Hello All,
First, my apologies for the overly dramatic caps in the subject line.... I have heard wonderful things about this forum and I have nowhere else to turn to right now.
I am a 32 y/o man in NYC, who moved here from Boston to be with his longtime GF. I made that move because, after spending some time apart while she was away grad school, I KNEW that I was ready make the ultimate step: marriage. Well, upon moving to NYC I entered what will probably remain to be the worst period in my professional life. After all but being promised a rather lucrative position with an organization, the process mysteriously fell apart and the position went to another candidate. This is no big deal by itself, however over the next 1.5 years, I would be a finalist for dozens of positions (between 20-30 that came down to me or one other person), and a candidate for even dozens more. All told, I came up short on about 50-60 positions. before I came to NYC I had NEVER not been offered a position that I had actually interviewed for. Needless to say, this period REALLY screwed up my confidence, my self image, and began seriously eroding our relationship. I was increasingly depressed, angry, moody and everything else that goes with it during this time (i.e. I was a real bastard), but this woman stood by me and loved me as best she could--better than I loved myself actually. In the meantime, her career began to take off.... and I now realize that I secretly resented her for it--well, not really, but my 'resentment' only masked the hurt ego and self pity I was wallowing in.
We went through our problems during this time. Me finally hitting bottom and just not having the desire to keep going. She getting upset and frustrated with me because she knew I was capable of so much more...and she expected more from me....She DESERVED it, quite frankly.
Now, I am a slow mover by any definition, and she has stood by me through thick and thin, and I have always loved and cherished her, and thanked God for her presence in my life. But I now realize that I had (and have) also taken her for granted. I thought (deep in the back of my mind) that she would just wait for me to come around, get over my fears of loss, disappointment, and committment, and take the "leap" with her. But last week I found out that I was wrong.... I was devastated to hear from her that she felt we needed to be apart as she had grown angry and resentful that we have not yet married. She didn't like what these feelings and thoughts were doing to her, and she felt I needed to be on my own so that I could figure out what I want and how to get it. She felt that I was not making any positive movement towards marriage...and she was right (I hated to admit to myself). She assured me that she loves me and that she hopes we can move forward together, but that she just can't go on like we have been.
I love this woman with everything that I am, and I've been so hung up on my own stupid pride that I've lost sight of what is most important. I've been waiting until I had 'enough' stability and 'enough' money to provide buy just the right engagement ring, but I now realize that all she ever wanted from me...all she ever needed from me was ME. I didn't realize just how lucky I was, and now I have the task of convincing her that I don't have to be 'set' financially, and that I AM ready to fight together... to struggle together...to make a life together..... I believe everything will work out in the end.
I knew what I wanted to get for her, but that may have to wait for an anniversary. I was hoping if I described what I am looking for here, that someone may have some ideas about where I should start looking for a reasonable alternative as I know NOTHING about stones and cuts and clarity and all that good stuff. I apologize for such a long post and thank you for your patience with me. I'll look forward to any advice. With that said, here's a description of what I think she'll like:
* Three stones, all emerald cut (Center stone: Natural blue sapphire; [smaller]side stones: diamonds)
* Platinum band and/or setting (I'm not sure if they're the same thing)
* she has very small hands (well at least compared to my oversized paws) but her ring size is 6 1/2 - 3/4 (if that matters)
Thank you!
- TubaSlug
First, my apologies for the overly dramatic caps in the subject line.... I have heard wonderful things about this forum and I have nowhere else to turn to right now.
I am a 32 y/o man in NYC, who moved here from Boston to be with his longtime GF. I made that move because, after spending some time apart while she was away grad school, I KNEW that I was ready make the ultimate step: marriage. Well, upon moving to NYC I entered what will probably remain to be the worst period in my professional life. After all but being promised a rather lucrative position with an organization, the process mysteriously fell apart and the position went to another candidate. This is no big deal by itself, however over the next 1.5 years, I would be a finalist for dozens of positions (between 20-30 that came down to me or one other person), and a candidate for even dozens more. All told, I came up short on about 50-60 positions. before I came to NYC I had NEVER not been offered a position that I had actually interviewed for. Needless to say, this period REALLY screwed up my confidence, my self image, and began seriously eroding our relationship. I was increasingly depressed, angry, moody and everything else that goes with it during this time (i.e. I was a real bastard), but this woman stood by me and loved me as best she could--better than I loved myself actually. In the meantime, her career began to take off.... and I now realize that I secretly resented her for it--well, not really, but my 'resentment' only masked the hurt ego and self pity I was wallowing in.
We went through our problems during this time. Me finally hitting bottom and just not having the desire to keep going. She getting upset and frustrated with me because she knew I was capable of so much more...and she expected more from me....She DESERVED it, quite frankly.
Now, I am a slow mover by any definition, and she has stood by me through thick and thin, and I have always loved and cherished her, and thanked God for her presence in my life. But I now realize that I had (and have) also taken her for granted. I thought (deep in the back of my mind) that she would just wait for me to come around, get over my fears of loss, disappointment, and committment, and take the "leap" with her. But last week I found out that I was wrong.... I was devastated to hear from her that she felt we needed to be apart as she had grown angry and resentful that we have not yet married. She didn't like what these feelings and thoughts were doing to her, and she felt I needed to be on my own so that I could figure out what I want and how to get it. She felt that I was not making any positive movement towards marriage...and she was right (I hated to admit to myself). She assured me that she loves me and that she hopes we can move forward together, but that she just can't go on like we have been.
I love this woman with everything that I am, and I've been so hung up on my own stupid pride that I've lost sight of what is most important. I've been waiting until I had 'enough' stability and 'enough' money to provide buy just the right engagement ring, but I now realize that all she ever wanted from me...all she ever needed from me was ME. I didn't realize just how lucky I was, and now I have the task of convincing her that I don't have to be 'set' financially, and that I AM ready to fight together... to struggle together...to make a life together..... I believe everything will work out in the end.
I knew what I wanted to get for her, but that may have to wait for an anniversary. I was hoping if I described what I am looking for here, that someone may have some ideas about where I should start looking for a reasonable alternative as I know NOTHING about stones and cuts and clarity and all that good stuff. I apologize for such a long post and thank you for your patience with me. I'll look forward to any advice. With that said, here's a description of what I think she'll like:
* Three stones, all emerald cut (Center stone: Natural blue sapphire; [smaller]side stones: diamonds)
* Platinum band and/or setting (I'm not sure if they're the same thing)
* she has very small hands (well at least compared to my oversized paws) but her ring size is 6 1/2 - 3/4 (if that matters)
Thank you!
- TubaSlug
300x240.png)