Funny things your Children have said.....

[jordyonbass]

Not my son as he hasn't started to talk just yet - however last week I was doing a land survey and a young boy around 4 or 5 years old asked me a question that left me speechless and unable to breathe from laughing:

"Do you even know what you are doing??"

No kid, some days I really don't

 

[canuk-gal]

Not my son as he hasn't started to talk just yet - however last week I was doing a land survey and a young boy around 4 or 5 years old asked me a question that left me speechless and unable to breathe from laughing:

"Do you even know what you are doing??"

No kid, some days I really don't

Laughing is the best. +++++

 

[joelly]

Not funny so much as out of the mouths of babe. Here’s an email my niece sent me last year. Right after we lost our precious Francesca.


“

Hi Aunt Missy,

I heard Francesa died.
I am very sorry. I know you
loved her very much. She
was a beautiful, sweet cat
and if it wasn't for you she would
have died years before now,
when she was just a kitten.
I know you have given her a great life
and I'm sure Frankie appreciates
all your love and kindness
towards her. Dying is part of
Life, and nature, you can't prevent
it. You can only comfort, and that is just
What you did.

Love,
Alexa

“


Her sweet wise email made me cry. But this time they were grateful tears vs tears of pain.

ETA Alexa was 11 when she emailed this to me.

this sends me to tears. It was hard to let Charlie go. He was a mere pup when we rescued him. He was 8 yrs old when his kidney failed. There’s nothing we could have done for him. The vet advised to put him down. I’m still coming into terms on how I kill my love, my heart dog. But now as I read Alexa’s email to you, she said it best. “Dying is part of life and nature, you can’t prevent it. You can only comfort.” That’s what we did.

Thank you for sharing this and thank Alexa for me. I may begin to heal from Charlie’s death

 

[Missy]

this sends me to tears. It was hard to let Charlie go. He was a mere pup when we rescued him. He was 8 yrs old when his kidney failed. There’s nothing we could have done for him. The vet advised to put him down. I’m still coming into terms on how I kill my love, my heart dog. But now as I read Alexa’s email to you, she said it best. “Dying is part of life and nature, you can’t prevent it. You can only comfort.” That’s what we did.

Thank you for sharing this and thank Alexa for me. I may begin to heal from Charlie’s death

I am so sorry for your loss. There truly are no words to convey the deep grief and sense of despair when we lose a beloved fur baby. Especially our heart baby. I like to think Charlie is now with Francesca and they are playing and frolicking and caring for each other along with all our other beloved furry babies who have left this earth. We did all we could for them while they were here and we gave them the ultimate gift of peace and freedom from pain. The ultimate selfless act. Because we miss them so terribly. But they are at peace now. Sending you gentle (((hugs))) and good wishes.

 

[Missy]

Not my son as he hasn't started to talk just yet - however last week I was doing a land survey and a young boy around 4 or 5 years old asked me a question that left me speechless and unable to breathe from laughing:

"Do you even know what you are doing??"

No kid, some days I really don't

LOL I think that is every single one of us at times. There are days we are just flying by the seat of our pants so to speak and during those times that just has to be enough.

 

[Polished]

A couple of things come to mind. We were driving in the car one day and spotted some horses in a paddock. It was cold and the horses were adorned in colourful winter coats. DS around four, piped up with, "why are those horses wearing t-shirts?".

Once we were at the airport with a very tired 3 year old daughter. DH was attempting to put her shoes on as she carelessly proclaimed that "Dad sometimes you are very very .... (long pause) .... strange". It wasn't so much funny, in itself, it was more seeing that the man sitting next to them not be able to stop laughing.

Another occasion we were watching in Australia the World Swimming championships. An attractive American female swimmer was being interviewed. Young DD suddenly says, "maybe she could come and babysit us sometime".

Another time we took our three to visit Captain Cook's cottage in Melbourne. Nice educational outing we thought. 5 year old daughter didn't agree, She pretended to yawn in feigned boredom before saying "and since when did Captain Cook live next door to a gift shop".

 

[lucida818]

When my DD was 4, she asked how did I manage to find such a good husband like daddy! Needless to say, her daddy was on cloud 9

 

[Cluless]

this sends me to tears. It was hard to let Charlie go. He was a mere pup when we rescued him. He was 8 yrs old when his kidney failed. There’s nothing we could have done for him. The vet advised to put him down. I’m still coming into terms on how I kill my love, my heart dog. But now as I read Alexa’s email to you, she said it best. “Dying is part of life and nature, you can’t prevent it. You can only comfort.” That’s what we did.

Thank you for sharing this and thank Alexa for me. I may begin to heal from Charlie’s death

@joelly I am sorry for your loss Charlie was a Beautiful boy he had very kind eyes xo

 

[Beautiful-disaster]

Me - opening the closet and discovering one of our pets had left a very unpleasant present.....
‘OH MY GOD - WHO POO’D IN THE WARDROBE??’
My miss six calling up from downstairs ..
‘WASN’T ME - MUST HAVE BEEN DAD!’
Dad sitting across the room from me with the most stunned look on his face I have ever seen!
Me - laughing until I nearly wee’d myself ! LMAO

We work with kids so they do say the darndest things sometimes.
I will never forget the little girl who came up to my partner while he was twisting balloons and announced on top note to the whole group - *My daddy has a big Pumper Too!! *!!!!
Hahahahahahahaha.

 

[Cluless]

Got a phone call today from 5 year old granddaughter:
G: Hi Nonna, I'm sorry I ate all the cacca, it was really good. I'm sooooo sorry there's no more for you and Nonno to taste.
Me: doing happy dance and trying not to sound too happy and wondering wtf why would her mother (my daughter) make her daughter eat all the cacca. Hey sweetie you ate what? don't worry love you don't have to share everything with us.
G: But no, Nonna you don't understand it was really good, hum ok we'll buy you some and for Nonno too ok , sorry .

That's when I understood this is what the little stinker ate lol

 

[canuk-gal]

A couple of things come to mind. We were driving in the car one day and spotted some horses in a paddock. It was cold and the horses were adorned in colourful winter coats. DS around four, piped up with, "why are those horses wearing t-shirts?".

Once we were at the airport with a very tired 3 year old daughter. DH was attempting to put her shoes on as she carelessly proclaimed that "Dad sometimes you are very very .... (long pause) .... strange". It wasn't so much funny, in itself, it was more seeing that the man sitting next to them not be able to stop laughing.

Another occasion we were watching in Australia the World Swimming championships. An attractive American female swimmer was being interviewed. Young DD suddenly says, "maybe she could come and babysit us sometime".

Another time we took our three to visit Captain Cook's cottage in Melbourne. Nice educational outing we thought. 5 year old daughter didn't agree, She pretended to yawn in feigned boredom before saying "and since when did Captain Cook live next door to a gift shop".

TTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO funny!

 

[joelly]

@joelly I am sorry for your loss Charlie was a Beautiful boy he had very kind eyes xo

Thank you! Yes he does. I miss him. My walking partner. My boy. I'm so proud of him.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I'm realizing most of my stories are about my youngest because he is a spitfire.

We were at Marshall's one day and our son was about four and right as I'm checking out he tells the cashier out of the clear blue:

"My daddy has a big penis"

Couldn't get out of there fast enough!

 

[lucida818]

@YadaYadaYada
Hilarious! I laughed & teared simultaneously....DH asked what was so funny?

 

[Mekp]

I love these!

My daughter was 4 and asking me "why" various things happened (I remember it was about weather). I was quickly in over my head and she grew impatient with me saying "I don't know". I tried a different tack and said "I don't know, why do you think that happens?". She put hands on her hips and said, "Mommy, I don't know but I'm a kid. You are a grown-up. Don't you think you should know".

At 5 years old she was diagnosed with autism after a long day of testing. I wanted to be open about this and tried to explain to her a bit about what autism is. She let out an exasperated sigh and said, "Mommy, it's my brain. If I had autism I think I'd know".

She was absolutely hilarious when she was little and her spirit always reassured me that she would be just fine.

 

[Austina]

I remembered a time we went on a boat trip along the Thames. All of a sudden, DS pipes up “Mummy, why does that lady have a moustache, only men have moustaches, but that lady has one?” You can imagine how mortifying it was, I was desperately trying to shut him up by pointing out things to distract him, in the end I just had to put my hand over his mouth, and tell him to shut up!

 

[Tartansparkles]

The flush handle on our toilet broke so we had a little family joke about how daddy had done such a big poo it broke the handle when he tried to flush it away.

So. We go to Screwfix to buy a new handle except it's not a shop as such, you stand in a 2ft by 2ft square and give your order to a girl at the desk who shouts it through to the warehouse. Hubby gives the order "a new handle please" to be followed by a 4 year old with the straightest face ever explaining all about daddy's great big poo that broke the original handle. Of course we couldn't even leave, we had to stand with all the others customers, who were by now strangely silent but shaking, waiting for the new handle to arrive.

 

[autumngems]

When my daughter was little of course she couldn't pronounce some words correctly, she couldn't pronounce convertible but had heard us use it. We were driving around and she points and yells "look mom it's a verticle!"

She used to call Limos limbos too sounded so cute.

I will never forget we were in line at the grocery store and she's sitting in the cart and she announced, "mom, I farted" quite loudly, I nearly died.

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

Just remembered another one!

Mine was a terrible eater when he was young. Breast milk, formula, solids, whatever.....he hated it all.

After a few years which involved specially made purees and him being spoonfed on my lap we eventually got to a stage where he became a brilliant eater.

DS5: Mummy do you have any milk left?

M: Yeah sure sweetie would you like a glass now?

DS5: No I mean milk from your boobies.

M: Noo of course not. You stopped drinking when you turned six months and the milk goes away.

DS5 (sadly): Oh Mummy I'm so sad I didn't enjoy your milk when I was little. Your food is so yummy, your milk would have been delish if I had better taste back then.

M (wanting to laugh but also feeling very sorry for him): Aww honey it doesn't work like that. Mummy's milk has nothing to do with mummy's cooking. Completely unrelated.

DS5 (looking dubious): Are you sure? But you're such a great cook!

M: It's not about cooking skills honey. It's produced by the body.

I proceeded to explain to him how mummy's milk worked but for a long time he could not let go of the idea that it was somehow linked to my cooking ability.

Poor baby!!!

 

[rainydaze]

These stories are priceless, I am having such a good chuckle!

One of my kids, who was about 3 years old at the time, woke up one autumn morning to mostly-bare trees. A large number of leaves had fallen overnight, so it was a rather sudden, dramatic change. He got upset and said 'Put them back mama!! I don't like it!' It took me a while to figure out what he was referring to!

Another time I made m&m cookies. He placed a hand on each of my cheeks and said 'Thanks for putting colors in my cookies mama!'

 

[canuk-gal]

I'm realizing most of my stories are about my youngest because he is a spitfire.

We were at Marshall's one day and our son was about four and right as I'm checking out he tells the cashier out of the clear blue:

"My daddy has a big penis"

Couldn't get out of there fast enough!

LOL

My son said this. HIGHLIGHT of my DH's life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[stracci2000]

I'm realizing most of my stories are about my youngest because he is a spitfire.

We were at Marshall's one day and our son was about four and right as I'm checking out he tells the cashier out of the clear blue:

"My daddy has a big penis"

Couldn't get out of there fast enough!

I just spit out my chocolate chip cookie...................!

 

[GliderPoss]

Got a new one to add - sister's family visiting for the weekend and my 6yr nephew woke up at 5am then woke everyone else up asking if he could play ipad....needless to say that went down like a lead balloon! Honestly the obsession is truly disturbing...

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

I always had sandwiches for lunch as a child and I loathed them even though I made them myself. I work really hard to pack DS7 a lunch that is better than a sandwich. He only gets one sandwich a week but that is usually accompanied by salami on the side and assorted veggie sticks or octopus shaped sausages etc.

He had a big test last Monday and I didn't want to mess around with exotic lunches in case it upset his tummy. So all he got was a jam sandwich and some carrot sticks.

On the car ride home he said to me:

Mummy even the kids who get a sandwich everyday had slightly better food today and there I was with a jam sandwich and some sad carrot sticks. Not even a tomato. I felt so unloved Mummy.

 

[kenny]

When out and about Bibi loves to chill out in a collar.

In his little scratchy, old man voice, our little green boy says:
Bibi
Beeeeeeeeebi
Stop it! (he says this in context)
Stop it, Bibi
Bibi, Stop it
Come here (he says this in context)
Come here, Bibi
Where's Bibi?
Bibi baby birdie
Birdie Birdie
Birdie Birdie Bibi
Kiss
A kissing sound 3 times: Pcht Pcht Pcht
Where's Birdie Birdie?
Gimme kiss
Good night Bibi
Step Up
Kizzy
Kizzy Yaya (the names of the two dogs he grew up with, though they have since passed away)
Shut up, Stupid
Bi Bi Bi Bi Bi (Really fast, each syllable exactly 5 times)
Whene Bibi hears one of us laugh he quickly copies us with a very clear and hearty belly laugh, "Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha".

He'll also get in a mood where he'll randomly combine any of the above in any combination, and repeat it over and over.
Of course when were out and about and I tell new people that he talks they'll ask to hear it, but of course he's silent.