

Thanks for the heads up about the tapes. My mom had cancer in the early 90's and my dad bought a video camera so that she could record messages for us. After several years of treatment, she was finally given the all clear and we did a huge family trip with my parents and grandparents. She taped over the videos on that trip. A month later grandpa died in an accident while we were visiting. My mom was so happy to have those videos of him enjoying life. I need to save them.
 
Thank you all for the support and your friendship.
 
We've missed you, Kenny, and I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.sad :((

(You might be wrong about the myth thing, just sayin.)
 
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