getting lost in stupid stuff

[distracts]

aaaaaaaaand then I wrote a 2500 word post about it. Completely normal.

 

[distracts]

OH ALSO, when we got home, the husband was all, "So, apparently people sometimes give checks of money instead of presents and maybe a lot of people did that, they were saying?" and he was SO SUPER CONFUSED like he'd never heard of this before, which was adorable. And also when it clicked that THAT was why the wedding planner had asked me three times whether I wanted her to pack all the cards in one of our bags so we could take them with us tonight. I was like, "uh, it's not like we're going to have time to read them, send them with my mom." But I bet some people want to take them and quickly deposit all the money before their honeymoon. It all made so much more sense.

(We are not going to have time to read them because we leave at 9 am to the airport to go to Scotland!)

 

[audball]

YAY! It sounds like despite some setbacks, that you had an amazing day! I have no idea what city you're in, but all day Saturday I was thinking how amazing the weather was in my city (bay area, FL), which is unusual this time of year. I was hoping it was super where you are too!

 

[audball]

How's it going ladies?! Anything new to report? I can't wait for distracts to come back and post pictures!!

AFM: A few weeks ago an acquaintance from high school posted photos from her elopement. They told their families but did it alone. It's more/less EXACTLY what we had originally thought we wanted to do and couldn't quite figure out the where/when/how. She totally nailed our whole concept. I wrote to her and got more information and details and we got pretty excited about the thought of maybe being able to get married this year instead of spending 3-4 times as much and waiting until next Fall.

But we're waffling. We felt like no matter what someone would be disappointed or we'd regret something. We were worried we'd regret spending so much money by throwing the real event and with the elopement we worried that we'd feel bad/odd by not having our nearest and dearest with us. It felt like a no win situation and we've been stuck in that limbo for weeks.

Well, yesterday we got invited to an impromptu lunch with FI's family (his mother, sister/BIL, brother/SIL, and both nephews). His Mom asked how wedding planning was going and like a champ he answered that we were still evaluating our options and that we hadn't ruled out the idea of eloping just the two of us. After a somewhat surprised look, his Mom said we should do whatever made us happy and that she would throw us a party after we got back if we chose that option so we could all celebrate together. His brother said, isn't eloping supposed to be a secret? And I laughed and said I can't keep secrets. They all laughed and then his brother (who just got married last year) said it would definitely be less stressful and less expensive (they easily had a 30k affair, mostly paid by SIL's father, though). Then his wife, the SIL, started talking about some friends who did something similar and spouted off about their experience. And his sister/BIL were recommended cities that would be nice and said we could just take a long trip/more real honeymoon on our first anniversary. In short, all happy/positive responses. We kind of knew they wouldn't be opposed, but were thrilled that they were so on board with no convincing.

I'm not at all worried about my family as I've been telling them I was going to elope for years (even before I ever met FI). So we're researching possible places and considering it much more seriously than we were at first. We may be getting married THIS YEAR!! Ahh!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

AUD, um, how freaking awesome is that?!!? I'm so glad to hear that your future in-laws are on board with your possible elopement AND that you could become a Mrs WAY sooner than you originally anticipated! WOOHOOO!!!!

 

[audball]

AUD, un, how freaking awesome is that?!!? I'm so glad to hear that your future in-laws are on board with your possible elopement AND that you could become a Mrs WAY sooner than you originally anticipated! WOOHOOO!!!!

THANK YOU!!!

 

[TooPatient]

Yay Audball!!!!!
Sounds like a great, supportive family!


SO....
Got confirmation that guests can check in an hour early. Waiting on final confirmation since she didn't pull it out specifically when she said my timeline changes looked good. (the event coordinator at the winery has to get the okay, but has pretty broad authority)
Looks like we're now doing: 3pm guest check-in, 4:30 ceremony, 5:30 reception (right after ceremony, this is estimate), brunch the next day, wine tasting after brunch.

Have first 2 hors d'oeuvres picked out.
Found woman to order in all of the flowers I'll need. I may have her put some together (she'd do free of charge assembly!!!) or just leave in buckets to keep fresh then I'll do morning of.
Tentative 1st dance song selected (Come Fly With Me). The only hesitation is that I'd like a waltz better than foxtrot.
Getting together recordings for dancing music.
Small progress on song to walk down the aisle to. (FI wants to arrange a song and then have recorded locally by string group since we can't fit having them in person in the budget)

Need to get final layout of invites done ASAP so they can get printed and out as soon as I have final confirmation of time.

 

[audball]

Thanks! They really are wonderful.

It sounds like everything is coming together for you too!

We're looking at doing this Fall after all. My sister got engaged a few weeks ago and they've set a date for September this year. My younger sister (who is about to hit her 5th wedding anniversary and already has a 3 1/2 year old) just told me she's pregnant again and due at the end of January. Just another reminder that life will continue getting in the way and that there isn't any sense in trying to work around other people's plans!

So we're waiting to hear back from our preferred choice, but we think we'll be eloping just the two of us in about 5 months towards the end of October! Eek!

 

[TooPatient]

How did I NOT get the pocket folds before now!?

Oh well....

I love the selection on some of the online sources from the DIY thread. If I'd have been thinking, I would have already selected them and had them sitting here ready to go. I need to go look at the local stores to see what we have in the area. Might get a better (or at least as good) price without having to wait for shipping. Now that I got the confirmation of times, I really want to get these sent out. Of course I can't send them without having them printed and I can't have them printed until I have them designed and I can't design them until I know what size inserts I'm using.

 

[TooPatient]

I was on the phone yesterday and had a YIKES moment. The guy said "Wow! Congratulations. So your wedding is in just over three months."

Done:
STD's mailed
his w-band bought
venue selected/booked
wine tasting arranged

In process:
invitations (hope to mail Monday)
photographer
cake (tasting July 5)
DJ
music selection
flowers (verging on done)
dinner menu
brunch menu

To do:
(EVERYTHING!!!!)
DRESS
my w-band (plain gold)
hair
nails
shoes
his tux
dress for "A"
plane ticket for out of town guest
figure out who is sharing room with "A"
who to drive "A" over on the day of
Are we staying Friday night too??? (added cost of about $1,000...)
Place in our house for TWO guests to stay (not a couple so need two locations)
someone to watch animals for at least 2 nights
KETUBAH!!! (Need this ASAP!!! -- artist has to have time to make!)

 

[audball]

Our elopement is less than two weeks after your wedding so I'm starting to feel the pressure too!

You are making lots of progress! Try to just tackle one thing at a time and that should help you not get so overwhelmed.



As for us -- we made some big decisions this week! We booked my hair and makeup for the day of! AND we worked out a deal with our choice photographer!!! We have to finish up the contract and get his retainer check in the mail this weekend.

Still left to do:
Shop for and buy both our wedding bands
Shop for and buy day of attire for us both
Finalize flower selections for bouquet/bout
Make a spa appointment for mani/pedi before we leave
Get our marriage license (the day before the wedding when we get into town!)

I think that's it!

 

[TooPatient]

Meeting with the (possible) photographers today. They are a husband/wife team and do all weddings together. We met them at the wedding expo and I liked them.

Looked at the website with info they made for us and the lowest price package is $2200. That only includes 6 hours shooting and 100 pictures
The card I have from the expo (not that many months ago) says $1800, unlimited coverage on the day of, ALL high resolution images with release.

Hopefully they'll honor the card I have. I was hoping they'd be willing to negotiate down even lower since we are mid-week and not during the busy season. Still going to try!

 

[TooPatient]

Our elopement is less than two weeks after your wedding so I'm starting to feel the pressure too!

You are making lots of progress! Try to just tackle one thing at a time and that should help you not get so overwhelmed.



As for us -- we made some big decisions this week! We booked my hair and makeup for the day of! AND we worked out a deal with our choice photographer!!! We have to finish up the contract and get his retainer check in the mail this weekend.

Still left to do:
Shop for and buy both our wedding bands
Shop for and buy day of attire for us both
Finalize flower selections for bouquet/bout
Make a spa appointment for mani/pedi before we leave
Get our marriage license (the day before the wedding when we get into town!)

I think that's it!

Great progress!!!

Watch with the wedding bands because some can take a bit of time. The place we're working with needs 8-10 weeks.

 

[audball]

Meeting with the (possible) photographers today. They are a husband/wife team and do all weddings together. We met them at the wedding expo and I liked them.

Looked at the website with info they made for us and the lowest price package is $2200. That only includes 6 hours shooting and 100 pictures
The card I have from the expo (not that many months ago) says $1800, unlimited coverage on the day of, ALL high resolution images with release.

Hopefully they'll honor the card I have. I was hoping they'd be willing to negotiate down even lower since we are mid-week and not during the busy season. Still going to try!

Let us know how it goes (or went!).

I hope they honor the certificate from the expo...their regular package seems ridiculous! Only 100 pictures?! From 6 hours of shooting?!

I know these things vary by region, but we got 4 hours of coverage (with a break in between the first three hours and the last hour), that are expected to yield ~150 shots/hour of shooting. It includes an online gallery to share with our family friends and a disc of all the high resolution, fully edited images with a print release. Our price was $1,200.

 

[audball]

Great progress!!!

Watch with the wedding bands because some can take a bit of time. The place we're working with needs 8-10 weeks.

Thanks! I dont think we'll have issues with the bands. I'm going for (most likely) a plain 2mm white gold pipe cut comfort fit band from eweddingbands.com. His favorite, so far, is a sandblasted titanium band from an Etsy seller that has a 3-5 day turnaround period.

We will get on that sooner than later, though!

 

[TooPatient]

Meeting with the (possible) photographers today. They are a husband/wife team and do all weddings together. We met them at the wedding expo and I liked them.

Looked at the website with info they made for us and the lowest price package is $2200. That only includes 6 hours shooting and 100 pictures
The card I have from the expo (not that many months ago) says $1800, unlimited coverage on the day of, ALL high resolution images with release.

Hopefully they'll honor the card I have. I was hoping they'd be willing to negotiate down even lower since we are mid-week and not during the busy season. Still going to try!

Let us know how it goes (or went!).

I hope they honor the certificate from the expo...their regular package seems ridiculous! Only 100 pictures?! From 6 hours of shooting?!

I know these things vary by region, but we got 4 hours of coverage (with a break in between the first three hours and the last hour), that are expected to yield ~150 shots/hour of shooting. It includes an online gallery to share with our family friends and a disc of all the high resolution, fully edited images with a print release. Our price was $1,200.

Well....
They increased their prices since the show and won't honor the old pricing. They can separate it from the package so we only get what we want. That would be $300/hour shooting and they would touch up all but the goofy looking ones (eyes half closed, etc) so we'd get digital high-res of all photos taken during the day. 8 hours is usually about 700-800 pictures (touched up).

The base ($2200 package) is not interesting. The next package up does everything we would want but is $3300
We're considering doing the hourly thing for something like 8 hours. I hesitate because that would NOT include any sort of engagement session (which we wouldn't care about but I'd like time to get super relaxed around them since neither of us like having pictures taken). We'd also have to provide a room for them (add $149) and food (add about $150).

We did really like this husband/wife team. Similar interests to us (one is commercial helicopter pilot!) and just super relaxed but still professional. Their prices are actually in line with (or even a bit lower than) other photographers in this area.
But.... it is business and the budget is the budget. We aren't ruling them out entirely just yet but we aren't signing with them yet either.

I'm checking other websites for the "recommended vendors" at the winery. Some are closer so might not charge for travel expenses. People on that side of the mountains also usually just cost a lot less!

 

[audball]

Well....
They increased their prices since the show and won't honor the old pricing. They can separate it from the package so we only get what we want. That would be $300/hour shooting and they would touch up all but the goofy looking ones (eyes half closed, etc) so we'd get digital high-res of all photos taken during the day. 8 hours is usually about 700-800 pictures (touched up).

The base ($2200 package) is not interesting. The next package up does everything we would want but is $3300
We're considering doing the hourly thing for something like 8 hours. I hesitate because that would NOT include any sort of engagement session (which we wouldn't care about but I'd like time to get super relaxed around them since neither of us like having pictures taken). We'd also have to provide a room for them (add $149) and food (add about $150).

We did really like this husband/wife team. Similar interests to us (one is commercial helicopter pilot!) and just super relaxed but still professional. Their prices are actually in line with (or even a bit lower than) other photographers in this area.
But.... it is business and the budget is the budget. We aren't ruling them out entirely just yet but we aren't signing with them yet either.

I'm checking other websites for the "recommended vendors" at the winery. Some are closer so might not charge for travel expenses. People on that side of the mountains also usually just cost a lot less!

That doesn't seem super bad...but not super great either. I would definitely look for someone more local to your venue to avoid travel costs. There are good photographers everywhere. I think it's senseless to pay for somebody's travel when you are likely to find someone you like locally.

Ask your venue for a preferred vendor list. Most places have them. That's how we found our photographer. And because ours is a weekday and he had nothing booked for that month yet, he threw in extra shooting time.

 

[TooPatient]

Well....
They increased their prices since the show and won't honor the old pricing. They can separate it from the package so we only get what we want. That would be $300/hour shooting and they would touch up all but the goofy looking ones (eyes half closed, etc) so we'd get digital high-res of all photos taken during the day. 8 hours is usually about 700-800 pictures (touched up).

The base ($2200 package) is not interesting. The next package up does everything we would want but is $3300
We're considering doing the hourly thing for something like 8 hours. I hesitate because that would NOT include any sort of engagement session (which we wouldn't care about but I'd like time to get super relaxed around them since neither of us like having pictures taken). We'd also have to provide a room for them (add $149) and food (add about $150).

We did really like this husband/wife team. Similar interests to us (one is commercial helicopter pilot!) and just super relaxed but still professional. Their prices are actually in line with (or even a bit lower than) other photographers in this area.
But.... it is business and the budget is the budget. We aren't ruling them out entirely just yet but we aren't signing with them yet either.

I'm checking other websites for the "recommended vendors" at the winery. Some are closer so might not charge for travel expenses. People on that side of the mountains also usually just cost a lot less!

That doesn't seem super bad...but not super great either. I would definitely look for someone more local to your venue to avoid travel costs. There are good photographers everywhere. I think it's senseless to pay for somebody's travel when you are likely to find someone you like locally.

Ask your venue for a preferred vendor list. Most places have them. That's how we found our photographer. And because ours is a weekday and he had nothing booked for that month yet, he threw in extra shooting time.

I dug out the preferred vendor list and am calling a few of the suggestions. Looks like we can get a MUCH better package for $1000-$1500 less than these people wanted. (I checked their contract again and it looks like it would be close to 3200+. They've also got this thing in their contract that forbids us from ever editing any of the images, providing digital to anyone, etc -- this is all excluded in the "release" they provide...)

The people I already have e-mails to are closer (probably no travel fee, room to stay over, etc) and have much lower rates (like a great package that is better than the one the people close to us would have done for just $1200!). The quality is at least as good too!!


Added to my "to-do" list:

register (people asking about this already!)
shoes for me
hair + makeup
nails
marriage license


Oh -- and another big one:
To change my name or not???
Or maybe we both change to something different?

He and "A" already have different last names so it isn't like that would be a trauma. He's been married before and at least one other person is still using his last name. His last name is extremely common (like there are routinely 10 or more others in the same city as us with the same first and last name as him registered at the same stores). His first and last name are also the first and last name of some actor so we frequently go shopping only to have the sales person start joking around about "his latest movie"
On the other hand, it is a pain to change so I'd hate to make extra work. He's already set up at work with an email based on his name. Everyone at work and in his hobby area know him by that name.
We've talked before and he doesn't feel hugely strongly. He just doesn't want to use my last name (I agree -- rather not have us easy to find) and I don't want to have us each keep different names (have you ever tried to register a kid for school and have to explain that her dad's last name is different from hers and my last name is different than his? What a headache!!)

 

[audball]

I dug out the preferred vendor list and am calling a few of the suggestions. Looks like we can get a MUCH better package for $1000-$1500 less than these people wanted. (I checked their contract again and it looks like it would be close to 3200+. They've also got this thing in their contract that forbids us from ever editing any of the images, providing digital to anyone, etc -- this is all excluded in the "release" they provide...)

The people I already have e-mails to are closer (probably no travel fee, room to stay over, etc) and have much lower rates (like a great package that is better than the one the people close to us would have done for just $1200!). The quality is at least as good too!!

Added to my "to-do" list:

register (people asking about this already!)
shoes for me
hair + makeup
nails
marriage license

Yay! This sounds like a much better option. Definitely get in touch with them. You may jive well with a few of them too and get more coverage for less money. Win win.

Oh -- and another big one:
To change my name or not???
Or maybe we both change to something different?

He and "A" already have different last names so it isn't like that would be a trauma. He's been married before and at least one other person is still using his last name. His last name is extremely common (like there are routinely 10 or more others in the same city as us with the same first and last name as him registered at the same stores). His first and last name are also the first and last name of some actor so we frequently go shopping only to have the sales person start joking around about "his latest movie"
On the other hand, it is a pain to change so I'd hate to make extra work. He's already set up at work with an email based on his name. Everyone at work and in his hobby area know him by that name.
We've talked before and he doesn't feel hugely strongly. He just doesn't want to use my last name (I agree -- rather not have us easy to find) and I don't want to have us each keep different names (have you ever tried to register a kid for school and have to explain that her dad's last name is different from hers and my last name is different than his? What a headache!!)

This is totally a personal decision. My soon to be brother in law (FI's brother) got married in Spring last year. He married a woman who had a son before they got together. Her son has his biological father's last name (though he isn't in the picture), she had her maiden name, and then BIL had his last name. They lived together for a few years before getting married and it was rather confusing for them to all have different names. They have been together since her son was less than a year old so he has grown up with my FBIL as his Dad. After they got married, she took his name and they filed the legal paperwork for FBIL to legally adopt him. It all was finalized back in April and they all now share a family name and are very happy with their decision.

I can see the merits to all sides of the equation. For me, personally, I'll be changing my name. It's important for me to have a shared family name and I'm not at all attached to my maiden name.

 

[TooPatient]

111 days to go!!!!
(sounds like so much until you realize it is only about 3 1/2 months!)

Talking with two photographers who are MUCH better. Looking at 8 hours of photography, no travel expenses, etc for <$2,000. We get all digital files, all high resolution, all releases plus engagement photos. Can add on albums and stuff if we want later.

Meeting at least two bakers on July 5. I've got a 3rd who was going to get back to me. Both have beautiful cakes on their websites and yummy sounding flavor options. Price is $$$$$ less than having one done over here
We're looking at doing a 3-tier (even though we only have about 20 guests, we want to have plenty and also they just look cool!). I'm able to handle small amounts of wheat so we can have a regular cake!!!!

Finalizing invitations tomorrow. Sending out tomorrow if I can talk to the winery otherwise will send out Monday. (need to make sure that the right rooms from our block go to the right guests -- especially those who need to be closer to minimize walking)



Updated to do list -- seems like every time I turn around I remember some other thing I need to do!

Done:
STD's mailed
his w-band bought
venue selected/booked
wine tasting arranged

In process:
invitations (Will mail Monday -- no matter what they look like!)
photographer (two promising possibilities found, must meet in person and make final choice)
cake (tastings July 5 -- two bakers confirmed, waiting to hear back from 3rd)
DJ (have contract, just have to finalize)
music selection
flowers (verging on done)
dinner menu
brunch menu

To do:
(EVERYTHING!!!!)
DRESS
my w-band (plain gold)
hair
nails
shoes
his tux
dress for "A"
plane ticket for out of town guest
figure out who is sharing room with "A"
who to drive "A" over on the day of
Are we staying Friday night too??? (added cost of about $1,000...)
Place in our house for TWO guests to stay (not a couple so need two locations)
someone to watch animals for at least 2 nights
KETUBAH!!! (Need this ASAP!!! -- artist has to have time to make!)
frame to hang ketubah
order kosher wine for blessings
order kosher meals for Rabbi???
find a glass to break
toasting glasses
special Kiddush cup
chuppah
new kippah for FI
kippot (plural of kippah) for guests
ceremony programs
translate Hebrew sections to English to print for guests
book of blessings for dinner
guest book?
schedule mikvah visit for me
marriage license
practice 1st dance (would like to have practiced with our instructor for 1st and last dances)
centerpiece materials

 

[audball]

Glad you found some good options!!

 

[TooPatient]

Just got the cake ordered. Doing a 3 tier cake with butter cream frosting and fresh orchids. Each tier is different flavors. Chocolate with bits of fresh blackberries and a chunky blackberry filling. Vanilla with a raspberry filling. Lemon with fresh raspberries.

Had two tastings today. Really liked the first woman and her stuff she brought for us to try and didn't think we could do better. Then we met the second woman and were even more impressed! Her cakes and frostings are amazing. She also took the prize for best in Washington state at the big cake competition this year.

 

[audball]

Just got the cake ordered. Doing a 3 tier cake with butter cream frosting and fresh orchids. Each tier is different flavors. Chocolate with bits of fresh blackberries and a chunky blackberry filling. Vanilla with a raspberry filling. Lemon with fresh raspberries.

Had two tastings today. Really liked the first woman and her stuff she brought for us to try and didn't think we could do better. Then we met the second woman and were even more impressed! Her cakes and frostings are amazing. She also took the prize for best in Washington state at the big cake competition this year.

That sounds delicious!

 

[audball]

I BOUGHT MY DRESS!!!!

 

[pandabee]

I BOUGHT MY DRESS!!!!

yayyyyy!!! now onto your shoes!

 

[audball]

I BOUGHT MY DRESS!!!!

yayyyyy!!! now onto your shoes!

Indeed! Working on that part! I just ordered an awesome hair fascinator and we're working on Andrew's outfit too!!

 

[TooPatient]

I BOUGHT MY DRESS!!!!

yayyyyy!!! now onto your shoes!

Indeed! Working on that part! I just ordered an awesome hair fascinator and we're working on Andrew's outfit too!!

Yay!

What dress did you go with?

 

[audball]

Yay!

What dress did you go with?

I tried to find a link to it online and couldn't. We bought it at Macy's. It is by Betsy and Adam. Short, white lace over peach satin, a little poof in the skirt with a bit of tulle sticking out the bottom, cap sleeves. Just completely and utterly perfect.

Best yet, it was 75% off and then an additional 10% off for buying over the 4th weekend sale. I would have paid ten times what I actually paid for this dress, though. It's just an amazing bonus that it was a deal!

I don't have a good picture of me in it, so I don't want to post yet, but here is a picture I took of the coloring/details.

 

[TooPatient]

So pretty! I love the delicateness in the details. The pink under is just

 

[audball]

So pretty! I love the delicateness in the details. The pink under is just

Thank you! I totally love it. It's perfect for our Savannah elopement.

I tried on 17 dresses total, this was #16 of 17. I only even tried on #17 because I had ordered it online a week before I found this one and figured I may as well since it was here! It's going back tonight, though.