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Help! I think my e-ring is TOO BIG!

Discussion in 'RockyTalky' started by Yee Haw!, Jan 13, 2010.

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  1. Yee Haw!
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    by Yee Haw! » Jan 13, 2010
    Hey PS,

    I'm having a jeweler custom-make an e-ring for my soon-to-be fiance. I just put down the deposit on a 2.20 ct cushion (H color, SI1 clarity but it doesn't matter for this question). I'm having it set in a Harry Winston-style micropave halo. Her ring size is 6.5.

    Here's my problem: I can afford the stone without a problem, but now that I'm looking around PS, all of the 2+ carat e-rings I see with cushion center stones and halos seem HUGE. In fact, I know this sounds crazy....but I think they look TOO big.

    What do y'all think? Will she be embarrassed? I know it's bigger than her friends' rings and she's not a showy person. Is a 2.20 stone too flashy? Too gaudy, especially with a halo making it look even bigger? Or am I just being silly? [​IMG]

    I feel like I won't really know until I see it on her finger...but by then it's too late, right? I want the whole proposal to be a surprise.

    OPINIONS?
     
    


    


  2. Hest88
    Ideal_Rock

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    by Hest88 » Jan 13, 2010
    Hm. Don''t know. How big are her friend''s rings, and when you say she''s not "showy" what does that mean? Is she a jeans gal? Does she ever have designer handbags? Does she work in a profession where a 2+ carat ring in a halo will seem gaudy?

    Personally, I''d get more info if you don''t know. See if you can enlist a sister or a girlfriend to ferret out what she finds too big and showy. Or take her ring shopping at your local jeweler, have her try on rings, and see how she reacts to bigger vs. smaller rings.
     
  3. neatfreak
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    by neatfreak » Jan 13, 2010
    You need to ask her. And if she hasn''t requested a halo ring personally I would go without on a stone that big. If she requested it that is another thing.

    For some women that''s too big and for some too small so it really depends on her!
     
  4. MichelleCarmen
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    by MichelleCarmen » Jan 13, 2010
    My firm opinion: Get the cushion set into a simple *temporary* ring and then propose. After then, you and her can look at settings and find one that''s her. It''s better to be safe since you''re going to be spending a lot of money AND she''s going to be wearing the ring for the rest of her life.
     
    


    


  5. Bella_mezzo
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    by Bella_mezzo » Jan 13, 2010
    I second MC and NF either ask her opinion now, or have the stone set in a temporary solitaire setting and let her pick the permanent setting after you are engaged.

    I love sparkly things as much as the next girl, and love to drool over the big rings on PS, but I would not wear a ring that big. My fingers are too small and it doesn''t really fit my lifestyle/personality (even though I live in NYC, the big ring capital[​IMG]) Maybe I''d change my story if actually presented with a 2ct cushion in a halo, but I''m not sure. A 2 ct solitaire, that I could maybe pull off[​IMG]

    Eitherway, congratulations on your impending engagement and I can''t wait to see pics of the ring, it will be gorgeous no matter what!!!
     
  6. oldminer
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    by oldminer » Jan 13, 2010
    MC, I''m with you on this unless she has already clearly said she wants a halo style. If she has said that already, then she does want something a bit larger than a plain ring. Unless you have knowledge of the design she wants, go toward simple and make it clear that the mounting of her dreams comes with the proposal.
     
  7. Yee Haw!
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    by Yee Haw! » Jan 13, 2010
    Thanks for the input so far, everybody.

    So yes, she''s been very specific about the setting style she likes best: cushion cut center stone, micropave halo, micropave band.

    She has style and she''s no tomboy, but she''s definitely not a designer handbag kind of girl. She works in media.

    Also, I appreciate the reason for the advice, but I really don''t want to do the temporary setting idea. It''s certainly the most practical, but it sacrifices too much of the romanticism for me.

    Does any of this influence anyone''s opinion?
     
  8. Hest88
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    by Hest88 » Jan 13, 2010
    Plus, the micropave halo may not work well with the wedding ring she may want, so you do have to be very careful with surprising her with something you''re not sure she''ll love. If you can''t get more info then, yeah, I''d use a temporary setting.
     
  9. Bella_mezzo
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    by Bella_mezzo » Jan 13, 2010
    If she works in media and wants the halo, and you''re sure you have the halo size/style right, then go for it. it may seem a tad big at first, but I''m pretty sure she''ll grown into it[​IMG] That is going to be a gorgeous ring!!!
     
  10. AprilBaby
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    by AprilBaby » Jan 13, 2010
    Sounds to me like you got just what she wanted. GOOD LUCK WITH THE PROPOSAL!
     
    


    


  11. Hest88
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    by Hest88 » Jan 13, 2010
    Ahhh, okay. If she''s in the media I don''t think the ring will be too big after she wears it for awhile. If she stays in that profession she will no doubt see rings much larger. If she loves this type of setting the only thing to consider is whether or not you''d like want to downgrade the size of the stone (to closer to 1.5) and keep the setting.
     
  12. mrssalvo
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    by mrssalvo » Jan 13, 2010
    If she wanted the cushion and the halo I think you did it perfectly. most cushions will face up smaller than an equal carat weight round so although a 2.2 cushion is a large stone I don''t think they have the same huge look as a 2.2 round. I think the size and halo on a 6.5 will be perfect and I doubt you''ll ever have to worry about her wanting to upgrade to something larger down the road too! If she didn''t mention the halo then I would have agreed with the other''s on the temp setting idea but since you seem to know and do exactly what she wanted I think you did great! Please come back with pics when the ring is done, it sounds fabulous!
     
  13. iluvcarats
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    by iluvcarats » Jan 13, 2010
    I have a 2.44 RB halo, and sometimes I feel it is too big. My finger is a bit smaller than hers at a 4.5.
    I don''t want to squash her dreams though[​IMG] If that is what she wants, then it sounds like you did the right thing.
    I would try one on to get an idea of size. An RB faces up larger than a cushion, so maybe your ring will be perfect.
    Good luck and come back with pictures!
     
  14. lucyandroger
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    by lucyandroger » Jan 13, 2010
    Since you were able to get info from her about the setting, can you ask her about stone size?
     
  15. waterlilly
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    by waterlilly » Jan 13, 2010

    100% agree, sounds perfect!
     
    


    


  16. MichelleCarmen
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    by MichelleCarmen » Jan 13, 2010
    Okay, from your original post you implied she may be "embarrassed" with a halo, so I was under the impression she wasn''t yet aware of the style you had picked out and it may be larger and possibly "gaudy."

    Go ahead with the halo design you''ve picked out. (Has she tried on halos/micropave or just seen them online? Just a question since what we see online or in photos can look different once on the hand. I''ve changed my mind a few times over the years after trying stuff on.)

    Anyhow. . .Congratulations!
     
  17. Laila619
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    by Laila619 » Jan 13, 2010
    Yee Haw,

    What are the measurements of the stone in mm? The halo will add probably 1.5mm on each side.
     
  18. DiamondFlame
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    by DiamondFlame » Jan 13, 2010
    Obviously you've put a lot of thought into it. And clearly this really is about her and not how big a rock you can afford. So I say, go with your gut feel. YOU know her better than any of us.

    Some of us find big diamonds to be 'loud', and modestly sized ones more 'tasteful'. Personally I feel there is beauty in the right proportions so I tend to believe there IS such a thing as too big a stone for a finger. My lady wears a size 6.5 and my spready cushion (measuring ~6.8 x 5.6 mm) in a micropave halo already covers ~66% of the finger width. So I can imagine how much fingerwidth a 2.2ct ( ~ 7.8 x 7.5 mm? )+ micropave halo is going to cover.

    Perhaps you could go a little smaller(?) like say 1.5-1.7 ct but higher in color/clarity, knowing full well you can afford to get her an upgrade when she is ready for that bigger rock, possibly as a RHR. But I've yet to hear a woman complaining that her diamond is too big for her finger. [​IMG]

    Guess I'm not that much of a help here.. but congrats!
     
  19. Kaleigh
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    by Kaleigh » Jan 13, 2010
    Ditto. I think she''ll be thrilled. Please come back with pics!![​IMG]
     
  20. motownmama
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    by motownmama » Jan 13, 2010
    go for it - stop doubting yourself!!
     
  21. yssie
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    by yssie » Jan 13, 2010
    It sounds beautiful, and exactly what she wanted!!



    I''m very sure she''ll get used to the size quickly enough [​IMG] esp. working in media.
     
  22. CharmyPoo
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    by CharmyPoo » Jan 13, 2010
    My finger size is 2.75 and I am currently wearing a 1.5 ct cushion. I started wearing this ring in November since my fiance insited that it is time I wear the ring. I love the size on my own but I am sometimes embarassed in public. I received many comments that my rock was huge and beautiful - it is a compliment but I can''t help but feel embarassed that people feel it is big. It''s almost like I am trying to be a show off or really materialistic. We have purchased an even larger diamond that is currently being made. Now .. I am really nervous that it is way too big.

    Long story short - yes, the diamond can be too big but she has to decide.
     
  23. Jennifer2828
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    by Jennifer2828 » Jan 14, 2010
    And there are those who think 2 ct isn''t too big at all. I have a 4.25 ring size and a 2.05 solitaire and i LOVE the size.

    It really depends on the girl.
     
  24. dreamer_dachsie
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    by dreamer_dachsie » Jan 14, 2010
    Did she mention a preference for size? I would love a ring like you describe.
     
  25. Mobinvera
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    by Mobinvera » Jan 14, 2010

    I can relate to your issue. I had a 2.08 princess center set with two .5ct sides stones for a 3-stone engagement ring. It looked great for special occasions, but I felt that it was ‘too much’ and that I would be self-conscious in everyday settings, like at work. So I had it re-set in a solitaire and absolutely love it. It’s substantial without being over-the-top. I have smaller fingers (3.75), and 2 carats is enough on its own.


    It ended up being an expensive mistake. If I could do it all over again, I would have started with the solitaire with the option to upgrade the setting. (On the other hand, maybe if I started with the solitaire I would have always wondered what it looked like with a flashier setting – at least now I know…).
     
  26. ChunkyCushionLover
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    by ChunkyCushionLover » Jan 14, 2010
    MY fiance has a 6 finger and a 1.6 ct cushion in Harry Winston Micropave, it is delicate and understated and she loves it, definitely not too big. Also if the ring melee are only 0.8 - 0.9pt like some original HW rings than it will be almost the same size as my Fiances. You will get about 70 - 80% finger coverage not too big. But if you haven''t asked her what kind of setting she likes you might try to hint at it.
     
  27. LGK
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    by LGK » Jan 14, 2010
    I've found it's really easy to get used to rings, even if they seem big initially. She may feel it's HUGE for a few weeks but it'll probably just seem part of her finger soon after. A fancy shape like a cushion is also a classy way to wear a larger stone; it will look more understated than a same-size round. I think you got exactly what she wanted and the size, while nice and substantial, is definitely not what I'd consider too big. (I wear a size 5 and have a 3 1/2 ct round, so you're welcome to take my advice with a grain of salt if you like!)
     
  28. stepcutnut
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    by stepcutnut » Jan 14, 2010
    I think that is a lovely ct. weight for a size 6.5. What are the cushion measurements?
     
  29. studyer83
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    by studyer83 » Jan 14, 2010
    You know her best. If you think she might think the ring is overkill, I might skip the halo. A sleek setting with a low-profile band will look elegant and classy. And if she wants more bling, she can choose out a flashier wedding band!
     
  30. studyer83
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    by studyer83 » Jan 14, 2010
    OK, like an idiot I replied w/o reading.

    Get the woman what you know she wants [​IMG]
     
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