Help-buyers remorse with a custom setting...any options?

[WBPF]

Hello PSers... I'd love some opinions and advice here....and probably some therapy too...

I just received my custom setting upgrade. My original ER was a 1.5 ct princess cut in a prong setting with tapered baguettes on each side, in platinum. (F, VS2) For our anniversary, we had a custom setting made using my original center stone. It now is bezel set in a bezel set halo with clipped corners and traps on each side. We did a CAD, I got measurements, cut out the size of the ring from a piece of paper, etc so I do think I did my homework. I picked it up yesterday and they did exactly what they said they would do and it is beautiful.

So here is what is keeping me up at night: this thing is huge...it might need it's own zip code. Yes, I went from a stone that was about 6.3mm x 6.3mm and now with the halo and bezels it's about 11mm, so I knew it was going to be bigger. I also haven't had my original ER for about 6 months while it was being made, so I went from no ring to a big ring, which is not helping. Is there a term for the opposite of DSS??? LOL..I thought I was going to be ok with the size but now that I actually see it I am really not sure that I am.

I realize this is all on me....the jeweler didnt screw up. But what now?

I realize I need to live with it for a bit. BUT if I still feel that it's just "too much" for me to wear all the time, what are my options?
I either need to make peace with it, or do something about it. If I end up changing it, here are my questions:

1. Can a jeweler re-use the platinum and melt it down to make a new setting? (So I don't take a huge bath on a setting that was already very expensive?)
2. Do jewelers buy back tiny diamonds that are used in a halo? These diamonds were specially cut for this halo so not sure if that means I am screwed? Some of the diamonds in the halo are straight cut baguettes but the corners were specially cut for this setting so I dont about about their re-use.
3. Is there any chance the jeweler could re-sell the setting some how?

If I re-do the setting, I would either forget the halo and use my center stones and the traps as a three stone ring OR maybe I would make the halo much smaller, making the total halo size 9x9 or so. I think re-making the halo is going to really cost me a fortune so I dont know if thats the best option.

The jeweler I worked with was really great. They did have to send the ring out to another company in NY because they needed a diamond cutter to cut the stone for the halo. The jeweler actually sent the setting back to the twice to correct some things (which included them having to re-make the whole thing once) and make sure it was perfect. The jeweler negotiated a great price for us but I think with all the back and forth with their NY vendor they likely arent making much on this setting.....which might not help me if I go back to them to re-do this.

Any thoughts? Opinions? Suggestions? I'd love any and all advice!

Pictures attached, with my wedding band and without.

 

[LLJsmom]

From what I have been told by Jewelers, they seldom reuse platinum, unlike gold. Selling melee is probably not easy either. If it is exactly what you requested from a technical standpoint. I would try to live with it. Too much trouble and expense to immediately contemplate chaninging it. How much time has it been? How long have you been wearing it now?

Btw, it doesn't look too big to me. I know it's how it looks to you that matters so just hang out on PS more. It will shrink.

 

[yennyfire]

It IS large (but proportional to your finger in my opinion), but I think living with it for awhile is a good plan. I actually downsized my ring (I started over completely), but I waited a few months to see if my comfort level changed. It didn't, and I'm thrilled with my decision (my "new" ring is now a few years old). You will most likely lose money in the whole process, so be sure before you do anything.

 

[junebug17]

I won't be much help because I like a lot of hand presence and I think your ring is gorgeous! It looks beautifully made too - but I know it's how you feel that matters and you should love your ring. I would give it a little time and see if you can get used to it, it's strange how our eyes adjust after a while - I reset an 8 mm diamond into a halo and it measures at almost 12 mm and at first I thought "I don't think I can do this, it's too big" - after wearing it for a while, it now feels normal to me and I don't view it as "big". If you are still uncomfortable with it I'm thinking the most affordable option might be to reset in a 3 stone, using the traps you already have. Maybe you could have a band made with some of the diamonds in your halo. Unfortunately any change you make is going to involve taking a loss, maybe your best bet is to speak with the jeweler and find out what the most economical option is. I can't really address your questions about melting the metal and the jeweler buying back melee, etc, just not sure and maybe someone else knows but I would just ask the jeweler directly what your options are.

I'm sorry that you aren't completely happy with your new ring and I wish you luck in figuring this out!

 

[Andelain]

I really like that, especially on your right hand!


I'd keep it a while, and let it grow (shrink) on you.

 

[artdecolover71]

oh wow-I think it looks great on you...maybe wait and see if you get used to the size first?

 

[motownmama]

To me it looks really nice on your hand. Maybe wear the ring and the band on opposite hands? I think you'll get used tot he size anyway. LOVELY!

 

[HegemonyCricket]

Btw, it doesn't look too big to me. I know it's how it looks to you that matters so just hang out on PS more. It will shrink.

+1. I like the look without the wedding band more; try wearing it that way for a month and see what you think. I'll bet you'll get used to it by the end of the month. Congrats -- it's a beautiful setting!

 

[azstonie]

I've had several custom projects come back and 'surprise' me and not in a good way. So I know what that's like.

Having said that, almost all of them eventually became happy pieces for me, I stopped seeing the aspects that I did not initially care for (or request) and I focused on the overall piece.

My advice is to wear it, give it some time, *then* see how you feel about the ring.

The metal can be scrapped and recycled, you won't get much back on it. Yes, the other stones can be re-used without a problem. The issue would be that jewelers make money off of both ends of a custom project (they order the stones and typically make a small profit on them) so if you are providing all the stones expect to pay for the privilege in terms of the end price, the bench has to make a profit or there is no point in being a business.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Unfortunately, taking the diamond out and trying to sell the setting will be very difficult since it is for a very specific size center stone. You will lose a lot of money selling it and even more scrapping the metal and diamonds. The truth is, much of the cost of custom ring making is labor. So the small amount of metal just isn't worth a lot in comparison to the actual purchase price.

I agree with the others that it is a lovely ring and fits your finger well. I am another, though, who just isn't comfortable wearing really large diamonds or diamond settings. So I get how you feel totally. I just think you need to live with it for awhile. If you decide you can't wear it as an e-ring, then have the diamond taken out and reuse the setting by having a colored stone reset in it. Honestly, you'd lose too much money trying to sell it so you may as well use it. Something like a Victor Canera Emilya is an example of a delicate halo setting that would not have the finished size of this design.

 

[ADN]

Hi - I think that if you give it a bit of time (and once the compliments start rolling in) you may realise what a unique and special ring you have, and grow to love it
Good luck

 

[heididdl]

I don't see what you see what I see is beautiful ring and is perfect on your finger.

 

[the_mother_thing]

FWIW, I love your new ring setting! It's beautiful! As others have said, give it time and see if it grows on you in time. Perhaps wearing it on the right hand as also suggested will sort of break up the bling factor with your WB as you ease into the coverage jump. Or, perhaps wear it alone (vs with the band) while you adjust to it. It appears substantial enough (in a good way) to double as an ering & WB in one. But I do think it is beautiful!

 

[marcy]

I think your ring is beautiful. I also would suggest wearing it for awhile and see if you get used to the size. I don't think it looks too big on your hand. I know that is a personal preference what we think looks good on our hands.

 

[solgen]

I'd try contacting the jeweler and see if they can do anything for you. I feel you'd be better off selling the setting as you'll get a better return rather than trying to re-purpose or use it as scrap. But maybe you'll get used to the size quickly. Or buy some huge and gaudy cocktail type ring and wear it for a week. Then switch back to your ring and it won't seem so big.

 

[Sphene]

WTH would you change it - it's perfect on your hand

 

[dk168]

I like the setting and I too believe it looks good on the hand.

DK

 

[WBPF]

Can I just say how awesome all of you are? Seriously...I'd hug you all if I could

Thank you to all of you for your input. I think the bottom line is that I need to give it some more time. Its literally only been a few days. I agree that its better on my right hand than with the band, so Ill give that a shot.

Thanks for the education on what a jeweler is likely to do with the setting if I decide not to keep it. We actually just went there today to talk to them....they of course said I need to give it more time but they will work with me if I want to change it. I know that means I am still going to take a major financial bath on this but lesson learned. Thankfully, my DH is open minded and wants me to be happy.

diamondseeker20060 you suggested keeping the setting and putting a colored stone in it and now all I can think of is sapphires....uh oh...

yennyfire- I'd love to hear your downsizing story. Did you share it on PS and if so, can you send me the link? Were you uncomfortable or self conscious wearing it? I feel like the Dutchess of York with this on my finger....but unfortunately, my suburban-mom-of-two life is nothing like hers so not sure I can pull this off....

I am still going to peruse PS to see what my "plan B" might look like if I decide its too much. I really love the modern art-deco ish type of look so maybe I can find some kind of scaled down version? I know bezel setting it is a definite must. Maybe I just use the 2 side traps and bezel set the whole thing...maybe they can still do some kind of clipped corners which I really love? I know there are plenty of beautiful rings on PS so hopefully Ill find some ideas.


Funny- the lady at the jewelry store said lots of women come back in a few days after an upgrade and have a panic attack. Good to know I am not the only crazy one out there!

 

[AdaBeta27]

I like that ring, and 10mm - 11mm for a halo is not large, for that style. About 1cm (10mm) is actually rather standard, when looking at ready-made semimounts. I have a halo ring in the 11mm diameter range, and a size 5 finger and really small hands with short fingers. I don't feel that my halo is too large or that it's unwieldy. It doesn't get in my way at all.

If you don't like that particular wedding band, you could have a very thin form-fitted plain metal band made that would not call attention to itself, but if people look closely there's a wedding band there. A thin one wouldn't compete with the halo ring.

IF you decide to start over and remove the diamond and re-purpose the diamond as a gemstone ring, there are jeweler/gemcutters like Michael E. at Gemshoppe who can custom cut a genuine or simulated sapphire for you and mount it in a ring. Wink at HighPerformance Diamonds probably has skills and connections to accomplish that, as well.

If it were my ring, I'd wear it. But I'd get a thin lil' plain platinum hugger wedding band to wear with it. (Irl, I am single, so I never have to worry about wedding bands, lol.)

 

[lovedogs]

IMHO it's a beautiful ring and looks incredible on your finger ! I do agree with others though that I prefer it alone rather than with the band--I think maybe the band "detracts" from the ring somehow? I can't exactly define what it is about the combination I don't care for, but I really do love it alone. And I think that a plainer band (maybe just a platinum band without stones) would compliment it nicely.

So I guess my overall advice is to wait a bit to see if you get used to it, and maybe try on a few plain bands with it at a store to see if that helps you feel more comfortable with using as your wedding set. But if you definitely can't get used to it then it would make an AMAZING RHR with a colored stone in the middle and then you could use the diamond to make a different e-ring set.

I am sorry you are feeling unsure, and that you aren't 100% happy with the outcome. But I hope that with a bit of time and maybe a change in the band you will grow to love it!