Guys-- How do most of you pay for the e-ring?

[Dancing Fire]

I was reading, and it seemed like you were looking ot get a $50k ring or so. If your downpayment for that is an issue, what exactly are you able to afford as a downpayment? Perhaps if its $15k you can afford, why not try getting a $15k ring? My best friend told her b/f that she wants nothing less than a 3 ct ring. She's now said she's "compromised" to a 1.75. I can tell she really loves this guy, so i'm sure within no time, she's going to be saying a 1.25-1.5 is going to be fine. Again, i'm not saying she doesn't love you, but why bother pulling your hair out or even have the chance of ruining the relationship because you bought her a small lil rock that won't allow you to go out or have vacation? Sure, i can afford a bigger ring. But when it comes around to vacation time, i won't be able to go because i spent all the money on a ring for her. And knowing myself, i might get mad and "regret" for spending so much on a ring. Which is why i'm buying a ring that will not hit me hard financially

but a vacation will only sparkle for two weeks .. a diamond will sparkle forever...

 

[Mico]

You can just buy what you can afford to pay cash for.
She'll still say yes, because YOU are more valuable than a ring.

If she says NO because the ring was not expensive enough I wouldn't want her anyway.

Explains the woman who has had a 3, 4, and 5 carat RB solitaire in our store's consignment case for each engagement she has broken. Can you say "gold digger"? I knew you could.

BTW - she learned from the best. Her mother was the same way through her 5 husbands!

Uh, what? Is this a dig at the OP? or Kenny? Or otherwise...

I think someone unrelated to the thread but related to the point kenny was trying to make?

 

[Dreamer_D]

We bought what we could afford with cash. I believe my engagement ring was $1500. It was not until later in our marriage that I got the big bling.

When you get engaged and have few financial responsibilities it seems ok to take on $10k debt for a ring. Trust me. Please. In five years when you have a mortgage and (perhaps) children you will be so mad at yourself for taking on that debt!

If you need to finance perhaps sign up for a new credit card that has 0% interest on balance transfers? I know some allow 10 months. And then only put onto it the amount you can pay off within 10 months of course.

 

[decodelighted]

Sure, i can afford a bigger ring. But when it comes around to vacation time, i won't be able to go because i spent all the money on a ring for her. And knowing myself, i might get mad and "regret" for spending so much on a ring. Which is why i'm buying a ring that will not hit me hard financially

You do realize she'll be wearing this ring FOR A LIFETIME? You'd resent skipping a *single vacation* to put the funds toward something she'll wear for years? I don't advocate taking a huge "hit financially" but skimping a bit on other luxuries temporarily? Sounds lovely & loving. At least to me. We splashed out on the 40th b-day watch my husband wanted at the cost of over luxuries & I don't "regret" it at all (so far!).

 

[onedrop]

We started smaller and upgraded a few times

This is what we did. I have only upgraded once though! I have reset a few times, but still....those were cash transactions. And I agree with everyone else, I think starting off your marriage with a very large debt, especially a luxury item is definitely not a good move.

 

[webdiva]

I guess we just need to hear back from OP on how we can help her get the look she wants and still meet BF's budget...

 

[slg47]

we bought a ring that FI could afford.

 

[edge29]

If you are struggling with the down payment you are looking in the wrong price range...I too had to adjust my expectations and honestly, I ended up with my dream stone and we still have extra cash to furnish our new home, have funds for vacations and emergencies and all of life's unexpected twists and turns.

There are gorgeous stones and settings at all budgets. Have you looked in the secondary market? Previously loved stones can offer a tremendous value, as I've learned on pricescope!

But first you need to have an honest discussion with your significant other to make sure $$ and expectations are aligned...

 

[webdiva]

If you are struggling with the down payment you are looking in the wrong price range...I too had to adjust my expectations and honestly, I ended up with my dream stone and we still have extra cash to furnish our new home, have funds for vacations and emergencies and all of life's unexpected twists and turns.

There are gorgeous stones and settings at all budgets. Have you looked in the secondary market? Previously loved stones can offer a tremendous value, as I've learned on pricescope!

But first you need to have an honest discussion with your significant other to make sure $$ and expectations are aligned...

Good point on the pre-loved! There's a 2.14 on there for 18.7 through JBeg and also Kenny's 2.67 OEC for 28.9!
http://www.jewelsbyericagrace.com/loose_antique_and_estate_diamonds_page_2

 

[sgc3301]

I saved up to pay all cash for mine. To be honest, I've had a couple of friends who either used a credit card or had a payment plan scheduled with their jeweler but a majority of us saved and used cash. As a financial counselor, I think it is INSANE to finance 99.9% of the things people do, especially for an e-ring and especially at the avg interest rates out there. If it's a matter of waiting and saving money then do it. If it's a matter of having to wait years but you need a ring now then you have to learn to love what you can afford. I waited a long time to save up the money for a ring. Now i actually spent about 2k less than I intended because I got a great deal and I could not justify spending an extra 2k for a diamond that, in my mind and to my eyes, was no better. I never went to a jeweler and told them my real budget because I never wanted to spend the whole thing. With the extra money, I got a nicer setting and I'm actually not completely broke now! My girlfriend has no idea how much I spent but she knows I won't be in debt for it. The last thing she wanted was for me to get into debt for a ring and then when I'm supposed to be saving for a wedding, I'm paying off a credit card and there is NO WAY I'm going to start my marriage with debt from her engagement ring. I have never "believed" in upgrades except for in this instance: when you want to get engaged and need a ring and then eventually as you get more financially stable you can get your bling. I know this is a sensitive subject since this is the things women have been thinking of for a long time but as a man, I can tell you there is an increasing amount of stress to overspend on a ring just to show it off. I'm all for it if you can afford it. But if it means debt and high interest, you should do the responsible thing because your life together really begins when you say "yes" not "i do."
'

 

[ImmaSquashYou]

Sure, i can afford a bigger ring. But when it comes around to vacation time, i won't be able to go because i spent all the money on a ring for her. And knowing myself, i might get mad and "regret" for spending so much on a ring. Which is why i'm buying a ring that will not hit me hard financially

You do realize she'll be wearing this ring FOR A LIFETIME? You'd resent skipping a *single vacation* to put the funds toward something she'll wear for years? I don't advocate taking a huge "hit financially" but skimping a bit on other luxuries temporarily? Sounds lovely & loving. At least to me. We splashed out on the 40th b-day watch my husband wanted at the cost of over luxuries & I don't "regret" it at all (so far!).

I'm not saying i didn't sacrifice OTHER THINGS already (skipped like 2 vacations and racing my motorcycle for the year). We usually go away 4-5 times a year, and i've cut down to 1-2. I just think that its equally important to give up things, but not to give up EVERYTHING. i do realize that she would be wearing the ring for quite a long time. Which is why i upped my budget from what i originally wanted to spend (i was so naive thinking i can find a good diamond over 1ct for like $4000). But i'm sure she'll be happy with whatever i pick out (she better be). Speaking from a guy's standpoint, as long as you spent what you can truly afford, and pushed your limit to the MAX, it doesn't really matter how much it is. Some girl that came to hang out with my other friends heard that i wanted to get, like a 1.2 ct and first thing that came out of her mouth was "wow, thats small". It was a bit shocking to me since i didn't think 1.2 was small at all. But i guess she's one of those girls that wants a 1.5+. I hope that she finds a guy that can afford that, but i'm also certain that her state of mind would change once she found Mr. RIght. I guess it all depends on if the person thinks its worth it to buy a ring that is like half year's salary. I personally don't. I know that a "rule of thumb" used to be like 3 months worth of paychecks. Perhaps the OP should go that route? Buy a diamond that is no MORE than 3 months worth of what your take home pay is (even though i think its still quite a bit).

 

[vinjewels]

We were fortunate enough to inherit my grandmother's diamonds. We just had to pay to have it set into a setting I liked, which was not much. Cash.
If we hadn't had that, I would have been happy with a really pretty band. I had student loans (still do) and we also paid for the wedding. I wouldn't have been able to justify a huge purchase that would have added stress to our new marriage. The first year came with a very high learning curve for us being two Aries' (can we say "ka-blamo!"), so it would have been a responsible decision. It all works out.

 

[vinjewels]

Sure, i can afford a bigger ring. But when it comes around to vacation time, i won't be able to go because i spent all the money on a ring for her. And knowing myself, i might get mad and "regret" for spending so much on a ring. Which is why i'm buying a ring that will not hit me hard financially

You do realize she'll be wearing this ring FOR A LIFETIME? You'd resent skipping a *single vacation* to put the funds toward something she'll wear for years? I don't advocate taking a huge "hit financially" but skimping a bit on other luxuries temporarily? Sounds lovely & loving. At least to me. We splashed out on the 40th b-day watch my husband wanted at the cost of over luxuries & I don't "regret" it at all (so far!).

I'm not saying i didn't sacrifice OTHER THINGS already (skipped like 2 vacations and racing my motorcycle for the year). We usually go away 4-5 times a year, and i've cut down to 1-2. I just think that its equally important to give up things, but not to give up EVERYTHING. i do realize that she would be wearing the ring for quite a long time. Which is why i upped my budget from what i originally wanted to spend (i was so naive thinking i can find a good diamond over 1ct for like $4000). But i'm sure she'll be happy with whatever i pick out (she better be). Speaking from a guy's standpoint, as long as you spent what you can truly afford, and pushed your limit to the MAX, it doesn't really matter how much it is. Some girl that came to hang out with my other friends heard that i wanted to get, like a 1.2 ct and first thing that came out of her mouth was "wow, thats small". It was a bit shocking to me since i didn't think 1.2 was small at all. But i guess she's one of those girls that wants a 1.5+. I hope that she finds a guy that can afford that, but i'm also certain that her state of mind would change once she found Mr. RIght. I guess it all depends on if the person thinks its worth it to buy a ring that is like half year's salary. I personally don't. I know that a "rule of thumb" used to be like 3 months worth of paychecks. Perhaps the OP should go that route? Buy a diamond that is no MORE than 3 months worth of what your take home pay is (even though i think its still quite a bit).

Immasquashyou, I think as long as you both were happy about that decision, that's all that matters. You know what they say about opinions......everyone has one . And, regarding the "wow, that's small" girl, yes there are tacky tacky people out there. But are they truly (or will they ever be) content? I feel so sorry for them.

 

[ddiamond]

Some girl that came to hang out with my other friends heard that i wanted to get, like a 1.2 ct and first thing that came out of her mouth was "wow, thats small". It was a bit shocking to me since i didn't think 1.2 was small at all. But i guess she's one of those girls that wants a 1.5+. I hope that she finds a guy that can afford that, but i'm also certain that her state of mind would change once she found Mr. RIght. I guess it all depends on if the person thinks its worth it to buy a ring that is like half year's salary. I personally don't. I know that a "rule of thumb" used to be like 3 months worth of paychecks. Perhaps the OP should go that route? Buy a diamond that is no MORE than 3 months worth of what your take home pay is (even though i think its still quite a bit).

Obnoxious.

I agree the few months paycheck should be the *upper* bound. Only go that route if the girl is *really* into bling. I went more like 1-2 months and she loves the ring. Good news is I proposed about two weeks ago and we are getting married inside of 6 months. I've got all of that covered now including the engagement ring, wedding bands, and all the rest. Your mileage may vary.

 

[sgc3301]

Immasquashyou, I think as long as you both were happy about that decision, that's all that matters. You know what they say about opinions......everyone has one . And, regarding the "wow, that's small" girl, yes there are tacky tacky people out there. But are they truly (or will they ever be) content? I feel so sorry for them.[/quote]


this says it best. Is there a right answer? according to Suze Orman and the finance police, yes. But at the end of the day, if you two are happy and you are responsible with the decision then you do that.

 

[ImmaSquashYou]

Immasquashyou, I think as long as you both were happy about that decision, that's all that matters. You know what they say about opinions......everyone has one . And, regarding the "wow, that's small" girl, yes there are tacky tacky people out there. But are they truly (or will they ever be) content? I feel so sorry for them.

Oh, she' doesn't know yet. I'm still looking for a ring. LOL. But somehow she kept telling me in recent months, "if you're going to buy me a ring, don't buy anything expensive". Perhaps she caught on why i'm not spending so much money lately. LOL. But i agree, do'nt buy her a $50k ring if she's going to yell at you and tell you you're crazy.

 

[Christina...]

Immasquashyou, I think as long as you both were happy about that decision, that's all that matters. You know what they say about opinions......everyone has one . And, regarding the "wow, that's small" girl, yes there are tacky tacky people out there. But are they truly (or will they ever be) content? I feel so sorry for them.

Oh, she' doesn't know yet. I'm still looking for a ring. LOL. But somehow she kept telling me in recent months, "if you're going to buy me a ring, don't buy anything expensive". Perhaps she caught on why i'm not spending so much money lately. LOL. But i agree, do'nt buy her a $50k ring if she's going to yell at you and tell you you're crazy.

I think the OP is the girlfriend and is selecting her own ring.

 

[swingirl]

I'm just curious how people are able to afford such a large down payment, which almost every vendor/b & m requires.
I've noticed that most places don't have a great payment plan.

Suggestions and advice would be appreciated.

You have been looking at 2.5-3 ct stones so I am guessing you have a large budget to work with. How much of it are you hoping to finance? For me, I wouldn't be looking at 3 ct stones if I didn't already have the cash.

My original ering and my recent upgrade were paid for with cash.

 

[hearts-arrows_girl]

My husband had the cash in the bank, plus, we started off smaller and moved up to my current stone.

 

[Imdanny]

I think it's also misleading to see the gorgeous rings on here, without reading the backstories. Many are 10, 25, etc anniversary ring resets. Very few extravagant rings are actual pre-wedding engagement rings.

Good point.

 

[lereveur]

I paid for my recent e-ring purchase in cash. Well, wire transfer actually.
I took a lot of time to save up, and research the diamond and ring I could afford. Because of that, I think I got a great purchase.

 

[emeraldnewbie]

I think it's also misleading to see the gorgeous rings on here, without reading the backstories. Many are 10, 25, etc anniversary ring resets. Very few extravagant rings are actual pre-wedding engagement rings.

Good point.

Yes, I am one of those. I just received my 10 year "upgrade" and we paid cash for it. However, it was an upgrade from NO diamond as DH couldn't afford one 10 years ago.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

If this is still available, it is an excellent deal for a large (2.6 ct. ) stone:

http://diamondbistro.com/category/215/Loose-natural-Diamonds/listings/27816/26-ct-AGS-000-Round-I-Color-VS2-Clarity.html

Obviously you'd have to work out your own financing if he doesn't have this amount in cash.

 

[chloecro]

Thanks everyone for the really valuable advice. I'll make sure my sweetie reads this.

 

[dockman3]

Just to show you that not everyone pays cash, I did use the 12 months interest free financing and put about 50% down when I bought my wife her ER. I was a graduate student at the time and didn't want to wait another year to be able to afford the ring I wanted to give her. I didn't want to upgrade in the future and I didn't want to wait. Taking the interest free financing for 12 months was perfect for me! I was able to get the ring I wanted, when I wanted it and paid it off in those 12 months and did not pay any interest at all and was still able to keep money in my savings account as well.

If you budget accordingly and plan to pay it off in the time of the interest free financing, then you are all set and I don't see any problem using the credit option. It is the same as cash, except that you get it a year earlier than you would if you saved on your own. All the price negotiations were completed before I talked about payment, so I didn't pay any more than I would have if I had paid cash.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with using that method, as long as you are smart about it. If you are really money savy, you could even take the money you were going to use, put it in a high yield account for the 12 months, rather than just paying cash, and then you could come out ahead and earn some interest on your money and have your ring.

Just remember that you have to come up with the full amount within 12 months (or 6 months) so you can either have your ring now and enjoy it for a while, or just sit on your pile of money for another year and get it then.

 

[distracts]

I know this is a sensitive subject since this is the things women have been thinking of for a long time but as a man, I can tell you there is an increasing amount of stress to overspend on a ring just to show it off. I'm all for it if you can afford it. But if it means debt and high interest, you should do the responsible thing because your life together really begins when you say "yes" not "i do."

Danaviles, I agree totally with this. My fiance felt a LOT of stress to have something really big and nice so that people would think he was treating me right, like the ring was an outward expression of our relationship's health, or something. But at the same time, he knew spending buttloads of money on it was not a good idea or something I would approve of. Fortunately for him, what my heart desired above all else was a sapphire, so we were able to get the fancy, fussy three-stone setting we loved with a 2 ct center stone (he liked the idea of a three-stone setting because the sidestone diamonds made him feel like he was still getting me a diamond ring, which made it okay for an e-ring, lol) and spend an amount that he could easily afford.

I do know some people who have the mentality that their fiance HAS to struggle financially in order to get them a ring, and adjust their expectations ever-upwards, but I don't see the point of that. My fiance going into debt over the ring, or getting hit by big interest fees and paying more than it's worth, would not have impressed me as to his financial compatibility with me. Both of us do enjoy luxury purchases, but have to have everything else squared away before we will even think about them.

OP, if you are selecting the ring and your boyfriend is paying for it, you need to sit down with him and have a serious discussion about what amount of money he can actually afford to spend. I know it's hard to do, as quite a few people get engaged before they start having to have serious financial talks with each other, but serious financial talks will be an aspect of the rest of your lives. Not just what he WANTS to be able to afford, but what he can ACTUALLY afford. If he's having trouble with the downpayment on a $65,000 stone, will he be able to afford the monthly payments and get it all paid off before the interest hits? You can get a big, beautiful ring for half of that amount.

 

[jcsmomma]

My husband and I didn't really do the engagement traditionally. We lived together and already had combined finances, and decided we wanted to get married and start a family. So we bought our rings together. My original set was only about .50 carat total, with a .25 center stone. But it was what we could afford at them time to pay cash for, since we were paying for our own wedding as well. After about two years, I upgraded to a .50 carat solitaire that I wore for several years. I had it reset once during that time, but that was into my mother's wedding ring setting so it only cost the jeweler's setting fee. Last year I also received my mother's three-stone ring which was 2 carats total. I had been wearing that and planning a reset for my upcoming 10th anniversary. We went to Jared last weekend to look at settings, and I fell in love with one using my center stone. They are offering 0% for 12 to 18 months (depending on how much you spend) with 20% down. We would have saved the money for the reset and gotten it closer to our actual anniversary in September, but my hubby decided we should just take advantage of the financing and enjoy it early. But we wouldn't have done that if it was going to cost more money in the long run!

I guess what I am saying is the ring is just one small part of starting a life together. Buy what you can afford and be happy. Don't take on extra debt and stress to buy an ering that is out of your comfort level price wise. You can always upgrade down the road! I am completely happy with my 1 carat and it took me over nine years to get it lol! We could afford something bigger at this point in our lives but we have three small children and I just could only see spending a certain amount on my anniversary gift. So we set a budget we were comfortable with, and that is the range that I looked in. I'm sure I could have fallen in love with many larger stones, but I didn't even go there. That's what I would suggest to you as well. Good luck in your search, I am sure you will find something you love!

 

[Haven]

My husband paid cash for my e-ring. It wasn't something we would finance because we don't finance luxuries.

I think this is an important decision that you need to make with your priorities and finances in mind.

 

[hearts-arrows_girl]

If this is still available, it is an excellent deal for a large (2.6 ct. ) stone:

http://diamondbistro.com/category/215/Loose-natural-Diamonds/listings/27816/26-ct-AGS-000-Round-I-Color-VS2-Clarity.html

Obviously you'd have to work out your own financing if he doesn't have this amount in cash.

That stone is fabulous and the price is perfect! If I were still looking I would get that stone in a heartbeat. Great job DS!

 

[denverappraiser]

I absolutely agree with the above that you should buy what you can afford and that financing luxury purchases is a mistake. That said, I’m going to answer the question anyway because this is often part of the sales pitch at stores, people worry about this a lot, and it’s important to analyze it.

Store financing is almost always a bad deal. Some are worse than others. By and large, jewelers aren’t banks and they already have their own cash flow problems with inventory. They don’t want to be your bill collector and they need the money so they can replace the goods and be ready for the next customer. The way they solve this is to sell the note to someone who IS in the banking business. This mostly has to do with your own creditworthiness. There's nothing wrong or incidious with this, I'm just pointing out that your finance deal probably isn't with the jeweler anyway. They're just helping you to fill out the forms. Far more importantly, it’s used to mask the real price of the goods. ‘Only’ $100/month is a lot harder to shop than, say, $5000 for a 0.65/SI1/I. Pay double for the ring and who cares about the 6 months of deferred interest?

The solution is simple enough. Separate out the deal. Nearly every competitive diamond dealer takes credit cards and the people who issue credit cards are in a highly competitive business. Check out bankrate.com and you’ll find ads for dozens of them just like the database here has ads for dozens of diamond sellers. Shop them against one another based on your own criteria and on the merits (or demerits) of the note and shop for the ring based on ITS merits. Don’t bundle.

This holds true whether you're shopping online or on the street by the way, and it even holds if you're getting the ring from a dealer who offers financing. If they want to bid on the finance deal, let 'em, but I wouldn't call it an advantage any more than it's an advantage to get a car loan from the people who operate the car lot. One more trap on financing. Don't let them make the discussion be about what you can 'afford'. That's not what makes a good deal good or a bad deal bad. That's in the fine print. READ IT.