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Going back to work after maternity leave

pregcurious

pregcurious

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 18, 2009
Messages
6,725
I am going back to work next week after 3 months maternity leave with my 2nd child. I hate going back to work as much as the first time. It is really hard emotionally and physically. I know it will be so much to go to work at my job, keep up my milk supply for my baby, and do chores when I get home.

I just wanted to vent. Pray for me please!
 
Oh no, I can only imagine how hard it is to leave your little one and return to the stresses of the workplace. I hope your transition goes as smoothly as possible.
 
Good luck! I've just gone back to work after a year off (not maternity leave) and its scary how much you forget without daily practice. Still, it's coming back quickly and you'll be fine. Expressing at work is a challenge from what I see as my colleague is doing it. My SIL hasn't gone back to work for over a year after getting pregnant and her career is finished. So even though its hard now, you will reap the rewards later when you still have a career as well as kids! Best of luck!
 
Pregcurious, I am sending you lots of good wishes and hugs. I know how difficult it is from seeing my sister struggle with this exact thing. She has no maternity leave at her job but took 3 months unpaid leave with each child and then pumped during her lunch break at work each day. It was a challenge to say the least and while her husband loves her and the children and is supportive in his own way he is not much help with the daily household chores and tasks so she had that to come home to in addition. Fortunately my parents help out and watch the children while she is at work and now they are in school so it is easier but my heart goes out to you and all those dealing with this daily challenge.
 
Good luck & lots of positive vibes. I faced the same situation when I had my first daughter & even though it was a tough decision to leave my career, I decided to stay at home. I was sick with worry & stress at the thought of everything you are facing & I am still a SAHM, with 2 children, 4 years later. You are courageous & strong - you can do it! :appl:
 
I've been there (going back to work, pumping in a conference room, etc.). It is definitely a real challenge to juggle it all. The best advice I can give you is to accept help when offered and to give yourself a break. You cannot do everything and do it well. You will have to prioritize and learn to accept that not everything can be done exactly the way you might chose to do it under different circumstances.

I hope that the transition goes well for you.....good luck!
 
is it possible to have someone come in and do chores for you? perhaps twice a week? you definitely will have your hands full and in my unasked for opinion it would seem $ well spent to lessen the things that you can. if you can afford it would seem logical........ otherwise, can you live with things less tidy, etc?

not only do I wish you luck, I would encourage you to vent away here whenever necessary. and I hope you find at least 5 minutes in the day to do something for yourself even if its nothing more than staring at the clouds in the sky.

perhaps others can chime in with hints they've discovered re chores that helped them get through this.
 
There is no question it is very tough; be kind to yourself when you HAVE to let things slide once a while. I was a zombie going back to work and all that added stress affects the pumped milk supply as well.
 
Good luck. Been there. I hated pumping, but we do what we do. Ditto everyone else on prioritizing and if you don't have time to clean the house, so be it. And if you can afford a cleaning service, then do it. You just need to find a balance and routine that works for your family.
 
Wishing you lots of luck! I found that the anticipation/anxiety about going back was at its worst the week before. I cried. A lot. But then once I was back, I was more accepting and found a groove. Thanks for sharing as I've often wondered if it's just as hard to go back after the 2nd one!
 
Been there, done that. It is hard, there is no way around it. Let go of what you can. When I was growing up we had a sign in our house that said, "clean enough to be healthy, dirty enough to be happy". Strive for that. Perfect doesn't matter. When I went back with my first one, I cried every day, with my second and third not quite as much but it was still so hard. Prayers and hugs for you, pregcurious!
 
It is very hard. I worked part-time after my first came along and when the second one came, I was unable to work out a part-time situation, so I quit until they were both in school. I know not everyone can do that, and my own daughter is one that will not be able to with her second. But I have zero regrets and would do it over again.

My main advice if you need or wish to work is to reduce your work hours if you can, and by all means hire cleaning help. There is not much that is more depressing to me than to come home to a long list of housework when you really want to spend that precious time with your family. There are high expectations of women these days, full time career and all the responsibilities of a full-time parent. And I think something has to give because there are not enough hours in the day to do it all and do it all well.
 
I 100% feel your pain. I went back to work after 10 weeks (with both kids) and continued to pump full time for 4-5 additionall months with each child. It was hard- i hated every second of it, but once I got into a routine it WAS much easier. Goodluck on going back to work- I'm sure you'll get into a pattern quickly!
 
My heart goes out to you. I cannot believe the short mat leaves in other countries. :angryfire:

I agree with others, hire cleaning help if you can, put up a chore roster so hubby knows exactly how to do his share, and let your standards slide a bit.
If you have a phone with a video function, take a five minute video of your baby to watch while you are pumping, it should help with milk letdown.
See if you can call your baby's caregiver once or twice a day and get them to hold the phone to baby so you can hear her little sounds and tell her you love her (or him).
Keep lots of pictures at work.
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or sad all the time, or starting to feel emotionally numb, please tell your doctor.

I admire your courage. Remember all your PS family are cheering you on, brave strong mama! :appl:
 
missy|1378638099|3516701 said:
Pregcurious, I am sending you lots of good wishes and hugs. I know how difficult it is from seeing my sister struggle with this exact thing. She has no maternity leave at her job but took 3 months unpaid leave with each child and then pumped during her lunch break at work each day. It was a challenge to say the least and while her husband loves her and the children and is supportive in his own way he is not much help with the daily household chores and tasks so she had that to come home to in addition. Fortunately my parents help out and watch the children while she is at work and now they are in school so it is easier but my heart goes out to you and all those dealing with this daily challenge.
Click to expand...

I had no maternity leave also, but I used my paid annual leave.

Thanks for the support everyone!
 
Thinking of you! It's incredibly hard. PS is always here when you need to vent.
 
Thanks, Rosebloom. It is going okay, but lately I am so tired I want to fall over. Sometimes I am sitting still, and the world feels like it is swaying.
 
I hope you get some well deserved rest this weekend.
 
I can imagine how difficult it is... Dust and warm hugs being sent your way. :))
 
pregcurious|1382147849|3540452 said:
Thanks, Rosebloom. It is going okay, but lately I am so tired I want to fall over. Sometimes I am sitting still, and the world feels like it is swaying.
Click to expand...

I know exactly what you mean Pregcurious...My second daughter is now two and a half years old. Since she was born, we totally lost our sleep. This child wouldn't sleep at night, no matter what we did. She' d wake up every two hours, until she was eight months old and afterwards she'd still wake up three times per night. Every time she woke me up, it was so extremely hard for me to go back to sleep, so there were so many nights that i stayed up until the morning. Then, i had to deal with her during the day, all alone, while DH was at work. Her colics were making her suffer during the day as well and she'd cry and cry for hours. Imagine me, trying to deal with all that, while not having had any sleep all night long. This situation has lasted for sooo long. Even until now, she wakes up often during the night, because she's having bad dreams, etc. I was constantly tired and the world seemed to be spinning around me...

When the time came for me to go back to work, even though i felt somehow scared and overwhelmed, at the same time i felt excited...Because i just couldn't stand the feeling of being at home all day long with a baby, who was driving me crazy. I realized that if i start waking up every morning and dressing nicely, putting on my make up, making my hair and going out, if i see other people and start doing the thing that i love so much again (i am a lawyer), it will be so much better for me. And it was...
I was thinking that it will be so extremely hard to get back in the courtroom...All lawyers have this feeling, even after many years of experience, even without being away for a maternity leave, every time they get in the courtroom, they have butterflies in the stomach. But after a few days, everything was back to normal and i had no problem at all. My mood changed completely and everything was so much better. I felt good about myself and this had a positive influence in our family too.

I did hire a lady, who was coming home once per week. She cleaned the entire appartment and did the ironing as well. During the rest of the week, in the afternoons, DH would watch over the baby, for me to have the time to deal with the dishes, the laundry, the beds making, etc. We would take our baby and go together out for groceries shopping. After a while, we had found our rythms and everything was so much better for all of us.

I wish you good luck and i'm sending you lots of dust and positive energy! Please make positive thoughts, everything will be alright :wavey:
 
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