Thomperchik
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2008
- Messages
- 303
Warning - this is a long post, so make sure you have time to read this...
I''ve written a few post about my SO being in the military and him coming home this month. Well the time finally came. I could''ve not been so excited about anything else in my life. I hadn''t seen him in six months and it was six months too long. We have been dating for about a year and he started talking marriage I would say about three months ago or so. Well, we got involved in the ring process and of course we used Pricescope. He finally got the ring made and I couldn''t be more excited about spending the rest of my life with him. My excitement about seeing him this month had nothing to do with the proposal or a ring, it had to do with us being together. That''s all I wanted. So go back a month to December. He had been acting strange and I think he freaked out about the whole marriage and engagement thing. I just let him be and I thought everything was normal, or so I hoped it was. When I finally did see him the excitement and everything we talked about wasn''t there. He was so distant with me. I couldn''t understand why. Last Saturday we were laying in bed and he pulls out a ring box, and of course I''m thinking OMG... Holy Cow... OMG... So he takes out the ring he puts it on me and I start crying, but it gets worst... He tells me how much he loves me, but then he proceeds to mention that he isn''t sure about wanting to get married so he takes the ring off my finger... WTF?!?!?!? Why the hell would he do that? That has been the most painful moment of my life. Why? What would compel him to do that? If he wasn''t sure, he should''ve never told me or shown me anything at all. What kind of heartless person would do that? So I tried to be tough and I just sat back and told him that he should do it when he felt ready to do it. It was so awkward after that. I was so mad and I asked him what happened. He said that he wanted to do it because he thought that if he didn''t then I wouldn''t move to California with him. The funny part about all this was that I told him I would move way before he started talking marriage. So I still don''t understand why this would happen.
The next morning, I hear him typing away on his computer and he''s writing an email so I turn around and trust me I wasn''t snooping but the first thing I read was "I don''t want to get married and she doesn''t get it.... I think I will do my Navy career solo..." I immediately turned around and was crushed. I didn''t understand why he had the audacity to write an email about me while I''m sleeping next to him. So he got up and when he came back out I was bawling... I couldn''t hold it back anymore. I told him that I got the point a while ago and that if he wanted to be by himself then he should. I told him that I was leaving and that I didn''t want anything to do him anymore. I''ve never been so hurt in my life before.
Unfortunately, I couldn''t leave because I had to buy a plane ticket that was over $1200 and to make a long story short I stayed because he begged me to. I thought that maybe if I just push a bit harder things would get better but they really haven''t. He really thinks that I should get over what happen. He just doesn''t get it. I don''t know why he''s being like this. This is not the person I fell in love with and I told him that. He says it upsets him to see me cry and to hear me saying that, but it''s the truth. To add more wood to the fire, on our way to his parents house I told him that I knew I had gained some weight, but I figured he wouldn''t mind since I thought his love for me was unconditional and my stupid self asked him if he was less attracted to me. Granted, I should''ve never asked the question, but there had to be a different why he was so distant and why he didn''t feel the need to compliment or touch me. He used to never be like this. He''s not excited and happy with me as he used to be, and he doesn''t make me laugh, he''s mean and sarcastic (not in the funny way), and he''s just not the person I fell in love with. Now I don''t even know if that person was real, or if he was pretending to be that person because our relationship was so new. Well, when he answered that question he said, "I think you are beautiful." I told him "that''s not what I asked you..." So he answered "little bit" turned off by me... WTF?!?!? I have been dying to see him and even at his worst I''ve been attracted to him and I have loved him unconditionally either way. I don''t know what he''s going through in his deployment and I"m not sure if that can factor as to why he''s being like that... but seriously? I never expected that of him and neither did anyone else that knows him.
Well, since he''s only in the states for two weeks we have been with his family. I love his family and I know they like me too. We finally had some down time to talk yesterday and he asked me if I was going to break up with him. I told him that I needed a break because I was hurt about what happen and that I didn''t want to be in a relationship where I was resentful. I also told everything that has happened the last week. I told him that I didn''t get the excitement from him and the passion he used to have in our relationship. I told him that I deserved someone that was crazy about me the same way I''m crazy about them. I told him that I felt so stupid to go see him and expect everything to be wonderful, but instead I got my hopes up and it seems like everything is where I least expected it to be. I think he knew I was going to do this and it makes me wonder if his behaviour was on purpose. I don''t even know what to think anymore. I''ve never loved anyone before and I don''t want anyone else but him. I just don''t think it''s fair for me to be in this situation. It gets me so mad because I feel like he never gave us a chance to recapture what we had before he left. Then after everything he has done, he expects me to feel the same. I even wondered if I was overreacting, but my intuition wouldn''t lie to me... Unfortunately, I''m done with him and as painful as it may be, I have to do it for myself worth and myself esteem...
I''ve written a few post about my SO being in the military and him coming home this month. Well the time finally came. I could''ve not been so excited about anything else in my life. I hadn''t seen him in six months and it was six months too long. We have been dating for about a year and he started talking marriage I would say about three months ago or so. Well, we got involved in the ring process and of course we used Pricescope. He finally got the ring made and I couldn''t be more excited about spending the rest of my life with him. My excitement about seeing him this month had nothing to do with the proposal or a ring, it had to do with us being together. That''s all I wanted. So go back a month to December. He had been acting strange and I think he freaked out about the whole marriage and engagement thing. I just let him be and I thought everything was normal, or so I hoped it was. When I finally did see him the excitement and everything we talked about wasn''t there. He was so distant with me. I couldn''t understand why. Last Saturday we were laying in bed and he pulls out a ring box, and of course I''m thinking OMG... Holy Cow... OMG... So he takes out the ring he puts it on me and I start crying, but it gets worst... He tells me how much he loves me, but then he proceeds to mention that he isn''t sure about wanting to get married so he takes the ring off my finger... WTF?!?!?!? Why the hell would he do that? That has been the most painful moment of my life. Why? What would compel him to do that? If he wasn''t sure, he should''ve never told me or shown me anything at all. What kind of heartless person would do that? So I tried to be tough and I just sat back and told him that he should do it when he felt ready to do it. It was so awkward after that. I was so mad and I asked him what happened. He said that he wanted to do it because he thought that if he didn''t then I wouldn''t move to California with him. The funny part about all this was that I told him I would move way before he started talking marriage. So I still don''t understand why this would happen.
The next morning, I hear him typing away on his computer and he''s writing an email so I turn around and trust me I wasn''t snooping but the first thing I read was "I don''t want to get married and she doesn''t get it.... I think I will do my Navy career solo..." I immediately turned around and was crushed. I didn''t understand why he had the audacity to write an email about me while I''m sleeping next to him. So he got up and when he came back out I was bawling... I couldn''t hold it back anymore. I told him that I got the point a while ago and that if he wanted to be by himself then he should. I told him that I was leaving and that I didn''t want anything to do him anymore. I''ve never been so hurt in my life before.
Unfortunately, I couldn''t leave because I had to buy a plane ticket that was over $1200 and to make a long story short I stayed because he begged me to. I thought that maybe if I just push a bit harder things would get better but they really haven''t. He really thinks that I should get over what happen. He just doesn''t get it. I don''t know why he''s being like this. This is not the person I fell in love with and I told him that. He says it upsets him to see me cry and to hear me saying that, but it''s the truth. To add more wood to the fire, on our way to his parents house I told him that I knew I had gained some weight, but I figured he wouldn''t mind since I thought his love for me was unconditional and my stupid self asked him if he was less attracted to me. Granted, I should''ve never asked the question, but there had to be a different why he was so distant and why he didn''t feel the need to compliment or touch me. He used to never be like this. He''s not excited and happy with me as he used to be, and he doesn''t make me laugh, he''s mean and sarcastic (not in the funny way), and he''s just not the person I fell in love with. Now I don''t even know if that person was real, or if he was pretending to be that person because our relationship was so new. Well, when he answered that question he said, "I think you are beautiful." I told him "that''s not what I asked you..." So he answered "little bit" turned off by me... WTF?!?!? I have been dying to see him and even at his worst I''ve been attracted to him and I have loved him unconditionally either way. I don''t know what he''s going through in his deployment and I"m not sure if that can factor as to why he''s being like that... but seriously? I never expected that of him and neither did anyone else that knows him.
Well, since he''s only in the states for two weeks we have been with his family. I love his family and I know they like me too. We finally had some down time to talk yesterday and he asked me if I was going to break up with him. I told him that I needed a break because I was hurt about what happen and that I didn''t want to be in a relationship where I was resentful. I also told everything that has happened the last week. I told him that I didn''t get the excitement from him and the passion he used to have in our relationship. I told him that I deserved someone that was crazy about me the same way I''m crazy about them. I told him that I felt so stupid to go see him and expect everything to be wonderful, but instead I got my hopes up and it seems like everything is where I least expected it to be. I think he knew I was going to do this and it makes me wonder if his behaviour was on purpose. I don''t even know what to think anymore. I''ve never loved anyone before and I don''t want anyone else but him. I just don''t think it''s fair for me to be in this situation. It gets me so mad because I feel like he never gave us a chance to recapture what we had before he left. Then after everything he has done, he expects me to feel the same. I even wondered if I was overreacting, but my intuition wouldn''t lie to me... Unfortunately, I''m done with him and as painful as it may be, I have to do it for myself worth and myself esteem...
So with this I''m signing off and I wish all the other LIW the best!
300x240.png)