shape
carat
color
clarity

Has your significant other given you a really tacky present? If so please make me feel better!

MamaBee

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2018
Messages
14,480
I love the sound of cicadas! It would be amazing to hear a gazillion of them!

At that first sound I will be in a hoodie with the string wrapped tight around my face leaving just enough room for my nose..:eek2:
 

MamaBee

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2018
Messages
14,480
Aww (((((hugs))))). Don’t be scared. Remember you’re bigger and stronger than they are. Believe me I get it. But keep reminding yourself you are smarter and bigger than they are. And ultimately they cannot hurt you. ((((Hugs)))).

It doesn’t work. They win @missy Yuck!
 

DAF

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 7, 2012
Messages
777
omg has it been 17 years already?! And I just got back to TN. Noooooooooooo!

There are several different broods that emerge at different years all over the country, so perhaps not.
 

PinkAndBlueBling

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 16, 2017
Messages
1,640
We don't do the bug thing in So Cal, so please explain the 17 yr cicada thing. It sounds nasty!
 

MamaBee

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2018
Messages
14,480
We don't do the bug thing in So Cal, so please explain the 17 yr cicada thing. It sounds nasty!

You’re so lucky! If I post a link it will show pics. I can’t take it. Just do a search and you’ll see how disgusting they are. They’re huge and they scream. Yikes!
 

canuk-gal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 19, 2004
Messages
25,644
LOL! We lived in an area where there were plenty of mosquitoes, so the "bug tent" was a tent made out of bug-proof screen withvertical zippers on the sides. You could sit in and enjoy a meal or an outdoor visit without being cannibalized by the bugs. :bigsmile: I detest mosquitoes/bugs. Still a bug tent for a 10-year anni was kind of over-the-top... :lol:

ETA: A lovelier name is a "camp gazebo", as the one below is called.

Screen Shot 2021-05-07 at 10.15.51 PM.png

Back on topic!

Gotcha! Thanks for the info!! :))
 

Mreader

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
6,065
There are several different broods that emerge at different years all over the country, so perhaps not.

No we are definitely included. But I remember a few years back there was a different brood - 7 year maybe? Anyway the noise was deafening. And it was really hard to go outside without one flying into you. I totally have the heebie-jeebies.
 

RunningwithScissors

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
3,699
I have something to share, but its not exactly a "tacky" gift.

I'm feeling ashamed to admit this, but I'm hurt because my parents didn't send even a small gift this year for my birthday (which is tomorrow - same day as Mother's Day). I know that sounds totally selfish, which is why I'm embarrassed to admit it. And really it is not about receiving a material item, it is about acknowledgement.

My dad had a stroke back in February. He was in the hospital, then rehab, and has now been at home for a couple months. So I totally, totally get that there are much bigger, more important things for my parents to think about than my birthday.

My dad has made a really good recovery (which is really the only thing I want or would ever ask for.)

But the thing that makes my parent's oversight hurt, is that my husband's birthday was recently, and they did something lovely and thoughtful for him. Which again, I am really happy and thankful that they treat my husband well and love him as much as I do.

Since my father's stroke, I've given up my work and my home life to help my parents and be there with them through my dad's hospitalization (taking care of my mom, cooking, cleaning, giving her love and moral support) and then again to help when my dad came home from the hospital, caring for him and helping with rehab, cooking, etc. I've flown back and forth from TX to MD over and over again during a pandemic before I was eligible for the vaccine. And then pulled every string I could think of to get the vaccine early so that I would be healthy to continue to care for them. I've put on hold (basically given up) a position on a board of directors that I've worked for ten years to attain and that means a lot to me.

Of course I would all of this again in a heartbeat because they are my parents and I love them and I just want them well and happy. I don't expect praise or thank yous or anything.

But it does sting to be overlooked on my birthday when my husband (who did not provide any direct help to them or have his life changed in any way) was remembered on his birthday. Makes me feel taken for granted.

I sent my mom a giant bouquet of antique roses for Mother's Day and they arrived on Wednesday and she sent me a text saying how much she loves them and how great they smell.

I'm sorry if this post sounds self absorbed. I'm just feeling hurt, and I need to release the feelings in a way that I don't tell anyone IRL. So thanks for listening.
 
Last edited:

collier

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2011
Messages
368
I'm feeling ashamed to admit this, but I'm hurt because my parents didn't send even a small gift this year for my birthday (which is tomorrow - same day as Mother's Day). I know that sounds totally selfish, which is why I'm embarrassed to admit it. And really it is not about receiving a material item, it is about acknowledgement.

My dad had a stroke back in February. He was in the hospital, then rehab, and has now been at home for a couple months. So I totally, totally get that there are much bigger, more important things for my parents to think about than my birthday.

My dad has made a really good recovery (which is really the only thing I want or would ever ask for.)

But the thing that makes my parent's oversight hurt, is that my husband's birthday was recently, and my they did something very lovely for him. Which again, I am really happy and thankful that they treat my husband well and love him as much as I do.

Since my father's stroke, I've given up my work and my home life to help my parents and be there with them through my dad's hospitalization (taking care of my mom, cooking, cleaning, giving her love and moral support) and then again to help when my dad came home from the hospital, caring for him and helping with rehab, cooking, etc. I've flown back and forth from TX to MD over and over again during a pandemic before I was eligible for the vaccine. And then pulled every string I could think of to get the vaccine early so that I would be healthy to continue to care for them.

Of course I would all of this again in a heartbeat because they are my parents and I love them and I just want them well and happy. I don't expect praise or thank yous or anything.

But it does sting to be overlooked on my birthday when my husband (who did not provide any direct help for them) was remembered on his birthday. Makes me feel taken for granted.

I sent my mom a giant bouquet of antique roses for Mother's Day and they arrived on Wednesday and she sent me a text saying how much she loves them and how great they smell.

I'm sorry if this post sounds self absorbed. I'm just feeling hurt, and I need to release the feelings in a way that I don't tell anyone IRL. So thanks for listening.

Happy Birthday! and Happy Mother's Day. I totally understand you're feeling hurt and overlooked, and I am so sorry.

Perhaps you need an OH sapphire and diamond pin to make you feel loved?
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
27,239
I'm feeling ashamed to admit this, but I'm hurt because my parents didn't send even a small gift this year for my birthday (which is tomorrow - same day as Mother's Day). I know that sounds totally selfish, which is why I'm embarrassed to admit it. And really it is not about receiving a material item, it is about acknowledgement.

My dad had a stroke back in February. He was in the hospital, then rehab, and has now been at home for a couple months. So I totally, totally get that there are much bigger, more important things for my parents to think about than my birthday.

My dad has made a really good recovery (which is really the only thing I want or would ever ask for.)

But the thing that makes my parent's oversight hurt, is that my husband's birthday was recently, and they did something lovely and thoughtful for him. Which again, I am really happy and thankful that they treat my husband well and love him as much as I do.

Since my father's stroke, I've given up my work and my home life to help my parents and be there with them through my dad's hospitalization (taking care of my mom, cooking, cleaning, giving her love and moral support) and then again to help when my dad came home from the hospital, caring for him and helping with rehab, cooking, etc. I've flown back and forth from TX to MD over and over again during a pandemic before I was eligible for the vaccine. And then pulled every string I could think of to get the vaccine early so that I would be healthy to continue to care for them. I've put on hold (basically given up) a position on a board of directors that I've worked for ten years to attain and that means a lot to me.

Of course I would all of this again in a heartbeat because they are my parents and I love them and I just want them well and happy. I don't expect praise or thank yous or anything.

But it does sting to be overlooked on my birthday when my husband (who did not provide any direct help to them or have his life changed in any way) was remembered on his birthday. Makes me feel taken for granted.

I sent my mom a giant bouquet of antique roses for Mother's Day and they arrived on Wednesday and she sent me a text saying how much she loves them and how great they smell.

I'm sorry if this post sounds self absorbed. I'm just feeling hurt, and I need to release the feelings in a way that I don't tell anyone IRL. So thanks for listening.

Big HUGS today and tomorrow!!

You feel how you feel, and you don’t sound self absorbed at all, just hurt because you‘re feeling overlooked this year. Because you actually have, a bit.

I know it doesn’t help, but I’m sure your parents are so grateful to have you as their daughter, and I think they would be horrified to learn that they’ve hurt you. Which is of course why you won’t tell them.

Your feelings, as well as your decision to talk about them here rather than let them stew, are the products of generosity and maturity and I can’t imagine anyone finding fault with you ❤️

Happy birthday and happy Mother’s Day!!! From one PSer to another :love:
 

RunningwithScissors

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
3,699
Happy Birthday! and Happy Mother's Day. I totally understand you're feeling hurt and overlooked, and I am so sorry.

Perhaps you need an OH sapphire and diamond pin to make you feel loved?

Thanks Collier, that's a lovely brooch. :) You are very kind to remember how much I adore OH!
 

Mekp

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 15, 2016
Messages
405
I have something to share, but its not exactly a "tacky" gift.

I'm feeling ashamed to admit this, but I'm hurt because my parents didn't send even a small gift this year for my birthday (which is tomorrow - same day as Mother's Day). I know that sounds totally selfish, which is why I'm embarrassed to admit it. And really it is not about receiving a material item, it is about acknowledgement.

My dad had a stroke back in February. He was in the hospital, then rehab, and has now been at home for a couple months. So I totally, totally get that there are much bigger, more important things for my parents to think about than my birthday.

My dad has made a really good recovery (which is really the only thing I want or would ever ask for.)

But the thing that makes my parent's oversight hurt, is that my husband's birthday was recently, and they did something lovely and thoughtful for him. Which again, I am really happy and thankful that they treat my husband well and love him as much as I do.

Since my father's stroke, I've given up my work and my home life to help my parents and be there with them through my dad's hospitalization (taking care of my mom, cooking, cleaning, giving her love and moral support) and then again to help when my dad came home from the hospital, caring for him and helping with rehab, cooking, etc. I've flown back and forth from TX to MD over and over again during a pandemic before I was eligible for the vaccine. And then pulled every string I could think of to get the vaccine early so that I would be healthy to continue to care for them. I've put on hold (basically given up) a position on a board of directors that I've worked for ten years to attain and that means a lot to me.

Of course I would all of this again in a heartbeat because they are my parents and I love them and I just want them well and happy. I don't expect praise or thank yous or anything.

But it does sting to be overlooked on my birthday when my husband (who did not provide any direct help to them or have his life changed in any way) was remembered on his birthday. Makes me feel taken for granted.

I sent my mom a giant bouquet of antique roses for Mother's Day and they arrived on Wednesday and she sent me a text saying how much she loves them and how great they smell.

I'm sorry if this post sounds self absorbed. I'm just feeling hurt, and I need to release the feelings in a way that I don't tell anyone IRL. So thanks for listening.

Happy Birthday! Happy Mother's Day.

You sound like a wonderful daughter, they are lucky to have you.

I understand why their oversight hurts.
 

RunningwithScissors

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
3,699
Big HUGS today and tomorrow!!

You feel how you feel, and you don’t sound self absorbed at all, just hurt because you‘re feeling overlooked this year. Because you actually have, a bit.

I know it doesn’t help, but I’m sure your parents are so grateful to have you as their daughter, and I think they would be horrified to learn that they’ve hurt you. Which is of course why you won’t tell them.

Your feelings, as well as your decision to talk about them here rather than let them stew, are the products of generosity and maturity and I can’t imagine anyone finding fault with you ❤️

Happy birthday and happy Mother’s Day!!! From one PSer to another :love:

Thank you Yssie, your kind note made me tear up.
 

RunningwithScissors

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
3,699
Happy Birthday! Happy Mother's Day.

You sound like a wonderful daughter, they are lucky to have you.

I understand why their oversight hurts.

Thanks Mekp. You are very kind. :)
 

RunningwithScissors

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
3,699
I think I'm just feeling completely emotionally and physically exhausted. 2021 has been a really difficult year so far, first with part of my house collapsing from the TX winter storm, then my dad's stroke and flying back and forth to Maryland to help them and staying up all hours to try to get work done in the cracks, and having the Executive Director of an important art organization be flamingly angry with me for having to take time off so soon after starting to care for my father, to struggling with health issues of my own that I haven't had time to fully address because there hasn't been any extra time for self care. Oh and yesterday I found a friend and long time collector of my work died.

I just feel like a total wreck and want to curl up in a fetal position and cry. (Actually I am crying now, but its from the kind and loving responses from strangers on PS.)
 

MamaBee

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2018
Messages
14,480
I have something to share, but its not exactly a "tacky" gift.

I'm feeling ashamed to admit this, but I'm hurt because my parents didn't send even a small gift this year for my birthday (which is tomorrow - same day as Mother's Day). I know that sounds totally selfish, which is why I'm embarrassed to admit it. And really it is not about receiving a material item, it is about acknowledgement.

My dad had a stroke back in February. He was in the hospital, then rehab, and has now been at home for a couple months. So I totally, totally get that there are much bigger, more important things for my parents to think about than my birthday.

My dad has made a really good recovery (which is really the only thing I want or would ever ask for.)

But the thing that makes my parent's oversight hurt, is that my husband's birthday was recently, and they did something lovely and thoughtful for him. Which again, I am really happy and thankful that they treat my husband well and love him as much as I do.

Since my father's stroke, I've given up my work and my home life to help my parents and be there with them through my dad's hospitalization (taking care of my mom, cooking, cleaning, giving her love and moral support) and then again to help when my dad came home from the hospital, caring for him and helping with rehab, cooking, etc. I've flown back and forth from TX to MD over and over again during a pandemic before I was eligible for the vaccine. And then pulled every string I could think of to get the vaccine early so that I would be healthy to continue to care for them. I've put on hold (basically given up) a position on a board of directors that I've worked for ten years to attain and that means a lot to me.

Of course I would all of this again in a heartbeat because they are my parents and I love them and I just want them well and happy. I don't expect praise or thank yous or anything.

But it does sting to be overlooked on my birthday when my husband (who did not provide any direct help to them or have his life changed in any way) was remembered on his birthday. Makes me feel taken for granted.

I sent my mom a giant bouquet of antique roses for Mother's Day and they arrived on Wednesday and she sent me a text saying how much she loves them and how great they smell.

I'm sorry if this post sounds self absorbed. I'm just feeling hurt, and I need to release the feelings in a way that I don't tell anyone IRL. So thanks for listening.

You are the best daughter and person to put them first. You have gone above and beyond to help them during your dad’s recovery. I’m so sorry they didn’t remember you on your birthday. Happy Birthday from your fellow bling sister. ❤️
 

Mreader

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
6,065
@RunningwithScissors Happy Birthday and I am so sorry that you feel so overwhelmed (and overlooked - which isn't selfish at all! I would feel the same way!). I am so sorry about what is going on, and I hope you might be able to talk to your parents about it. I can understand why you don't want to, but it may feel good to get it off your chest. Hugs to you.
 

Fabulous50

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
606
I think I'm just feeling completely emotionally and physically exhausted. 2021 has been a really difficult year so far, first with part of my house collapsing from the TX winter storm, then my dad's stroke and flying back and forth to Maryland to help them and staying up all hours to try to get work done in the cracks, and having the Executive Director of an important art organization be flamingly angry with me for having to take time off so soon after starting to care for my father, to struggling with health issues of my own that I haven't had time to fully address because there hasn't been any extra time for self care. Oh and yesterday I found a friend and long time collector of my work died.

I just feel like a total wreck and want to curl up in a fetal position and cry. (Actually I am crying now, but its from the kind and loving responses from strangers on PS.)

Wow, @RunningwithScissors, I would be curled up in the fetal position from all of that as well! I agree with the other posters that you sound like a wonderful daughter, friend and person in general. Sounds like a lot of difficult and sad events all at once!! I hope things start to get better asap.

Happy birthday!! :wavey:
 

canuk-gal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 19, 2004
Messages
25,644
Gentle hugs to you @RunningwithScissors ! You're a wonderful daughter, great person and incredibly strong to have accomplished all this. We're here to Iisten!

+ a billion.

Of course you are exhausted emotionally and physically. Take some time for yourself and refill that bucket.

And when the dust settles, I am certain your board will be happy to have such a resilient and compassionate person with whom to work. I'm cheering for you!
 

carbonfan

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 12, 2015
Messages
1,079
I have something to share, but its not exactly a "tacky" gift.

I'm feeling ashamed to admit this, but I'm hurt because my parents didn't send even a small gift this year for my birthday (which is tomorrow - same day as Mother's Day). I know that sounds totally selfish, which is why I'm embarrassed to admit it. And really it is not about receiving a material item, it is about acknowledgement.

My dad had a stroke back in February. He was in the hospital, then rehab, and has now been at home for a couple months. So I totally, totally get that there are much bigger, more important things for my parents to think about than my birthday.

My dad has made a really good recovery (which is really the only thing I want or would ever ask for.)

But the thing that makes my parent's oversight hurt, is that my husband's birthday was recently, and they did something lovely and thoughtful for him. Which again, I am really happy and thankful that they treat my husband well and love him as much as I do.

Since my father's stroke, I've given up my work and my home life to help my parents and be there with them through my dad's hospitalization (taking care of my mom, cooking, cleaning, giving her love and moral support) and then again to help when my dad came home from the hospital, caring for him and helping with rehab, cooking, etc. I've flown back and forth from TX to MD over and over again during a pandemic before I was eligible for the vaccine. And then pulled every string I could think of to get the vaccine early so that I would be healthy to continue to care for them. I've put on hold (basically given up) a position on a board of directors that I've worked for ten years to attain and that means a lot to me.

Of course I would all of this again in a heartbeat because they are my parents and I love them and I just want them well and happy. I don't expect praise or thank yous or anything.

But it does sting to be overlooked on my birthday when my husband (who did not provide any direct help to them or have his life changed in any way) was remembered on his birthday. Makes me feel taken for granted.

I sent my mom a giant bouquet of antique roses for Mother's Day and they arrived on Wednesday and she sent me a text saying how much she loves them and how great they smell.

I'm sorry if this post sounds self absorbed. I'm just feeling hurt, and I need to release the feelings in a way that I don't tell anyone IRL. So thanks for listening.

Happy early birthday, @RunningwithScissors! And I echo others in conveying that your parents are so very fortunate to have you in their lives, which are only enriched by your kindness, generosity, and conscientious care. And I think your feelings are completely understandable, as we are only human, after all! I can relate to what you expressed as my father is in the mid-to-late stage of dementia and I tend to him on a regular basis, yet when I take care of his needs or his "to do list" he responds with a grunt, or "that's great," and never a simple thank you. And it is difficult to carry on the simplest of conversations with him these days. I recognize that it is the disease that has stolen this from him (and from me) and that in his heart of hearts he would want to be warm, caring, and communicative, but he literally *can't* do this at this stage. And I realize that everything I do for my dad is really for me as well, because I care, and so I can look back and know that I did all that I could. And I don't really need any gratitude from him because I am content knowing that I did my best for him. But it still hurts. So I understand all that you expressed. I totally get it!

And I don't know about your parent's current states, but with my dad, memory is completely erratic these days. He can recite every word of a poem he wrote in the 4th grade, but he can't remember his grandchildren's names. It is a wicked disease, and I would venture to guess that there are some parallels with those who have experienced strokes. Neural circuitry is such a delicate thing, and once there is an imbalance it seems like the neurons fire in the most random of fashions. There really is nothing rational about it. So I try not to take things too personally, even though it still hurts on some level.

And what I would add is that you are entitled to feel everything that you feel, to curl up in a ball, to cry or scream of take the longest of bubble baths, because all of that is completely okay. I have been watching my dad gradually fade away for several years and even though I know he cannot help the way that he is, his interactional style (or lack thereof) still stings. There is not a playbook for this stuff. But you are an angel here on earth for giving so freely of yourself, and that says everything about who you are. And I hope that at some point in the future you will be acknowledged in the most meaningful of ways, and that this crazy oversight on their part will be but a distant memory! Thank you for sharing, and just for the record, I think you should find every way to indulge tomorrow!!! (((Hugs)))
 
Last edited:

Daisys and Diamonds

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
22,496
I’m so terrified of them! I once had one fly into my hair. It got stuck. This happened over thirty years ago but I was traumatized by it. It made an awful sound. They’re huge! I’m going to stay home during their invasion. I have to walk my dog but it will be the fastest run to the grass to do his business. They last about six weeks.

I don't mind them, compaired to wettas they are rather pretty
i saw a sparrow up close one day having one for lunch and the wings are beautiful
But i totally get how you got put off having one in your hair

We now know to never ever bring the washing in if its dark already
Because next thing you know they are hidding in your sheets and towels and they wake you up at 3am walking over you
So This is definatly not me ! 7037834.jpg 220px-Deinacrida_rugosa_female.jpg

Once i one got on my handbag as i waited for the train
the train guard got it out for me
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
22,496
I have something to share, but its not exactly a "tacky" gift.

I'm feeling ashamed to admit this, but I'm hurt because my parents didn't send even a small gift this year for my birthday (which is tomorrow - same day as Mother's Day). I know that sounds totally selfish, which is why I'm embarrassed to admit it. And really it is not about receiving a material item, it is about acknowledgement.

My dad had a stroke back in February. He was in the hospital, then rehab, and has now been at home for a couple months. So I totally, totally get that there are much bigger, more important things for my parents to think about than my birthday.

My dad has made a really good recovery (which is really the only thing I want or would ever ask for.)

But the thing that makes my parent's oversight hurt, is that my husband's birthday was recently, and they did something lovely and thoughtful for him. Which again, I am really happy and thankful that they treat my husband well and love him as much as I do.

Since my father's stroke, I've given up my work and my home life to help my parents and be there with them through my dad's hospitalization (taking care of my mom, cooking, cleaning, giving her love and moral support) and then again to help when my dad came home from the hospital, caring for him and helping with rehab, cooking, etc. I've flown back and forth from TX to MD over and over again during a pandemic before I was eligible for the vaccine. And then pulled every string I could think of to get the vaccine early so that I would be healthy to continue to care for them. I've put on hold (basically given up) a position on a board of directors that I've worked for ten years to attain and that means a lot to me.

Of course I would all of this again in a heartbeat because they are my parents and I love them and I just want them well and happy. I don't expect praise or thank yous or anything.

But it does sting to be overlooked on my birthday when my husband (who did not provide any direct help to them or have his life changed in any way) was remembered on his birthday. Makes me feel taken for granted.

I sent my mom a giant bouquet of antique roses for Mother's Day and they arrived on Wednesday and she sent me a text saying how much she loves them and how great they smell.

I'm sorry if this post sounds self absorbed. I'm just feeling hurt, and I need to release the feelings in a way that I don't tell anyone IRL. So thanks for listening.

Group hug for your birthday 063f6cdf82c50f4a2208f361e8d8bd90.jpg
Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed , its ok to admit to us you have hurt feelings because your parents didnt acknowledge your birthday
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
22,496
Happy early birthday, @RunningwithScissors! And I echo others in conveying that your parents are so very fortunate to have you in their lives, which are only enriched by your kindness, generosity, and conscientious care. And I think your feelings are completely understandable, as we are only human, after all! I can relate to what you expressed as my father is in the mid-to-late stage of dementia and I tend to him on a regular basis, yet when I take care of his needs or his "to do list" he responds with a grunt, or "that's great," and never a simple thank you. And it is difficult to carry on the simplest of conversations with him these days. I recognize that it is the disease that has stolen this from him (and from me) and that in his heart of hearts he would want to be warm, caring, and communicative, but he literally *can't* do this at this stage. And I realize that everything I do for my dad is really for me as well, because I care, and so I can look back and know that I did all that I could. And I don't really need any gratitude from him because I am content knowing that I did my best for him. But it still hurts. So I understand all that you expressed. I totally get it!

And I don't know about your parent's current states, but with my dad, memory is completely erratic these days. He can recite every word of a poem he wrote in the 4th grade, but he can't remember his grandchildren's names. It is a wicked disease, and I would venture to guess that there are some parallels with those who have experienced strokes. Neural circuitry is such a delicate thing, and once there is an imbalance it seems like the neurons fire in the most random of fashions. There really is nothing rational about it. So I try not to take things too personally, even though it still hurts on some level.

And what I would add is that you are entitled to feel everything that you feel, to curl up in a ball, to cry or scream of take the longest of bubble baths, because all of that is completely okay. I have been watching my dad gradually fade away for several years and even though I know he cannot help the way that he is, his interactional style (or lack thereof) still stings. There is not a playbook for this stuff. But you are an angel here on earth for giving so freely of yourself, and that says everything about who you are. And I hope that at some point in the future you will be acknowledged in the most meaningful of ways, and that this crazy oversight on their part will be but a distant memory! Thank you for sharing, and just for the record, I think you should find every way to indulge tomorrow!!! (((Hugs)))

Im so sorry your dad has dementia
After my mum and father in law going through it a few years ago now, looking back worst thing is how it robs people of their empathy and their caring for others
Try to remember your dad how he was before

Im so sorry for your family and of course your dad
 

Garnetgirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 7, 2014
Messages
2,140
Don’t feel ashamed @RunningwithScissors.
You are a wonderful daughter to your parents and are doing so much for them. Your feelings about being forgotten are perfectly normal. My heart breaks for you.
Wishing you a Happy Birthday. I hope your parents remember soon.
 
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