Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alternative

[iLander]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Ugh! I don't wanna go doctor . . .

I feel fine now . . .

Sigh. . .

Everybody has is so much worse than me, I really shouldn't have even mentioned it. Sometimes people just feel faint, when they get all riled up or overheated or whatever. I hate the doctor treadmill and sometimes they can't even figure anything out, so it's a waste of time AND money. I'm going back to the pearls thread. . . (where's a pouty emoticon when you need it?)

How did I get from the age of "It's probably nothing" to "It could be something", so damn fast?!!

GO!!!!

We mean it...!

I will if I have one more problem, I swear.

I appreciate everyone's concern, I just really hate doctors. If they were all 100% competent, I wouldn't mind, but I've been to so many idiots, its ridiculous. I had what turned out to be a cyst removed from a breast many years ago, and the surgeon managed to collapse my lung during the surgery. I spent a week in the hospital, with various nurses turning off the ventilator and re-collapsing the lung. It was a nightmare.

Thanks, all, I will absolutely try to keep track of what is happening if it happens again.

 

[iLander]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

If I am the butt of another joke, or my mother cleans another appliance, drawer, or closet and then comments on how much better it looks, I am going to have to kill someone. This is not going well!!!

She's just insecure. Whatever the jokes are about, that is the thing she feels most guilty about. Some mothers never really make the separation and feel like they failed whenever you do something that Their mothers would disapprove of. It is the Cycle of Nagging.

If she's cleaning, for God's sake let her. She's nervous, at loose ends and doesn't know what else to do with herself. Then she just wants a reward when it's done, that's why she says it looks better. Give her something to do! Organize pictures, pull articles out of magazines, alphabetize the spice rack. Any kind of busy work that you can think of.

Or send her to my house, and I'll show her where the vacuum is. Gladly!

When she jokes about you, give it right back to her. Reverse it somehow, so that you are teasing her about the same thing. She might be surprised at how it feels to receive it back. Some people are just insensitive.

My mom passed away a long time ago. I wish she was here to organize my tupperware, even though I don't have any.

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I'm always happy its done.... once she leaves. It is a combo of her insecurities AND mine that make this such a mine field. I did put my foot down early this evening. She decided that the frozen cookies she brought needed to be baked (okay, that's fine), and then frosted and decorated. While we had to also get dinner made so daughter could get out on time for her play tonight. After decorating 5 cookies I said that frosting alone would have to do. Then, as I was cleaning up from supper, and she was helping by putting extra food away, she decided to clean out the fridge. After she kept asking me if this or that container was still good, and she kept putting the gross, old food containers on top of the dinner dishes I was trying to finish, I asked her please, could she wait until I was done cleaning up from supper. She said "fine" and went off to the guest room and closed the door. I asked DH if he would go say something to her. Now we are having a sort of Cold War.

Thirty-six hours and counting.......


(thanks to all of you who have given advice, perspective, or just sympathy. it has been helpful and appreciated)

 

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Been out all day and just popped in for a couple of minutes.

Uppy, one thing I learned about aging parents that they need to feel needed. At that age they have a lot of limitations and are trying to prove to themselves that they are still capable. What you need to do is find something for them to do because, you know, you just don't know how to do it. We do that with my dad all the time and it keeps him so busy (and out of our hair) and at the same time it gives him a great sense of pride that we "still need him" and that "he can still do it". You know what I mean, Find something she can sort out for you, old photos with missing names, list of gift for the holidays, get her online (if she is computer literate) to find something that you have been trying to hunt down, or clip and sort your coupons.

In the meantime tale a couple of deep breaths and a couple of gulps of wine.

 

[colorluvr]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Uppy - I'm really sorry you are having a rough time. I can't relate, but I do sympathize as I have friends whose moms could really push their buttoms. And a big definite on the kaluha, just don't let her know or she'll remind you how many calories it has.

On a fun note, my hubby took me to this cool museum today. http://ricenorthwmuseum.qwestoffice.net/index.shtml

It was lots of fun! Not enough gemstones (only a small display of faceted gems and they had a synthetic emerald that they didn't identify as synthetic) , but lots of cool displays.

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Since you've all been so sweet and encouraging, helping me keep my composure while my family visits, I thought I would share a family picture we took this morning. In line with my control freak mother, she brought us all matching orange USA t-shirts . This is what we look like.

 

[risingsun]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

You are all just too cute for words, Uppy! Take a deep cleansing breath and hang in there. Hide the sharp knives, too

 

[ksinger]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Since you've all been so sweet and encouraging, helping me keep my composure while my family visits, I thought I would share a family picture we took this morning. In line with my control freak mother, she brought us all matching orange USA t-shirts . This is what we look like.

No! Really I'm not laughing AT you!...ok...I'm LMAO at you!!! (Hey, YOU started it!!)

Those shirts are a hoot!

My mom was never quite so bad as that, but she did come over and clean. Used to drive me nuts, and she'd flog me to help. (Especially on the cleaning out the fridge bit. Gah! But I hate(d) that. Now the hubs does it. Yay!) But I got over it, and let her.
Of course every now and then, I'd tell her to shove off a bit too, but we could do that, she and I. We were very close as she got older.


Funny story though. One weekend we got together, and instead of pushing back on all her "plans", I was feeling pretty mellow and just went with the flow. She wanted to do this, I was like, "Sure mom, let's do it.". She decided it was time to clean out my front bedroom closet, and (expecting the wailing to start I'm sure) and I said, "OK", and helped without a whimper.

So she goes home. About an hour later she calls me. "I want you to know I had a terrible day." "WHAT???" "Awful. You were sweet, helpful, and agreeable. Please don't do it again. It weirded me out. It's not RIGHT." I was ROLLING. But she was only kidding about 50%. She really preferred me feisty. I guess the day was too bland with me being agreeable. Got a lot done though.

I really do miss her every day...

 

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Well, I think it is a cute picture!

When I was younger my mom thought it was neat for the 3 of us (mom, my sister, and me) to dress alike. Hah! I would be dressed and within 5 minutes get my dress and white gloves dirty. Who knows what happened to that ridiculous hat she would put on me. Later she gave up on me and never tried to make us 3 dress alike anymore.

 

[lyra]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

I love that picture! At least the kids look happy. Mom doesn't look fully pleased, which is funny since she bought the t-shirts. Still, I think it's a great family shot. Your kids are gorgeous!

I found my loupe! Actually my daughter found it beside the fridge, behind the cookie car. Don't ask, I have absolutely no idea how it got there of all places, but I was so happy to see it. It's a sentimental piece for me I realize. Silly I know.

DH says I have enough jewellery and can't have anymore. I did tell him I am planning on buying a pendant from etsy. He said that was okay. I'm partially joking here since I'm getting a major Christmas present from him already, the .76 etoile ring.

Hope everyone is having a good night. My kids are handing out the candy tonight so I'm just babysitting the wee dog. It's his first Halloween and he's not loving all the commotion. He absolutely panicked when DD's BF walked in wearing a Spock wig and ears! I've never heard him bark like that while running for cover as fast as he could.

 

[junebug17]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Since you've all been so sweet and encouraging, helping me keep my composure while my family visits, I thought I would share a family picture we took this morning. In line with my control freak mother, she brought us all matching orange USA t-shirts . This is what we look like.

Uppy, I LOVE this pic! My gosh, what a great looking family! Your kids are absolutely beautiful, and you are so pretty and so young looking! (and I assure you I truly mean it, I'm not just giving lip service). Thank you so much for sharing this with us, your pic made me realize how fun and nice it is to put a face to a name...if I can ever track down a picture where I don't look like I'm 90, I'll post it.

Oh, and hang in there as best you can with your mother. I know, easier said than done, but sometimes if you just accept that someone is going to drive you a little nuts and give into it, it's not so bad. If that doesn't work, just keep on drinking lol.

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

POST #1001

We've made quite a dent, ladies. Let's keep it going. I know I find this thread to be a sanctuary.

My parents left early this morning. We had a couple of arguments, one full fledged fight, and a few tears during the visit. I am glad I still have them around in my life, and especially in the lives of my children! But short visits are best. Thank you all for the kind words of encouragement while they visited. I love all of you!!!

 

[gemgirl]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Actually, I think you all looked pretty darned adorable in your matching Halloween tees.

Yay, sanity is restored to the Uppy household. Relatives- gotta' love 'em (well, for short spurts anyway , then send them home).

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Can you believe, as a 48 year old woman, my mother can still make me cry?

 

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

When I am around my dad I feel like a 6 year old all over again, but in a good way! He is the one person in my life who has truly understood me. We just have that kind of connection.

 

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Well ladies. It is darn freezing here! At least the sun is out. I am wearing my leggings under my pants to keep warm.

 

[gemgirl]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

It was 39 degrees in NY when I got up this morning. Last week, we had a mini heat wave and people were wearing shorts. Go figure!

 

[lyra]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Well ladies. It is darn freezing here! At least the sun is out. I am wearing my leggings under my pants to keep warm.

I'm considering looking for long underwear, the real stuff. Oh, and further on the boy shorts issue, well boyshorts-2, lyra-0. They ride up your butt! I wasn't expecting that.

We bought a new Christmas tree on Saturday. I hope it works out okay. My husband has always wanted a prelit tree because he spends hours individually lighting every branch himself otherwise (he's such a perfectionist!). Apparently though, when the lights burn out they can't be replaced, which seems dumb to me. So the tree will have a shelf life so to speak. But it makes him happy and that's what matters. His hatred of putting up the tree and lighting it really puts a damper on Christmas, so this will be good I hope!

ETA: I just googled it and WinterSilks is the brand of long underwear my MIL gets. It's wonderful stuff. I think I can find it locally since we sent her some a couple of years ago.

 

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Well ladies. It is darn freezing here! At least the sun is out. I am wearing my leggings under my pants to keep warm.

I'm considering looking for long underwear, the real stuff. Oh, and further on the boy shorts issue, well boyshorts-2, lyra-0. They ride up your butt! I wasn't expecting that.

We bought a new Christmas tree on Saturday. I hope it works out okay. My husband has always wanted a prelit tree because he spends hours individually lighting every branch himself otherwise (he's such a perfectionist!). Apparently though, when the lights burn out they can't be replaced, which seems dumb to me. So the tree will have a shelf life so to speak. But it makes him happy and that's what matters. His hatred of putting up the tree and lighting it really puts a damper on Christmas, so this will be good I hope!

ETA: I just googled it and WinterSilks is the brand of long underwear my MIL gets. It's wonderful stuff. I think I can find it locally since we sent her some a couple of years ago.

We have had a prelit tree for 2 or 3 years and so far so good.

I wear Vera Wang leggings (ankle length) under my jeans and sweats. I bought it at Kohl's.

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

all you chilly women make me jealous! I'm always hot, and there are only so many clothes you can remove without losing the respect of neighbors, friends, you family, the dogs......

 

[missy]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

all you chilly women make me jealous! I'm always hot, and there are only so many clothes you can remove without losing the respect of neighbors, friends, you family, the dogs......

LOL I see the problem you are having.

I wish I was either one or the other. I am always either too cold or too hot usually within minutes of the other. My dh says I have a temperature comfort range of 70.5 to 71 F LOL. It is very difficult for me to get comfortable temperature wise unfortunately and I live much of my day being either too cold or too hot when I am at work or in a situation where I cannot control the temperature.
All my health tests are negative thank goodness but I keep thinking there is something messed up with my internal body thermometer involving hormones (ie thyroid functioning or something like that).

 

[ksinger]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Well, today I'm running hot and cold, but not for THAT reason, but because I have a nasty headcold. I had about a two hour window today when I didn't feel completely vile, but now the ibuprofen and the pseudoephedrine aren't working....always so freakin' delightful to feel the worst during the wee hours. Last night at about 2:30am, I finally went to the living room to give my poor husband at least a few hour of not having to feel me thrashing and hacking....

Grrrr....

 

[gemgirl]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

all you chilly women make me jealous! I'm always hot, and there are only so many clothes you can remove without losing the respect of neighbors, friends, you family, the dogs......

I'm someone who is usually chilly (except when I'm having a hot flash and I don't get them often anymore), and I've always envied people
(like my husband) who is really never cold and in fact, walks around with their jacket open in the winter. Me, I'm a layers girl when it's really cold. Even at this time of year, I'll put a camisole over my bra but under my cotton sweater because it's gotten down right brisk! In winter time, I'll put a long sleeve thin cotton tee shirt under whatever I'm wearing. Its something about layering that works to keep me warmer, even if the layers aren't thick. In fact it's better when they're not thick. I hate feeling like a kid in a snowsuit!

Uppy, what are winters like in Oklahoma? How cold does it get in say January and February?

 

[ksinger]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

all you chilly women make me jealous! I'm always hot, and there are only so many clothes you can remove without losing the respect of neighbors, friends, you family, the dogs......

I'm someone who is usually chilly (except when I'm having a hot flash and I don't get them often anymore), and I've always envied people
(like my husband) who is really never cold and in fact, walks around with their jacket open in the winter. Me, I'm a layers girl when it's really cold. Even at this time of year, I'll put a camisole over my bra but under my cotton sweater because it's gotten down right brisk! In winter time, I'll put a long sleeve thin cotton tee shirt under whatever I'm wearing. Its something about layering that works to keep me warmer, even if the layers aren't thick. In fact it's better when they're not thick. I hate feeling like a kid in a snowsuit!

Uppy, what are winters like in Oklahoma? How cold does it get in say January and February?

(If I may...'cause I'm here and she isn't) Oklahoma winters can be wild. It can be 70 degrees on Christmas day, or it can be 15 degrees, you just never know. We get big, wet, soggy snows that disappear in 24 hours. Or not. In general I'd say we don't have severe winters, at least not by midwest/upper midwest standards - it rarely gets too cold for very long: we dip down into teens and single digits, but always warms back up. I have had rosemary plants that have wintered for the last 5 years, in fact. But we do almost always have that wicked sustained 12-20mph Oklahoma wind to add a killer windchill to everything.

Of course, last year was a standout. We had a genuine blizzard, the likes of which I don't remember ever seeing, and I've lived here most of my life. Alas, I was out IN it trying to get home. Horizontal winds, total whiteout conditions. You'd have to get out every mile or so and beat your windshield wipers clean of ice pellets. I got stuck and had to be pushed out. It took me 2.5 hours to go 17 miles. Genuinely brutal. Then not long after that, we had a big round of tornadoes. A month later we had a truly record-breaking hailstorm, that totalled our roof, broke 3 windshields and hammered 2 cars, and shredded screens and broke siding. THEN we had a flash flood the likes of which we haven't seen here in at least 50 years. At least the tornadoes and flood had the decency to give us a miss...

Here's a link to a video of some of the flooding. This is fun 'cause it's not far at all from my house. There is a big, paved (thank goodness!) drainage ditch that runs right through this neighborhood, and I don't think anyone in this area actually had their house flooded. And this was NOT the worst flooding, by FAR.

http://newsok.com/multimedia/video/95661470001?custom_click=search

 

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

It's 1:30 pm and I am tired already. Voted this morning then went food shopping and bought my turkey!

Let's see if I can put some smiles on your faces today.

 

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

How about this one?

 

[soocool]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Final chuckle!

 

[JillyC]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Ohhh soocool! You not only put a smile on my face, you made me laugh!!! Thanks! I'm beginning to resemble the first one.....

 

[Upgradable]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Ohhh soocool! You not only put a smile on my face, you made me laugh!!! Thanks! I'm beginning to resemble the first one.....

And I'm beginning to resemble the last!

 

[gemgirl]

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Those are hysterical! Thanks soocool!