Guilt?

[Skippy123]

I just need to vent. I work hard and take home work on the weekends. Tonight I heard my father has something wrong with his heart; he was admitted to the heart hospital. I said I would get something done over the weekend since it needs to be done asap. I am so torn. I want to be with my family. Do I tell my boss this is a family emergency and be there for my family or try and do both? My husband thinks this is a no brainer, what do you think. I probably will say I need to be there for my mom and of course myself. Why do I feel bad about that decision?????

Maybe I am completely wacko for this even being an issue

ps. send good vibes for my daddy please.

 

[monarch64]

Skippy so very sorry to hear that your father is ill. Please, please take this time to be with your dad and your family! It IS a no-brainer in the sense that family is just so much more important that work. I know, I''ve been through this in my life with my father...gave up my retail career so I could be with my dad on the weekends...just go and be with your dad, that is all that matters. Take care, and I''m thinking positive thoughts towards you and your dad and family.

 

[strmrdr]

prayers outgoing
forget work and do whats important!

 

[bee*]

I agree with the others, go spend time with your dad. Your boss will understand

 

[poptart]

Yes, go spend time with your dad. Work is nowhere near as important.

*M*

 

[mrssalvo]

I agree, go be with your dad. prayers outgoing from here too..

 

[kcoursolle]

go be with you dad and tell your boss what happened, if he/she can''t understand this...you should''t be working there. I''m a workaholic as well, but family in need always comes first.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 3/17/2007 8:55:25 AM
Author: mrssalvo
I agree, go be with your dad. prayers outgoing from here too..

Ditto.

 

[oshinbreez]

I agree with everyone else. You need to be with your family right now. I can understand you feeling guilty about work, but you really don''t need to. Family is much more important than any work that needs done.

I''ll keep all of you in my prayers.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 3/17/2007 2:10:34 AM
Author:Skippy123
I just need to vent. I work hard and take home work on the weekends. Tonight I heard my father has something wrong with his heart; he was admitted to the heart hospital. I said I would get something done over the weekend since it needs to be done asap. I am so torn. I want to be with my family. Do I tell my boss this is a family emergency and be there for my family or try and do both? My husband thinks this is a no brainer, what do you think. I probably will say I need to be there for my mom and of course myself. Why do I feel bad about that decision?????

Maybe I am completely wacko for this even being an issue

ps. send good vibes for my daddy please.

No, you're not whacko. You sound like a very hard working, loyal employee (and that's why you're torn).

I would tell them you need to be with your dad.


And a couple considerations.

You could take the work with you and if there is downtime when dad can't have visitors, work on it IF you feel like it, if not, fine.

or

Could someone else at the company possibly do it?


My prayers are with you and your family Skippy. And please give your dad an extra hug for me. Mine has been gone 5 1/2 years, and I still miss him terribly.

 

[justjulia]

Ditto what Ellen has said. Is your father stabilized and aware of what is going on? They may decide to run tests and a lot of it may come down to waiting to hear back about the results. It is comforting to know someone is nearby. Is your work something that you can sit bedside and do?

 

[Sundial]

Oh Skippy I''m so sorry to hear that your Dad is having some problems! I will certainly keep him in my thoughts and prayers. It is perfectly natural to feel guilty in this situation since you agreed to take on the work, but of course your family needs you now and your boss will understand. We all have things come up that we didn''t plan on that can change our priorities. Please keep us posted on how he is doing.

 

[phoenixgirl]

You have nothing to feel guilty about. This is a time to be with family.

My father had a stroke last summer, and when my siblings and I all arrived from several hours away, my dad was really touched. He kept telling everyone who came to see him in the hospital, "You know it's really bad when all of your children suddenly show up at the hospital," and while he was saying it jokingly as a reason for concern, he was really bragging.

It did take me a few hours to realize I needed to go home because my mom was trying really hard to be casual and reassuring, and I bought it. But then both my siblings called me in a panic, and I realized we really should be concerned and should be there for him.

Think about not doing your work this way -- what if you came down with a virus that knocked you out for the whole weekend? Things come up. (I'm not saying to pretend you have a virus, just that sometimes we can't do what we said we will do, and that's ok . . . that's life).

 

[Kaleigh]

Your Hubby is right Skippy, this IS an no brainer. Go be with your dad and your family. They need you right now. Tell your boss that you have a family emergency. Don''t give work a second thought. My thoughts and prayers are with your dad, your family and of course with you!!!! HUGS!!!! Lisa

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Skippy, I agree with the others. This is the weekend and you do not have a 7 day a week job. You are talking about extra work. This is your time and now you have something more important to do this weekend. Hopefully he will be stable and you can go to work Monday. Don''t let work take over your life. It is rarely worth it. I hope all goes well for your Dad!

 

[starryeyed]

Hi Skippy. I totally know how you feel! By far, your dad is the most important thing. However, I know how you feel about making a promise to your boss. I would call your boss immediately and leave a message about what has happened. Your VMM will have a time and date stamp, so he''ll know you aren''t just making an excuse. With advanced notice, he may be able to make "adjustments" so the work gets done, or the deadline delayed.

Everyone responds to stress differently. It may make you feel better to do a little work, maybe not. I would definitely spend time with your dad and your family, but if you feel you need to work to help you cope, do what you need to do.

Prayers and well wishes going out to you and your family!

 

[diamondfan]

I hope your dad will be fine!

Spend the time with them. If you have a bit of down time, you can look at the work, but A your family is more important and B: if you have always been someone who goes above and beyond in the past, I am sure no one will even question your being with your family now. I am sure anyone would expect that at a time like this.

Be strong and good luck.

 

[Cehrabehra]

You have to go be with your family - at the end of the day, which would you regret NOT doing?

I hope everything goes smoothly!

 

[RockDoc]

I agree with the above - but would add that your Dad would feel a lot better knowing you where there with him.

He needs you, so no contest here. This isn''t like you''re asking to go on a weekend jaunt......

If you boss or supervisor at your job isn''t understanding, I agree you need to find a better place to dedicate your work ethic to.

Rockdoc

 

[Maisie]

Sending lots of hugs and prayers.

Maisie xxx

 

[zoebartlett]

Sending prayers your way. Definitely spend time with your family; talk to your boss to see if someone else can help you out. I''m sure he or she will understand. It is family, after all.

 

[Harriet]

Oh Skippy, go and be with your one and only daddy (to whom I''m sending good vibes).

 

[KimberlyH]

My thoughts are with you and your family, Skippy. I hope you are with your dad as I type this.

 

[Siamese Kitty]

Skippy, I just saw this. I''m so sorry to hear about your father-I will keep your family in my prayers. Please keep us updated.

 

[chickflick]

I''ll be praying for your family and for you to have peace with your decision. I put work first for many years and it paid off professionally but I''ve also learned that the ones I love have to come first. Without them nothing else has any meaning, anyway. Take care!

 

[Ellen]

Skippy, I hope things are going well, I''ve been thinking about you all weekend.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 3/18/2007 7:39:38 PM
Author: Ellen
Skippy, I hope things are going well, I''ve been thinking about you all weekend.

Me too!!! Please give us an update when you can.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Hope things are OK with you and your family Skippy. Prayers your way.

kind regards--Sharon

 

[Skippy123]

I am beside myself with all the kind and thoughtful prayers and words.

Thank you Monarch, Strmr, Bee, Poptart, MrsS, Kcoursolle, Lorilei, oshinbreez, sweetie Ellen, Justjulia, Neighbor Sundial, Phoenixgirl, kindest Kaleigh, DiamondSeeker, Starryeyed, Diamondfan, Cehrabehra, DockRock, Maisiebelle, ZoeB, Harriet, KimberlyH, Skitty, and Chickflick.

My dad had some heart problems; they still need to do more testing (a machine is broken so he has to wait till Tuesday for a few more tests). He is now home; thank god. My sister and I made sure my parents are okay and I stayed with my dad in the hospital. I know all your prayers worked!!!! He needs to take care of himself; he will be taking lots of medicines. I need to go over and stock their fridge with heathy foods. That is my goal over the week. I will keep you all posted.

I called my boss right away and the project will be reassigned. I probably can finish it tomorrow. Thank you all for the wonderful advise; really, family and friends are too dear to put second.

I have found some really *dear friends* here; thank you for everything.

Gratefully, Stephanie

 

[oshinbreez]

I''m glad to hear your dad is home and that your boss understood your situation. Hope the tests come out good. Thanks for the update.