Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Happy LIW, no rescue from Delusional Echo Chamber required

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,794
*Note: due to the recent concerns over the happy LIWs being under-represented in this subforum, it''s time for an update from your #1 LIW lister.

My update is as follows:

I have learned that there are 2 good things about where I live; my FF, and warm weather. I''ve seen snow 3 days since I got here, and it will be a year at the end of May. I walked to work in shirtsleeves for almost the entire winter, because it was too hot for a coat. Thassright. Too hot for a coat. So when my Canadian friends were reveling in their progressive society smugness, I at least got to shoot back that it was summer temperatures chez nous whereas they were in snow up to their statistically-per-capita-leaner behinds.

Since October, I have been working in the ''pink ghetto'' (google this term if you haven''t heard of it before, it''s not a socio-economic or other type of slur, it''s an actual term for call center type jobs, not coined by me) and unfortunately have been stuck on truly abysmal shifts that end at 10pm at the earliest to midnight at the latest. FF teaches 8am classes, which means he''s up by 6:30am, and as such he''s already asleep before I get home, and I''ve only been asleep for a few hours by the time he wakes up. This has caused a lot of frustration and heartache for us, because I didn''t move to his country to see him during my 50 minute lunches and occasionally for a few hours on my random days off each week if he happens to be at home instead of the lab and not buried behind a stack of papers and books.

Lurve in a Time of Doctorates is not an easy thing. (Can I get a wut wuuuuttt from the ladies out there who have been in graduate student relationships?)

However, there have been broken promises made at work involving upcoming schedule request opportunities that have yet to materialize, but if they do appear and I end up reasonably ranked when it comes time to grant requests based on order of performance, I could end up with a decent schedule that would not only allow me to see my partner for more than a few hours every week, but also allow for things like laundry while he''s awake and gym time. I seem to be heading for a faceplant on 30 and I''d prefer to be a little less unhealthy when I land. Even if it''s going to be face-first.

I have also learned that the health care system, despite all my paranoia, is actually much worse than I imagined.
Between the shenanigans my employer has pulled and the health insurance company''s antics, I realize that for all the posturing and preening, there is an endless supply of money to be made off health care, because people will always get sick, and have no choice but to pay up. Employers will strut and puff out their feathers about how generous they are to offer benefits but then do everything they can to get out of making good on their promises.

That being said, I have a lovely doctor who is a fellow Canadian transplant, and I am now on thyroid medication at last! I am having to pay out of pocket for many, many things, but it is a relief to have my condition substantiated. I had a lot of improvement in my symptoms in the first week or two, but regressed after that, so we''re currently on a little dosage-tweaking safari.

I''ll avoid going into the culture shock stories to avoid offending any of the lovely ladies from my current neck of the woods.
Suffice to say, O Canada, my lost home of sanity, my heart beats hard for thee. I''m feelin'' some true patriot love right about now. (If you''re not familiar with the Canadian national anthem, ignore the previous two sentences.)

However, for the rare moments that I do see the man for whom I left home, country, family, friends, and civilization behind, I''m totally, blissfully happy. I''m in no rush to get engaged; I know it will happen when it happens and that it''s a matter of ''when'', not ''if''. Living together has really taken the pressure off, and we''re just enjoying being in physical proximity. I''m getting used to the idea of ending up married, and am much less hysterical and claustrophobic at the idea. I''m not sure how life managed to plonk this man into the middle of my picture, but dang am I glad it happened. He''s pretty unbelievably spiffy. Wish we could spend more time together; I''m not putting up with all this garbage because I have a taste for it, I''m doing it for the guy! Texas isn''t easy on him either, but I feel like we''ve settled into being our own little unit. Us against the world, Bonnie and Clyde, yo! ;-) In all seriousness, though, I feel a comfort in knowing we are a cohesive partnership.

Makes me reflect on how so many couples get caught up on waiting for the ring, the debt from the car, the house, the colonization of the moon, whatever it may be. The only things people need to get done before they get married is any work that needs to be done on the relationship itself.

Also, as time has worn on, I''ve completely fallen for my placeholder ring (see avatar) and I am kind of reluctant to replace it with a real engagement ring; yet another reason not to get too anxious about the engagement!
Right now, my focus is on working and climbing the ladder, his is on his PhD. In a few years, he''ll be doing his turn as an AF psychologist and when that''s over, our student debts will be completely clean. Once neither of us has any debt, perhaps then I can entertain the idea of splurging money on a sparklie ...


One thing this process has taught me is that life is ultimately about tradeoffs. I chose the guy. I''m happy. Everything else is insignificant details.
 

jcarlylew

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 27, 2008
Messages
3,899
Date: 4/3/2009 5:12:56 AM
Author: LaraOnline
Love it!
ditto! I'm glad, despite the obvious downsides, that you are still able to find the good in everything!!

eta - i never heard of pink ghetto, but apparently that is what i have been working most my life. now if there was not such a bad connotation associated with it, i would actually like the term. plus, i like pink
 

Lauren8211

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
11,073
Glad to hear things are going well, Gala!
 

NakedFinger

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 8, 2009
Messages
690

Galateia- Although I've never met you, I am pretty sure I would adore you! Based on your diction, creativity with words, and your delightful sarcasm (that I am known for as well lol), I really enjoy reading what you have to say. Love your post!



(PS: I am in NYC. I had a friend who lived on Park Ave with her wall street husband, and had to move to Texas because he got a job opportunity that he couldn't possibly pass up. I spent many a night listening to her sobs of "culture shock" to say the least, so I sympathize for you babe).
Glad to here you are handling it ok! We do crazy things for love, and moving to parts unknown is no exception!


ETA: BTW, I wasnt on PS when you said you were here the first time. So I have only come to see your posts within the last week or so of you being back. Hence my sentiments at this point in time.
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
Gala....

I
you.

ETA: Wut wuuuut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

mrscushion

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2008
Messages
3,309
What a great post. You're really funny! Thanks for the update
 

kama_s

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
3,617
From one proud Canadian to another: I really really enjoyed reading your post! You have a wonderful outlook, and you seem so level-headed. Good for you!


And joining Freke: W00t! W00t!
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
Date: 4/3/2009 10:46:46 AM
Author: kama_s
From one proud Canadian to another: I really really enjoyed reading your post! You have a wonderful outlook, and you seem so level-headed. Good for you!


And joining Freke: W00t! W00t!
DITTO, kama just put it best! (all but being a canadian part...)
 

EricaR

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 3, 2007
Messages
2,392
I wonder what happens when you yell ''Wut wuuuut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" in a Delusional Echo Chamber? I think you''d end up with a headache!
 

Guilty Pleasure

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2008
Messages
1,114
Where in Texas are you?


I know what you mean about transplant shock mixed with bliss. I am from Houston and lived in Dallas for a few years before moving to south Texas to be with my fiance. This city is NOT my cup of tea, and I miss all my friends and my "life", but I am happier than I have ever been because I am near him and we have the best time together.
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
Date: 4/3/2009 11:16:12 AM
Author: EricaR
I wonder what happens when you yell 'Wut wuuuut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' in a Delusional Echo Chamber? I think you'd end up with a headache!
I think if you yelled anything in a Delusional Echo Chamber, you'd get a headache. Or even if you just said anything.
 

ladypirate

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 30, 2007
Messages
4,553
You guys should move to Portland--we''re a lot more progressive up here!



Plus, it''s all part of my master plan to get everyone awesome to move here. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
Is Seattle close enough?

And if you tempt me with salmon and rain, I''ll pretty much go anywhere...

(Besides, you guys will already have a room for me...when can I pick my paint colors?!)
 

ladypirate

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 30, 2007
Messages
4,553
Date: 4/3/2009 11:47:49 AM
Author: FrekeChild
Is Seattle close enough?

And if you tempt me with salmon and rain, I'll pretty much go anywhere...

(Besides, you guys will already have a room for me...when can I pick my paint colors?!)
I'd totally let you get away with Seattle--one of my best friends already lives there, so we go up to visit relatively frequently.

Oh man, the GTGs would be EPIC.

ETA: LOL on the paint colors--we haven't even officially put the offer in yet! Can't wait for Monday.......
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
Now WHY do you have to wait for MONDAY?! That''s a whole 3 days away (kinda)!!!

I WANNA PICK MY PAINT COLORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh man, I better stop whining...

(BTW, sorry Gala for the random threadjack!!!)
 

ilovesparkles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
2,389
Date: 4/3/2009 4:57:11 AM
Author:Galateia
*Note: due to the recent concerns over the happy LIWs being under-represented in this subforum, it''s time for an update from your #1 LIW lister.

My update is as follows:

I have learned that there are 2 good things about where I live; my FF, and warm weather. I''ve seen snow 3 days since I got here, and it will be a year at the end of May. I walked to work in shirtsleeves for almost the entire winter, because it was too hot for a coat. Thassright. Too hot for a coat. So when my Canadian friends were reveling in their progressive society smugness, I at least got to shoot back that it was summer temperatures chez nous whereas they were in snow up to their statistically-per-capita-leaner behinds.

Since October, I have been working in the ''pink ghetto'' (google this term if you haven''t heard of it before, it''s not a socio-economic or other type of slur, it''s an actual term for call center type jobs, not coined by me) and unfortunately have been stuck on truly abysmal shifts that end at 10pm at the earliest to midnight at the latest. FF teaches 8am classes, which means he''s up by 6:30am, and as such he''s already asleep before I get home, and I''ve only been asleep for a few hours by the time he wakes up. This has caused a lot of frustration and heartache for us, because I didn''t move to his country to see him during my 50 minute lunches and occasionally for a few hours on my random days off each week if he happens to be at home instead of the lab and not buried behind a stack of papers and books.

Lurve in a Time of Doctorates is not an easy thing. (Can I get a wut wuuuuttt from the ladies out there who have been in graduate student relationships?)

However, there have been broken promises made at work involving upcoming schedule request opportunities that have yet to materialize, but if they do appear and I end up reasonably ranked when it comes time to grant requests based on order of performance, I could end up with a decent schedule that would not only allow me to see my partner for more than a few hours every week, but also allow for things like laundry while he''s awake and gym time. I seem to be heading for a faceplant on 30 and I''d prefer to be a little less unhealthy when I land. Even if it''s going to be face-first.

I have also learned that the health care system, despite all my paranoia, is actually much worse than I imagined.
Between the shenanigans my employer has pulled and the health insurance company''s antics, I realize that for all the posturing and preening, there is an endless supply of money to be made off health care, because people will always get sick, and have no choice but to pay up. Employers will strut and puff out their feathers about how generous they are to offer benefits but then do everything they can to get out of making good on their promises.

That being said, I have a lovely doctor who is a fellow Canadian transplant, and I am now on thyroid medication at last! I am having to pay out of pocket for many, many things, but it is a relief to have my condition substantiated. I had a lot of improvement in my symptoms in the first week or two, but regressed after that, so we''re currently on a little dosage-tweaking safari.

I''ll avoid going into the culture shock stories to avoid offending any of the lovely ladies from my current neck of the woods.
Suffice to say, O Canada, my lost home of sanity, my heart beats hard for thee. I''m feelin'' some true patriot love right about now. (If you''re not familiar with the Canadian national anthem, ignore the previous two sentences.)

However, for the rare moments that I do see the man for whom I left home, country, family, friends, and civilization behind, I''m totally, blissfully happy. I''m in no rush to get engaged; I know it will happen when it happens and that it''s a matter of ''when'', not ''if''. Living together has really taken the pressure off, and we''re just enjoying being in physical proximity. I''m getting used to the idea of ending up married, and am much less hysterical and claustrophobic at the idea. I''m not sure how life managed to plonk this man into the middle of my picture, but dang am I glad it happened. He''s pretty unbelievably spiffy. Wish we could spend more time together; I''m not putting up with all this garbage because I have a taste for it, I''m doing it for the guy! Texas isn''t easy on him either, but I feel like we''ve settled into being our own little unit. Us against the world, Bonnie and Clyde, yo! ;-) In all seriousness, though, I feel a comfort in knowing we are a cohesive partnership.

Makes me reflect on how so many couples get caught up on waiting for the ring, the debt from the car, the house, the colonization of the moon, whatever it may be. The only things people need to get done before they get married is any work that needs to be done on the relationship itself.

Also, as time has worn on, I''ve completely fallen for my placeholder ring (see avatar) and I am kind of reluctant to replace it with a real engagement ring; yet another reason not to get too anxious about the engagement!
Right now, my focus is on working and climbing the ladder, his is on his PhD. In a few years, he''ll be doing his turn as an AF psychologist and when that''s over, our student debts will be completely clean. Once neither of us has any debt, perhaps then I can entertain the idea of splurging money on a sparklie ...


One thing this process has taught me is that life is ultimately about tradeoffs. I chose the guy. I''m happy. Everything else is insignificant details.
Isn''t it the truth. Now there are some horrible insurance companies and some really good ones. But overall, they don''t know what they are talking about! Ugh. I also work in healthcare and understand where you are coming from.

I also am moving from the Twin Cities in MN to Omaha NE, to most boring state in the US. I am trying to prepare myself.

What a great post, this was absolutely wonderful to read over my lunch hour on this dismal day!
 

trillionaire

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
3,881
Loves it. I am also trying to achieve the local relationship thing so that we can be done with LDR and enjoy local living while I finish my doctorate. Glad to hear it is working out for you!

And welcome back, long time no see!
 

somegirl932

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
311
That was awesome to read. We''re going to hit the LDR thing next year when I move out to (hopefully) Seattle to start working and my SO is stuck finishing grad work in Illinois.

Good to see others come out of it so positively.
 

Vancity

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 26, 2009
Messages
262
*singing at the top of my lungs!*

Official Lyrics of O Canada

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee!!!

For you, Galateia ~ from a fellow Canadian


Ally



 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
40,198
Date: 4/3/2009 4:57:11 AM
Author:Galateia


.)

However, for the rare moments that I do see the man for whom I left home, country, family, friends, and civilization behind, I''m totally, blissfully happy. I''m in no rush to get engaged; I know it will happen when it happens and that it''s a matter of ''when'', not ''if''. Living together has really taken the pressure off, and we''re just enjoying being in physical proximity. I''m getting used to the idea of ending up married, and am much less hysterical and claustrophobic at the idea. I''m not sure how life managed to plonk this man into the middle of my picture, but dang am I glad it happened. He''s pretty unbelievably spiffy. Wish we could spend more time together; I''m not putting up with all this garbage because I have a taste for it, I''m doing it for the guy! Texas isn''t easy on him either, but I feel like we''ve settled into being our own little unit. Us against the world, Bonnie and Clyde, yo! ;-) In all seriousness, though, I feel a comfort in knowing we are a cohesive partnership.

Makes me reflect on how so many couples get caught up on waiting for the ring, the debt from the car, the house, the colonization of the moon, whatever it may be. The only things people need to get done before they get married is any work that needs to be done on the relationship itself.



One thing this process has taught me is that life is ultimately about tradeoffs. I chose the guy. I''m happy. Everything else is insignificant details.
Galateia, I am so happy to read your update! Funny, and smart and so very wise. Though I woulld personally have loved to hear transplant tales!!!

I''m so glad things are going so well for you as you deserve the best.
 

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,794
Y''know, replying to everyone individually is something that requires more mental dexterity than readily available at the moment. Can I get away with a general thank you and an addressing of individual questions?


Heck yeah, my graduate-studies-afflicted sisters! Wut wut! Simple things like going to the grocery store for, y''know, food and soap takes a week''s planning in advance to work around our schedules. He''ll go on his own, of course, but picks up random things that do not necessarily help with repopulating our larder and pantry with edible staples.

What I may have failed to hint strongly enough at was the, er, added scarcity of a certain mammalian need which requires both parties to be reasonably conscious at the time. If you catch my meaning.



NakedFinger and Guilty Pleasure, I moved from one of the cities clumped around Toronto (with accompanying culture) to west Texas. Lubbock, in fact, which is famous for a documentary called The Education of Shelby Knox; I draw your attention to the signs that the protesters are carrying on the main street of Lubbock in one of the accompanying photos. Lubbock appears to be still struggling with the civil rights movement, let alone the other rights and freedoms that have since been brought to light in the last 50 years. The attitudes here are so provincial and behind the times that we are getting situations like this: "A fourteen year-old junior high school student tested positive for HIV and infected several other students with the virus." (quote from that link). It astonishes me that of my training class, half of my fellow trainees were clearly missing teeth. Teeth may be a strange thing to focus on, but it shows how poorly educated and financially stressed people are here. I am astonished at how many young mothers there are here, and sadly, it''s usually girls from the visible minorities who are most openly discriminated against in this area. Like I said, it''s like Lubbock is 50 years behind everywhere else.

Gypsy, sadly most of the transplant tales are along the vein of the preceding paragraph. However, there was a moment where I saw a confederate flag tramp stamp and went all "Toto, RUN FOR OUR LIVES!"
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
A CONFEDERATE FLAG TRAMP STAMP?!

 

ladypirate

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 30, 2007
Messages
4,553
Date: 4/3/2009 4:18:32 PM
Author: FrekeChild
A CONFEDERATE FLAG TRAMP STAMP?!

Ditto this.
 

sunnyd

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
7,353
Date: 4/3/2009 11:49:18 AM
Author: ladypirate

Date: 4/3/2009 11:47:49 AM
Author: FrekeChild
Is Seattle close enough?

And if you tempt me with salmon and rain, I''ll pretty much go anywhere...

(Besides, you guys will already have a room for me...when can I pick my paint colors?!)
I''d totally let you get away with Seattle--one of my best friends already lives there, so we go up to visit relatively frequently.

Oh man, the GTGs would be EPIC.

ETA: LOL on the paint colors--we haven''t even officially put the offer in yet! Can''t wait for Monday.......
Wooooo Seattlite Canadian transplant in tha houuuuuse!
Spark and us could go to Luly Yang every weekend!
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
Love reading your posts Galateia! Stick around more!
 

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,794
Date: 4/3/2009 4:59:57 PM
Author: sunnyd
Date: 4/3/2009 4:20:32 PM

Author: ladypirate


Date: 4/3/2009 4:18:32 PM

Author: FrekeChild

A CONFEDERATE FLAG TRAMP STAMP?!


Ditto this.
Oh. Oh no.
Ladies, you don't know the half of it.


The south will RISE again, eh? How about the waistband of those pants RISE so you don't look like a rodeo buckle bunny?

Even the gay bar has men wearing cowboy wear non-ironically; no sequins on the cowboy hats, denim not tight, and the pool table was being used for a pool game and all the guys were staring intently at the game and not at the behind of the man taking the shot. Blew. My. Mind. I've been to plenty of gay bars, but the cowboy hats were pink and sparkly, the chaps were a$$less, and the denim was painted on. Sometimes literally painted on with no actual cloth involved.

Ever seen a tv clip of the court house featuring a somber group of lawyers heading to court in formal suit dress that includes black cowboy hats?
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!
    Three-stone engagement ring upgrade
    Three-stone engagement ring upgrade
    Vintage OEC Bracelet
    Vintage OEC Bracelet
    June’s Birthstone Trinity
    June’s Birthstone Trinity

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.
Top