Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

HELP PLEASE!!!!

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.

TubaSlug

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 11, 2009
Messages
6
Hello All,

First, my apologies for the overly dramatic caps in the subject line.... I have heard wonderful things about this forum and I have nowhere else to turn to right now.

I am a 32 y/o man in NYC, who moved here from Boston to be with his longtime GF. I made that move because, after spending some time apart while she was away grad school, I KNEW that I was ready make the ultimate step: marriage. Well, upon moving to NYC I entered what will probably remain to be the worst period in my professional life. After all but being promised a rather lucrative position with an organization, the process mysteriously fell apart and the position went to another candidate. This is no big deal by itself, however over the next 1.5 years, I would be a finalist for dozens of positions (between 20-30 that came down to me or one other person), and a candidate for even dozens more. All told, I came up short on about 50-60 positions. before I came to NYC I had NEVER not been offered a position that I had actually interviewed for. Needless to say, this period REALLY screwed up my confidence, my self image, and began seriously eroding our relationship. I was increasingly depressed, angry, moody and everything else that goes with it during this time (i.e. I was a real bastard), but this woman stood by me and loved me as best she could--better than I loved myself actually. In the meantime, her career began to take off.... and I now realize that I secretly resented her for it--well, not really, but my 'resentment' only masked the hurt ego and self pity I was wallowing in.

We went through our problems during this time. Me finally hitting bottom and just not having the desire to keep going. She getting upset and frustrated with me because she knew I was capable of so much more...and she expected more from me....She DESERVED it, quite frankly.

Now, I am a slow mover by any definition, and she has stood by me through thick and thin, and I have always loved and cherished her, and thanked God for her presence in my life. But I now realize that I had (and have) also taken her for granted. I thought (deep in the back of my mind) that she would just wait for me to come around, get over my fears of loss, disappointment, and committment, and take the "leap" with her. But last week I found out that I was wrong.... I was devastated to hear from her that she felt we needed to be apart as she had grown angry and resentful that we have not yet married. She didn't like what these feelings and thoughts were doing to her, and she felt I needed to be on my own so that I could figure out what I want and how to get it. She felt that I was not making any positive movement towards marriage...and she was right (I hated to admit to myself). She assured me that she loves me and that she hopes we can move forward together, but that she just can't go on like we have been.

I love this woman with everything that I am, and I've been so hung up on my own stupid pride that I've lost sight of what is most important. I've been waiting until I had 'enough' stability and 'enough' money to provide buy just the right engagement ring, but I now realize that all she ever wanted from me...all she ever needed from me was ME. I didn't realize just how lucky I was, and now I have the task of convincing her that I don't have to be 'set' financially, and that I AM ready to fight together... to struggle together...to make a life together..... I believe everything will work out in the end.

I knew what I wanted to get for her, but that may have to wait for an anniversary. I was hoping if I described what I am looking for here, that someone may have some ideas about where I should start looking for a reasonable alternative as I know NOTHING about stones and cuts and clarity and all that good stuff. I apologize for such a long post and thank you for your patience with me. I'll look forward to any advice. With that said, here's a description of what I think she'll like:

* Three stones, all emerald cut (Center stone: Natural blue sapphire; [smaller]side stones: diamonds)
* Platinum band and/or setting (I'm not sure if they're the same thing)
* she has very small hands (well at least compared to my oversized paws) but her ring size is 6 1/2 - 3/4 (if that matters)


Thank you!
- TubaSlug
 

atroop711

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
2,844
is this the look you are talking about?

http://www.sndgems.com/platinumsapphirediamondringsj.htm
 

TubaSlug

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 11, 2009
Messages
6
atroop711,

That is EXACTLY the look I''m talking about.... but I''d only have about $500-$700 (possibly $800) to spend. I''m not too knowledgeable about pricing (I have just paid real close attention to what she seems to like over time), but that seems to be more than I could put together in just a few weeks. That look, though, now that I see it IS her.... I would love to find a way to make that look/style happen, but at this point I''m ready to go to a bubble gum machine if need be.....

Thank you for the link though. I will start exploring from there.

- TubaSlug
 

AWicker

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 23, 2009
Messages
52
Ok, I couldn''t find anything in your budget that met your description exactly, but I did find a few diamond and blue sapphire rings that you may like. Also keep in mind that all of the rings I''m posting from Ross-Simons are an additional 20% off right now.

Here they are:

http://www.ross-simons.com/products/282306.html

http://www.ross-simons.com/products/164699.html

http://www.ross-simons.com/products/166718.html

http://www.overstock.com/Jewelry-Watches/14k-Gold-Sapphire-1-2ct-TDW-Diamond-Ring-I-I1/3053807/product.html



and here is a simple, pretty wedding band:

http://www.ross-simons.com/products/137857.html
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
56,002
I just wanted to tell you that I LOVED your post! Truly, it is so sad to read all the posts on our Ladies in Waiting forum hearing how some girls have been waiting for YEARS for a proposal from the one they love! I wish ALL those guys would just read your post! The girls really do not care if you wait til you have a big salary or house or savings account!!! If you can afford to live together, what''s the big deal about making the commitment and getting married?!!!

Now for a reality check. You''re not going to be able to get the ring you are describing for the budget you have in mind. A platinum setting alone is going to run that much, unfortunately. Buying second hand might be the only way you could get anywhere near that. I''ll take a look around, but I am thinking you may have to wait and get her that ring later!
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
56,002
Date: 3/11/2009 10:14:52 PM
Author: AWicker
Ok, I couldn't find anything in your budget that met your description exactly, but I did find a few diamond and blue sapphire rings that you may like. Also keep in mind that all of the rings I'm posting from Ross-Simons are an additional 20% off right now.

Here they are:

http://www.ross-simons.com/products/282306.html

http://www.ross-simons.com/products/164699.html

http://www.ross-simons.com/products/166718.html

http://www.overstock.com/Jewelry-Watches/14k-Gold-Sapphire-1-2ct-TDW-Diamond-Ring-I-I1/3053807/product.html



and here is a simple, pretty wedding band:

http://www.ross-simons.com/products/137857.html
Those are pretty good finds! I'd steer clear from the third RS one, though, because the sapphire looks very dark.
 

AWicker

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 23, 2009
Messages
52
This one is on E-bay but it''s the closest to your description that I''ve found so far. And like DiamondSeeker said, there''s just no way that you''re going to find a platinum ring at that price.

http://cgi.ebay.com/antique-1-36ct-LADIES-BLUE-SAPPHIRE-DIAMOND-RING_W0QQitemZ190286691551QQcmdZViewItemQQptZGemstone_Rings?hash=item190286691551&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1326|66%3A2|65%3A12|39%3A1|240%3A1318|301%3A0|293%3A8|294%3A50
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
56,002
Date: 3/11/2009 10:37:55 PM
Author: AWicker
This one is on E-bay but it''s the closest to your description that I''ve found so far. And like DiamondSeeker said, there''s just no way that you''re going to find a platinum ring at that price.

http://cgi.ebay.com/antique-1-36ct-LADIES-BLUE-SAPPHIRE-DIAMOND-RING_W0QQitemZ190286691551QQcmdZViewItemQQptZGemstone_Rings?hash=item190286691551&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1326|66%3A2|65%3A12|39%3A1|240%3A1318|301%3A0|293%3A8|294%3A50
My goodness, you are GOOD AWicker! That is the closest he''ll ever find at that price!


TubaSlug, this ring is really close to what you want, but you need to know that these stones are small. I know in NYC, there are a lot of larger rings, so I don''t know what she might be hoping for???
 

AWicker

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 23, 2009
Messages
52
Thank you


I have a slight OCD issue... when someone needs something, I''ll search for hours a day until I find it. I can''t stop myself. I found the e-ring I want months ago, but I haven''t had anything else to search for so I just keep looking and looking and looking.... Now TubaSlug has given me something else to find!



And here''s just one more. It''s definitely not the shape you were going for, but it is diamonds and sapphires and platinum.

http://cgi.ebay.com/PLATINUM-Diamond-and-Sapphire-Ring-2-46-Carats_W0QQitemZ260368833030QQcmdZViewItemQQptZGemstone_Rings?hash=item260368833030&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1326|66%3A2|65%3A12|39%3A1|240%3A1318|301%3A0|293%3A14|294%3A50
 

Lorelei

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
42,064
Date: 3/11/2009 11:01:17 PM
Author: AWicker
Thank you


I have a slight OCD issue... when someone needs something, I''ll search for hours a day until I find it. I can''t stop myself. I found the e-ring I want months ago, but I haven''t had anything else to search for so I just keep looking and looking and looking.... Now TubaSlug has given me something else to find!



And here''s just one more. It''s definitely not the shape you were going for, but it is diamonds and sapphires and platinum.

http://cgi.ebay.com/PLATINUM-Diamond-and-Sapphire-Ring-2-46-Carats_W0QQitemZ260368833030QQcmdZViewItemQQptZGemstone_Rings?hash=item260368833030&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1326|66%3A2|65%3A12|39%3A1|240%3A1318|301%3A0|293%3A14|294%3A50
Good work Awicker !!!
 

emeraldlover1

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 20, 2006
Messages
2,913
Date: 3/11/2009 11:01:17 PM
Author: AWicker
Thank you


I have a slight OCD issue... when someone needs something, I''ll search for hours a day until I find it. I can''t stop myself. I found the e-ring I want months ago, but I haven''t had anything else to search for so I just keep looking and looking and looking.... Now TubaSlug has given me something else to find!



And here''s just one more. It''s definitely not the shape you were going for, but it is diamonds and sapphires and platinum.

http://cgi.ebay.com/PLATINUM-Diamond-and-Sapphire-Ring-2-46-Carats_W0QQitemZ260368833030QQcmdZViewItemQQptZGemstone_Rings?hash=item260368833030&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1326|66%3A2|65%3A12|39%3A1|240%3A1318|301%3A0|293%3A14|294%3A50
I''m keeping this in mind for when I actually have money to spend on a RHR!
 

TubaSlug

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 11, 2009
Messages
6
Thank you all so much (especially you Diamondseeker, AWicker, and atroop)!!!

The stories I''ve heard about the people on this site are most definitely true.... I WILL come back and let you know how this all ends---good OR bad (I believe it will be good, but I will have to work hard and that''s OK with me). I know I was fortunate to have a woman who couldn''t care less about material posessions, but in a strange way, that fact only made me want to give her more. I became so consumed with the fear of not being able to "give her the world" ,as it were, that I lost sight of what she was really looking for from me. My only prayer now is that she sees the genuine change in me and realizes that I am still the strong, confident man she fell in love with, ready to build OUR life together; and although I can''t "give her the world" YET, I''m more than ready and willing and happy to share all of MY world with her. I don''t mean to be too sappy folks (I''m actually one of the most silent and stoic people you''d ever meet in person), but I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately..... I guess it''s having an effect on me....

Take care, Folks!
- TubaSlug
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
22,379
Here is another wedding band option...Beverly K Platinum, diamond and blue sapphires $354 ( I wouldnt mind having it
myself)

http://www.jrakeliquidationsale.com/bkpr140ds-7.html

BTW- if you are nomally stoic - share with your GF everything you have shared with us...then walk the walk to prove
to her you mean what you say!

Keep us posted - most of us do love a sappy story hopefully with a happy ending!
 

Upgradable

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2004
Messages
5,537
Tuba, I would start by having your girlfriend read the first part of your initial post!!!!

Women don''t necessarily want the ring, they want to know they can have a future with their guy!! Giving her a ring before letting her know where you are emotionally, could be construed as a desperate measure to try to hold onto her, as opposed to a committment to turn your life around.

Make sure she knows what you mean by this ring.
 

atroop711

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
2,844
Date: 3/12/2009 9:34:10 AM
Author: tyty333
Here is another wedding band option...Beverly K Platinum, diamond and blue sapphires $354 ( I wouldnt mind having it

myself)


http://www.jrakeliquidationsale.com/bkpr140ds-7.html


BTW- if you are nomally stoic - share with your GF everything you have shared with us...then walk the walk to prove

to her you mean what you say!


Keep us posted - most of us do love a sappy story hopefully with a happy ending!
tyty NICE FIND! and ITTA what you said in your post.
 

sazza

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 18, 2009
Messages
64
I really think that what she really wants to know is what you shared here with us. I think as long as she knows that you''ve always cared for her and valued her you could propose with anything because what you''re really giving is your heart.

That said... I think the ebay ring AWicker posted is gorgeous!
 

TubaSlug

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 11, 2009
Messages
6
Dear Sazza, Upgradeable, tyty3333, et. al.....

Thank you all for your wonderful advice. Believe me, this ring is NOT my solution to my current situation, which is why in previous posts I talk about the 'hard work' I am committed to doing to let her know how I feel. I could propose with nothing, and I now KNOW this. Though I think I do (and probably have always) feel things deeply, I have always had a difficult time opening up about...well....anything. It's just me, the way I was raised. My father is a wonderful man, but he is naturally an extremely quiet man and does NOT share his feelings easily if at all. I love him deeply and I know he loves me, but a firm handshake with deep eye contact is as open (emotionally) as he usually gets--and I certainly inherited his reluctance in those areas...though I've always had a sense that he was different with only my mother. They just seem to "get" one another and he has always been very affectionate with her (50 years of marriage might do that, though).

But, you folks don't care about all this and I'm just rambling now.... but I wanted to thank you for your advice and let you know that I do now "get it". This ring is not my solution, yet it is an extension of the new committment and realizations I've undergone (and am currently undergoing) through all of this. The ring will not make an appearance until I've firmly begun the work of rebuilding her trust and belief in me. I know that she's rooting for me, but I want her to see and to know that that this change in me is real. Now is not the time for anything but cold, hard truth and sincerity--and she will know what I'm about BEFORE the ring.

Thank you All,
TubaSlug
 

AWicker

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 23, 2009
Messages
52
Date: 3/12/2009 6:44:46 AM
Author: emeraldlover1
Date: 3/11/2009 11:01:17 PM

Author: AWicker

Thank you



I have a slight OCD issue... when someone needs something, I''ll search for hours a day until I find it. I can''t stop myself. I found the e-ring I want months ago, but I haven''t had anything else to search for so I just keep looking and looking and looking.... Now TubaSlug has given me something else to find!




And here''s just one more. It''s definitely not the shape you were going for, but it is diamonds and sapphires and platinum.


http://cgi.ebay.com/PLATINUM-Diamond-and-Sapphire-Ring-2-46-Carats_W0QQitemZ260368833030QQcmdZViewItemQQptZGemstone_Rings?hash=item260368833030&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1326|66%3A2|65%3A12|39%3A1|240%3A1318|301%3A0|293%3A14|294%3A50
I''m keeping this in mind for when I actually have money to spend on a RHR!
You''re welcome, TubaSlug. I hope everything works out well for you.


And EmeraldLover: I''d love to help, really!

If anyone is looking for something in particular, let me know. I love the hunt!
 

DiamondFlame

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 7, 2009
Messages
680
You''re a lucky man, Tubaslug! She sounds like a keeper. Your story is remarkably similar to mine so I know where you''re coming from. You''re certainly on the right track! I know you''re not used to baring your soul but your first post was already a positive step. My GF once told me she''d be happy even if I were to propose with a plastic ring. Now I''ve saved enough to get her a nice diamond ring and will be taking delivery next week! Do share with us how your proposal went. I''m a sucker for against-the-odds love stories...

AWicker, fab job! If I''d known you''re THIS gd at hunting down eBay stuff, I''d have asked for your help earlier.
 

TubaSlug

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 11, 2009
Messages
6
Thans for the encouragement, DiamondFlame,

She is most definitely a keeper! I will let you know how this turns out. Take Care.

- TubaSlug
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!
    What is White Gold?
    What is White Gold?
    Push Present: Engagement Ring Upgrade
    Push Present: Engagement Ring Upgrade
    20th Anniversary Upgrade
    20th Anniversary Upgrade

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.

New posts

Top